When I cut you out of my life
This is one of the random moments when reflection leads to overthinking. And when overthinking sinks in. Shit's finally getting real.
I never thought being told at a young age when you get older you lose some of your friends would be true... But it happened.
When they no longer invite you out because you give too many excuses that are not believable and acceptable anymore (I quote, paulit-ulit na lang. Masyado ka kasing busy eh – if only they knew).
When you're way out of their field but you're only losing yourself in the process (not cool or funny enough, I guess).
When they're speaking using their own language. (na leleft-out, because, in all honesty, you don't speak and understand their language). Cough, cough, no abla ingles (this is me, being sarcastic).
When you don't or it takes too long for you to reply to their messages (nakakalimutan mo kasi o kaya tinatamad ka lang).
When you knew they're talking and (probably) laughing behind your back, and you're just like keeping all the pain inside you (kasalanan mo rin kasi).
There’s a saying, “if I cut you off, chances are, you're the one who handed me the scissors”. I guess, it is my only way of running or hiding. But mostly, of not suffering from a prolonging pain. This might sound bitter but we have to cut ties with those who hurt us, hika nga nila.
I've always thought true friends were supposed to be there for you through it all but I guess that's not true when they have better plans instead.
Know your true friends. Know your family. Because one day it hurts when you find out that people that you thought were true, aren't. Unfortunately, things changed, people changed, time passed.
I know I have my own issues. I humbly admit and recognize my own shortcomings (believe me I have a lot) and failure as a friend where I could have done better in this relationship or friendship. Though, I can't blame anyone, but myself for my shortcomings and that's what hurts the most. Which I have gravely regretted it every day hence.
I miss you. I will always love you. I’m... sorry.
And may our paths cross again someday.