#vilekyrie

[bubblemoon66]

Occasionally, I still think about the Spy!AU. 

[lassieposting]

What do you think the Dead Men / other skulduggery pleasant characters pet names would be for their SO?

OKAY SO

here's the rundown

DEAD MEN

ghasdug: they don't really use pet names. ghastly sometimes calls skug skul, which skug hates, but he gets away with it by dint of having done it since they were teens. they get together at 16 and for most of their relationship skug doesn't use affectionate nicknames or pet names for anyone. He does sometimes fondly call ghastly bespoke, though.

sexter: dexter is just dex, mostly - not just with saracen, but with all his lovers. saracen is like 5'9 to dexter's 6ft, so dexter fondly refers to him as big guy.

shudderkin: shudder isn't a pet name person, but he is pretty much the only person who regularly calls larrikin by his first name, rover. on the flipside, larrikin will answer to pretty much anything, and shudder promptly gets nicknamed altar boy, in honour of all that religious guilt he carries around.

other: ghastly was a sergeant major during the war. everyone who doesn't outrank him still occasionally whines "but sarge," if he's telling them off for something.

BAD BOY BRIGADE

violent: their relationship is a closely guarded secret for a long time, so in public they're professional: vile calls mevolent your grace, and mevolent calls vile general. in private, over the years, mevolent will sometimes fondly refer to vile as rouquin ("little redhead" or "little ginger" in Middle French). vile doesn't use pet names at all, but he does call mev mevolent, rather than an honorific title, which isn't something many people get to do

nefmev: they don't do pet names, especially not from nef. he's pretty smitten with mevolent, but mev sees him as a convenient casual hookup whenever he wants one, so he won't get away with over-familiarity in the same way vile could if he was the pet name type. he's one of mevolent's closest advisors, and in the war room, to a certain degree he gets to talk to mev like an equal and argue with him, but that doesn't really carry over to the bedroom. nef is used to messed up power dynamics, so this never really strikes him as odd.

sorrowscorn: they're both rather fond of darling

baronscorn: they have their own little awkward thing where she calls him husband and he calls her wife. the rest of the court are not entirely sure whether these are affectionate pet names or whether they are just strange ultra-repressed oddballs who think that's how normal people speak. vile and mevolent have a running bet.

GOOD GUYS (MISC)

cassdug: she's not flowery at all about her pet names - he's usually either love or lovey, depending on her mood. he doesn't really go in for them with her, but he does call her cassie in private, which is. very unusual for him, seeing as he pretty much never shortens names.

skulpine: skug calls nef nefarian. this is significant to nef because he isn't on first-name terms with leibniz!skug, and he gets visibly annoyed when og!skug keeps calling him nefarian in lsodm/tdotl. as his obsession shifts from skug-as-enemy to skug-as-ally, he starts to like the informality, because it makes him feel like skug likes him, and at a certain point he starts reciprocating by going from "the skeleton" or "detective pleasant" to skulduggery. these aren't actually pet names for skug though - he and og!serpine are on first name terms the whole way through book one, so this is normal to him.

valdug: pet names are pretty rare from him, and non-existent from her, but he does call her dear every now and then. neither of them are really the type that show affection like this.

skugwife: easily the most petnamey couple here - he's my darling and she's dearest. when they're courting and writing to each other, him at the front and her back in dublin, his letters begin with "dearest clary" and hers always end with "be safe, my darling". they keep this sappy shit up until she's killed, and even after - he vaguely remembers hallucinating her comforting him and telling him to come with me, my darling when he was being slowly tortured to death in serpine's dungeon, and that's the incident her ghost tells him about in tdotl - "we watched you suffer, we tried to get you to come with us".

vilekyrie: not so much a pet name, but i've always had a headcanon that when vile has nonverbal periods, he communicates with little shadow emojis like the sandman in rise of the guardians. he has one for her, like (🙎🏻), and mostly uses it to show he's worried about her if she's upset (🙎🏻❓) or that he's happy to see her/wants to show her something (🙎🏻❗) or say "I love you" (🙎🏻❤). sometimes his shadows will make the little signs in his sleep, and she can tell he's talking to her in his dreams. she sees it as almost a pet name. when he's talking though, they don't really have any.

(@bubblemoon66 do they have pet names in the spy!au? now im curious)

soldug: they mostly call each other by their surnames (pleasant/wreath) or by titles (detective/cleric), so their version of pet names is just...informality. if they use skulduggery or solomon, it's usually affectionate or concerned.

skug's siblings: after skug's mother is killed, he gets custody of the five youngest siblings. respair, the youngest, is only like four, and still has a little-kid lisp, and can't actually say 'skulduggery'. So skug gets to spend several unfortunate years as...well...skug thkug. respair grows out of it - eventually. raising kids is a thankless, embarrassing job.

BAD GUYS (MISC)

vilequesse: she frequently refers to him as my little toy or my pet. he doesn't really have one for her (but vilekyrie!au vile does have a sign for darquesse, and it's different to his one for val, which is. a relief for her tbh because for a while she's not actually sure whether he knows there's a difference)

tanguine: brs is a good ol' southern boy, so he has a whole bunch of names for tanith. honey bun, sweetheart, sugar, dumplin', all the typical schmoopy food ones. if she asks him something, he'll often answer her with either "yes ma'am" or "no ma'am". tanith, being all remnanty, isn't overly given to genuine displays of affection, but in a world where he survives tdotl and they figure it out, she mostly opts for babe

[lovesomehate]

Shit… I wanna read some Vilekyrie fanfics

But I have read all of them already…

[valdug]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Title: vide noir

Rating: E

Pairing: Valkyrie Cain/Lord Vile, Valkyrie Cain/Skulduggery Pleasant (implied)

Summary: “I know you can talk,” Valkyrie said. “I’ve heard you in my world before.”

Silence, which somehow still disappointed her, though of course she hadn’t expected him to answer. Suddenly—like a voice in a dream, only half-there, quiet and rasping—"What did I say?“

She was taken aback, and she only stared at him at first, as though trying to process that he’d actually spoken. Then, "My name,” Valkyrie said. “You just said my name.”

[vverandi]

vilekyrie.

thats it, thats the post

[pumpkan]

Im on an SP rampage

Hey have you read There May be Some Dancing by @neotericbitch?

[lilboppaloola]

"Devil Side" by Foxes is some good fuckin Vilekyrie content this has been a PSA

[eyesocketsandsuits]

Some Persistence of Personification

@onelassieandherfandoms : where’s all my vilekyrie content at

On AO3. On FFn.

In a different life, Valkyrie would have liked to live somewhere like here. The trees groaned above her, leaves red and yellow and orange, casting fantastic patterns in her vision, even with her eyes closed, even with her ears ringing, head spinning.

Her eyes snapped open and she scrambled up, slipping back down in the leaves.

Lord Vile stood in front of her, the only monochrome thing in the whole forest.

Valkyrie couldn't speak, a lump in her throat. She wondered where her stick was, buried somewhere underneath the leaves. She felt naked.

"Hey," she rasped.

Lord Vile didn't move.

Valkyrie gave a little wave. "You tried to kill me last time I found you. Are you going to do that again?"

Vile held a hand up, and a shadow whipped forward—Valkyrie flinched back.

Nothing hit her.

She cracked her eye open, and her stick was held in front of her by a thin shadow. She frowned at it, frowned at Vile, and then held her hand out. The stick floated gently into her hand, and the shadow dissolved into the air.

Valkyrie gripped it, gripped it harder. Let out a breath.

"Thank you."

Wind rustled through the trees. A red leaf floated down and landed on Vile's helmet.

Valkyrie laughed.

A shadow grew from Vile's armor and pierced the leaf, and the laugh died on Valkyrie's lips.

"You know, this is the first time we've had a talk since…" Valkyrie stood, slowly. "Since, well, you know. Since you went coo-coo-cachoo. I've missed you. It's weird not hearing you talk all the time. Do you miss talking?"

Nothing.

"I bet you do," Valkyrie said, brushing a leaf off her pants. "I bet Skulduggery is dying to make fun of me, isn't he? What does he think of this tattoo?" She pulled up her shirt and pointed to the cartoony skull and crossbones on her ribs. "I can hear the disappointment from here."

Vile did nothing.

"I mean, not that you care, just that I've been dragging myself all over the world looking for you." Valkyrie put her hands in her pocket and shrugged. "I missed you, you know? And every time I found you, you would throw shadow spikes at me, and hit me in the head with a shadow and knock me out…"

Valkyrie looked at him, eyes wide, before shrugging again.

"I mean, it's whatever, I forgive you for hitting me on the head with a shadow and knocking me unconscious. Risk I have to take."

Valkyrie kicked a leaf.

Vile did what he had been mostly been doing—nothing.

"I miss Skulduggery, by the way, not you. Why didn't you kill me, just then? You finally had me at your mercy, literally at your feet. You messed up. That's every villain's problem, you know, they don't strike while the iron is hot."

Valkyrie was getting sufficiently creeped out, Vile just staring at her.

"Can I talk to Skulduggery? Please? Does he miss me?"

A shadow swept across the ground, scattering leaves as it came towards her. Valkyrie jumped over it, snarling, and ran towards Vile, brandishing her stick.

The ground shifted under her and Valkyrie had to change directions. Her feet slipped in the leaves and she fell on her side, kicking her legs, trying to get away get away get away, before a shadow ripped through her.

Instead, Vile was suddenly standing over her. Valkyrie lashed out, magic crackling, but what she didn't expect was his foot to come down on her chest, squeezing the air from her lungs.

Valkyrie felt tears spring to her eyes. Panicked, she swung her stick towards him, weak, slow, but as soon as it got near him, energy crackled out and snuck underneath the plates in Vile's armor.

Vile jerked away, spikes twisting out of the shadows, as much as a snarl as Vile would make. Valkyrie scrambled up and ran, slipping and sliding on the leaves.

She sprinted, nearly twisting an ankle, until she tasted iron in her mouth. She slowed, looking over her shoulder.

But it was fine. He never followed.

…

England greeted her with rain.

Valkyrie out front of the airport, looking around, glaring at anyone who bumped into here, even when they were long gone, suitcase behind them like a dog. Valkyrie's own suitcase was filthy.

A car sped past, and Valkyrie jumped backwards too late. A gust of wind blew water in her face. Tanith pulled up on her bike.

"Valkyrie!" Tanith took of her helmet, hair like a mane, brightest thing standing on that asphalt. "God, it's been ages!" She hopped off her bike and pulled Valkyrie into a rough hug. "You look good."

Valkyrie managed to smile back. "Missed you. Happy things haven't changed here, and thank you for picking me up. I really appreciate it."

Tanith grinned. "Hey, what's a little motorcycle ride in the rain for my best gal pal?" She opened the seat of her bike. "How goes the hunt, by the way?" she asked, casually, voice light.

"Your Sanctuary was nice enough to tip me off that he's in the area. Somewhere. In the country. Which is a better lead than I usually have." Valkyrie hesitated. "Tanith, there's no way my suitcase is going to fit in there. Like, no way."

Tanith looked from Valkyrie's suitcase to the motorcycle. "Can you drag it?"

"Won't the wheels snap off?"

"I mean, maybe." Tanith puckered her lips, then shrugged. "I think you're going to have to drag it. Sorry, Val."

The wheels did snap off, and Valkyrie was terrified of the whole thing spilling open and her clothing tripping up the bike. Tanith didn't seemed concerned, because she had a helmet, but Valkyrie was busy blinking the water out of her eyes, one arm firmly around Tanith's waist, the other hand with the suitcase, utterly blind to what was happening.

Granted, Tanith lived here, and probably traversed these roads constantly. But it made her heart pound with adrenaline, all the same.

And then she was flying through the air.

Her reflexes snapped in before she knew what was happening, and she curled her arms around her head, trying to make sense of the ground.

But it didn't matter, because something wrapped around her and dragged her down. She slammed in the asphalt, winded, confused. She twisted, and there was Tanith's bike, front tire shredded—and Tanith?

There was just the green of the surrounding fields.

And then she was flung through the air and landed right in the middle of one of those fields. She rolled through the dung and dirt, shoulder cracking. She struggled to sit—her arm gave out from under her. Dislocated, probably.

Valkyrie's ears rang, and she jumped up, whipping around.

And there was Lord Vile, dark, water making him shimmer in a demented sort of mirage as it rippled over the armor. It almost looked like leather in this light. The wheat was up to his waist, and it brushed against Valkyrie's hands.

"Skulduggery?" Valkyrie tried.

Vile grew spikes and threw himself at her. She danced out of the way, ragged and disoriented, her shoulder throbbing. He whipped those shadows at her feet, but she was already dancing away.

"Tanith!" she bellowed.

Shadow slammed into her, and she fell onto her bad shoulder. Pain seared, so sudden tears mixed with the rain, and then it disappeared. He had popped the damn thing back into place. And her concentration was back, too.

The power rushed to her like an energetic dog, and she dug her fingers into the dirt and electricity burrowed through the ground. Vile couldn't see what she was doing, and Valkyrie watched with a grim sort of satisfaction as Vile cringed.

And then shadows slithered through the ground and crawled onto her hands. She screamed and jolted back, but the shadows dug into her flesh. She howled this time, shaking her hands and the shadows ate through her flesh, red with the black.

The shadows dissolved like smoke, and Vile was standing over her.

Valkyrie was shaking, the raw pain—

Vile bent down in the grass, looking at her hands. Valkyrie could see Skulduggery in him, then, in the tilt of the head, and the direct, wondrous interest in her, her movements, her pain.

He hadn't meant to hurt her. That was plain to see. And he reached out to touch her cheek…

Tanith slammed her sword into his back. Vile reared upwards, but Tanith had gotten her sword through a slit in his armor. She grunted in satisfaction and twisted, and Valkyrie could see the pain as Vile moved.

But it didn't take him long to figure out what had happened. A black tentacle whipped around Tanith's waist and pulled her off, held her in the air. Tanith struggled, trying to rip or hack at the shadow, but Vile just squeezed harder.

Valkyrie could see the shadow start to burrow under Tanith's skin, follow her veins, bloody and violent and painful. Tanith screamed. Vile tilted his head, manipulated the air with his hand, and the shadow obediently followed.

Valkyrie dragged herself off the ground. Her heart slammed in her ears. However much of Skulduggery remained, his benevolence only extended as far as Valkyrie.

"Stop!"

Tanith stopped screaming.

Valkyrie lipped her lips. Vile's back was to her, but he looked over his shoulder at her.

Valkyrie stepped closer. "Stop." Her voice was hoarse.

Lord Vile considered, turning back to Tanith in the air. For a long second, Valkyrie thought he was going to continue, and that she would have to watch her friend die.

But then, then, thank God, Vile tossed her away like a ragdoll.

The heavy weight on Valkyrie's chest lifted, and she staggered over to where Tanith had disappeared in the long grass. She was already sitting up and flicking her hands to rid herself of the blood from her ruptured capillaries.

"Where is he?" Tanith said, reaching for her sword.

"You're bleeding," Valkyrie pointed out.

"Yeah, and I'm going to make him bleed."

"He's a skeleton." Valkyrie stood. "He's gone."

"Fuck." Tanith stood up. "And he wrecked my bike. God, he's such a dick."

"Are you, like, okay?" Valkyrie stared at Tanith's hands. "He might have nicked an artery."

Tanith walked back over to the road. "Listen, if I pass out from blood loss, call the mechanic and get my bike taken care of, first."

…

Tanith's house was larger than Valkyrie would have expected. It was way out in the country, an hour's ride in a taxi. A neglected garden filled with weeds and wild plants, but grass neat and clipped. Large windows, a second floor. Wooden walls that needed to be repainted.

When Tanith unlocked the door and led Valkyrie, it made her sad. Not enough furniture for the large space. No pictures on the walls.

"I don't have another bed besides my own," Tanith said, pointing to the couch. "But I have plenty of blankets and spare pillows. If it's really awful, you can always bunk with me. But I kick and punch in my sleep."

Valkyrie grinned. "No, the couch's perfect."

Tanith threw Valkyrie's clothes into the dryer and gave her an old, baggy t-shirt for pajamas.

They heated up leftovers and then made popcorn, flipping through the local access channels because Tanith wasn't home enough to justify cable. They had a good time—Downtown Abbey was still playing, all these years later—and they tried to piece together the story, laughing madly.

This was good. It was the first time she had relaxed in years, and the realization of it made her throat close up.

The realization of it made her miss Skulduggery.

"Hey, Val?"

Valkyrie looked over, swallowing heavily. "Yeah?"

Tanith ate some popcorn, eyes glued to the television screen, fingers bandaged. "Why did he listen to you?"

Valkyrie couldn't comprehend the question. She floundered for a second, but Tanith continued:

"I mean, he was going to kill me, today, wasn't he? And you told him to stop, and he did." Tanith' glanced over at her, then back to the television. "And he didn't kill you. You were down on the ground. He could have."

"Yeah. He could have."

"So, why?"

Valkyrie swallowed again. "I mean, he's still Skulduggery, right?"

Tanith looked over so fast, Valkyrie was surprised her neck didn't crack.

Valkyrie's fingers curled into her palms. "I mean, somewhere, deep inside," she said quickly, "Skulduggery is there. And I think that he's been Lord Vile so long that Skulduggery can influence his decisions."

Tension had drained from Tanith's shoulders, and she looked back at the screen. "Yeah, that makes sense. Who the hell is this stuffy bloke with the limp again?"

…

Valkyrie's eyes snapped open.

She didn't know where she was and she kicked herself upwards, panting, sticky with sweat. Not a hotel, she had flown somewhere yesterday though, arrived…

Relief swept through her. England. Tanith.

The nightmare clung to her mind. She kicked the covers off and tied her hair back from her face, fanning herself. A cold glass of water always helped sooth her nerves, and she was just swinging her feet off the couch when she caught sight of Lord Vile.

She froze. He stood in front of the television, not a meter away from her, as black as the night around him.

She should call for Tanith. Call for Tanith and run, because here was a mass murderer standing in front of her, who was going to murder her friend a few hours earlier, who was going to probably murder Valkyrie now. She should call for Tanith.

Valkyrie stood, slowly, slowly. Shadows rolled around Valkyrie's ankles, ready to lash out if she ran, but she didn't.

Valkyrie walked up to him, an inch between them, if that. She looked at his helmet, where his eye sockets would be, so she could at least pretend she was looking him in the eye and not this knot of metal and shadow.

When was the last time she had even seen Skulduggery?

Tendrils of shadows curled against her legs, wrapping around them, brushed against her cheek. Gentle, so gentle.

And Valkyrie leaned herself against his armor, and it curved to meet her body, so she could press closer. How she had missed him, in whatever small way this was him. Maybe he missed her, too.

And those shadows wrapped around over her knees, inching upwards, and she sighed, deeply, sadly. He had never killed her when he had the chance, had he? Just let her run. Like one huge game of cat and mouse.

Her head lolled, and the shadows wrapped around her neck, soft as satin against her skin. Years she had been chasing after him, even since Roarhaven. All around the world. Years. Maybe she was tired.

The shadows curled around her thighs, twisted underneath the back of her shirt, brushed against her lips. And higher those tendrils on her thighs reached.

"Valkyrie?"

Lord Vile disappeared, and his absence made her stagger forward. She whipped around, panting, to Tanith on the stairs.

Tanith's eyes flicked over Valkyrie, eyebrows drawn together.