Villain monologue? Excuse me I am infodumping to you about my special interest and my special interest is death traps, machinations, and machiavellian plans.
You'll find that if you've paid enough attention to my interests, you'll be able to escape your inevitable death at my nefarious hands, and we can start building a relationship out of this.
I put it to a vote on several discords as to what I'd write as a holiday fill. Penguin/Reader was the winner! Heads up: this fill is NSFW and uses the trope of sex pollen in a dubcon context (it doesn't stay dubcon for long
Thank you to @bellafarallones for playing in this space on Discord.
The Christmas tree in Gotham City Center is many things; a symbol of holiday cheer, a photo opportunity, the centerpiece of every big ticket celebration from now until New Years Day.
It’s also fucking up your patrol. It’s so big that even from your vantage point on the Tribune building, large portions of downtown are blocked from view.
Ah well, if anyone tries anything on or around the tree, it’ll be a big enough to-do that Batman will deal with it. No one tries to blow up the city center as a means of luring the Shrike into a trap, that much you know.
You tap the side of your glove, bringing up your security alert map. You’ve got every big target on it, as well as locations that attract repeat villain attention for random reasons (proximity to hideouts, favorite restaurants, etc). With the tree-lighting in progress, odds are high someone will pull a robbery, banking on the Bat and his friends being too busy to intervene.
Two minutes later, an alert flashes for the Gotham History Museum.
You summon your wings as you step into the air.
Okay, so technically they’re a physical manifestation of your ability to manipulate gravity, but it took you months to perfect the shape to mimic a raptors. You’ll call them whatever you fucking please.
What most villains, and a lot of heroes, forget is that most museums put windows in their bathrooms to avoid that grim public transportation hub vibe. Which makes entering without tipping off an adversary easier than, say, crashing through a skylight. So you slip in, emerging in the east wing of the museum with no one the wiser.
You make it to the “gems of the medieval world” exhibit be you pick up any movement; improved vision is one of the upsides of your “accident.”
Staying in the shadows, you take in the banners outside the exhibit. The ones announcing the presence of the world-famous “Peacock Diamond.”
Wait, Peacock…
“Seriously, Penguin?” You mutter.
“Deeply so, my dear.”
You see him in the doorway just as ropes pop from the walls to ensnare you. The snap of several others in the distance tells you he was determined to trap you.
“You’re not one to go rushing in. I figure this will teach you a valuable lesson in not skulking about.” He must have goons with him; he’s in his long coat and fedora as well as his tux. He never does that if he expects to do his own fighting.
“How’d you know it’d be me?”
“Because you can never resist a visit with me.” He smiles at you, teeth the tiniest bit sharp.
“Because you keep picking heist locations in areas you know I patrol.” You bat your lashes, “almost like you want a beautiful woman with anger issues to kick your ass. You know you can just pay people for that, right?”
“Such crass language.” He saunters toward you, eyeing you up from your boots to your mask, “and last time it was your behind that took the brunt of an attack.”
“Real polite way of saying you hit me with that fucking umbrella several times.”
He tuts, stroking your cheek as you glare at him, “You deserved it for the bruises you left on my stomach with these” the umbrella draws down your leg and taps your boot.
“Uh boss, we’re-” the newest henchman stops when he sees the two of you, “do you need us to get her out of here? River’s right there-”
“Just get the car started, uncultured clod.” He snarls, watching the man like a hawk until he’s scurried out of sight. Then he turns back to you with a smile that means mischief, not business, “why put yourself in the path of such brutes, hm? Why not retire while you’ve still got a life to live-”
“Not this again-”
He bends down, nose nearly brushing yours. You heard him refer to it as “a fine, Roman nose” once. Pompous bastard.
“Why not let a refined and worthy bird build you a nest? I could forgive all you’ve subjected me to if you’d let me make you sing-”
Rather than let him notice you blushing, you dart your head forward and bite the end of his nose. His affronted yelp of pain is worth taking the umbrella to the ribs and hearing his voice go cold as he wishes you a good night and tells you the cleaning crew should come in ten hours to untie.
Once he’s out of view, you trigger the claws on your gloves, making short work of the rope. Did he really think this would hold you?
You roll your shoulders and crack your neck; you hope he took the limo. It’ll be fun to drop through that roof to get the diamond back.
The best part of working in the Gotham Zoo is that the route from the staff gate takes you right past the elephant pen. And there’s nothing cuter at 8:30 on Thursday than a baby elephant trying to make sense of new concepts like “rain” and “the frog that hopped in through the fence.”
Reaching your desk, you find a little box, wrapped in black and white paper. Your heart moves through an interpretive dance you’ve given up on understanding as you open it.
A dainty brooch in the shape of a barn owl is waiting for you, along with a note that simply reads, “dinner and a show tonight?”
Technically, not even staff should wander the exhibits this late. But you’ve stayed at work until ten pm to finish this speech that the zoo director wants to give to the funders. That earns you some time watching your favorite residents.
“Hello, my beauties. Did you get lots of sun today?”
The pair of California Condors regard you long enough to see if you have food, then return their attention to preening. They’ll probably sleep soon. You should, too, but right now it’s nicer to watch them in the scant light and summer air.
You don’t register anything wrong until the door to the aviary opens. A normal person wouldn’t be able to hear it from this distance, but you can. Just like you hear a voice, one that was insulting you two days ago for chaining him to a lamp post, admonishing someone.
“...in there, they have their own exhibit.”
You hide behind the trashcan. When the door opens, you wish you had your gloves on you, or literally any weapon. If it comes to a physical fight you still like your odds, but your secret identity will be toast.
“Alright gentleman, I’ll deploy the sleeping gas, then it’s two men per bird.” The Penguin coos, “it’s alright my friends, we’re going to take you somewhere far nicer.”
Is he fucking serious?
You’re so indignant on their behalf it overrides everything else.
“Is your “somewhere far nicer” climate controlled? And this size?” You stand, crossing your arms, “will you be bringing in a vet on this scam when they get sick?”
The Penguin frowns, cocking his head, “And who would you be, my dear?”
“I’m head of the education department. Which is why I can tell you there are fewer than 600 of these in the wild, and that each of these birds was hand-reared from a chick to be part of species preservation breeding program” You notice two of the henchmen getting closer, only for the Penguin to hold out an arm, stopping them.
“Anything else you wish to lecture me on?”
“Who’s going to care for them? Even if you treat them like pets, do you have a care plan in place if you get, y’know, arrested? Again?”
“Well-”
“Do you really want to end up responsible for something so incredible dying? Just because you wanted it all for yourself?” You glance at the birds, one of whom is now asleep, then back at him “you have a lot of money right? You could come and see them any time you wanted.”
You don’t mean for your voice to go so soft. The Penguin does something odd in reply; he smiles. It’s not the cruel smile you saw when you met him as the Shrike. It’s charmed and charming, and you have a sinking feeling you want to see it again.
The condors stay put.
You run your fingers over the brooch. If you put it on, when you leave work today there will be a car waiting to take you on a date. It’s a different gift each time, but the code has been consistent since your second meeting.
“I’m moving to fucking Omaha.” You cower with three other presenters behind the speakers table. And here you’d been so pleased that the Peregrinators Club was willing to have you present in spite of the unforgivable sin of being a woman. One of three invited to speak, in fact.
The Penguin announces he is there to relieve the club of several rare bird taxidermies. You can’t bring yourself to be mad about it; not like that many people get to see them in here.
“Now, that leaves me with one more thing to collect.” He turns casually about on the stage, “which one of you charming ladies would be so kind as to accompany me for the evening?”
“Fuck no.” The woman next to you shakes her head, “ew.”
That part confuses you; the Penguin isn’t small, in fact you’d call him handsomely fat. His nose is a bit beaked and crooked (you’d bent it yourself two days ago by headbutting him). To be honest, you haven’t paid much attention to how his face makes you feel. The smell is more familiar; hints of cigar smoke and some kind of cologne, clothes that have been dry cleaned and starched.
The other woman has her hands over her head like she’s in a duck and cover drill.
You sigh and stand. The Penguin grins when he notices, “Excellent. Come along, my dove, don’t be shy.”
He escorts you to a limo, taking your hand as you sit next to him, “I was rather hoping you’d volunteer. If not, I was going to do it for you.” He pats your hand as you narrow your eyes, “the taxidermy was a nice bonus, not the specimen that I was truly after.”
“Watch it.” You pull your hand back, wary, “how do I know this isn’t just payback for the condors?”
His smile is brittle, “Not the glass half full kind, I see.”
“That’s not an answer.” You’re trying to sound unsure and afraid instead of annoyed. He seems like the kind of man that works on.
He rests his hands between his legs, posture sagging, “I wanted to see you again. I’ve been thinking of you ever since the zoo. I feel we may be...birds of a feather. Abduction means you won’t be mistaken for an accomplice.”
An amused smile creeps across your face, “You kidnapped me to hear more bird facts?”
“Not solely.” He gingerly takes your hand and you give it willingly, “permit me an evening to make my case for companionship, starting with dinner. Name the place you wish to dine and we’ll go.”
“Is the Red Rose Lounge really as good as everyone says?”
He grins, “Let’s find out.”
It was the nicest evening you’d had since moving to Gotham. Oz (you called him that in case he recognized how you said his last name or villain title. He beamed when you did) hung on your every word, and had more than a few stories of his own to share. He had wine but didn’t push you to share it, and your palates aligned shockingly well. By the end of the night, you were giddy enough to kiss his cheek. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen a man look so surprised. Or delighted.
You made him promise to come up with a way of asking you out that didn’t involve kidnapping. You found the box with the vulture-shaped stud earrings on your desk two days later, with a note telling you to put them on if you wanted to see him that night.
You pin the owl brooch into the lap of your sweater and start in on your to-do list. It’s not yet winter break, so the zoo is slow, and no one is clamoring to schedule educational events or visits so late in the year. You end up completing an updated script for the bird show until it’s time to go.
Oz is waiting for you in a black, vintage Cadillac. You’ve ended up on the hood of it several times as the Shrike; this is the first time you get to enjoy the interior.
“Hi, Oz.” You lean in and kiss his cheek.
“I’m so glad you accepted my invitation, my dove.”
“Do I get to know where we’re going?”
“Our favorite haunt for dinner. Then to the Aladdin theater for a Hitchcock double-feature.”
“What are they showing besides The Birds?”
“Your favorite; Rear Window.”
“Oooh, I can’t wait to see it on the big screen.”
The waiter at Heron and Reed is expecting you, and your usual small booth in the back corner is mercifully near the fireplace.
Oz clicks his tongue as he clasps his hands over yours on the black tablecloth, “you’re chilled. Here, take my coat-”
“Oz, I’m okay. I just run cold.”
He undoes his pin-striped scarf and loops it over your shoulders, “At least take this.”
“Even if it blocks the view?” You tuck it into your sweater, savoring the warmth carried from his skin to yours and covering any hint of cleavage.
“Chivalry requires sacrifice.” He re-takes your hand, keeps his thigh in place when yours bumps it. He orders the usual; blackened salmon for him, wild mushroom pot pie for you. It’s not an exaggeration to say you dream about the stuff.
Not that it’s the main thing you dream about.
No, that honor goes to the man beside you. In spite of never seeing him in less than three layers of clothing you’re certain that naked, he’s a sight to behold. You know what it feels to like to cuddle up to him (or get the jump on him), but your brain eagerly offers up theories of what it would be like to be in his lap, or beneath him in bed, how he’d sound as he fucked you, what he’d say as he buried himself in you.
The first time you had one of those dreams after a fight instead of a date, it worried you. You considered refusing any future dates, then cracked after ten days without seeing him. For now, you’ve made your peace with it; Batman is always hooking up with Catwoman and she’s not exactly law-abiding.
Besides, you’re pretty sure dating Oz does more to deter his criminal behavior than thwarting him does. He’s out with you at least once a week, you know for a fact he picks all your gifts in-person which must mean a lot of shopping, and more than once you’ve spotted him at the zoo, watching the condors.
(He also confessed last month, after a bottle of Chardonnay, that he’s lost more than one afternoon to, “laying on my bed and daydreaming of ways to woo you”).
By the time you’re done with dinner and seated in the theater, personal space is a faraway concept. You raise the armrest and nestle against him. A soft, odd coo leaves his throat as he wraps his arm around you. As the lights dim, you’re once again faced by the question that’s been hammering in your head for weeks.
Why hasn’t he made a move? He hasn’t even kissed you. It’s been six months!
Meanwhile, any time the Shrike hunts down the Penguin he seems ten seconds from ripping your costume off and fucking you over the nearest flat surface. He nibbled your ear when taunting you two weeks ago, for fucks sake.
“My dove?”
His voice pulls you back into the theater.
“Sorry, my mind wandered.” You toy with the scarf as you smile at him, “I’m so cozy and full from dinner, little worried I might fall asleep on you.”
“The faux pas will be safe with me.” He kisses the top of your head as the lights dim.
Halfway through The Birds, you’re reminded of yet more reasons to move to Omaha.
Killer Croc barrels through the screen, one of the Bat family in hot pursuit. The wiring sparks as they fight, and all too soon the sprinkler system kicks on, soaking you before Oz can get his umbrella open.
“That scale-brained troglodyte” Oz growls as the two of you make for the car in the freezing wind, “I’ll skin him the next time he shows his face. Then make him into a handbag I can gift you in apology for this disastrous evening.”
“N-no” you shiver as Oz opens the car door and shoos you in, “no need to skin anyone on my behalf. Just” another shiver, “get me somewhere warm, please.”
“Your wish is my command.”
Oz is an aggressive driver. An upside of this is you reach your destination in outer Gotham remarkably fast given traffic.
“My humble abode.” Oz bows, opening the door of a shiny apartment building, “well, I suppose the base of it. Come along.”
The elevator deposits you at the penthouse door.
“The penguin door knocker is a nice touch.”
“I thought you might appreciate it.” Oz guides you inside, taking your soaked coat and hanging it next to his on the hooks by the door. You follow him deeper into the apartment; it’s the color scheme you expected, black and white with metallic accents, but instead of sleek or modern furniture, the chairs and sofas look built for comfort.
Oz flicks a switch on the wall of the living room and a fireplace blazes to life, “I promise to give you a full tour another time. The first order of business tonight is a hot bath, to address both the chill and the tension from our interrupted evening. I’ll have it ready in a moment” His hand lingers on your cheek even as he turns for a darkened doorway.
You give him points for creativity; getting you nice and relaxed in the tub before making his move is more interesting than just insisting you take your clothes off to avoid catching cold.
When he calls for you to join him, you expect to find him already in the tub. Instead he’s still fully clothed, one hand dipping into the water of an immense Jacuzzi tub that’s at risk of overflowing with bubbles.
“You’re not joining me?” Your fingers hesitate on the hem of your blouse.
“No. Although I’d very much like it if you permitted me to keep you company from out here.”
“Be my guest.” You start undressing, curious about what he’ll do. The answer is: examine the ceiling until he hears you enter the water.
You moan happily and he quickly drags a small chair in from the other room and sits so he’s facing you. Some small part of you still braces for him to tell you that your wet clothes mean you’ll have to spend the rest of the night naked. Or that he wants you to slip your hand between your thighs and give him a show.
A much larger part of you wants to suggest it yourself.
But you talk like you always do as the room fills with orange blossom steam. Until you idly lift your leg from the suds to stretch and Oz’s train of thought loses its track mid-description of a boyhood trip to the botanical gardens.
His gaze follows the water down your leg. You take your time lowering it as you say, “Can’t remember the last time I took a bubble bath.”
“I find they’re a must after a long day.”
You shift in the water so that your arms rest on the edge of the tub nearest him. You’re pretty sure the bubbles hide the swell of your ass. You’re also well past caring if he sees.
“When I was a kid I’d try to make a tower out of the bubbles. I think my little-kid logic told me I could reach the shower head if I stacked them high enough.” You mound a handful of suds on top of another.
Oz moves from his chair to kneel on the floor, pushing up his sleeves and sweeping a hand through the bubbles. It’s awkward, so unlike his usual dapper bearing, that you can’t help but smile.
“Were you happy as a child?” He draws a circle in the foam. He’s never asked about that part of your life. You assume it’s to keep the conversation from steering into his own past.
“Yeah. I mean, my parents weren’t perfect, but they love me.” You hazard being honest, “the next time they visit, you should meet us for dinner.”
“I would like that.” He rests his hand on your arm. His sleeves aren’t up quite high enough and a damp spot forms on the white fabric.
Before you can ask what else he’d like, he pats your skin, “I have a few things to attend to. I’ve left you a towel for when you’re through, my pretty peacock.”
You linger a few minutes more, then wrap yourself in the large, fluffy black towel.
“I hope you’re not planning to make me take a cab in just this?” You tease as you wander back toward the fireplace.
“Never.” Oz walks into view with a garment bag on a hanger, “I intended this to be a gift for a future date, but needs must.”
You unzip the bag. Waiting inside is a sweater dress, black with swirls of white sequins forming a snowstorm at the bottom.
“It’s so soft.”
“Cashmere. Here, here, try it on.” He eagerly hands the bag to you, once again regarding the ceiling until you say it’s safe to look.
“Can you do this last button on the back?”
“Of course, my pet.”
He doesn’t step away once he’s through. When you turn to face him, you’re practically chest to chest.
“It’s wonderful, Oz. Thank you.” You gingerly set your hands on his chest and place a single, innocent kiss on his lips. His face moves from surprised to delighted, then lands on something you can’t parse. You don’t want to rush him, so you lower your hands to gently hold his.
Oz looks down, then lifts your hands to his lips and kisses each in turn before meeting your eyes, “I think it’s best if you head home. This storm is only getting worse, and I’d never forgive myself if you ended up in a wreck because you dawdled with me.”
It wrong-foots you so completely that you say “of course” without pausing to argue. You spend the cab ride home regretting this decision, and the time you spend getting ready for bed sorting through reasons why Oz made it.
The best you come up with is this: Oz prides himself on being calculating and classy. Maybe you jumped the gun, while he’s waiting to create the perfect evening to confess his feelings. The thought is so adorable it lessens the sting of rejection.
It also makes you slightly less annoyed when, two nights later, you feel a figure behind you during a stake out.
“Has my little bird finally come home to roost?”
You reach back with your right hand and set it on his belly, claws out.
“Stay there, Cobblepot. And don’t flatter yourself; the Iceberg Lounge just happens to be the best vantage spot for this.”
“You’re on my private balcony. One might call that trespassing.” The very tip of the umbrella slowly drags up the back of your right thigh.
“One might. One might also want to stay the hell out of my way if he wants his liver in one piece.” You keep your eyes on the street below, “I’ve been on these five for months. Members of the fucking vice squad.”
“A noble profession.” He muses dryly.
You snicker, bitter, “These ones like to assault the kids they’re ‘saving’ from turning tricks before taking them in. Since most end up locked up anyway for their ‘protection’ these fuckers have easy access to them to do it again. Gordon probably knows and is trying to nail them on it, but I’m sick of waiting.”
Voices from a half-open door on the street. You brace, ready to jump, breaking contact with Oz in the process.
“Careful, my bloodthirsty beauty. I’d hate to see you in a cage.”
“That’s a lie and we both know it.”
He’s much closer now, one hand resting on your waist as he whispers, “You’re right. I’d keep you nice and warm in a golden one, if I could.”
You make the mistake of turning your head to look at him. His eyes glitter in the city lights and for a moment you forget who you are.
Oz makes his move in that moment, grips your chin and kisses you hard. You don’t embrace him, but you can’t bring yourself to push him away and lose the taste of him. You do manage to bite his lip as he pulls back, but the heat fueling the movement isn’t anger.
He touches the bruise on his lip, “I won’t wait forever, my dear.”
You think about bubbles, about cashmere on your skin and hesitance in his eyes.
“I’ll believe that when I see it.” You wink before jumping out into the cold, waiting air.
So help you god, if Oz doesn’t make a move tonight, you’re going to talk to Batman about giving you a course remedial investigation skills.
It’s December 23rd. Oz knows you’re not doing anything for Christmas. His invitation tonight was to his penthouse for a “candle-lit dinner for two.” He suggested you pack spare clothes, “just in case the weather is too frightful to travel and it's safer to stay in our cozy nest.”
If all that doesn’t add up to, “please spend the next several days under me in bed” you don’t know what does.
You arrive in the dress he gave you, complete with a lacy surprise underneath. There’s a bounce in his step as he takes your coat and as he guides you to the dining room. There are only two chairs, one at the head and one at its right, a bottle of champagne in an ice-bucket, and glasses that are genuine crystal.
“I’m nearly done setting the mood. Let me just fetch the centerpiece and then we can begin the courses in earnest.” He pulls out one of the chairs and you sit with a smile.
“You really know how to make a girl feel special.”
“I’ve anticipated tonight with an eagerness I cannot fully convey. I want it to be perfect. Here, my dove, take a look at this charming plant I found for the table.”
He passes you a small pot. The plant within it resembles a bird of paradise on psychedelics, greens and purples on the leaves giving way to a pink flower with pollen so yellow it hurts your eyes.
Your brain puts all the features together into an identification. That’s when interest gives way to alarm; this is Cupids Arrow. A plant that produces what can be best described as “sex pollen.” You’ve read up on the effects and they’re nothing to sneeze at.
Maybe Oz really doesn’t know. Maybe he’s not trying to trick you into getting so horny you beg the nearest warm body for relief.
“It has a fascinating scent. I can’t place what it reminds me of, can you?”
Motherfucker.
You put the pot on the table and push yourself out of the chair like it’s on fire, “You have five fucking seconds to explain yourself.”
“My dove-”
“No, don’t even try it, not after trying to give me the worlds strongest aphrodisiac and lying to me about it!”
“I only meant to– that is, darling, you must understand that you’re in no danger-”
“Right, yeah, sure, this is exactly the kind of stunt safe men pull.” You’re already moving for the front door, “night, Oz. Been nice knowing you.”
A frantic “wait” darts out the door as you close it. You don’t stop.
Is that why he wouldn't kiss you back before? It’s no fun for him if you offer yourself happily, only if you’re tricked into it and helpless to resist?
You thought he cared about you.
That you were birds of a feather.
By the time you’re home, all you can do is lay face-down on your bed while anger and hurt jockey for control inside you.
You want to know why he did it. You want to get him back for it.
(You want to continue the night as planned, kiss him until he’s breathless and you’re desperate, see how handsome he looks naked in the firelight).
Getting an answer out of him, let alone payback, while still wanting him so intensely it hurts, feels impossible for you.
At 8:06 pm, Christmas Eve, you set your plan in motion.
You slip a remote-controlled micro-dart through the keyhole of the penthouse and steer it from outside until you find your target. The thud five seconds after it makes contact with Oz’s neck tells you it’s all clear.
You’re glad for the enhanced strength from the accident; you’re not small, but Oz still outweighs you. Your powers mean you’re not just dragging him like a sack of soil from the living room into his bedroom.
You prop him up in the cushy, black chair by his desk and get to work. His jacket, tie, and vest come off first. You debate removing his burgundy, silk dress shirt too, but the way it stretches over his belly makes you purr. You leave it be for now.
Next come the pants. The black boxers underneath aren’t a surprise, although you chuckle when you see they’re designer. Your Oz; classy to last stitch.
Your initial plan was to use the rope you brought to tie him up. Then you spot a spool of thick, red ribbon on his dresser. He’s been wrapping presents.
Perfect.
You tie his arms, hand atop elbow, behind him. Secure a loop around either thigh to keep them open, then string those strands back and knot them to his wrists.
He comes-to just as you finish collaring his neck with the red satin, tying it off in a nice, neat bow.
“Finally deemed my bower worthy of a visit, little bird?” He smiles
“You could say that.” You step back. He tries to follow you, reach for you, and notices his predicament.
His face changes instantly and he snarls, “Release me at once.”
You shake your head with a smile.
“One of my men is bound to notice if I don’t give orders for a while. And when they find and untie me I am going to wring your pretty little neck!”
“No, you’re not. For starters, your entire staff has the next two days off” when he blinks, confused, you tilt your head at his phone, “you sit by the window when checking your emails. Or entering your passwords. And I have very good eyesight.”
Oz narrows his eyes, “What do you want?”
“Currently I’m just enjoying the view.” You slide your gaze from his chest to his thighs, with a long pause at his crotch, then back up again.
He squirms, turning his head and trying to tuck in on himself. When the ribbons prevent it, he sucks his stomach in, “You mean you’re enjoying humiliating me.”
“I said what I said, Cobblepot. Speaking of humiliation…” you lift the Cupids Arrow from the windowsill, keeping it a safe distance from your face, “a little bird told me this plant has some very interesting effects.”
Oz freezes, brown eyes wide and pleading, “Please don’t, whatever point you’re making you’ve made it, I’ll give you anything you want, information, money, anything to keep that plant over there.”
You cock your head, “Why should I? I know of at least one woman you’ve tried it on.” venom floods your voice, “how many others did you use it on before her?”
“Only her! I’m not a monster!”
“Debatable overall but at the moment I agree, seeing as you’re rather helpless. I think I prefer you this way.”
You gather pollen into your hand and smear it across his nose and mouth. He’s moaning before your glove even leaves his skin. As you peel off your gloves and set them aside, you watch his cock tent his boxers, the wet spot near-instantaneous.
“Now, what to do…”
“Leave me be, you’ve humiliated me enough-” he moans helplessly as you hook a finger under the collar.
“Really,? You want me to just leave you like this?” You brace your free hand on the back of the chair, graze the other down his chest. You don’t even have to touch his cock through his boxers; just the heat of your palm being close to it makes him buck at the air and whine.
“Aw, Oz, do you like me?”
“No.” He grits his teeth, then groans as you let his cock grind against your hand, “and you have, have no right to address me so informally, ohgod”
You press your hand more firmly against his cock, “Jesus, is this why you kept the plant around? Because you need help getting enough blood heading south to fill this fucking beast out?”
“It wasn’t for me and you know it.”
“Then why do you have it?”
He looks at you, pupils dilated and expression pathetic, “Please don’t make me say it.”
“Fine. I’ll say it for you. You wanted someone to be desperate for you.” You straighten and he pouts at the loss of your touch, “why use an aphrodisiac instead of just asking her? You’ve never had any issues flirting with me.”
“That’s different. We’re enemies, my buxom butcherbird-”
You laugh and he does his best to glare at you.
“Don’t mock me, every turn of phrase is an effort when I’m in this state.” He keeps his eyes defiantly on yours, “I wouldn’t expect you to understand. Some of us need all the help we can get wooing our mates.”
Genuine insecurity flashes across his face. For as frustrated as you are with him, that’s all it takes for your affection to claw its way(temporarily) to the surface.
Your voice softens as you say, “You should really pay less attention to what the tabloids say. Or your ‘co-workers’ for that matter. You have your charms, Oz.” You scritch under his chin and his eyes flutter closed.
“Such sweet torment.” He sighs, keeping his chin tilted up, smiling as the touches continue.
“Here’s how this is going to go. You’re going to tell me what you planned to do with the person you tried to use the plant on. As long as you do, I’ll help relieve you, uh, predicament” you set your hand against his clothed cock “you stop, I stop, we clear?”
“I was never going to harm her!” To his credit, he looks horrified at the thought. But that’s not what you asked.
You pull your hand away, “I also stop if you dodge the question.”
“No!” He gasps, pushing his hips forward, “no please, you must believe me. I wanted to make her feel good. To show her why she should choose me. I, I wanted to kiss her…”
“No one uses a plant like that to get a fucking kiss.” You place your hand back, Oz rutting against it like his life depends on it.
“I, I wanted to take her to bed. To undress her and map her body with my hands, make love to her, hear her beg for my touch, my cock, for me. Bring her pleasure in whatever way she asked until she agreed to be mine, to stay” his next words catch, more sob than anything else, “my dove, ahhn, she’d have been wrapped around my finger as tightly as I am hers.”
“None of that explains why you tried to drug her instead of just asking her. Frankly, you’re far more convincing like this.” You kiss his nose and he shudders happily. When you peck him on the lips, it turns to him inelegantly mouthing at your cheek and jaw as he cums with a groan.
His cock is still hard in your palm as he pants, “Am I convincing enough for you to end this charade?”
“Why should I? I'm enjoying myself. Not to mention if I let you go now you'll be waddling around Gotham with a hard-on that can be seen from space.”
The silk shirt is soaked in sweat. He rests his head against the back of the chair, eyes squeezed shut, “You’re merciless, my songbird.”
You kneel between his thighs, flick the knife from the side of your boot and gingerly slice one leg of the boxers, then the other. Pulling the tatters apart reveals a deliciously thick cock, pre-cum sporadically dripping from the head as Oz mindlessly rolls his hips against the air.
“Gorgeous.” You murmur.
“Don’t patronize me-” He jolts hard enough to move the chair as you flick your tongue over the head of his cock.
“Right, patronizing.” You lick a stripe down to the root, kiss his left ball for the fun of it, “that’s definitely what I’m doing here.” You kiss his inner thigh, certain you’re learning what heaven is like.
“You are amusing yourself by seeing me in a ruined state. And showing a cruelty I did not think you capable of.”
“Oh?” You look up to find his expression painfully crestfallen.
“You’re pretending you want this for what it is. Want me for what I am.”
All the heat and excitement boiling in you hardens in a heartbeat and sinks into your stomach.
“You really thought I’d reject you at dinner.” You set your hand on his belly and feel him inhale, “I thought I had ‘please fuck me’ written in neon above my head…”
He looks at you, and as you watch the gears turn behind those coffee-brown eyes, you grip your mask and say, “Please don’t make me regret this.”
You set the black mask on the rug, Oz staring as you do. He’s still staring, face implacable, when you look up again.
“Is…is this a deal breaker?” You gesture to your suit, “if you don’t want me anymore I get it-”
“No! I mean yes! I mean” Oz shakes his head with a frustrated grunt, “untie me this instant!”
You cross your arms, “So you can throttle me?”
“So I can spend the rest of the night in your arms instead of trussed up like a turkey!”
You grin, “I could untie you. Or…” you trail a fingernail under the ribbon on his left thigh, “you could be patient for me just a liiiitle longer.” You look up through your lashes, “won’t you let me really savor unwrapping my present?”
Oz smiles back, “Why should I?”
You activate the invisible zip on the top of your suit, drawing it down to the base of your cleavage, “Pretty please?”
“My devious little dove, however am I supposed to say no to that?” He rolls his hips more pointedly, “come finish what you started.”
You let a squeal of delight escape up your throat as you dive back in. His cock feels perfect in your mouth, like he was made to fit you. If the weight of him gliding along your tongue is an indicator, it’s going to feel amazing when he finally presses into your cunt.
If your mouth is eager, then your hands are greedy. They grope for every inch of him you can get, play with his balls and grip his thighs like they’re shiny new toys for you and you alone. Oz moans and gasps with every touch. When you pull off his cock to kiss his belly, he whines your name.
When you bite down, he simply squawks. The sound makes you laugh and, to your relief, he laughs too as you rest your cheek on his stomach and look up at him.
“Sensitive, baby?”
“It’s been a, a AH!” he laughs as you pepper his stomach with kisses, one hand on his waist and the other pumping his cock, “a long time since anyone saw under my clothes, let alone touched there.”
“That’s a shame.” You drag a kiss up to his pecs, “there’s so much to love.”
“Darling…” he moans as you lap at one nipple and run your thumb over the other, “oh you’re going to be the death of me.”
“I hope not. Kind of getting attached.” You continue nipping and kissing at his chest as his thrusts into your fist turn frantic, “that’s it, baby, all the way, you can cum, I wanna hear you-”
“Fuck!” He drops his head, resting his lips against your hair as cum spatters up your suit all the way to your chest.
“Such language” you coo.
“You bring it out in me.” He pants, fighting to catch his breath as you straddle his lap.
“If I undo these, will you be a good boy and clean up the mess?”
He nods and you reach around the chair to cut the ribbons. The instant they snap, he embraces you, one hand in your hair while an arm loops around your waist. He kisses playfully down your neck, moves the material of the suit aside with his teeth to kiss and lick the droplets from your skin.
“Ah!” You giggle at the sensation, hold his head with both hands and nuzzle his brow, “Oz. You don’t need that plant, you’re amazINGoh” you smile as he releases your ear from his teeth. When he kisses you, this time you relax into his arms, kissing back with six months worth of pent up affection.
“I asked Ms. Isley for it specifically so I…I knew I had a chance with you. I want you so terribly and I knew that if you gave me a chance I could show you it was worth being close to me.”
“Oz, sweetheart, I wore my sexy underwear that night. I was 100% hoping to fuck you.”
“I see that now.” He takes your hands from his shoulders to hold them, “can you forgive me? I let troublesome thoughts cloud my judgement. I ought to have been brave enough to risk rejection, for your sake.”
You squeeze his hands, “I’m sorry too. I don’t get a lot of chances to be mean in my line of work. Think I got overzealous.”
“I’ll forgive it if you promise to let me bind your pretty wings some evening.”
“Done.” You kiss his nose, then nip the end of it, “never try to drug me again.”
“Done.” He runs his hands hungrily along your sides, “did you really wear lingerie last night?”
“Yep. Black and white lace, bought with you in mind.” His cock presses against your thigh, “that perks you up, hm?”
“My dear, that state re-started ten seconds after I made such a mess of you. And it will no doubt continue for some time.”
You rest a hand to his forehead, “Jesus, Oz, you’re burning up. How long does the pollen last?”
“Twelve hours.” He growls, scooping you into a bridal carry as he stands.
“You were planning to fuck me for twelve hours last night??”
“Yes. With mechanical assistance if necessary. I’m not one to arouse a ladies desire and then leave her wanting. No matter the length of the task.” He lays you down on the bed, “are you going to be good and grant me the same attention?”
You fully unzip your top and toss it aside, then start on your boots and pants. He takes that for the assent it is, pulling his shirt free and dropping it in a hamper. When he reaches for the ribbon around his neck, you shake your head.
“I like it on you. It’s cute.”
The blush on his face deepens. He hovers by the edge of the bed, “Do we need anything to, ah, prevent an unexpected visit from the stork?”
“No. The incident that turned me into the Shrike gave me a fucking chemical hysterectomy in the process.” You rest your head on the pillows and spread your legs, “all the same, you should come over here and let your mate take care of you. Since you brought her to such a nice nest.”
He climbs on the bed only to hesitate again, “Are you sure about this position? I don’t want to crush you.”
“Trust me, I can handle it.” You flash him a smile, “I like my men big. And if I didn’t want to see you naked, I wouldn’t have undressed for you. Now come here and do what you’ve clearly been imagining doing for months.”
Oz is on you with a playful growl. He hurriedly presses his cock into you and you moan.
“My, my, you really were enjoying having me at your mercy. You’re beautifully wet.”
“Uhmhm” you hook your legs around his, “Oz.”
“Right here, my darling.” He shifts so you're face to face, kissing his way down one cheek.
You hook your finger under the ribbon and tug him into a proper kiss.
“Mm, just what every girl wants under the tree. A handsome, charming man all for her.”
He coos bashfully and you kiss him again. His thrusts are hard, almost demanding, but his pace is slow and his words are sweet.
“My gorgeous, gorgeous girl.” He gives a sharper thrust and you moan in reply. Oz braces on one arm so he can use his other hand to play with your tits.
“You've a rapturous form my dear, my angel” he squeezes the left side possessively, “I cannot wait to dress it in silk and fur.”
“Not feathers?” You tease, pushing his dark hair from his forehead.
“We shall see. Currently” his hips speed up, “I don’t want to see you in a scrap of clothing until new years.”
“Gonna keep me warm in the meantime?”
“My dove, you’ll be lucky if I move from inside you, let alone atop you.”
“Perfect. Oh, oh” you buck your hips against him, “Oz, right there” the shape of him means your clit rubs against his body as he fucks you, and you feel your orgasm tightening your muscles.
“That’s it my darling.” His hand moves from your chest to your hip, pinning you so all you can do is take him as deep and hard as he pleases, “that’s it, take everything I give, take all of me, oh, ohgod” his hips speed up and you yelp, “such lovely cries, do you think you’ll still have a voice by morning?”
You whimper, shaking your head, and only manage to gasp his name before your orgasm tears through you. Oz hooks one arm under your lower back and the other beneath your arm to grip your shoulder, fucks into you so roughly you kick at the sheets as you moan. When he cums he buries his face into your neck, panting your name as he spills into you.
“Jesus.” You hold him, stroking his back fondly, “fuck, Oz, you’re amazing. You’re so hot and amazing.” You laugh, “and apparently you fucked the rest of my vocabulary out of me.”
He chuckles, raising his head to kiss you sweetly. You have to tense the smallest bit to notice he’s still hard.
“Shall we see what I can accomplish after another round?”
A bell somewhere in Gotham informs you it’s now ten on Christmas morning. You lift your head from Oz’s chest to confirm, then nestle right back down in his arms.
“You’ve presents, you know” he points an elbow in the direction of the living room.
“Dang it. I left mine for you at my place. I can-”
Oz hugs you to him, smiling up at you like you’re a miracle, “Later, my dove. Right now I have exactly what I wished for.”
Tumblr, I find the lack of Samuel Sterns / Leader posts disturbing. Where are my monsterfuckers at? Also I wanna talk about how they treated my man, I feel like there is an injustice on the character.
I'm gonna rant with spoilers below so if you haven't seen the film and care about spoilers I suggest waiting until you seen it to read my post.
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1. The way they’re handling him is so frustrating because the writing feels inconsistent—especially compared to how Sam Wilson treats other morally complex characters.
Ross went great lengths to control Sterns and Banner and yet, he’s given nuance, justification, and respect in the story.
Meanwhile, Sterns was imprisoned for 16 years at a government black site, lied to by Ross who told him he would be free once he became President. But despite having reasonable motivations for doing what he did, he's not afforded grace or nuance.
Where is the same level of depth? Why does Ross, who actively created the conditions for Sterns' suffering, get more understanding than Sterns himself? Ross even got to talk to Betty again, who was estranged for years because of his actions against Bruce.
2. Sam is all about understanding people’s perspectives, right? He advocates for Isaiah Bradley, who also was unjustly imprisoned by the U.S. government. Sam helps Bucky overcome years of brainwashing and guilt from being an assassin. Even with Thunderbolt Ross, he believed Ross can change for the better.
But for some reason, Sam doesn’t even try to acknowledge Sterns’ suffering? How is Sterns any worst than Bucky or Isaiah?
3. Sterns' potential as a morally complex character is absolutely wasted in this movie. There was no healing, so resolving. He's a guy that moved from one prison to another. They could've made him a reluctant villain, who only wanted to make Ross pay for causing his suffering.
I know a lot of people hate that he's not comic accurate in appearance (I didn't mind it, I thought it looked awesome). You'd think after 16 years they would've fleshed out his character a bit more.
So, I want to try and post some things about Bubble's Plague Doctor.
I think the movie wasn't perfect but definitely had his moments and international fandom senselessly slept on it.
I believe Plague Doctor is a deliciously strong comic run.
I also think that, if more people knew about Sergey, Serovolk, Bird etc, they would be charmed.
So. A post to promote it.
Do you like morally grey (anti) villains? And I mean the "Yes, they definitely killed a lot of people"?
Do you want to buy "Bad queer representation" T-shirt for your faves? Do you think "be gay, di crime" is a brilliant phrase to base a comic plot?
Are you a villain fucker? Do you think your poor meow meow should get lots of victories, his sexy queer love interest, an interesting plot and stylish wardrobe?
Do you love mentally ill villains? Who maybe don't always lose? Who sometimes fucking win?
Are you a monsterfucker? Do terrifying yet sexy creatures excite you?
Do you support gay anti villains being gay, in love and together?
If so, I believe you belong to the demography who would like Plague Doctor, a superhero Russian movie and comic book.
Do you want to watch the movie? Just look for Major Grom: Plague Doctor on Netflix
Do you want to read the comic? Good news, you can find the first arc, Major Grom Plague Doctor, for free! Yes that arc is a mess but you can use it to appreciate how much it gets better with metamorphosis and the game!
So. Give Russian comic book and movie a chance, maybe?
