#vinny.b

[thejoaquinjavier]

[Lounges back on his sofa, looking at Vinny under his eyelashes. Half shyly, he sighs before tilting his head upward.]

So what did you think about what I did at the Emmy's the other day...

[thejoaquinjavier]

dear journal || a journal entry

Dear Journal,

I royally fucked up. Like SUPER ROYALLY fucked up.

Remember how I was doing shit with Andreas? And how I was basically using him and didn't let my conscious stop me from doing it?

Well last night he told me he had feelings for me. Genuine feelings. Like when I fucked him, he thought we were making love, but I was just... I just needed to let my frustration go. It felt so good, but not because I had feelings for him.

He's such a sweet guy, Journal. But he's not for me. I led him on and enabled his weird cuddles and never told him how I really felt about it all. 

He looked so broken. So, so broken. I'm fucking trash.

But the worst part is...while I'm feeling like shit about everything I did to him, I'm even more scared that he's going to out me to the media.

I can't deal with that. I'm not ready. My parents will literally kill me. People will laugh or hate me. And normally I wouldn't care, but I would about this. God, I've always felt like I could never really be me. And this is part of who I am. And if I show that and people start to despise me for it... I don't know how I'll take it.

I tried to go to his house today. To apologize (probably not because I'm a FUCKING COWARD). To fix everything. But he had left to Italy. His parents looked at me like I was an alien so I just left.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. AND FUCKING PAULO CALLED ME LAST NIGHT AND shit. I'm going to break down. I don't know how long I can last anymore. 

I give myself 2 weeks. 2 weeks before I break down like a fucking baby and go to Brandon and cry my eyes out because I'm weak and I can't do anything that requires an ounce of bravery. 

God knows how I'm gonna tell Vinny I have feelings for him but that's another story for another long ass day of me feeling sorry for myself.

-Joaquin

[frenchfrankie]

@princessfrankie: @vincebristol HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BIG BROTHER!!

@princessfrankie: I have your present all ready to go. Can't wait to see you at the party! @vincebristol

[thejoaquinjavier]

@thejoaquinjavier: just realized @vincebristol birthday is a day after obama's

@thejoaquinjavier: coincidence? i think not

[thejoaquinjavier]

Opinion on Vinny

Vinny Bristol… How do I begin to explain Vinny Bristol? Vinny Bristol is flawless. ((Obviously. If not, we wouldn’t be married.))I hear his hair’s insured for $10,000. I hear he does weird mock presidential commercials… in the US. ((I mean, he’s only 17?))His favorite movie is probably one that I’ve been in. ((He’s a very supporting husband.))One time he met me at my house… And I told him really horrible puns. One time he sent me silly selfies… it was awesome.

ooc; haha nice try bitches but he ain’t playin yo games

[thejoaquinjavier]

iMessage → Mr. President ❤

J: So I met Frankie, I think her name is.

J: She is so much like you it's crazy?????

[frenchfrankie]

iMessage → Long Lost Brother ❤

F: I miss you!~

F: I hope you got that last voicemail I sent. It was kinda long.

F: Also, I'm incredibly sorry if I'm annoying you. I know you're not actually obliged to deal with me until the results come back.

[thejoaquinjavier]

Phone Call || Vinny & Joaquin

J: [listens to the phone ring, sighing dramatically until Vinny picks up]

J: Hey. Just giving you a fair warning, a picture was just leaked of me and I'm fuming right now.