Let’s Break it Down: Texting
DISCLAIMER: My word ain’t gospel, I’m just an honest man looking for a better-thinking and honest world. I have researched various methods of communication and these are just a collaboration of informal findings. Take my word with a grain of salt if you disagree and feel free to rebut anything here, I’m not infallible (yet).
Texting is an interesting form of communication, and like any other form of communication there are underlying features that can tell you a lot about the mental state/intent/honesty of a person.
Now I’m gonna get flack for this because it is well understood that there are things that are difficult to discern from a text message. Such as, tone, intent, etc. However there are enough general habits that have been formed since this form of communication first became popular with IMs for you to infer certain things from texts. Let’s talk patterns. now it takes a long time to discern someone else’s speech pattern (accurately) but given enough time you can get a good platform to work from. How do they say “Good Morning” or “Good Night” or if they use other phrases to substitute for that like: “What’s up”, “Sup”, “Morning :)”, or if you’re a dudebro: “ Sup Babe”, “Morning Sexy ;P Can I get a pic” (I’m kidding guys). The point is that everyone has a pattern and over time that pattern will become apparent. Now this is steep stuff we're talking about here so nothing can be excluded, remember that. You need to pay attention to their use of emojis, their vocabulary and if it peaks when they’re angry, how they express everything from being horny to being hungry.
If you’re going to do this you will need to pay attention to every, single, thing. There are of course, some safe and sweeping generalizations, the “ILY2″ versus “I love you too/more” meaning their level of interest likely doesn't match yours (unless this is typical of their pattern), the “sigh...” expressing a state of distress, the “make me ;)” being flirtatious and so on. There are literally loads of such things and we’ve come to understand their meaning as this form of communication has become more popular.
You can infer a lot from what they don’t say as well, but this is risky!! Take for instance, myself, if I’m not horrendously upset with you (I only have two modes: I love you to pieces or die in a fire) I’m likely to shorten the conversation as much as possible. For example, there was a woman I wanted to be my girlfriend and when I’m courting someone I make it a clear point that I am open and honest, as such my texts often come as complete thoughts and leave little to question. If she asked where I am/going I would say: “I’m in west Philly going to my Gm’s”, or “I’m out with the guys we’re heading to the movies”. Now, I was talking to this young lady for a period of 4 years, safe to say (even if it’s just subconsciously) she knows my vocal pattern, right? So if she said, “Where ya at sugar tits?” and I replied: “Out.”, would it be safe to assume I was hiding something? Well, yes. Logically, this is too far outside of my vocal pattern for my mental state to be normal. NOW COMES THE FUN PART. Although she would be logically able to discern that something is amiss, what she would be wrong to do is to assume I was hiding my location. I could be hiding anything, maybe I’m out with an old flame and I’m seeing if there is anything still there (doubt it, this woman was all I needed in life). Maybe I’m upset with her and I’m trying to end our conversations as quickly as possible, it could be anything. However, there is a huge giveaway, the period at the end of the word. Text messages, IM’s and the like are informal, nobody is texting you in MLA format, size 13 font, doubles spaced, unless they are not very good at/ are new to sending texty texts. In this form of communication among those more experienced a period takes on it’s meaning of making a statement. Akin to an exclamation mark, however much more solemn. Closer to “period, dot, the end.” sort of thing. From this, she could make the logical guess that I’m mad at her or something of the sort and that would be steeped in more evidence.
To wrap it up, pay attention, you’ve got quite an amazing piece of technology between your ears and you should use it to pay attention to every facet of the world around you. Some things to note:
ESTABLISH A BASELINE: Do not text someone for two weeks and think you know how they speak, you don’t, it takes longer.
OMIT NOTHING: There is no part of their vocal pattern that is not important, stay focused.
KNOWING A PERSONS VOCAL PATTERN IS NOT LISCENCE TO BE A DICK: Read it, then read it again.
Some quick myths about texting:
I WAS BUSY: Logically inconsistent, in general the time to send one line of a message is <= the time it takes at acquire phone, open phone, go to messaging app, go to conversation. If you texted someone you likely had ample time to text them more than one word.
I WAS DISTRACTED/ I CAN’T MULTITASK: False, in our fast paced lifestyle the only people who probably cannot multitask still have the nokia brick phones. You can actually learn a lot about someone’s priorities from this statement (in some cases).
I’M SORRY I WAS CAUGHT UP: The myth here is that people believe this is a myth, it’s only steeped in partial truth. Usually people that go to lengths to type this entire thought are not being deceitful, but it is case by case as they could be omitting something. Don’t assume, look at it logically.
I DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO TEXT BACK: False, unless they are in a position that is physically involving or they are prohibited from using their phone, people generally use their phone. Why do you think app development is such a booming prospect, people are always tied to their phone (generally, there are few exceptions). It can be assumed that people are generally on/checking their phone periodically, it can be assumed that if they didn’t text back, the odds are that they did not want to barring any sort of prohibitive measure.
That’s all I’ve got for you today. Remember people, knowing this is half of the battle, when/when not to apply the knowledge is the difference between taking nobody’s bullshit and being an overall phallic object. Research thoroughly don’t just jump to conclusions. That being said, often times people will try to make you distrust your own ability with dismissive statements like: “ You don’t know everything” etc etc, trust yourself once you’ve researched long and hard. In the book Telling Lies By Dr. Paul Ekman he references the way a liar may try to escape being caught by causing the interrogator to distrust their own self (not that you should look at yourself as an interrogator, nor the other person a liar, unless they are, which statistically - nvm), trust yourself. Now go on and start losing friends and family because you stopped taking other people’s bullshit ^_^
