Childhood abused (Felix Volturi x reader)
1. I am an italian girl, please forgive me eventually grammar mistake. I'll do my best.
2. Strong and delicate arguments
I am Julie and my mate is Felix volturi.
When i was six years old i was abused by my neighbour and i am so afraid to tell this to Felix. I am here with him and his clan from six months. He tells me every day that he loves me so much, and i understand that he'd like... "demostrate me his love", likes he told me last evening. But i am so freaking scared at the only idea of... well... sex. He doesn't know about this history from my past and i don't want tell him now. I can't... and if he laughs at me? And if he judge me because i didn't do that thing before?
This morning Aro went to me, and he told me he want talking to me. He kwen all...ALL. And ... oh my... i couldn't talk to Aro about it. I were... i am ...
I did not tell this thing to anyone before, only my parents knows... Aro was very gentle. Adviced me to trying to talk with Felix about this horrible experience. I wished asked Aro to tell him instead me, but i thought i could be passed for a coward.
I decided to wrote a letter for Felix. I was so scared that maybe he could try again his intention... I am not afraid of Felix. I am afraid of sex. I am disgusted. It was a terrible experience for me and i don't want feel hands on my body...
Maybe he will angry with me? Maybe he will tell me that i should tell him talking eyes on eyes? But i am so afraid to have his eyes stared at me... and i'm crying while i am writing him, i can't see anything.
I left my demaged letter to Gianna, tell her to give the letter to Felix, and locked myself in bathroom.
I am so scared. I don't like feel so vulnerable, and this... make me feel vulnerable. Talking make me feel vulnerable. And uncomfortable. So much uncomfortable.
It was all my fault.... why i didn't noticed it was a bad thing? How i didn't noticed?
Some knocks at the door makes me jump.
"Julie..." the voice of Felix makes my heart starting run in my chest. And now?
I am trembling and crying. AND NOW?!
"Julie... Julie ... Can you open the door?" He asks me, i can feeling and hearing his pain in his voice. And in myself too.
"Honey, Julie... i am so sorry. I am so sorry about all of this i can't imagine it. Please open ... " he repeats.
I opened him. And i am so scared of his reaction that i am so pale. And trembling and crying. He hugs me. He hugs me so strong.
"I promise you that you are safe now. I am here for you because i love you. I love you so much, and i understand that you were so scared to tell me this... but i am here. For you. Only for you. Talk to me... talk to me, my love" he tells me, and i am starting a liberation cry.