#vulnerable thoughts

[li-nox]

Are we friends?

Not to offend: But are we actual friends?

Or am I just holding on to a fleeting idea to not feel even lonelier?

[justsimplypretty]

vulnerable thoughts

been feeling a lot of anxiety today about the new year and what it will bring. so i just wanted to pop in and say that if you’re someone who wants nothing more than for 2020 to be the year you’ve been waiting for filled with happiness and opportunity, but are still nervous and fearful walking into the unknown... you’re not alone in that.

2019 was my toughest year yet and it’s scary going into a new year after everything i endured during this one, but i’m still doing my best to believe in the power of fresh starts and all the good possibly waiting for me in this new beginning. i hope you too find it in yourself to believe in the same because you deserve nothing less. we’re on this journey together and we’re going to be okay. i love you. 🖤

[nosanitylol]

un/kindled

It’s crazy to me how we can crave an old connection or bond of something from our past, even after going through so much manipulation and abuse- is it the comfort? The bond and match of energy? The friendship? It makes me wonder; am I too loyal? Do I love too hard even when I shouldn’t anymore? Do I not love myself enough? Part of letting go is accepting that something no longer serves you and knowing you deserve better. I believe I understand this, but for some reason it still doesn’t feel the way it’s supposed to, or atleast the way I want it to. Maybe I am blinded by the potential, or the “what if” scenarios. But no matter what, even with closure and after all this time, it still feels like something is missing. You shouldn’t have such a strong presence in my identity, but you do. Maybe it’s because I have learned so much from our experience together and it molded me into the woman I am today. Although I am grateful for all the blessings and lessons you have taught me, I still have an unnatural time accepting that that’s all I really can be. Just grateful. I don’t want it to be the end. Not even in a romantic, imtimate way. But as a person in my life, in my future, in general. That’s the shitty part about diving so deep into someone, for such an extended period of time, at such a tender age. I will probably love again with someone different at some point, but it will not be the same kind of love. Maybe it will be stronger, maybe it won’t be so intense, but our experience has definitely set the bar high and I can only hope the same for you. I hope you get treated the way you deserve emotionally and mentally by someone who makes you want to provide the same energy, a love that’s unmatched and desirable. Throughout all the ups and downs, difficulty and turmoils, I will always care about you immensely. I will always want the best for you. I will always pray for you. My spirit will always be with you. And I will always love you.

[thewebgirl]

See The thing with me is I'll become obsessed Enchanted Immersed in the fixation of you Until I'm not. And then I become disinterested Bored And the indifference that lives Within the space between us Can leave you feeling Possessed.

[sunkenteethfawn]

tonight, can you please, take me as i am. true and vulnerable. beautiful under the dim light. sorrowful and broken with a slight touch. if i offer you something shattered, dont look away from them.

i will take you as you are, tonight. fearful and staggering like a rabbit in the eyes of a hunter. cold and broken, like that one particular treasure in your room that you never had a heart to get rid off. when you offer me your scars and bruises, i would hold them close to my cheek and listen to the sound of their breathing. i wont turn my face away from you.

can, i be more honest with you? and my truth will be delivered like a morning breeze, nobody fights the sun ray that escapes through the window.

if i say, can i rest in your arms? would you make a space in your bed for my beasts? or do i have to apologize first for blindly daring confessing my thirst for soul-merging closeness?

[li-nox]

There are days I feel like a fraud because even to me it still feels weird sometimes to use gender-inclusive language