#wanna keep going

[nighttimescribbles]

six more pageeesssss

i wish things encoded and edited themselves

[officialaegontargaryen]

well i wrote six paragraphs. and that’s more than i’ve written in a year. but, ya gotta start somewhere. right??? 

[xo-forever-a-shining-star-xo]

Just trying to keep the good days flowing.

[neverending-city-lights]

Checklist?

I don’t KNOW if we can get through it. Check

I don’t KNOW if our relationship is fundamentally screwed up. It's not. So Check.

I don’t know if we’ll ever find something in common. Still not sure...

I don’t know if we’ll last. Still not sure...

I don’t know when’s the next time I look at you, and just smile… Check.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to say, “I love you too,” without feeling a slight pain on the inside… Not because it’s not true, but because I think of you cheating on me and I wonder if it’s wrong that I still love you. Check.

I don’t know when I’ll stop having dreams of you making out with other people. Check.

I don’t know when I’ll go a day without thinking about it. I still don't know when...

I don’t know when I’ll be able to see Steven and NOT want to kick his face in…. I still don't know when...

I don’t know when you’ll STOP pushing me the FUCK away when you’re not okay. You're getting better. So half-check.

I don’t know when you’ll stop lying to me that you’re fine…. Slightly better. Half-check

I don’t know when you’ll let me in. And see that yes, I do understand you. Check.

I don’t know when you’ll realize I truly do understand you, because I’ve gone through it before….Check (I hope)

I don’t know when you’ll realize I’m fucking HERE for you…. Check (I hope)

I don’t know when you’ll see that I can see the pain in YOUR eyes, even when you smile or try to hide it. Check (I hope)

I don’t know when you’ll understand that I DO love you. Stupid. This better be a Check.

I don’t know when you’ll believe me… Also better be a Check.

And I don’t know if you’ll leave or not…. Check

And the sad part is, I don’t know if I want you to leave or stay…. I wanted you to stay. And you are. Check.

And I don’t know when it’s going to get easier. Still don't.

I don’t know when the emotional roller coaster is going to end. Still don't

I do know I love you……Still a Check

But I don’t know if loving you will hurt me worse in the end…. Eh. We'll see.