Synopsis: A day in the life of Chef Shane Madej, owner of W restaurant in Los Angeles. Today he has to train the new employee, Ryan Bergara, and if possible not bone him.
***
7 AM
Shane folds out of his car, his joints cracking like popcorn louder than the chorus of birdsong up in the trees lining the street. He takes a sip of just-this-side-of-too-hot coffee and runs a hand through his scruffy beard.Â
Itâs too early.Â
Heâs running on four hours of sleep, two sips of coffee and three cigarettes. Any sane person would rather be in bed right now.Â
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summary:Â Steven gets lost at VidCon and he doesn't handle crowds very well.
rating: teen and up
word count: 2364
tw: anxiety, panic attacks
read it on ao3
VidCon was crowded. Like, really crowded. Thousands of people went to the event, so it wasn't a surprise, but that didnât make it any easier to deal with. Steven, Shane, and Ryan were weaving through the crowd to get to a panel for Watcher when they got separated. Steven was looking at something as they turned a corner and when he looked back, they were gone.Â
Immediately a feeling of dread pooled in his stomach and he began scanning the sea of people for his friends. You'd expect him to spot Shane pretty quickly considering his height, but there was a shocking amount of tall people around him. He eventually spotted him and began to make his way over to him. Fidgeting with the hem of his jacket, he tried to keep Shane within his sight, but he still had to watch where he was going.Â
âShane!â he called out when he was only a few feet away from him. âThank God I found you.â Shane turned around and- wait a minute, thatâs not Shane! Not-Shane tilted his head in a confused gesture and Steven flinched backward, nearly bumping into the person behind him. âOh! Iâm so sorry, I-I thought you were someone else,â he frantically apologized.
âItâs fine, man,â Not-Shane assured with a friendly smile. âIt happens to the best of us. Good luck finding your friend.â
âY-yeah, thanks.â Steven waved awkwardly before turning away from him.
Staring wide-eyed into the sea of people around him, Steven suddenly got hit with the reality of his situation. He was alone in a huge crowd and he had to be at a panel with the two people he lost track of in the next fifteen minutes. He tightened his grip on the edge of his jacket and he could tell he was beginning to lose himself. His heart pounded in his chest, his breath began to quicken, and he suddenly had to leave. He didnât know where to, he just couldnât be where he was. So he looked. Instead of looking for a familiar face, he looked for a place to hide.Â
He spotted a pillar a few feet away from the wall and made a beeline for it. As soon as he got there, he slid to the floor behind it. He took a moment just to calm down but, realizing that it wouldnât work, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and managed to call Ryan with shaky hands as tears began to pool in his eyes.
âWeâll never find him in here! Itâs like a, uhhâŚâ
âA convention that thousands of people attend every year?â
âYes. Thank you, Ryan, that was brilliant.â
âI try.â
Shane chuckled as he continued to scan the crowd for Steven. The problem with trying to find someone with dyed hair at VidCon was that at a convention like that, a lot of people have dyed hair, so they wonât stand out as easily.
After a few moments of searching, Ryanâs ringtone went off. âItâs Steven!â Shane perked up and turned his attention toward Ryan.
âSteven!â he said after picking up. âWhereâd you go, man? We just turned around and you were gone.â
âIâm sorry,â Steven spoke barely above a whisper.
Immediately concerned, Ryanâs brows furrowed and he looked at Shane with a worried look as if to say somethingâs wrong. âAre you ok? You donât sound so good.â
âUh, no⌠Iâm, uh, Iâm not doing great.â
Ryan winced at the crack in Stevenâs voice. It broke his heart to hear the optimist of the group so shaken up. It was such a drastic change from his usual voice, which was put together and calm; even a bit too loud sometimes. Now, though, it was unsteady, strained, and quiet. He sounded like he was crying.
"StevenâŚ" Ryan began. Steven had told him about his anxiety before, he'd even been with him through a panic attack before, so he had a pretty good guess as to what happened considering the circumstances last time he heard Steven like this. "Did you have a panic attack?"
"I-I think soâŚ"
Ryan could tell Shane knew Steven's answer, likely from Ryan's reaction, because his face quickly changed from confused to sympathetic and worried.Â
Ryan sighed before continuing, "Alright, um, where are you right now? Shane and I can come find you."
"I'm, ah⌠it's kind of embarrassing, but I'm sitting behind one of the pillars by the wall. A little past where I lost youâŚ"
"Alright, we'll be right there. Just hang in there, buddy."
"Thank youâŚ"
âDo you want me to stay on the phone with you?â
âNo, no Iâll be ok, itâs fine.â
âAlright then. Weâll see you in a minute.â
Steven mumbled a small, âOk,â that was barely audible over the voices around them before hanging up.
âWhat happened?â Shane asked as Ryan slid his phone into his back pocket.
Ryan motioned for Shane to follow him and explained as they weaved through the crowd, âSteven, uh, he ended up having a panic attack after he lost us. He didnât tell me too much, but heâs sitting behind one of the pillars by the wall right now.â
âShit. Is he okay?â
âI donât know. He didnât sound goodâŚâ
"Has this happened before?"
"A few times, yeah, but it hasn't happened in so long. He thought he'd be fine."
"But then we lost himâŚ"
"RightâŚ"
Their voices faded out after that and they focused on finding Steven. They had checked three or four of the pillars by the time they found him, the state he was in making them almost want to cry. Steven had his knees hugged up to his chest, his eyes were pressed tightly closed, and tear streaks were visible on his cheeks. Shane and Ryan carefully sat in front of him. âSteven, hey,â Ryan said in a soft voice before gently placing a hand on his arm.Â
Steven moved one of his hands over Ryan's in acknowledgment and he opened his eyes. He looked back and forth between Shane and Ryan, his face heating up from embarrassment.
"What's going on, man? Is there anything we can do to help?"
Not trusting his voice, Steven reached up to point at his ear, then put his hand back over Ryan's.
"Ah, I get it. Shane, do you have earbuds?"
Shane, who was previously just sitting there awkwardly, perked up. "Yeah. Yeah, I do," he said while pulling a pair of earbuds out of his pocket and handing them to Ryan, who seemed like he knew what he was doing a lot more than Shane.Â
âHere you go, bud,â Ryan said, holding out the earbuds to Steven, who quickly grabbed them and put them on. He immediately felt better, relaxing and moving his legs into a criss-cross position. He turned his attention to Shane, who still looked worried as hell. âThanks,â he said, fidgeting with the cord.
âYeah, of course,â he replied. âAre you ok? Is there anything else we can do?â
âUm, yeah, but itâs kind of embarrassing.â
âWell, it canât be that bad.â
âAlright, I guess. Can I, uh, can I have a hug?â
âOf course! You donât even have to ask. Well, I guess you do. It would be kinda weird if you just randomly hugged me, though I donât think Iâd be that bothered-â
âShut up and hug me, you tree.â
Shane chuckled. âAlright, Steven.â
He shuffled toward Steven until he could lean against the pillar next to him and pulled him into a hug. Steven immediately melted into it, leaning against him, wrapping his arms around his torso, and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Shane rested his cheek on the top of Stevenâs head and held him close.Â
He didn't know whether it was the genuine concern from Shane and Ryan or just finally feeling comforted, but Steven suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion and before he knew it, he was crying into Shane's shoulder. He was kept sane by a hand soothingly rubbing his back and another playing with his hair.
All of a sudden, Steven felt a third hand on his leg. Startled, he flinched, pulling his leg towards himself. "Ah, sorryâŚ" Ryan said in a slightly disappointed tone.Â
Steven, no longer crying, lifted his head to look at Ryan. "No, no it's fine. You just startled me. Come here," he said, holding his hand out for Ryan.Â
Ryan gave him a soft smile, gently grabbed Steven's hand, and scooted closer. He leaned against Shane's side and held Steven's hand like it was the most precious thing in the world.
"You doing better, Steven?" Shane asked in the soothing voice that Steven loved so much.
Steven rested his head on Shane's shoulder and nodded, smiling. "Much better," he said quietly, his voice nearly drowned out by the sounds of the convention. "Hey," he added. "Can I confess something?"Â
"Yeah, what's up?" Ryan asked, curious.
Steven buried his face in Shane's shirt, embarrassed. "I, uh⌠I love you two. More than anything," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "More than friends," he added quietly.
Ryan and Shane looked at each other in shock. They were speechless. They'd never talked about it, but for months they both knew the other was in love with Steven. They even liked each other more than friends.
Steven looked up at them and, seeing their shocked expressions, pulled his hand away from Ryan, slipped out of Shane's embrace, and pushed himself away from them. "I-I'm sorry. That was stupid, I shouldn't have said that. Please, just forget I said anything," Steven said frantically, his face turning red and holding his hands up in front of himself in defense.
"Steven, hold on," Shane said, moving to hold Stevenâs hands in his own. âItâs ok, Steven.â
âYeah!â Ryan adds. âItâs more than ok! I believe I speak for both of us when I say that weâre glad you said that.â
âWe were both too scared to tell you that we liked you. We thought we were going to ruin the company we just started.â
Stevenâs eyes darted between the two of them, then to his hands being gently held between Shaneâs and it was his turn to be speechless. âBoth of you?â he asked after a few seconds.
Shane and Ryan chuckled while the latter said, âYes, Steven, both of us.â
âAnd the two of you? I mean, I donât want to force you into a relationship with each other if you donât⌠you know.â
Shane leaned toward Steven like he was about to tell him a secret and turned his head to look at Ryan, âWell⌠I donât know about you, but I definitely wouldnât mind dating Ryan.â
âOh yeah?â Steven asked with a grin, leaning closer to Shane as Ryan giggled in amusement. âI think Iâd have to say the same.â
Shane turned his head and suddenly he was inches away from Stevenâs face. âCan I kiss you?â
Steven nodded a bit more eagerly than he had intended and before he knew it, Shane was leaning forward and pressing his lips to Stevenâs. The kiss was brief but gentle and filled with love. As soon as they parted, Steven could feel some of Shaneâs chapstick on his lips. He chuckled, âI forgot about your chapstick. It feels weird.â
Ryan scooted closer as Shane laughed. âLemme get some of that,â he said before sitting up to kiss Shane. âOh, youâre right! I kinda like it.â
âWell then maybe you should start using it,â Shane suggested with a grin.
âWhy would I do that when I can just kiss you?â
âFair point.â
Steven chuckled, gaining Ryanâs attention. âI didnât forget about you, Stevie, donât worry,â Ryan assured him, leaning towards him. He slid a hand behind Stevenâs head and pulled him in for a kiss. It was less gentle and more heated than Shaneâs, but it was driven by love all the same. Once they broke the kiss and Ryanâs hand slid down from Stevenâs head to his chest, Steven finally asked the question theyâd all been thinking, âDoes this mean weâre boyfriends now?â
Shane and Ryan laughed. âYeah, I think it does,â the latter answered. âShane?â
âYeah. Iâll agree with that. Now the real question is: Can we tell people at the panel or do we keep it a secret for now?â
âIâd say,â Steven started, âthat we donât try to hide it and if someone asks about us being more affectionate than usual, weâll announce it. If no one asks, though, I donât think thereâs a point in making a big deal out of it.â
âSounds good to me,â Shane agreed.
âSee, this is why youâre the smart one,â Ryan added. He checked his phone and immediately freaked out. âOh shit, weâre supposed to be at the panel right now! Get up!â When they all stood up to leave, Ryan grabbed both of their hands and started speed walking with them to the room that the panel was being held at. âI canât believe we lost track of time like that,â Steven said as they walked.
âI canât believe itâs been fifteen minutes since we lost you,â Shane replied.
âTime flies when youâre confessing your undying love to someone,â added Ryan, chuckling.
âI donât think that was it, but believe what you want to believe, Bergara.â
Ryan and Steven laughed as they slowed to a stop in front of a door. âWeâre here,â the former announced. âYou two ready? Steven? Are you sure youâre ok to go in there?â
âYeah, I think so,â Steven nodded. âCan you both hold my hands though? Just to make sure I donât forget that youâre both there for me.â
âOf course! Come here,â Shane assured him. They moved so that Steven stood in the middle, then opened the door and stepped inside. Hearing the crowdâs cheers and the comforting feeling of his hands being held by the two men he loved, Steven knew everything was going to be ok. No matter what happened, he would always have Shane and Ryan loving him and supporting him through everything. He would be happy. And that was more comforting than anything.
what happens when you do the estes method in a "haunted" house and the "ghosts" are trying to make you spill out all your carefully-hidden feelings and make you kiss your co-host?
it's a bad idea (probably)
***
If heâs honest with himself â and he rarely is â Shane would say he thought something would have happened with Ryan back when he had his big break-up. Ryan was spending all his time at Shane and Saraâs, back then, watching movies and eating their popcorn and crashing on their couch. Sara would cuddle him â her brand of emotional support has always included a lot of physical touch â and Shane would join in if theyâd had a couple beers, and sometimes, sometimesâŚ
Ryan Bergaraâs main personality trait is that if he sees a big red button labeled DO NOT PUSH, he will push it.
The trouble is, Shane himself has been a big red do not push button lately.
written for the Butt-Dials For Valentine Event over at @thehauntedinfirmary
Trying to find a rare-pair Shane/Andrew fic. There is a work party that Shane declines an invite to and so does Andrew. They decide to go get a quiet drink instead, but they end up drinking at Andrewâs instead of a bar. They drink wine and listen to an opera record and basically speak in code about their respective unrequited crushes on their co-hosts. Andrew (who has been giving off very high class courtesan vibes) invites Shane to shower with him and they get intimate. Thanks for the help!
oh bless you for reminding me of this fic, it's simply incredible!
il n'a rien dit mais il me plaĂŽt | sessrumnir / @beaniegara | explicit | 5k | It's late, Shane is tired, and he wants a drink. Andrew happens to offer just that. A pleasant surprise, in many ways.
(and while i'm at it, psa that y'all can always ask if you want me to find a rare pair fic, i'm happy to provide a similar service to @skepticbeliever-bookclub)
Between sipping his hot chocolate, munching on popcorn, the hand in his hair, the warmth of the sweater, and the movie he was only half paying attention to, Shane felt cared for in the deepest of ways.
reward for @killerqueeenbee for a sweater does not a mouse make (but it comes close) their fill for our Valentineâs Day Challenge
@sequencefairy tagged me to do six sentence Sunday even though itâs not Sunday so here goes
(This is where I despair a little that the whole handwritten page I got so far for this WIP is only 5 sentences 𼲠so letâs do 3 sentences of this one and 3 sentences of my first foray into a new fandom because apparently Iâm a kalluzeb bitch now)
steshyan Star Wars au:
For as long as he can remember, Ryan had dreamed of becoming a Jedi. Heâs dreamed of making the galaxy a better place, a place where no one has to cover in fear and do the bidding of crime lords and slave traders. In his five-year-oldâs mind, that meant specifically the Hutts, who ruled Tatooine with a steel fist, but as he grew up he realized that evil people, exploiters and murdere, were far from being exclusive to his home planet.
kalluzeb + pheromones wip:
Itâs Zebâs time to clean the Ghostâs refreshers, which means heâs currently holed up in his bunk doing anything but. Heraâs out on Yavin IV, doing high-up Rebellion stuff heâs not privy to, so he figures heâs got time before she comes scolding him. All of a sudden, a deep, complex scent reaches his nostrils.
