#wayne dilaurentis fields

[thats-immortality]

25 Days of Emison

Day #13

Matching Christmas Sweaters

“Girls! Hurry up! Your mom is going to be home any minute,” Emily called up the stairs to her twins.

“We’re coming!” Lily yelled down to Emily.

“Come here, Wayne,” Emily said, bending down to pick up the grabby 2-year-old from where he was playing on the floor. She quickly helped him stand up and straightened out his clothes.

Alison had been having a particularly bad day at work. She was dealing with a bunch of attitude ridden teenagers who just wanted to end start their Christmas break. She had had a disgustingly long department meeting that really made her consider ripping out her own eyelashes. And a mountain of paperwork and papers to grade before the semesters end. 

Emily knew immediately that she needed to do something to cheer Alison up, and she had just the plan. She had been waiting until Christmas morning for this particular surprise, but it was as good a time as any. She’d grabbed the boxes from the attic and dispersed them accordingly to the family, instructed the girls to go upstairs at once and get changed.

Emily quickly ran around the house and plugged in all the lights and the tree. She already had a fire lit in their living room and Christmas music playing all throughout the house, all waiting for Alison’s arrival.

The twins came barreling down the stairs a few moments later, looking adorable as ever. Especially with their added Santa hats.

“Good idea girls! Why didn’t I think of that?” Emily said.

“Here,” Grace said, “We grabbed the rest.”

“You two are the best,” Emily said, putting Wayne’s on.

A few seconds later, they heard the beep of a car locking.

“Come on, everyone get ready!” Emily said. Everyone getting into position in front of the fire.

“Hello?” Alison called from the front door, “Where is everyone?”

“In here, Mommy!” Lily yelled, giggling excitedly.

Alison crossed into the living room and immediately burst out into laughter.

“What’s all this?” she asked, crossing over to take a look at everyone. She first spotted Emily’s red Christmas sweater. In white embroidered letters it said “Santa Mama.” And all three kids had matching sweaters that all said “Santa Baby” on them.

“Well,” Emily said, crossing over to Alison, “we knew you weren’t having the best day at work, so we wanted to surprise you. I’ve had these for weeks.”

“This is amazing. You are amazing,” Alison said, wrapping her arms around Emily’s waist and kissing her soundly.

“Here, mommy!” Grace said, walking over and holding up another red sweater.

“Is this one mine?” Alison asked.

“Yeah!” Lily said, “Go put it on!”

Alison opened the sweater, hers said “Santa Mommy.”

“These are awesome! I’ll be right back.”

A few moments later, Alison came back all changed into her new sweater, and joined Emily and the kids on the floor where they were sitting by the fire.

“You really like it?” Emily asked, moving a chunk of hair from Alison’s face.

“Are you kidding? I love it. And you. Thank you for always doing the most ridiculous things to make me laugh,” Alison said, grabbing hold of Emily’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

“I promised you I always would,” Emily said, leaning in to give Alison a quick kiss.

“Don’t forget your hat, mommy!” Grace said.

“How could I ever?” Alison said, quickly putting on her Santa hat, officially matching the rest of the 

family.

“Come on,” Emily said, reaching for her phone, “Let’s take a photo!”

She quickly leaned it up against a stack of books on their coffee table and started the timer. The whole family grouped together and put on their best smiles. This quickly became one of their all time favorite photos, and a new Christmas tradition they’d have for many, many years to come.

[awesomesuperherowanted]

Dilaurentis-Fields: Failure

Grace emerged from the locker room, her hair still matted from the ice cold shower she had inflicted upon herself to erase the stench of defeat. The water was slowly seeping into her oversized hoodie, causing the empty gym to feel a lot colder. She stood at the scorers table trying to imagine that less than an hour ago the place had been packed with at least a thousand screaming fans. All that was left were abandoned soda cups and candy wrappers that the cleaning crew would no doubt be picking up before the end of the night. She glanced up at the rafters, mentally, she erased the state banner she had envisioned hanging in that very spot, her heart sank as she acknowledged her failure.

"This isn't how it was supposed to end," she thought to herself. She wanted to cry, but honestly what would that do. The buzzer had sounded and it had taken everything she had to not crumple to the ground. Everyone had come up to her and congratulated her on a great game. "You'll get them next time." "You guys did awesome." "Don't worry, there's always next year." The words ringing falsely in her ears.

She could feel the anger course through her veins. She hadn't put in all that work to come up empty handed. She kicked the basketball across the court and slammed the bleacher with her fist before finally falling to the floor. The ball sailed across the gym, bounced harmlessly off the wall before it settled underneath the basket. She stared at it, hot tears running down her cheeks, she didn't care if anyone saw, "What did they know anyways," she said to herself.

Emily watched her daughter slowly shed her tough exterior. She had seen how beaten she had looked at the end of the game but she had kept that shell intact. Emily knew what that felt like, to have to smile and let everyone comfort you even though none of it would help. To have to stay composed and seem like it didn't faze you, when in reality the outcome was so devastating that all you wanted to do was just curl up and disappear for awhile.

She wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be okay, but she knew that it wouldn't change anything. Grace just needed time to process that sometimes things aren't meant to be regardless of how much work you put in. Sometimes it's not about effort or you, it just isn't enough. Emily grimaced at that thought. Her daughter learning this lesson was one she had hoped to put off for as long as possible.

Grace sniffed. She knew she shouldn't feel sorry for herself, it was just a stupid game, but she had spent countless hours working towards this moment. They were one game away from the big game, they just needed this win and they could make it to the state championship - the big leagues. This was a chance to play on a bigger stage with scouts and thousands more watching, it could be her lead in to getting a scholarship, or better yet, getting an offer to play overseas. Everything had been riding on this game, and just like that it was all over.

Grace pulled her knees tightly against her chest, her heels digging into the floor as she leaned against the bleacher, Emily quietly lowered herself to the hardwood floor and placed her arm loosely atop the bleacher behind Grace's lanky frame. She didn't say anything, she just sat comfortably waiting for her daughter to acknowledge her.

Grace sat rigid, staring vacantly at the gym doors. She wasn't sure what her mom expected her to do. She muttered, "This sucks." Emily stroked her daughter's hair as she simply replied, "Yah, it does." Grace leaned into her mom, she started to feel tired, all the anger and disappointment sapping every ounce of her energy, her voice broke as she spoke, "Now what?"

Emily shrugged before replying, "You're the only one who can answer that." Grace could feel the anger in her voice as she spat out, "I sucked. I should just quit." Emily countered, "You have been better, and you've never quit before."

Grace looked her mom squarely in the eye, "I choked when it mattered, what's to say I won't next time around?" Emily's eyes softened as she chose her words carefully, "Yes you did, however how will you ever rise up if you never give yourself the opportunity?"

Grace scowled, "You know mom, most people wouldn't tell their daughter they suck." Emily smiled down at her daughter, before correcting her, "I never said you sucked, I said you choked."

Grace could feel the tears of shame well up, Emily brushed them away, "You caved under pressure, everybody does, it's normal. Now what you do after is what matters."

Grace whispered feebly, "What kind of person would I be if I quit?" Emily shrugged, "I don't know, but if you do we will find out."

Grace thought about it for a second before asking, "You wouldn't stop me?"

Emily shook her head, "If you truly believe you should quit then I would support what you choose." Grace opened her mouth to say something, Emily raised her hand, motioning for her to keep silent as she continued, "However, if you did, it means that you believe the work you put in before was for nothing and not worth the effort to try again. Life's tough, you know that."

Grace stared at her hands before slowly nodding in agreement. She whispered, "I really sucked though." Emily smiled tenderly at her daughter, before lightly teasing, "Look on the bright side, if you decide to stick to it, you will definitely be better and all you would have to do is show up."

Grace nudged her mom before pointing out, "Wow, there is something seriously wrong with your parenting skills. Most moms would be like you were good and next time you'll be awesome," Grace rolled her eyes before exclaiming, "Not my mom."

Emily feigned a hurt look before reminding her, "I am sure your other mom will say those things as soon as you get home, as will your grandmother, and your aunts, plus don't forget your friends and your brother and sister. I highly doubt you need me to tell you that you are awesome. You know you are, you just don’t see that right now."

Emily gave her a reassuring hug, before adding, "It may not feel like it, but it will get better." Grace sniffed, she knew her mom was right but she didn't want to feel better, not yet at least.

As if Emily could read her every move, she leaned over and whispered, "Nothing wrong with sulking for awhile." Grace sat in her mom's embrace, normally she would back away because after all her mom was a teacher and they were in school, but she didn't care. At this moment in time, she knew she needed her mom and she was just fine with that.

[thats-immortality]

25 Days of Emison

Day #8

Christmas Gifts

It was noon, the house was quiet. There was wrapping paper in every corner of the living room. All three kids were fast asleep on the couch, all tuckered out from the Christmas morning excitement and all their new toys.

Emily and Alison were enjoying a nice, quiet, cup of coffee in their kitchen. Relishing in the last few moments of peace before they started cleaning up and preparing for all the company that was to show up within just a few short hours.

“So,” Emily said, drawing circles on Alison’s palm, “I think we can safely say we gave the kids a successful Christmas.” “We most definitely did. They were so excited to give you their presents,” Alison said, taking a sip of her coffee.

“I never knew how much I needed a macaroni frame until today,” Emily said, laughing slightly.

“And don’t forget your personalized key lanyard,” Alison added.

“How could I ever?”

“Well, since they’re asleep, I wanna give you your present.”

“You read my mind, babe.”

A few moments later, they returned to their table, presents in hand.

“You open first,” Emily said, pushing a small box towards her.

Alison carefully unwrapped the paper and saw a jewelry box. She opened it tentatively, and her breath caught in her throat at the beautiful necklace inside. Two small hearts, each made from a different stone, connected at the end, glimmered back up at her.

“The one is a pearl and the other is topaz. It’s our birthstones. I wanted them connecting so you know that my heart, is always with yours.”

“Babe,” Alison said, her voice thick with tears, “this is beautiful. I love it so much. Thank you.”

Alison leaned over and pressed a sweet kiss to Emily’s lips.

“You’re very welcome,” Emily said, leaning over to help Alison latch the clasp.

“Okay, my turn,” Alison said, moving around to pick up the rather large package from behind her.

Emily opened the wrapping to find a frame. Inside was a print of a constellations, underneath it had a caption of, “The best night of my life.”

“This,” Alison started, “is a constellation map. It’s what the sky looked like on the night that I told you I loved you. I always say that there was something in the air that night, and that the stars have always brought me back to you. And it’s a night I never want to forget, because it truly was the best night of my life. It brought me to my soulmate.”

“Baby,” Emily said, it was turn for her voice to be thick with tears. She immediately reached for Alison, kissing her soundly. “This is amazing. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad you like it,” Alison said, smiling and playing with her new necklace.

“I love it. And you.”

“Merry Christmas, babe,” Alison said.

“Merry Christmas,” Emily said, leaning into kiss Alison once again.

[awesomesuperherowanted]

Dilaurentis-Fields: One name…

The baby stirred in Emily’s arms, she shifted settling him against her chest. She hummed softly as she patted his back, her thoughts running off in no particular direction. Who would have thought that after everything they had been through they would end up here. Normally a hospital room would put her on edge, but this didn’t feel like a hospital room. The dimly lit room was a stark contrast to the fluorescent lights glaring in the hall, the smell of rubbing alcohol stopping short of their room as if it knew it wasn’t welcome there. The softly lit room was fortified with wall to wall gifts, each corner of the room hiding various stuffed animals and flowers. Their loved ones went all out in congratulating them on the newest addition to the family while others made sure to express their concern for Ali to be back on her feet as quick as possible, Emily couldn’t help but smile at the outpouring of love.

Emily’s line of thought shifted to Ali. Ali had spent so much of her adolescent years trying to control everything in her orbit. She manipulated, lied and schemed to keep everyone at bay. Yet at one of the biggest events of their lives, they had so many people in their corner, it was enough prove that she had changed. Emily knew that they had built a home, and it was now filled with laughter, love and children, three things Ali had always thought was never going to be in her future.

Emily grew pensive as her eyes scanned the room. Her gaze settled on the ginormous bear nestled in the crook of the room across from her. It was a hulk of a toy, fluffy and  inviting. It had to be at least 5 feet tall, his eyes gazing at you warmly, his red polka dotted bow tie, seeming so cute you couldn’t help but smile. His arms were wide open, furry and soft, inviting you to stop and hug it, it was that kind of stuffed animal, though Emily thought it was a bit much. She rolled her eyes. For a brief moment, she felt the heat of jealousy rear it’s ugly head. Within seconds, the feeling was gone, the bear had been given by Lorenzo – the one decent guy that Emily couldn’t find fault with.

She had encouraged that Ali keep that relationship. Lorenzo was a friend and he had been someone who focused on Ali’s good qualities, which was rare at the time, so it seemed like a no-brainer to repair that friendship. Emily knew they were just friends, but every now and again, she couldn’t help feeling some residual resentment. It didn’t help that she could still see Ali in a liplock with him, an image forever branded into her brain.

She shook her head, causing the baby to fuss a little. She slowly rocked him back and forth, waiting for him to settle once more. Ali lay on her side, she had awoken awhile ago, but she didn’t want to bother Emily. Instead she had spent the time watching her wife, wondering what was going through her mind. Most times, Emily was an open book, one glance at her facial expression and she knew when Emily was annoyed, happy, sad, or irritated. Over the past 10 minutes, she had seen so many emotions flash across her face, she wondered what Emily could possibly be thinking about.

Ali knew Emily like the back of her hand, and if she asked, Emily would say everything was fine and shift the attention to her. Emily had spent the past 24 hours running around like a maniac, yelling at nurses and doctors, wreaking havoc in the hospital room, and wearing holes in the waiting room floor, it was a wonder how she had the energy to still be awake.

Ali had been in out of sleep since the delivery. She vaguely remembered people coming in and out to visit the baby. She had wondered how long they had been waiting for the news, since the labor felt like forever. Yet, as soon as her son joined them, her hospital room had becoming a revolving door of people. Never had she imagined her life would be so full. She knew she had Emily to thank for that. Emily had always been the one who brought the best out of her. Lily and Grace had been icing on the cake, she didn’t think things could get any better. Yet here she was, her son wrapped in her wife’s arms, her heart proving that there is still so much more room in it. She could swear a smile was permanently plastered on her face – albeit a tired smile at the moment.

They hadn’t named their son, and Ali knew that it would be time to have the conversation. She knew that the nurses would be looking to fill that line on his birth certificate. Right now his bracelet still said Dilaurentis-Fields baby. At that moment, Emily could feel someone staring at her, she glanced over at Ali, “Hey… you’re awake,” she whispered as she slowly got up from the chair.

Ali smiled at her, she knew that this would be only time they would have alone, the kids and everyone else wouldn’t wait too long before setting up camp in her room. Emily placed the baby in the little cubicle beside the bed, she reached down and made sure his blanket was tucked securely before leaving him to sit beside her wife.

To Ali’s surprise, Emily fit herself between her and the edge of the bed, and she managed to make it look and feel cozy. Her legs rested warmly against Ali’s body, her back propped up comfortably against the head rail, Ali reached over and hugged Emily’s legs. Emily leaned her head back, eyes closed, a tired smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, she whispered, “I don’t know how you do it, but you do it everytime.”

Ali smiled, she murmured, “After everything, I’m surprised you can still stand. I think you had it harder than me.”

Emily scoffed at that, content to stay like this, she placed her hands over Ali’s arm, a thought popped into her head. “Oh crap, I forgot, we still have to name him.” Looking down at Ali she exclaimed, “Our son still doesn’t have a name.”

Ali nodded in agreement before proceeding, “If I remember correctly someone promised I could do anything as long as I made it out alive.” Her eyes twinkled, she knew Emily would not go back on what she said, “I am alive and well, so… I would like to name the baby.”

Emily glanced down at her legs, she had made that deal with Ali under duress, she couldn’t possibly be held to anything she had said during that time.

Emily fiddled with the sheets as she contemplated her next move, had she known that she would have no say in what their son would be named, she might have not made that deal. She knew Ali could name their baby and she would love his name regardless of what it would be, just the idea that she couldn’t say yes or no. She exhaled deeply.

Ali chuckled quietly, “I thought I was the dramatic one.”

Emily opened her mouth to complain, but she realized that it wouldn’t change anything. Besides it had been a long day, she was just happy both of them were okay, never had she imagined that it would take that long to bring their son into this world. She was starting to go crazy waiting for news.

She held her hand up claiming, “For the record, I think I should get some kind of say, an argument or plea, since I wasn’t allowed in the delivery room.”

Ali’s eyes danced with mischief, it took everything she had to not point out that Emily had gotten herself kicked out of the delivery room. Instead she nodded before continuing, “I picked one name and if you don’t like it, we can talk about it, how’s that?”

Emily flashed her a smile, settling back onto the bed, with an over exaggerated sign, she relented, “Let’s hear it.”

Ali whispered, “I would like to name him Wayne.” She could feel Emily’s hand squeeze hers, but Emily didn’t say a word.

She looked up and saw a tear slip down her cheek. Ali moved to sit up, Emily placed her hand on Ali’s shoulder, forcing her to lay back down. She dashed the tear off her cheek, and continued to stare at their hands. Ali wanted to say something, but she was unsure of what to say. She had thought of many scenarios on how this would play out, but this was not one of them.

After a few long moments, Emily spoke, uncertainly laced in her voice, “I didn’t think there was anything that could make me love you more than I already do, however you continue to amaze me. Are you sure you want to name him after my father?”

Ali nodded, she echoed the sentiment shining in her eyes, “I have never been more sure of anything. He is the one man who has made you the person you have become, why wouldn’t I want our son to honor his memory or be a person with his character? Thanks to your father, I and your two daughters have the best mom and wife in this whole town. I think that alone should justify why I would want his name, unless you prefer something else?”

Emily could feel the tears slide down her face, but she didn’t care. She shook her head before conceding, “I should have known you would pick something I could never argue with. You know me, you get me. I have no idea how we work, yet here we are.”

[awesomesuperherowanted]

Dilaurentis-Fields: Baby News IV

Grace knew her mom would be back any moment, but she had to see for herself. She peeked over the side of the crib, her brother’s body hidden under a mountain of blankets. She resisted the urge to touch him, he looked like he was finally sleeping and she didn’t want to wake him.

There was a fresh trail of mucus starting to form around his nose, and every now again she could see him labor to take in a breath. She hated having a cold, she always felt like someone was sitting on her chest and breathing was always a chore, she wondered what it felt like for him.

Her moms had spent the last 2 days hovering over him, it was rare when one of them wasn't with him. Between the broken conversations with the doctor and their moms, Lily and Grace pieced together that their brother had the flu. They were worried, but according to what the doctor had said, it was normal and he should be fine in a couple days. It had been a couple days and he was still sick.

Grace starred down at her brother, the green beanie he had on seemed a bit snug around his ears, his tiny face scrunching into a ball reminding her of a gremlin. She had hated that he had taken her spot as the baby of the family, but now looking at how helpless he seemed and how much he was struggling, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. She reached down and felt his skin, he was warm. He nuzzled closer to her hand and stuck his tongue out, a fresh trail of drool rolled down his chin.

Grace grabbed the baby towel beside him and carefully wiped it up, his expression softened. If she didn’t know any better, she would swear he was smiling at her. She took a closer look at the towel in her hand, she hadn't noticed that the baby monkeys were all different; some were smiling and laughing, others were frowning and scowling. All this time she had thought it was the same monkey, just copied in various sizes.

She remembered when she had picked it out for him. Lily had dragged her to the baby store thinking if Grace could just get involved with getting things ready for the baby, she might change her mind. Surrounded by cribs, stuffed animals and everything a baby loved, Grace had never felt so out of place. Her sister, however, babbled on about colors and which ones would be too boyish because apparently they couldn't just be normal and get stuff that’s blue.

Lily had picked out a whole bunch of things from bottles to blankets then she looked at Grace expectantly. To keep from disappointing, she grabbed the closest thing to her – it was the yellow towel set covered with monkeys. Lily had gushed about how cute it was and how perfect it would go with some of the other things they had gotten.

Grace starred down at the towel in her hand. At the time she had grabbed it to get Lily off her back, now looking at it, a part of her felt happy that her parents had used the piece she had selected. She knew they had bought a whole bunch of towel and blanket sets, but they had chosen to use the one she had picked.

At that moment, Wayne shifted, his brown eyes starring up at her through a veil of tears. Grace felt a fresh pang of pity as tears rolled down his cheeks. His tiny hand reached up and grabbed her thumb as she tried to wipe the tears. He held it firmly, the fever radiating from his tiny hands. He had managed to unwrap himself so Grace reached down and attempted to tuck him back into his warm cocoon.

He kicked his legs freeing himself from the blankets, Grace stood frozen. She wondered if she should yell for one of her moms, but Wayne just stared at her. He brought her thumb up to his mouth and drooled all over it. Normally she would be grossed out, but she just stood watching him.

She tried to remember what her moms used to do when she wasn’t feeling well. She placed her off hand on his stomach and patted gently. She remembered her mom rubbing her tummy, and it had always made her feel better. She patted him softly, the soothing motion causing his eyes to slowly drop. Instinctively, his grip tightened around her thumb, Grace smiled.

She continued to softly rub his stomach and started to sing. 

"When I'm gone... when I'm gone, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone." 

Her voice was soft, but strong enough to fill the room. 

"You're gonna miss me by my hair, you're gonna miss me everywhere, oh you're gonna miss me when I'm gone." 

Grace continued to hum as Wayne closed his eyes. His breathing slowed, Grace could feel him falling asleep.

Ali had watched the whole encounter from the doorway. She dared not move, she hadn’t realized Grace still remembered when Ali used to sing that to her. It had been so long ago, it took her a moment to recognize it herself. 

The past couple months had been hard on their family, and this was godsend. Grace had been so closed off about her brother, that Ali never would have expected to find her in his room trying to comfort him.

Grace continued to hum but this time her mom's voice filled the room. It was strong and familiar, reminding Grace of a time when her mom’s main concern was making sure she was okay. She looked up at her mom, Ali walked over and placed her arm around Grace. Ali continued, glancing down at her daughter, she motioned for her to join in, before long their voices blended in perfect harmony. Ali had forgotten that Grace could sing, a talent her daughter kept well hidden. As the song ended, Wayne's grip slackened and Grace stepped away from the crib.

Ali whispered in astonishment, "You remembered."

Grace shyly nodded, "Yah, it used to make me feel better so I thought maybe it will help him."

Ali had never felt so proud of her daughter. She grabbed her and hugged her tight. She knew Grace was still struggling with Wayne in the house and that they still had a long way to go, but this was definitely a positive sign.

[awesomesuperherowanted]

Dilaurentis-Fields: Baby News II

I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you... but you don't understand, you don't understand...

Grace lay on her back, eyes closed, her white t-shirt crumpled around her, her knees drawn up off the bed, barely visible beneath the oversized comforter. Lily could hear the music blaring from Grace's headphones. Everyone believed that Lily was the artistic one with a flair for the dramatics, but not many had seen her sister in this state.

It never failed. Every time Grace had a problem, she would always barricade herself in their room, and disappear into her own little world. Lily could always tell what her mood was depending on what she heard from her headphones. Simple plan was always the emo playlist, and here it was softly echoing throughout their room. Lily rolled her eyes.

She walked over to the bed and shoved Grace's knees to one side, the force knocking her sister off balance. Lily stared down at Grace, waiting for her to acknowledge her presence. Grace lifted her headphones off her ears, her eyebrows raised, asking "What?" without saying a word.

Lily had her power stance, she wasn't going to back down from her sister. She had been making the whole house miserable for the past couple months. The moment she came storming into their room after the big baby announcement, Lily knew this was going to be a rough transition. Grace definitely had a problem with their mom being pregnant, and at the time, she had asked her, but Grace had brushed her off. Since then, Grace had just been surly about everything. Lily had tried to avoid her sister, hoping it would blow over, however nothing had changed. She knew she had to step in.

"Okay, grumpy mcgrumperson, don't you think it's been long enough?" Lily waited for Grace to answer, refusing to give an inch, she deepened her scowl hoping it gave her an air of intimidation. Grace sat up, barely noticing and responded with a question, "Long enough for?" Lily resisted the urge to strangle her sister. Grace knew she hated it when people answered questions with a question. They were so counter-productive.

She smacked Grace’s knee again garnering a yelp from Grace, "Ouch, that hurt you know." Lily knew she was lying. She sat beside her sister, her voice serious, "You have been all moody for like…” She paused as if she were mentally counting the weeks, she nodded her head as she continued, “…forever now. I feel like I should just call you Eeyore."

Grace looked away. She knew eventually her sister would say something, but every time she imagined having this conversation, she always felt stupid. There was no right way to describe how she felt because she couldn't figure it out herself.

Lily watched her sister, she could see her struggling, but she didn't know how to help her. She tried again, this time her voice a little less harsh, "Come on, it's been months. Moms feel bad but they they don't say anything. You gotta stop."

Grace could feel the heat creep up the back of her neck, her nostrils flared as she tried to control her anger. She clenched her fists and mentally counted to ten. Finally calm, she shot her sister a sarcastic smile and drawled,  "Okay. I will. Happy now?"

Lily searched her sister's face, she could read her pretty well, she knew she wasn't letting it go that easy. Lily cautioned, "What is it about the baby that makes you so mad?"

Grace's jaw clenched, she wasn't going to answer. Lily wasn’t going to let that deter her, she kept at it, "I mean he's a baby, you love babies. I know you don’t have a problem with babies, so…” She paused for a moment, unsure if she wanted to head down this road. Looking at her sister and how miserable they were, she knew she had to so she forged on, “Is it because he is going to be mom's baby?"

Before she could stop herself, Grace blurted, "That's just dumb, we are all mom's babies." Lily continued as if she didn't hear her sister's outburst, "Well, it used to bug me. You being the baby and all.” Grace stared at her sister.

Lily’s face flushed, she hadn’t realized she had never said that outloud. She muttered, “I mean, we were minutes apart and technically we are the same age, so why would you be the baby? I never told anyone but sometimes I hated that mom would call you her youngest. It was true, but still, it made me so mad. Then you loved Star Wars like her, and it became your thing and... I was so jealous."

Grace was floored. She hadn’t realized that her sister had felt that way. She stared at her in silence. Seeing how Lily looked so sad, she nudged her, her voice a mere whisper, "Yah well... it bugged me that you were so much like mom and you don't even have to try.” She picked at the edge of the comforter as she continued, “I was the athletic one, and mom being a coach and all, wouldn't it just make sense that WE would be super close? But you are so much like her, that for a long time it just bugged me."

Lily laughed and punched her arm, "So you wanted both moms to yourself?" Grace’s eyes widened, horrified at how she must have sounded, she shook her head vehemently, she stuttered as she tried to explain what she had meant, "No... I didn't say that... I meant..." Lily elbowed her to show her she was joking.

They fell silent again. Grace had never thought that Lily had been jealous of her. Lily was her own person, she didn't look like she needed anyone or that anything bugged her. Grace cleared her throat, her voice barely audible, "I don't want the baby. Why do things have to change? Why can’t we stay the way we are?"

Lily put her arm around her sister's shoulder, she spoke carefully, "Things always change. We all change. It took awhile but I don’t feel like I did when we were younger. Grace, no matter what, this is happening.” She looked her squarely in her eyes, her voice strong, “You can’t hate our brother. I mean he's OUR brother."

Grace nodded, her voice cracking as she spoke, "I know, but right now I just can’t. My head says this is dumb but whenever he comes up, I just get mad. I don't know how to make it go away." Lily hugged her sister, she didn't know how long it would take Grace to come to terms with this, she just hoped that her new brother and sister would be able to co-exist.

[awesomesuperherowanted]

Dilaurentis-Fields: Not just math

The kitchen table was hidden under the mounds of crumpled paper, and in the corner, Grace’s head peeked out amongst all the clutter. She sat scratching her head and mumbling to herself, she would flip back and forth from her paper and the book in front of her. Frustrated she took the paper she had been writing on, crushed it in her hands and threw it across the room. What do you need math for? Why solve for x? She hated math, it was the one subject that always made her feel like she was going in circles.

She glanced over at Lily curled up on the couch. She had asked for her help earlier, her brainy sister always knew the answers. Lily had tried to show her how to solve for x, but after 30 minutes she gave up or rather, Grace gave up. She had growled at her and told her to just forget it, she would figure it out on her own.

It had been an hour and she was still on the same problem, she could skip it, but she knew that not solve the issue. The next several problems all followed the same reasoning, meaning she would not be able to answer any of them unless she understood this one.

“Lil, can you please help me?” she pleaded.

Lily looked up at her sister. She wanted to help her, but Grace was just not getting it. She walked over and glanced down at the math book, she was still on the same problem. “I tried, I’m not sure if I can explain it any better than I already did.”

Grace looked up at her, “Can you try again? I promise I’ll try to listen better.”

Lily sat beside her and they went through it. After 15 minutes, Grace crumpled the paper, clenching her teeth she mumbled, “Who cares how long it takes Molly to get to the stupid concert?”

Lily answered calmly, “You need to solve for x. It’s the same basic equation, but if you don’t understand the formula, you will always have a different answer.” She grabbed the crumpled paper, smoothing it she continued, “You need to understand the formula and how to plug in the numbers. Once you do, it will be easy.”

She got up and walked back to the couch, they had gone over it and Grace had gotten the right answer, but she still didn’t understand how to read the problem; once they throw in more than one number she would lose track of which number goes where.

Ali walked in the room, she bounced Wayne up and down trying to get him to sleep. He was cranky because he wasn’t feeling well. He had a fever and kept coughing, so they had been up for the past couple nights taking turns trying to get him to sleep at least for a couple of hours at a time.

Grace looked over at her mom, she was going to ask her to help her, but the dark circles around her eyes had her hesitating. She stared at Wayne. He had taken up all of their time these past couple weeks. She knew having a new baby would be an adjustment, but now that he was sick, all he did was cry and her moms were constantly at his side.

She tapped her pencil impatiently, she could feel the heat creep up her neck. She knew she had no reason to be angry, and that it was just because she had been sitting at the table for the past 2 hours trying to finish homework that only took Lily 15 minutes to finish. She couldn’t help but feel resentment for Wayne taking her mom’s attention, it was unreasonable, but it’s how she felt at the moment.

Ali glanced at her daughter, she could see Grace’s clenched fist, she sat down with Wayne on her shoulder, “What’s wrong?”

Grace looked at her mom, feeling ashamed for what she felt, she shook her head before muttering, “Nothing.” She glanced back at the book hoping that her mom would leave her alone.

Ali could sense something was off, so she tried again, “Anything I can help with?” As she said that, Wayne shifted and started crying. She rocked him back and forth, rubbing his back, he quieted down. Grace shot him an annoyed look. Before she could turn away, Ali saw the look flash across her face. She had been feeling some resistance with the twins and the baby, but she had figured it would eventually go away. Looking at Grace now, she knew this was something they had to address.

Lily had been watching her sister, she got up and motioned to her mom, “Here, I can take him.” She took Wayne and walked over to the couch. She started humming a small lullabye, he snuggled in closer and Lily could feel his body relax. She sat on the couch holding him, humming the tune, hoping that it would give her mom and sister time to talk.

Ali sat next to Grace, she looked directly at her daughter, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

Grace shook her head, she couldn’t understand it but she felt like she was going to cry. This is just stupid, she thought. It’s just math.

Ali placed her hand on Grace’s, she hadn’t realized she had been tapping the table so hard, she stared at the wooden surface and whispered, “I’m dumb, that’s all.”

Ali tilted Grace’s chin so she could look at her, in a soothing voice she addressed her daughter, “You are not dumb. You can talk to me. What is wrong?”

Grace pointed at her book, “I don’t get it, why do I need to figure out how long it takes Molly to get to a concert??”

Ali smiled before answering, “Because if you can figure that out, you can figure out how much an employer owes you for 40 hours worth of work. I am sure that is important to you. We just need to find a way to make you understand it that’s all.” Grace shook her head, exasperated she claimed, “We already tried.”

Ali rebutted, “But you haven’t tried with me, we just need to try from another angle.”

Grace looked up at her mom, she whispered, “You’re always busy that’s why.” Finally, Ali thought. She was hoping Grace would say something, she didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. If she brought it up and Grace wasn’t ready to talk about it, it would have been a one-sided conversation. “Yes, I’m sorry, your mom and I have been pre-occupied. There is no excuse for it.

Grace looked at her confused, Ali continued, “I know you and your sister have been really patient with us because of Wayne, and I’m sorry, we will both try to be better.”

Grace shook her head before replying, “I don’t understand…” She stopped, her brows furrowed, why was her mom apologizing?

Ali held onto Grace’s hands while she spoke, “I know we have been busy with Wayne, but that doesn’t mean that you and Lily aren’t just as important. Normally, we would help you with your homework and whenever you got stuck, you never hesitated to ask for help. I noticed that now you don’t.” Grace stared at her math book, not wanting to make her mom feel bad she answered, “No it’s fine.” Ali was adamant though, “No it’s not. If you need anything, we will always make time for you and your sister. You need to know that. You, your sister and your brother are the most important things in our lives, and you need to understand that anytime you have a problem, or need something, we are here for you.”

Grace nodded, Ali continued, “I mean it, we love all of you; you three are equal in our hearts.”

Grace could feel a tear trickle down her cheek, she brushed it away. She didn’t understand why she was being like this, it was just stupid math.

As if Ali could read her mind, she whispered, “It’s not stupid math and it’s not stupid… EVER. If you feel like you can’t come to us, then that is our fault and we need to fix that. So how about we take a look at your math and we start fixing it?”

Grace nodded and pulled the book towards her, she sniffed before reading the problem outloud, “If Molly is on a bus traveling 70 miles per hour…”

After 20 minutes, Grace had managed to go through all the problems with her mom and she finally understood what Lily had been trying to explain to her. She slammed her book shut and raised her fists in triumph. Ali hugged her daughter and whispered, “Remember it’s not stupid math and you can always come to me or your mom, got it?”

Grace hugged her back and smiled, “Yup.”

Lily had placed Wayne in his crib, she walked over, smiling, “Soooooo…” She raised her eyebrows in question. Grace stood up and stated with confidence, “Soooo… I’m not as bad at math as I thought.” Lily flashed her sister a grin before punching her arm and asserting, “Told you… I think this calls for ice cream.” They both looked at their mom for approval, she nodded in agreement. Ali smiled as they scrambled to the fridge. She knew her and Emily had gotten lucky when they had these two.

[awesomesuperherowanted]

Dilaurentis-Fields: Baby news

Lily chewed on the inside of her lip, her back propped up against the gate, she knew something wasn't right. This was the fourth time her grandma had picked them up in the past couple months.

Normally they would be dropped to her house, but her coming to get them left her with a funny feeling. Lost in her thoughts, Grace ran up behind her and poked her side causing Lily to jump. She let out a little yell, her backpack falling off her shoulder, she swooped down catching it before it could hit the ground.

Lily scowled at her which made Grace laugh. Lily annoyed, growled at her sister, "You almost made me bite my tongue off."

Grace couldn't resist, she shrugged, "Would that be so bad?" She winked at her sister, that earned her a quick jab to her side. Grace winced, her hand over the spot Lily had hit, she shot her a pained look. She tried to hold it, but within moments she couldn't stop the giggles that followed.

"Is Grandma coming?" Grace asked once she managed to gain control of herself. She popped a skittle in her mouth, offering the bag to her sister, Lily grabbed a handful, and proceeded to eat them one by one. Several girls walked by, waving and yelling their names, the two turned and waved back.

Lily glanced at her watch, "Yah, she is on her way."

Grace nodded as she leaned against the gate. It wasn't hot today so standing under the sun actually felt nice. A couple more of her classmates called out, Lily teased, "Popular much?"

Grace shrugged her shoulders, she answered nonchalantly, "I guess." Lily's face grew serious, she had to ask her sister, "Hey... how come mom couldn't pick us up?" Grace squinted up at the sky, "I don't know, Why?"

Lily figured now was a good time to ask her, "You don't think it's weird that both moms couldn't get us? It's the fourth time in the past couple of months."

Grace continued to smile and wave at different people, Lily impatiently tugged on her arm, "Hello, are you even listening to me?" Grace glanced at her sister, "Yes, I heard you, Grandma has picked us up before, what's the big deal?"

Lily knew Grace was right but she still thought something was off. She tried again, "Okay have you noticed anything about how mom has been acting? Anything weird?"

Grace just stared at her sister, Lily continued, "Like why doesn't mom drink coffee anymore? Or why does she take so many pills?"

Grace thought back, she could picture her mom at the breakfast table, but instead of her usual cup of joe in front of her, there was a tall glass of water. She also noticed that her other mom spends a lot of time packing food for her and fussing over her.

Grace caved, "Okay... yah, maybe. So what?" Lily stared off watching the cars pull up and drive off, she shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, but something's weird. You don't think mom is sick do you?"

Grace hadn't thought of that, but Ali had been sleeping a lot lately or rather laying down because she wasn't feeling well. Could she be sick? Grace was about to say something as their grandma pulled up.

They both climbed into the car, in unison they greeted her, "Hi grandma." Grandma Fields smiled, she waited for them to buckle in, before inquiring about their day.

It was the usual, their grandma wanted to know how was school, if they did anything new, how they were doing. Their family was pretty tight knit, they always shared how things went. It was just how it was.

Before long they were pulling up to their house, both cars were parked in the driveway. The girls glanced at each other, Lily asked, "Grandma, what's going on?"

Mrs. Fields looked at her granddaughter, she smiled, "What do you mean dear?"

Grace leaned on the passenger seat, looking at her Grandma, "Well, why did you pick us up if moms are home?"

Their Grandma shrugged, she glanced at the door before continuing, "Your mom had an appointment, that's all. I guess it finished a little early."

Lily grabbed her grandma’s hand and blurted out, "Is mom sick?"

Mrs. Fields shook her head, "Girls, where would you get that idea? Why would you think that?"

Grace and Lily recounted their conversation at the gate, their Grandma listened intently waiting for them to finish. They both looked at her expectantly, she answered, "Girls, everything is fine. Don't worry."

They stared at her, she would never lie to them. Each of them gave their Grandma a hug before saying goodbye, then, they trudged up their walkway still not feeling entirely convinced that everything was fine.

As they walked in, their moms were seated on the couch waiting for them. Now they knew something was up. They dropped their backpacks onto the floor, Emily ushered them in, "Girls, your mom and I have something to tell you."

Lily could feel the knot in her stomach tighten as she set herself down next Ali. Emily walked over and sat across from them, Grace followed.

Both girls remained silent, not sure of what was going to happen next. Ali looked at Lily, she could see the worry in her eyes, she asked, "What's wrong?"

Lily couldnt stop herself, "Are you okay? Are you sick? What's wrong?"

Grace looked at Emily and waited for her to say something. When she didn't, she asked, "What's going on? Lily and I have been talking and... you can tell us."

Ali looked from one daughter to another, she smiled, her voice softened, "Girls nothing is wrong. Your mom and I have something we want to tell you."

Lily squeezed her eyes shut, she was sure this was bad. She couldn't come up with any other time when they wanted to talk to both of them. Ali placed her hand over Lily's, "I'm fine I promise."

Lily looked up at her mom, she whispered, "You've been sick lately. You're always lying down and taking pills."

Emily looked at Grace, Grace starred at the floor. She placed her arm around her before speaking, "Both of you know we are always upfront with you. I promise there is nothing wrong with your mom."

Lily glared at Emily, she retorted, "Then why do you guys need to talk to us?"

Ali smiled, Lily was always the observant one. Both girls were smart so of course they would have noticed a change in their routines. Her voice reassuring them she nodded at Emily before speaking, "Girls the reason I have been tired and have been leaning on your grandma a little more is because soon there will be a new addition to the family."

Grace looked confused, "Addition? Like we're getting a pet or something?"

Emily couldn't help herself, she laughed, "Not quite. How do you feel about having a little brother around?"

Lily shot her mom a puzzled look then it clicked, the tiredness, the pills, the no caffeine. She jumped up, her eyes round with surprise, she hugged her mom. Grace sat, she looked at Lily as if she had grown another head. First she's worried her mom’s going to die and now she's hugging her for no reason.

Lily looked back at Grace as she yelled excitedly, "Did you hear that? Grace isn't that awesome?"

Emily and Ali watched as Grace starred at her sister. Finally Lily walked over and knocked her sister on the head, "Come on Grace."

Grace looked at all three of them, she understood what it had meant, her mom was having a baby. She sat frozen, she didn't understand why Lily was so excited.

Lily hugged both her moms, she babbled on about how having a brother was awesome, how she hoped he looked like them and she couldn't wait till he arrived. Grace could hear her sister talking but she wasn't paying attention.

She forced a smile, she wasn't sure what just happened but it seemed she was supposed to be happy. Lily seemed to have enough enthusiasm for both of them so she remained silent.

Finally Lily calmed down, she sat and asked, "Does Grandma know?"

Emily nodded, "Your grandma knew before I did." Ali laughed, before explaining, "Your Grandma went with me because I was too scared to go on my own and I didn't want to get your mom's hopes up."

Emily stood, "In fact, you both need to get cleaned up, and get your homework done because we are having a dinner tonight to tell your aunts."

Lily grabbed her backpack, she gave both of them a hug, before heading off to her room. Grace grabbed her backpack, she still hadn't said anything.

Ali stopped Grace, "Grace, I would like to speak to you."

Grace looked at her mom, she couldn't talk to her right now. She apologized, "Sorry mom, I have a lot of homework to do."

Ali wouldn't take no for an answer, she insisted, "Its important and it won't take long."

Grace nodded and sat back down.

"I noticed you haven't said much." Ali searched Grace's face for any sign of what she could be feeling.

Grace starred at her backpack, quietly she answered, "What's there to say?"

Ali kept her voice steady, "How about how you feel about it?"

Grace mumbled, "I feel okay."

Ali reasoned, "Just okay? You can tell me. Truth..."

Grace thought about it, she, herself didn't know what to say. She didn't know how she felt, but happy was definitely not it.

"I don't know mom. You're having a baby, I guess that's nice."

Ali was afraid of this, even though there were two of them, Grace had always been the baby. Lily had been born first and she was always pointing out she was the eldest, now Grace didn't know how to handle not being the youngest.

She tried again, "How about you tell me what you are thinking? Just say whatever pops into your head."

Grace muttered, "I'm not thinking of anything. I don't know what you want me to say. I already said it's nice so yah." She continued to stare at her hands, she wasn't sure if what she was supposed to do.

Ali had remembered how she had affected Jason. She was daddy's little girl and he resented her for it. To say they had a difficult relationship growing up would be putting it mildly. She didn't want that for her kids.

She tried to reassure Grace, she placed her hand on Grace’s arm, "Grace, you know no matter what, you will always be our baby."

Grace nodded. She didn't need a pep talk. She wasn't angry or anything, she just didn't want to talk about this. Why couldn't she just let this drop?

"Mom... I know. I am fine. Really."

Ali looked at her unconvincingly, "Are you sure? You can talk to me... you know that right?"

Grace nodded. She repeated, "I know. I got homework so yah."

She grabbed her backpack and headed to her room. She couldn't talk to her mom, what was she going to say? That she didn't care for their news? She shook her head, nope. It was no one’s business about how she felt.

Ali stood, she wanted to stop her. Emily stepped in front of her and shook her head. She whispered, "Let her be. She will talk when she's ready."

Ali insisted, "She will talk to me. She always does." Emily agreed, “I am sure she will, however, not right now. She needs time."

Ali glanced back down the hallway feeling helpless. This was the one time she couldn't fix things for her daughter and it didn't sit well with her.