I hate hearing bad shit to do with you. I know I shouldn't care because we aren't together, and even though the people tell me that you are loyal when you are in a relationship I still sit and wonder "what if you're not?" I am so sick of being hurt by every single person that has ever told me they wouldn't hurt me. I honestly hate the fact that I am one of those people that when I like someone I put all my heart into it. Part of me wants to back out of what ever it is that is going on between us but then I don't because I really do like you and I have waited so so long to tell you how I felt and I don't want to lose that.. And I don't want to talk to you about any of this because I don't want you to think that I'm obsessive simply for the fact that I care about about myself and my feelings and I don't want to get dropped again.. I just want something to go right in my life and I know that no matter what it is in my life or who is in my life people are going to talk shit but it's just so hard to not believe them. Especially when I know how you are with girls. Like I don't even know if you do actually feel the same since you are making me wait til you come back to talk to me. That's probably the worst thing because so many bad thoughts are running through my head about what could happen. Like if you really are tuning other girls, will it stop if we are together? I don't want to go into this head first when you are only taking baby steps. I really seriously hope you don't hurt me and what everyone is telling me isn't true. Because I need you in my life not only as the guy I like but as my friend. You are probably the closet friend I have and I am really scared that if something happens we will lose the friendship.. I don't want to lose another friend..