Ever since I was a young kid, I have had a fascination with death. The end of a life was something that I, at first, feared. I do not know why the fear of death hit me at such a young age, perhaps it was 9/11? Perhaps it was my Grandmother’s passing? Or some unrelated incidents I have no full grasp on in my memories. Over the years I had come to terms in my views about how death will claim even the stars, for me it was just ‘I live to die, and that is it’ and nothing else. My life didn’t HAVE much meaning...
But that changed this last year.
I had a horrible car wreak around this time a year ago, it landed me in the hospital for 2 days, then a mental ward for a -very- long week. I will not go into the details of the hows or whys I had to be in that situation, but it was an eye opening experience for me.
After I got out of the Mental Hospital, however, the timing was...strange but wonderful.
I looked at Youtube to see @markiplier and @crankgameplays had made a new channel, Unus Annus.
At first I honestly just looked over it, I wasn’t in a state of mind to put effort into a lot of things, but a month later I went back and started -really- watching. Really listening. Really experiencing.
Now marks a year since that Car Wreak, and a year since Unus Annus started. And now, Unus Annus has come to its end, but I am here despite the wreak and everything that followed. Here I am moving on in life and now, with a better understanding of that end.
I do not have to fear death, or want for it early because I felt my life was just a walk toward it. I now see for what that walk MEANS... Death is not an end, but just something you know will be there. And in that time you can decide to make the most of what a life can be to you. From learning about reptiles to archery and fire breathing, to laughing with a friend about memes and making breakfast with sex toys because why not? This one year a lot had been done by Unus Annus, by Ethan and Mark and Amy and everyone who had a hand in it.
I am no longer going to let the thought of death discourage my mind because it is the end, instead I am going to let the thought of death ENOURAGE me to make my life the best that it can be.
Thank you @crankgameplays
Thank you Amy (I dont know your tumblr, sorry)
Thank you Everyone who had a hand in Unus Annus
Because of you I am no longer discouraged of the thought of death....Thank you