#wearynet

[lovlettres-moved]

my language is a tongue that licks the remains of my heart, my language is the after taste of bitter lemons stuck on the roof of my mouth.

my language is a tongue irreplaceable, indefinable and infinite, it keeps me on the edge and wraps around me like warm nights in spring.

my language hurts when i speak, kicks the back of my teeth when i beg for it to be let out, my language is a blubbering mess of words that i don't understand anymore because your language has contaminated mine.

i stomach my language for days on sticky humid nights, most when i talk to you, it stays / and stays / and stays and then gradually i forget, forget the meaning it was supposed to hold when it was still in my stomach.

on some days my language is the air i breathe, it's the oxygen that runs around in my lungs and the blood that i feel flows on my wrist, my language is a remain of the remains.

[mermaeids]

“i never hear from you anymore,” you say. i shrug, and you ask me how i’ve been.

don’t you know? i want to scream, don’t you know? that i would have loved you until our voices died, until our hands became nothing but piles of bones and purple veins.

i would have loved you until our white picket fence rotted and the tallest oak in our woods met the earth.

i would have loved you until our last breath, and then some.

i would have loved you until the last star gave up.

but you didn’t let me, and now you ask me how i’ve been.

i was screaming in the woods yesterday, because everyone is gone, so there is no one left to hear me. “it’s gonna get dark soon,” i kept repeating to myself, like a bird singing a warning against the night.

i walked like a ghost through the darkened, bare-boned trees until my father came looking for me. i fought his grip; i didn’t want to spend another second trapped between walls that suffocate the living, in the house where you once loved me.

i say, “good. how are you?”

— the first lie i’ve ever told you // jules c.

[ohardently]

"i look at her and i think where did she learn to laugh like that? all round mouthed and  wide eyed, with her heart o p e n"