School runs just became interesting!
An open letter to the driver of the white van on the Red Roses road this morning... Don't panic, this is a positive letter.
You have no idea how much fun you created just by existing this morning. You were our arch-nemesis hell-bent on world domination, and we were the James-Bond-style heroes sent to stop you with our van-destroying smart-cannons and freeze-rays in our under-dog 'sports car' (Suzuki Swift)
You were a good opponent, you dodged and dived (round bends) and several times we thought we had lost you, but then around the corner you were again. Our pilot, (Daddy, aged 29) kept pace nicely though and we were able to catch up ready with our targeting systems on line. Unfortunately for us our freeze ray malfunctioned causing the road to get quite slippery in places, but we pulled through. And just when we thought we were back on track to destroy your plans of world domination, our forcefield destroying Cannons malfunctioned too!
Our weapons expert (Megan, aged 8) worked tirelessly to repair the cannons whilst the Van Man continued his evil doings along the road spraying his noxious gases behind in an attempt to throw us off his scent. Unfortunately our defence specialist (Chloe, aged 4) may have got carried away at this point, screaming "Fire, fire, fire!" even though she knew the weapon systems were knackered.
Happily, for us and sadly for you, our weapons, defence and targeting systems were repaired just in time & you were destroyed on the fork in the road by the school (when you went the other way).
Our weapons specialist was so overcome with joy at defeating you that she hugged me tight all the way into school and didn't want me to leave her side when I had to go to work.
Let this be a lesson to us all to take life a little less sensibly. (All events above happened in 'real life', and were fictitious.)