Sep 4, 2013
advice to anyone getting married or going to a wedding
do not get so drunk that you jump into the hotel pool in your rented tux
or pee on the hotel desk and your brothers suitcase
or pee on the hotel desk and tv and your own dog
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advice to anyone getting married or going to a wedding
do not get so drunk that you jump into the hotel pool in your rented tux
or pee on the hotel desk and your brothers suitcase
or pee on the hotel desk and tv and your own dog
ok i am home (i got home late last night actually) and recovering but good lord that wedding was a trainwreck. something went wrong with every part. also i was ignored 97% of the time so i am not entirely sure i needed to be there and especially do all the stuff involved with being In a Wedding but whatever it is over
good parts:
visiting my border collie niece. dog baby. baby dog. she knows how to spin on command now.
watching papa sunday dance the twist, which he is very excited about (and pretty good at)
papa sunday also requested a song to dance w/ me to, it was kawaii
uhhhh on the way home we stopped by a family friends house in iowa and she fed us burgers and lemon cake
the rehearsal dinner was at a burlesque bar. like literally a burlesque-themed bar/club that has shows sometimes. i was eating pork carnitas on a pool table while staring at pin-ups on a red velvet wall. it was very surreal and not at all appropriate for my brother and his wife but whatever. glad.
also wow that sure did cement my feelings on weddings. fancy weddings are Not At All My Deal omg just go to the courthouse and have a little party that your friends cater it will be the same in the end especially if you are my brother and sister-in-law and are chugging patron the entire time, good lord
Wow they didn't even play cotton eyed joe, failure of a Country Wedding, would not drive 20 hours for again
We have been in Illinois for a while. There is still a lot of Illinois left. There is still a lot of Missouri left. The whole Missouri. And then part of Kansas.
Missouri friends. Who wants to hide me in their house so I don't have to be in this wedding. Last chance. Ill give you this rare half a bag of chips from PA.
daydreams about my only wedding present to my brother being a really fancy bible
not sure if the theoretical bible should include a little slip of paper that reads "i know two things: i'm queer as fuck and you're an asshole" in the middle
sighs