So You’re Engaged...What’s Next?
Congratulations! You just got engaged and I am sure you are excited to start planning. Planning a wedding can be very overwhelming. You read this, you hear that. There are tons of magazines, websites, not to mention all of the crazy wedding shows. How is anyone supposed to know what to do? All the while, you are really thinking “Holy Wedding Vows! Will someone just please tell me where to start?”
My first piece of advice is that not everything you read or hear is from a TRUE professional. Leave it to the experts to guide you. Your BFF that helped plan her sister’s cousin’s wedding in her backyard......NOT a professional. A lot of people like to think they are experts and refer to themselves as “Wedding Planners” because it's easy to do that. It doesn't legally require special training to say you are one. However, I can assure you it does take passion and years of experience and patience to become a wedding expert. So trust me when I tell you that it's okay that you have no idea where to begin. There are plenty of amazing and talented wedding pros that can provide the guidance you need.
Enjoy this moment and shout it from the roof tops! Announce your engagement to your family and friends. Relax and just celebrate this special time together.
I know you are excited and the first thing you want to do is call every location and look at flowers and dresses and get ideas. This could very well be the cause of becoming overwhelmed during planning. T.M.I. Overload! Too Much Information! It can happen. Stop, breathe, and follow these simple steps that I am certain will help you plan the beautiful wedding you want and deserve....while helping maintain your sanity.
I feel strongly that one of first steps after engagement should be a discussion with one another on how you both envision your special day. Most women have dreamed about their wedding day since they were a child, others have not. Many men would rather the bride make the decisions, other men like to get involved with the planning. It's probably something you haven't talked about before since you are newly engaged.
Do you want a big wedding with grand décor or do prefer a small civil ceremony with sand between your toes?
Regardless of your vision, the bride and groom both need to be on the same page.
Let's be realistic. Have you thought about it? There is no need to start making any phone calls to venues, florists, photographers, etc. if you haven't considered your budget. You must know what you can spend on your wedding before you request information. Otherwise, you waste your time and the vendor’s time. Refer back to T.M.I. You have just gotten information that you don't need until you determine your budget. Who is paying for the wedding? How much do you have over-all? Now take that number and do a little research on the average prices for wedding flowers, disc jockeys, bands, wedding planners, and any other professional services you need. Once you have an idea of those things, break your budget down for each element of your wedding so you can see where you may need to adjust.
I like to refer to my personal reality as “Champagne Taste on a Beer Budget” because it perfectly describes me. I always want more than I can truly afford, and I am determined to find a way to make it happen. It’s an unhealthy obsession. If I can use my personal issues to help other people, then I feel good about it. So now you know your vision and your budget. Realistically can you afford your vision? Don't let that sound discouraging. You want to be honest with yourself or the wedding planning process will become stressful. Planning your wedding is a happy time and should be fun. Some people have “The Sky's the Limit” budgets, but that is not true for most couples. Some have modest yet strict budgets and others have petit budgets. Whatever your situation may be, just be honest with it and know what you can realistically afford. Clearly, planning with an unlimited budget makes it all very simple. Well, there are a lot of very simple steps you can take to create the wedding of your dreams with a smaller budget too. For instance, consider a Mid-Sunday afternoon wedding. It can be very cost effective. Plan after lunch and before dinner so you eliminate the need for a large meal. You just have to be open to fresh new ideas.
You have a vision, determined the budget, and had a reality check. Now it’s time to view locations that will correspond with it all. Start visiting websites first and review them thoroughly. The internet is great because most companies provide an abundance of information online to save people time. I love it because I will know right away if it works for me and then I can move on. If you feel it's a site that might be a nice match, schedule an appointment to view it and meet the Manager. Before you do, you should share your vision and your financial plan. This helps them to better assist you by making recommendations to help you stay within your budget.
You might be wondering why the date falls so far down the list. Well, why would pick a date and then have to piece everything else in around it? Most dates can be adjusted and you should always be flexible. I realize that sometimes that a date is the most important thing for various reasons. Then by all means, pick the date first. I can just promise you if you fall in love with a location that is not available on that date, it will become a difficult decision. A date should be flexible for you as it is never flexible for the venue.
I feel very strongly that you should choose your location and your date before you start contacting other professionals. The facility may have their own vendors they recommend or in some cases require. The manager of the facility will guide you on this. If they do allow you use your own professionals please keep in mind that those that they suggest, they do for good reason. They are experts that they have worked with and trust. They are also familiar with their venue and that is an added bonus.
As a Professional Wedding Consultant I want to tell you that you absolutely need to hire one. However, that really wouldn't be fair. It totally depends on the size of your wedding and your wedding party. If you have a very large party and expect a large number of guests, the value of a consultant is priceless. Their duties can range from assisting you with your budget, venue, invitations, etc. to just having someone assist you on the day itself to ease a little stress and make it run smoothly. Only you can determine that need and its value to you. I will offer a suggestion, there are no “Cookie-Cutter Weddings” and there is no such thing as “Day Of Coordination”. Every wedding is unique and you don't want to hire someone for your special day that has no true idea of who you are or what your vision for your wedding is. Be wary and choose a true expert. We only get one shot at your wedding day, we don't get do-over’s. Ensure you hire someone experienced.
With these few tips, I think you are well on your way to planning a beautiful and successful day. Congratulations, have fun and I wish you the best!