Okay, so I may or may not be totally freaking out right now because I have been working on this song under wraps for a little while, mostly because I didn’t want to get hyped up over it already, but my friends who wanted to work on it with me just told me they got someone to do a little rap verse on it. And not just like, some random person, but.....someone I literally used to listen to all the time. He said he liked it and had a verse or two in mind to add in during the bridge and I’m so happy I want to run through the streets of L.A.
Okay, enough gushing about my excitement, I hope everyone has been having a great kick off to pride. I rode so many roller coasters that I still feel dizzy today.
Something was terribly wrong, she could feel it, and as silence filled the air...she had to finally say something.
The way the blonde barely acknowledged her when she’s stopped by his place, not even bothering to pause whatever video game he had been playing upon her arrival as she laid a small kiss to his temple. It’d been about eight months into their relationship, and things were different, a shift almost in how they used to be, and honestly it scared her to death.
She was trying to make it work, honestly she was. Dani could look past small things, not texting back until way later, not seeing him for a few days, even the nights he went out and didn’t come home until God knows what time....she’d bit her tongue. But being flat right ignored to her face? Well, that made her brain go haywire. It was as if every dark thought about who she was, how she was, came flooding back in her brain.
You’re annoying. He hates you. He’s using you. You’ll never be enough. You’ll always be alone. As if you stood a chance.
You’re broken.
The limbo back and forth in her brain had her staring into space, not that he noticed or probably care, but she was frozen in her head. She hadn’t felt like this in a while, palms sweating as her stomach turned over itself, heart beating in her chest with worry as she momentarily gave into her thoughts. What if it was true? Dani viewed herself as broken parts, when she’d met Michael she was confident and strong, but as time progressed in their relationship she felt herself changing. He constantly had her thinking about if he meant anything he said, actions often not matching to his words, and it sent her into a tailspin of becoming someone she didn’t wasn’t sure she was anymore.
“Hey....” Her voice was soft, careful as she stared at the back of his head, teeth nibbling on her lesser lip as she waited for a response. But radio silence was all she heard back, and she looked down at her hands, picking at her nails nervously. The raven haired girl leaned over, tapping him on the shoulder as she tried again for the attention she so badly craved, lighting up slightly when he took his headphones off even if it was a little bit aggressive in his motions.
“What’s up, I’m kind of in the middle of something.” His voice was short, stare expressionless as he looked at her, which made the light she just obtained dim quickly.
“I just.....haven’t seen you all week, just wanted to see how it’s going. I know you’ve been busy so.....just curious is all? Did you finally tell-”
“I’ve been fine, nothing too exciting to tell.”
Silence.
After a few seconds, he offered a short smile and slipped his headphones back on, making the smaller girl nod to herself. She was feeling her insecurity slip away, a slight annoyance now crossing her face as she stood up, walking over to the TV and pressing the power button.
“What the fuck?” The boy groaned, voice sharp as he looked up at her, furrowing his brows in anger while finally giving her the most emotion she’d gotten from him all week.
Hands resting on her hips, she shook her head, giving him almost the same expression back down to him from where she stood. “What the fuck is right, Michael, what the fuck is going on with you?!” She finally said, tossing her hands up as she let out a heavy breath, “You’re literally acting like I’m not even here.”
A scoff left his lips as he looked up at her, staying sat with annoyance still all over his expression. “Really, Dani? I’m fucking sorry I want some alone time, I’ve had a long week, I had shit to do, I just want to be alone is that so fucking hard to understand?” He spat, talking down to her almost in his tone while looking through her the whole time.
“I haven’t seen you in a week, Michael!”
“I don’t fucking care how long it’s been, I want to be alone!”
His voice was loud, piercing the air as Dani shrunk back down to size, feeling just as small as her frame as she pursed her lips together with tears flooding her eyes and stinging them as she tilted her head back to blink them away. Finally looking back at him, she cleared her throat, “Why are you acting like you don’t want me around anymore?”
And without missing a beat, his reply hit her in the chest, shattering her from inside out.
Granted her knowledge on sports was limited, Dani was still thrilled about coming to this game, especially since she was invited to the event personally this time. Black tube top was now layered under an unbuttoned jersey over her small shoulders, long black waves hidden under a baseball cap as she hand a cup full of a cold draft she’d snagged not to long ago. Her focus, surprisingly, was on the game. All she really knew about was softball, from the short stint she played, and she knew it was similar to this but still she followed along best to her ability. As she heard the crack of a bat connecting to a ball, sending it flying, she bounced to her feet, “Go!!!!” She yelled, alongside others who began to cheer, unable to stop from bouncing on her toes and cheering as he ran all the way to the second base. “Fuck yes!” The small raven haired girl screamed with a huge grin, turning to Sam, “Did you see that? Wow, I totally get this whole....sports shit now, no wonder you like this so much.”
