#weird tricks

[fractiousrvt]

Behold, my homeopathic* snakes

They're on the washing machine, and eventually the dryer, in order to jiggle them into hopefully remembering (just like homeopathy!*) that they NEED TO EAT TO LIVE.

No one knows why, but a decent percentage of non-feeders will eat after they've been shipped somewhere new. As such, people began trying to simulate being shipped and rides on the washer/dryer or going on a long car ride have done the trick. Most of the snakes in this box have refused 3 or 4 meals. Hopefully I can get more wanting to eat tomorrow.

* homeopathy is literally prayer and magic. You dilute it in absurd amounts of water and shake it at a particular frequency so that... that water... an element of change and malleability and purification... will remember the properties of the initial thing and, in fact, have a stronger memory the more diluted it is.... 20 year old Wiccan me is still infuriated with the illogic of the very concept

[imaginationhyperload]

Imagine muggleborn students showing purebloods and half bloods weird body/hypermobility tricks like touching their tongues to their noses and putting their legs behind their heads and stuff.

-Muggleborn kids constantly being sent to the hospital wing because the non-muggleborns students and teachers think that they’ve injured themselves when they really haven’t.

-Severus Snape thought that the student he found doing the reverse prayer pose had been exposed to an illegally brewed faulty potion or a spell gone wrong and takes points off before sending the student off to Madam Pomphrey. Snape is baffled when the student comes back an hour later and says that the mediwitch found nothing wrong.

-Syble Trelawney faints the first time she witnesses a student hyperextend their arms beyond 180 degrees.

-Muggleborn kids helping other kids learn that they can do the tricks too.

-The houses having flexibility contests and talent shows to show off what they’ve learned to do.

-The teachers eventually even pick up the tricks.

-Severus Snape being that one dude that figures out how to raise one eyebrow independently.

- Minerva McGonagall figuring out that she can bend her thumbs overs to touch her wrists.

-Dumbledore doing tongue clovers.

[yetibaba]

[awkward-pause]

Joe Lopez, 2005

[listing-to-port]

Eight weird tricks

1. Put cling film over the shaft of a haunted well and then summon the hellspawn that lurks within, so that you and your gang of peasants are splattered with molten cling film when the unholy fires of that which mankind had hoped was forever buried bursts forth.

2. Travel back in time and jump out from behind a tree on your past self, causing a humorous rift in the space time continuum.

3. Show how you can make cards disappear from one place and reappear in another by making the bank cards of the world disappear from the wallets of the world and appear in a giant ziggurat of melted plastic at the South Pole.

4. Glue a valuable antique coin to the plug that stops the seas from draining into the Earth's hollow core and wait for your nearest avaricious submersible to come along and pull on it.

5. Steal the number five and hold it hostage in a walnut shell watched over by a hungry crow. Show it videos of the chaos that its absence causes at mathematical conferences and convenience stores, film its reaction, and post the videos on YouTube.

6. Place a cursed ring which will transform the wearer into a fish inside the stomach of a fish in a city made entirely from fish frozen in the fifth dimension in fish-space.

7. Fill the office cubicle of a colleague with the shattered hopes and dreams of a million lifetimes.

8. Convince friends and family that an alien spacecraft has landed by committing one of the seventeen unforgivable crimes according to the Intergalactic Convention on Common Planetary Standards and offering up your friends and family to the enforcement team as a bail bond.

[mnoperalover]

THAT MOMENT WHEN

You are in Opera Class and your instructor has everyone sound like gorillas to prove a point.. But i learned today... if you inhale like you're choking while holding a broom on your shoulders...you sing better 😊

[the-rat-den]

Creation is accidental

[weirdnessisgood]

How?