#weird-dreams

[comfybirb]

Dream Diary: McDonald's Chaos and the Great Shitsplosion

this dream started with me being cajoled into attending a jehovah’s witness book study on their interpretation of the bible book of daniel. seriously, nothing to gain here—this book was hackneyed when it came out and hasn’t been updated with the org’s “new light” in over 20 years. still, i reluctantly agreed and got into the car with my grumbling dad.

five minutes down the road, i realized i was missing my shoes and my copy of the book. dad turned the minivan around, grumbling even more, and i ran up to the house—without keys, of course. i went back to the car, and dad handed me the spikiest, most uncomfortable keys i’ve ever seen. i thanked him, but not without having a violent impulse: if i heard him being abusive to my mom, i was coming back with a shotgun.

inside the house, i started searching for my book when nature called, urgently. i didn’t make it to the toilet, and to make matters worse, a friend’s bunny was also present, adding its own mess to the disaster. between the two of us, the house was a war zone. thankfully, i found some spray (shoutout to nature’s miracle, #notsponsored) and started cleaning up. at some point, dad drove off in the car—good riddance. later, my across-the-street neighbor, gary, showed up and started helping. together, we cleaned up the disaster from every horizontal carpeted surface, and i managed to take a quick shower.

when my family returned from the book study, blissfully unaware of the “shitsplosion” that had occurred, i offered to pick up dinner to make up for almost making them late. predictably, they wanted mcdonald’s.

so there i was, back in my hometown mcdonald’s—but this time, at least by choice. i noticed i was wearing a gray, blocky shirt, and so were all the employees. realizing this, i said, “you have got to be fucking kidding me,” and gained partial awareness. while waiting in line to order, i saw a kid struggling with the mcflurry machine. i gave up my spot in line and tried to clock in at one of the registers—it failed, of course, since i hadn’t worked there in over 20 years!

kicking myself, i went to help the kid with his mcflurry anyway. after getting the mess sorted, i got back to the customer side of the counter before a manager could spot me. as a bonus, i helped myself to the overly oreo-filled mcflurry the kid had messed up. after all, that’s officially recognized mcdonald’s system training, and that mess doesn’t happen for free. just as i was about to take a bite, i woke up.

[comfybirb]

Dream Diary: Slushy Roads, Feds, and Ominous Numbers

last night’s dream had me riding in the back of an fbi van, but not as a prisoner—just a passenger. the agents seemed pleasant enough, but the conditions they were driving in were anything but. it was a whiteout, the roads were slushy, and every time a truck passed, it blasted filthy muck all over the windshield. the wipers barely managed to clear it, leaving streaks behind, and the driver was cursing a blue streak, reaching one hand out the open window to try wiping it clean.

the agents were dressed in these old-school blue denim windbreakers with faded yellow fbi text—practical, but clearly worn out. the van itself felt like it had seen better days, adding to the sense that these guys were just scraping by with the resources they had. despite that, i got the distinct feeling they were doing something incredibly important for me, even though the whole setup—weather, gear, vehicle—felt like it was just barely holding together.

at one point, i noticed a bright amber seven-segment display mounted at the top center of the windshield. it displayed the number "6," glowing brightly and reflecting off the faces of everyone in the van. i’m not sure what it meant, but it felt significant—like a timer, a countdown, or a marker of something urgent. the dream ended with that same sense of importance mixed with struggle, as if the agents were on a critical mission but just barely managing to push through the storm.

[comfybirb]

Dream Diary: Mall Madness - Sunglasses, Cards, and Cheesy Mashed Potatoes

last night’s dream took me to a shopping mall on a bright, sunny day. one of the first things i did was buy a pair of sunglasses—blue-framed, pretty ugly, and way overpriced at $30 given their flimsy plastic construction. for some reason, i was also wearing a red baseball cap backward, which added to the odd look. as i went inside, i passed what looked like a starbucks, but their menu included ice cream. just past that was a bank of vending machines, and then i found myself deeper into the mall at a game shop holding a trading card tournament. i was there to play, but the details of the game were hazy. at one point, my deck got shuffled together with my opponent’s deck intentionally, but since his cards were in blue or yellow sleeves and mine were red, it wasn’t hard to separate them again. i woke up shortly after entering the store, with no memory of the game’s outcome.

when i fell back asleep, i picked up where i left off—on my way out of the mall. i stopped by the starbucks, and an employee recognized me, saying, “vanilla bean frap?” (my favorite irl). while waiting in line, two notable things happened. first, a late-teen boy commented that backward baseball caps were out of style and offered to adjust mine. he loosened the band and put it back on slightly cocked to the right. i thanked him, and he said “nbd” before leaving. he wasn’t particularly remarkable except for wearing a white ball cap, a red-and-white basketball jersey, and matching red shorts.

the second thing was less pleasant. while waiting, i reached into my pocket for the sunglasses i’d bought earlier and found them broken—a mistake i’ve made irl way too many times. i couldn’t help but feel annoyed, but at least it was on-brand for how those flimsy shades were destined to end.

on my way out of the mall, i passed that same bank of vending machines. one in particular caught my attention—it sold squeeze pouches of cheesy mashed potatoes. curiosity got the better of me, so i bought one, but i woke up before i could actually try it. honestly, it seemed like it would’ve been gross, but i guess i’ll never know.

[comfybirb]

Dream Diary: The Judge's Steps

in this dream, i was a child sneaking through an ornate courtroom while court was in session. the whole room was decked out in dark wood and intricate carvings, giving it a heavy, almost sacred vibe. somehow, i managed to slip behind the judge’s raised platform without being seen. there was a door back there, which i assumed led to the judge’s chambers, so i opened it.

instead of a simple room, i found a wooden staircase leading downwards, made from the same rich, dark wood as the rest of the courtroom. each step had a word carved into it, large and bold, like qualities you’d want in a good judge—JUSTICE, COMPASSION, LISTENING, FAIRNESS, and others. descending those steps felt significant, like i was moving deeper into the heart of what justice truly is, even though i couldn’t shake the feeling that i wasn’t supposed to be there, like i was trespassing in a sacred space.

at the bottom of the staircase was the judge’s chambers, but surprisingly, they were unremarkable. it was a modest office, very wooden, with large bookcases crammed full of legal books behind a sturdy wooden desk. a comfy-looking brown leather chair sat behind it, practical and welcoming in contrast to the grandeur above. from the office, two more staircases led back up, angled to the left and right, like there were multiple ways to return to the surface. that’s where the dream ended, leaving me with a sense of awe and mystery.

[comfybirb]

Dream Diary: Sunbeams and Belly Laughs

last night’s dream dropped me into an unfamiliar house—maybe a friend’s place or a vacation rental. the vibe was relaxed, almost cozy, and the highlight? the house had a pet possum. this little guy was hanging out in a corner, nestled into a pile of towels, exuding lazy-kitty energy. naturally, i wanted to play with him, so i called out to ask if it was okay. a female voice answered from another room, saying it was fine but to make sure to support his rear end.

when i picked him up, he was totally chill, but i noticed something odd—he was wearing a mask that covered the upper part of his face, complete with dark lenses over his eyes. when i asked what it was for, the same voice replied that the mask was to protect his sensitive eyes from the sun. fair enough. after holding him for a moment, i placed him on the bed nearby, where he stretched out luxuriously in a sunbeam. classic lazy possum move.

also in the dream was my ex-girlfriend. at one point, i tickled her belly, and she squirmed and giggled so much her shirt rode up, giving me a, uh, pleasant view. it was playful and lighthearted, fitting right in with the chill vibe of the whole scene.

[comfybirb]

Dream Diary: Pizza Wars - Fired and Hired

last night’s dream took me back into a chaotic strip mall scenario—one that might have been tied to the same setting as my earlier ps2 odyssey. naturally, the golden arches made their appearance somewhere nearby, because my subconscious can’t seem to resist throwing mcdonald’s into the mix.

the dream started with me working at what i was sure was a little caesars pizza. i was on my way out for a delivery when i got into an argument with the boss, a generic, unpleasant fat lady. no idea what it was about, but it ended with her firing me on the spot. unbothered, i shrugged it off and walked next door to a domino’s. i asked the manager—a generic, energetic, middle-aged guy—if they needed an experienced delivery driver. turns out they did, and i was hired on the spot. talk about convenience.

they handed me an order and an address, and i went back to my tesla (which i actually own irl). before heading out, i had to return inside a couple of times to grab drinks and other items that weren’t in the hot bag. there was even some back-and-forth about whether i needed change or a car topper—the manager clearly wanted me out the door asap.

just as i was getting into the car to leave, the dream ended. it felt like a weirdly satisfying little narrative—navigating conflict, pivoting effortlessly, and diving back into the kind of fast-paced delivery work i actually enjoyed back when i worked at domino’s irl. the little caesars bit was funny, though, since afaik they don’t even do delivery. leave it to my subconscious to rewrite reality for the sake of a plot twist.