Fandom fic thoughts no one asked for:
I am highly, highly against Wednesday having any dialogue in which she speaks like her parents to her loved ones, i.e. all of that "Mon cher!" garbage towards Enid. It's cringey:
1. It's traditionally romantic and excessively cheesy, and [Ortega's] Wednesday is not. She just isn't, and y'all should know better. ETA: In regards to love, her parents are like Pepe Le Pew and a willing/enamored skunk (I forget if Pepe ever found his equal, but I do remember the girl cat got 🧠 'ed into behaving like Pepe usually does, which gave him a taste of his own psycho stalker medicine...ah, we had some fkd up cartoons back in the day). Wednesday would be like Michigan J. Frog...animated with only one person, in private...and that's still not a guarantee that she would ever want to emulate her mother, with whom we know that there are severe issues between them. Ridiculous, exaggerated displays of affection define Gomez and Morticia. To have Wednesday behave like that would be sacrificing the one thing that keeps her from turning into a total clone of them.
She can end up wanting to have love and a partner, and even a family, but that does not change the public mask [of a narcissist], and the notion that she would be perceived exactly like her mother upsets her. Direct reasons aren't given by the show, but by how they interact, we can see that Wednesday believes that 'everything is a competition'...but it's not [Morticia's] accomplishments that she rattles off that are the problem; it's somewhere, Wednesday picked up some terrible, terrible "I'm not good enough, I will never be as good as she is" blows to her psyche. From Wednesday's POV, she believes her mother is a narcissist (her self-awareness of her own narcissism is for its own post); only a narcissist would purposefully break someone else's chances of either being equal to or surpassing their greatness, and they get envious (and ego hurt) when it happens.
(...God, now I wanna program Ortega's voice to sing the fkn frog's song 🤣💀)
2. She doesn't want to be like her parents, and that would just...make her be more like her parents. This is the most major personal growth theme in the whole of the show, and it can't be ignored, otherwise it just turns Ortega's Wednesday into a generic iteration of a 'Wednesday character'. If it were one drabble or fic, alright, that's AU, but I see it in nine out of ten Wenclair 'drabbles' (if you can call straight-on dialogue shorts drabbles...we did not, back in the day) that clog up my fyp.
3. Her parents are extremely cultured and speak those love languages/romance languages as a whole together, to each other. Enid is not that kind of cultured at all (she can't spell, has bad grammar, and is just not interested in the same things Wednesday is). Enid would think it was cute, too, and Wednesday doesn't do cute, either (ever! EVER.**).
4. Again, Wednesday doesn't want to be like her parents, and it would be unfunnily mortifying to her to speak like that in public and in front of other people, even if she were fucking Enid. In private? See #1 and 2.
5. In Afterburn: It pained me to have her let slip the Spanish to Donovan on her birthday, but I did it because it was an unintentional slip, it was in private, and it wasn't a pet name, it was a command. She is very much like her mother in bed, but she also knows that Donovan isn't as cultured as her parents, and thus, she will refrain from that "mon cher/mon amour/whatever non-English pet names" crap.
6. There are so many other things Wednesday could call Enid (or Tyler, or Xavier, or whoever the Hell's she's paired with) without becoming a clone of her mother. Resorting to Gomez and Morticia's horribly cloying phrases is not charming, it's laziness. *channeling my inner Bianca here*
7. Now this goes back to #2 and #4, but on that note: There are obvious issues between Wednesday and her mother, and sounding like her disturbs the Hell out of her (or behaving like her, which is why Wednesday's eyes just about shit themselves in different directions when Fester said that her "death stare of disapproval reminded him of her mother").
It's almost like she has a glass eye.👀 It's there bc the AI picked it up hard I guess & it affected my outputs.
There is no way in Hell, no matter how juicy-tasty Enid's furry twat is, that Wednesday would suddenly decide that she should mimic Morticia.
I know all of this is gonna piss off a whole lot of people, but I don't care. It's not Wednesdaying right to have her call anyone by the same pet names her parents use, no matter how fluffy the relationship is. She just doesn't do relationships the same way her parents do. It's far more OOC to do that than even my pairing her up with Donovan is (which needs its own reasoning, probably in a different rant).
Rant over, and y'all can keep goin', but that's not gonna make the dialogue sound any less terrible and embarrassing.
**Afterburn Wednesday does do 'cute' with Donovan in private, but it's because of the fundamental differences from N/Canon attached to her core personality, i.e. she's hypersexual and has some regression issues here and there. Even still, she has a very hard time calling him any pet names because once again for those in the back: She does not want to be like her parents or associate her love with her parents' love, even as she recognizes that she is a lot like her mother. 🤷🏽♂️
(Also, I just read an incorrect assumption. Morgues have blood samples. They don't keep whole ass blood bags like blood banks/hospitals do. Get that right before you write me some Yoko & Wednesday.)