There were so many pretty girls at work today I was having gay panic attacks

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There were so many pretty girls at work today I was having gay panic attacks
I love when you try to genuinely give advice to a fellow witch then you get called a santanist and are accused of being in a cult, what even is life?
Unspoken Expectations
Does anyone else spend an inordinate amount of time pondering about what life could look like and should look like, what you’re missing in order to get there and how unrealistic that is?
Because I do and I’m going to lose my mind.
For those of you confused, let me clarify.
I want to be successful. My idea of what successful looks like has changed over the years. At one point it meant going to college, then it was finishing college, then it was finding my first job and now it’s finding that passion which ignites my creativity. At the moment, I do not have that last bit. I’m doing a job that’s helping people and I like that part, but there’s also sales involved and that, THAT ALONE, drives me bonkers with anxiety.
In terms of what I have determined life should look like is more of doing things that make you happy, stop doing the things that don’t bring any level of joy and stop doing anxiety inducing activities. Realistically though, how many people actually achieve this and if they do, HOW??
Also, what is with this unspoken expectation to ALWAYS be productive. Like taking breaks, taking a pause to really reflect makes you lazy? And maybe it does, but why is that wrong? Who wrote the damn rules? I have some questions!
And sales, why is doing sales so terrifying? I literally get filled with anxiety. The words escape me. Then I get brief moments of bravery and if I don’t sieze the day, the courage is gone just as quick as it came! Annoying AF. I can’t seem tot get to the root of it though. Why does it cause me such panic, anguish, despair. It’s literally as though my body goes in fight or flight mode. Why do I let it have so much power over me? What can I do to actually overcome it? Is the only solution to just do it? Because that solution sucks A$^.
Alright thoughts of the day closed out. Who am I kidding these are thoughts of every day, but we’ll attempt to move past them for the rest of this Sunday.
Bom dia, esse troço eh da saga: fiz dois anos atrás e esqueci completamente q isso existia até hj. . . . . . . . . #idkwhatimdoing #whatevenislife #someonesendhelp #photoshop #monstrocity #monstruosidade #nemeusei (em Inferno) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCB49xkAk3W/?igshid=c61fwh9t0ecg
404 ability to flirt not found
Here's how my life is going rn... (*/ω\*) How about you? Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑) Hm... #fml #KamikazePlants #WhatEvenIsLife #WhyMe #Whhhhhhyyyyyyyyy #Plants https://www.instagram.com/p/B3v246Ug2Ur/?igshid=g3tth1qupkl1
Gotta start that work day off right! #crunchberries #workfam #whatevenislife @douglaswilbur https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz53U-uFbQPp0-Cexx8JXCaGwpDjtFs0o980DY0/?igshid=gz3xozo8o0q
Damn.
Seems like the person I choose to be is conflicting with what I feel am. Not sure which is genuinely me.