ill teenage girl
For the past two years I´ve been feeling extremly tired and fatigued and overall in pain, but for some reason i tought it was normal and everyone felt that way so i never told anyone how awfull i always felt. But recently that feeling had became worser and impated my life in all possible ways. At this moment I can´t do anything without being in constante pain, tiredness and stress, so i decided to finally tell my mom because i became aware that the way i felt and the way i was living my life was everything but healthy and normal. I gave her a list with all of the symptoms i had and suprisingly she showed concern, wich was weird because i was sure i was just being dramatic, I also told her that I´ve did some digging and my symptoms match POTS symptoms peerfectly. Looking trought all the books, websites and videos felt like I was playing bing, every new symptom it said it was also something I felt on a daily basis.
My mom booked a lot of appointments, and consoults, and exams, and a buch of other stuff so I can be diagnosed. I already know I have tachycardia and hypermobility wich sucks to live with but feels so good to know about it and be able to do something, the problem is that those two dieseses don´t explain everything I feel so we´re still searching.
Tomorow i have an orthopedic consoult and I´m so nervous. I always get nervous with doctors because i forget what I wanted to say so I seem like some annoying little kid who only wanted to ditch school and the doctors start talking in a way like they know what I feel better than me and that I actualy don´t feel pain and it´s all in my head, and as a sensitive and easily maniputated person that makes me think they could be right and I´m only doing all of this to get attention after all they´r professionals and know what they are doing so who am I do question? But then I think why would i fake feeling like shit 24/7, not being able to hang out with my friends, struggling to do the most basic things, getting bad results at school because I cant focus, feeling nausea the entire time and wayyy more things????
WHY WOULD I BE FAKING THIS????????????????
Tomorow I´m going to a doctor I´ve never been before so I´ll be praying he´s able to do his job and help me feel a little bit better.