"Don't Call Me Daniels" (Part 1)
“Daniels? Shit, Daniels. It is you! How you doing Major?” Finn freezes, his glass half raised to his lips. “It’s been forever. How’s the girl?”
“Harrison.” He breathes, letting out the breath he didn't realise he'd been holding.
“Hey, man. It’s been a while.”
“A while?” Harrison scoffs as he pulls Finn into a half hug. “You disappeared on us Major.”
“Its- uh - its Finn. Not Major anymore.”
“Sure, okay. How’s the kid?”
“Amelia’s good, nearly four now.”
“Shit, really? God, I remember when she was born.”
“Yeah,” Finn can't help the proud smile spreading across his face. “Best news you guys had on base for a week.”
They lapse into comfortable silence,
“You gonna introduce us to your friend, Finn?” Sam appears beside Finn, Alex in tow as usual.
“Carlos Harrison, used to be part of Daniels’ squadron.” He stuck his hand out for Sam to shake,
“Wait-” Sam looked between the pair. “You two fought together?”
“We did until Daniels up and outed on us.”
“He's always been like this. Keeps himself to himself, full of secrets. Bet he hasn't told you jack about serving.” Harrison grinned, leaning toward Sam
“It’s not our place to ask.” Alex mutters from behind Sam as he refused to meet Harrison’s eye
“You ever hear when he saved all our asses?
“‘It wasn’t like that.” Finn whispered.
“It was. Daniels was a godsend.”
“I didn’t -” He was cut off again.
Saved my life more times than I care to admit.” Harrison waved off Finn’s comment. “The whole unit owe him our lives.”
Finn gave in, and checked out of the conversation as Harrison kept talking.
Charlie's nudge dragged him back to the present. He manages a weak smile in response and attempts to pay attention; laugh at this anecdote, smile at another. In. Out. Breathe.
“Has Daniels ever told you about the time he saved half our unit?”
“Finn doesn't like talking about it.” Alex speaks up, wringing his hands.
“Aw, come on, Major! Where's the fun in that?”
“No, Charlie. It's fine.” His smile doesn't reach his eyes.
Finn had spent enough time in a psychologist’s office to recognise the feeling spreading in his bones. Shit.
“-9 of us and it went off probably one of the worst-”
There are 7 drips of condensation down his glass.
“-Daniels wasn't meant to be with us but Arthur-”
Even with his eyes forced closed, there's too much blood.
3 dead. He can't save them.
“Finn? Tom just messaged. He needs us to go pick him up.” Finn doesn't (can’t) focus on Charlie. How can he focus on him when there's four dead under his hands?
“Right. Come on, we got to go. Sam, Alex you okay getting a ride off Liam? Good. Bye.”
Finn lets himself be led out by the hand on his shoulder. That bleed is not going to stop. He needs to move on.
The cold air shocks Finn, causing his step to falter. Charlie plays it off as he turns to wave at the guys left. Sam and Alex are still hanging onto Harrison's every word.
“You okay?” The silence is an answer in itself. “You're gonna be fine. We'll just get you to the car, then home, and then we can deal with it. Okay?”
Finn stumbles again as someone shuts their car door, hand shooting to the wall to steady himself. They can’t attack again.
“Finn, you're okay. Just a car. It's not far to the car, and then home?” Charlie is no longer sure if he's repeating it to comfort himself or Finn.
Another car pulls up, the passengers slamming the doors shut in quick succession. Finn drops to his knees with a groan, hand rubbing against his chest. It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.
“Shit. Finn? Finn. It's okay. You're okay.”
He continues to slide away until his back hits the wall before dragging his knees up to his chest. Charlie crouches in front of him, keeping his hand on Finn's arm.
“Finn? Come on mate. You're alright.” He doesn't have the energy to look at Charlie, instead turning his hand over in front of his face before dropping his head between his knees with a low groan. It’s all his fault, and now half his team are dead and-
“You can't sit here, Finn. We can do this at the base, but we need to get you home. And to do that, we need to get up.”
It takes too long for the medevac to come. They lose another guy overnight. The remaining team try to help, but they’re injured too. It’s Finn’s fault anyway, so he should do it.
He doesn't flinch when Charlie moves his hand to under Finn's arm, doesn't even seem to acknowledge that someone else is there. He’s the last to leave, refusing to go before the others, ensuring they get their injuries checked.
“Finn, I'm going to help you up and then get you to the car.” He's interrupted by Finn's soft keening. “Okay. I'm getting you up. We gotta go.”
By the time Finn had been manhandled into a reasonably upright position, people were starting to stare. Finn's quiet begging wasn't helping either, desperate nonsense and whispered bargaining. He does, at least, grab onto Charlie's clothes to try and steady himself, as his surroundings keep flickering. Finn can’t stand by himself, darkness fogging his vision as he pitches forward. “Major!”
He gets heavier against Charlie's side as they walk, the usual five minutes turned into a half hour. There's brief moments of recognition in his eyes, a muttered apology before his reality shifts again and he's thrown back into whatever hell he's reliving. There are too many people touching him, holding him down, and he can’t breathe. Hasn’t got the air to tell them.
Finn is shoved into the passenger's side (it's not graceful, and Jack would definitely tell him off for it) and instructed to put his seat belt on. It takes another moment of blank stares for Finn to comply, still looking warily at his hands and the lack of blood across his chest.
“Daniels. Stay awake. None of you saw this?” It’s getting easier to lose focus, let himself go. “Daniels! You do not get to choose this. What about Amelia? Daniels-”
Jack ends up on speaker halfway through the drive home, Charlie trying to update him without worrying either one of them. Finn mutters to something as Charlie talks, Jack picking up on the panicked desperation from the medic. Amelia. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
“I've just got Finn. Yes, we're fine physically. No, nobody's injured. Liam's taking them home.”
Finn braces himself against the dash, trying to force air into his lungs. He reaches for the door handle as Charlie glances over at him. He can’t breathe. He’s got to get out, to do something.
“Finn! What are you doing?” Charlie's hand is too tight against his wrist, and he whines. “No, come on, Finn. Sit back for me, yeah? You're alright.”
“Don’t mind us, Jack, we're just deciding that we don't want to be in the car while I'm driving.” His shaking laugh betrays his cool words. “Didn't think I was that bad at driving, Finn.”
Charlie knows better than to keep touching him, so he gently loosens his grip, telling him he's alright, breathe, in...out, hes okay. He’s okay?
“Gon’ sick.” (Charlie was sure he wasn't that bad a driver)
“That's okay. We've got a dish in the back from Sam. I'm just reaching behind you, okay?”
Once the dish had been placed in Finn's lap, and he'd stared through it enough, he resumed sitting, unmoving, in silence.
He'd stopped reacting to Charlie's comments, no longer any recognition when he spoke.
Jack meets the pair on the driveway as Charlie is trying to help him out the car. Finn has his head in his hands, his fingers pulling at his hair; he’s hyperventilating, each breath coming with a pained gasp and the tightening of his fists.
“Can you do your seat belt, Finn?” He waits, already knowing the response he’s going to get. “Okay, I’m gonna do it then.”
Charlie reaches over as he unclips it, feeling the tremors in Finn’s muscles. He’s closer than he’d like to be, especially while Finn is like this.
“Hey, Finn. It’s Jack. We gonna get you in?” There’s still nothing from Finn, so Jack tries again. Unsurprisingly, he gets the same response.
“He’s been like this for the better part of half an hour. It’s just been getting worse. He’s not here, not at all.” Charlie’s hushed tones go straight over Finn’s head while Jack chews on his lip in concern.
“Finn, we’re going to get you out. Charlie’s gonna get one side and I’m gonna be on the other, and we’ll get you to bed.”
Together, they manage to swing his legs out and stand him up. They let Finn balance for a second, a frown etched on his face, before gently pulling on his elbow. He’s shaky on his feet, and they’re mainly carrying him, but he’s moving, and that’s all that Jack cares about right now.
Each door closing behind them elicits a flinch and a whimper out of him, trying to pull himself out of their arms. By the time they’ve reached Finn’s room they’re exhausted.
“Do you have keys Finn?” Jack pauses out of courtesy before continuing, “I’m going to check your pockets, that okay? There we go..let’s get you in.”
Finn drops onto his bed, curling up and pulling the cover over his head.
“I’m going to sort the car out if you don’t need me anymore?”
“That’s fine, Charlie. Thanks.” Jack perches on the end of Finn’s bed. “Can I get you anything Finn? I’m gonna get you some water, and then some snacks for later if you feel up for it? I’ll just be a minute. Your door’s unlocked.”
There’s still no response from Finn, but he seems more comfortable hiding in his bed, so Jack doesn’t feel as guilty leaving him
