Hallucinations - Whumptober Day 22
"We're going to get you up, and then you can put them on, okay?"
Alex nods, clutching the clothes tightly to his chest. It had been a long time since he'd had anything of his own, anything new that wasn't going to be used against him. He's pulled from bad memories by the nurse gently squeezing his leg.
"If you swing your legs round, we'll get you stood up and then into the chair."
Moving hurts, but he won't tell them that. Instead, he bites his tongue and complies, tentatively placing his feet on the floor.
"How's that feeling Alex? You okay?"
"Yeah, sorry about that. Once you're dressed it will feel better. Can you stand up?"
It's the first time in at least a month he's stood up. His legs protest, but he pushes through. If he's ever going to get out, he's got to get up.
The nurse and Liam both hover close by, ready to catch him if he falls, but he manages to get upright, even with his disused muscles protesting. He manages the couple of steps to the chair, only stumbling a little before gratefully sinking down onto the seat.
"Well done Alex. Let's get you into your clothes."
He can't help but shake with the effort, tucking his arms into his side to hide it. Jack is still asleep, and Liam catches Alex looking.
"It's alright. We won't be long, and we'll be coming right back."
"Of course not. He'll be glad you'll be more comfortable.”
"Do you think you would be able to do it yourself, Alex? Or do you want me to help you?" Panic flashes across his face. "It's okay. You can do it yourself. We'll pull the curtain and we'll just be on the other side."
Slightly more satisfied that they won't have to see him, he nodded as she pulled the curtain around the bed. He sits for a moment, preparing himself. With the hoodie still resting on his knees, he shrugs the gown off. The scars run down his shoulders, his arms, his back. He can feel them with each movement, each breath. They'll fade, he knows that, but they'll always be there.
He manages to get his clothes on before he starts sobbing, his hand clutched over his mouth to try to silence them.
"Alex? You okay?" Liam pulls the curtain back when he doesn't respond. "Shit."
Alex is curled up with his back against the wall, the chair pushed hastily aside. He's muttering to nobody, words forming and dying on his lips. Neither the nurse or Liam move.
"Get Jack." Liam turns back to Alex, crouching down in front of him, but out of reach. "Alex? It's Liam. You're okay."
Alex's bare feet slip against the floor, trying to scramble away, still not looking at Liam.
"Bud? What's going on?" Jack, still half asleep, appears at Liam's shoulder. "You're in the hospital. You're safe."
"I don't know. He just...this." Liam shrugs. "He was getting changed and then he started sobbing and now this."
"That's okay. Alex? How about we get you off the floor? Bit more comfortable?" Jack edges forward, arm outstretched. "Bud? Come on."
Alex screams as Jack gets closer, his voice cracking as he begs him to get away. His hands cover his head, protecting his face.
"Alex, you're safe. You need to calm down."
"Please...not again...I'm sorry...no...please"
Jack doesn't think the boy can get any smaller against the wall, but somehow he manages it, the hoodie drowning him as he tucks his knees further into his chest.
Alex continues his pleading, each cry of "no" becoming more desperate.
There's suddenly a team full of people in the room, pushing the pair out of the way. Jack recognises the doctor from earlier, who he'd persuaded not to sedate. This time, as Alex tries to get away, as he lashes out at the staff and himself, he doesn't stop him.
Alex keeps begging. Even as the sedation takes hold, as the fight slowly leaves him, he begs. Jack can no longer understand his cries, but he can hear their desperation.
He stays out of the way as they lift Alex back onto the bed and begin to reconnect the wires. Liam gently steers him out of the room, with a soft promise of coffee and a firm hand on his back.
Soft cuffs are clipped around his limbs again, a mask carefully slipped over his face. He's faintly aware of the machines beeping and something forced into his mouth again but he can't quite catch his breath and he doesn't really care.
"Alex? Stay with us, kid. Come on." The doctor rubbed at Alex's chest again. He's briefly aware that he's not wearing any clothes, and his heart sinks. He thought he was free from that.
Rough hands force him onto his side, their fingers trailing down his back. He whimpers against the plastic in his mouth, trying to pull away from the pain in his side.
There's another, sharper pain in his chest and he cries out, properly this time. He's stopped begging for it to stop and instead calls for Jack, the only safety he's known.
Everything burns, but he can't breathe, can't tell them, can't
"It's okay, bud. It's over. You're alright."
