#wincestsecretsanta

[castielsstarr]

A Different Trial

Merry Wincest Secret Santa to @desperatesammy (who it won’t let me tag appropriately)! I saw that you like mpreg and Season 8 annnnd I kind of just ran with it and ended up here. I hope you like it!

Rating:Teen and Up Pairing: Wincest (obvs) Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Mpreg, Alpha Dean, Omega Sam, Alternate Universe-Canon Divergence, Season 8, Trials

Read on AO3: HERE

When the vomiting started, Sam thought it was just another side effect of the trials. First, he was coughing up blood, it only seemed that this was a logical next step. The exhaustion had taken over his body and it only got worse each day. He wasn’t sleeping hardly at all, which was the explanation for that.

There were all these thoughts plaguing his head at night while he was trying to rest. Images of evils, memories from when they were kids, biblical fantasies. Everything swirling around just made him sicker, more worried. The trials weren’t supposed to be easy, but Sam didn’t know they were going to take this much out of him either.

Worst was this feeling that kept haunting him. The thought that he wasn’t good enough, strong enough. Sam wasn’t about to tell Dean, but he was afraid that these trials would best him. Sure, he was going to fight—he wasn’t one to just give up—but what if he failed?

Dean wanted them to go on more cases, and Sam had agreed, but he didn’t feel good about it. With the way he was feeling now, if they went on a hunt, he could screw up so severely, and the consequences of that could affect Dean. He couldn’t be responsible for the death of his brother.

God, he needed to stop thinking like that. Thinking too much about all this was upsetting his stomach and it wasn’t what he needed. He had already thrown up twice that morning and once after lunch. His nerves were just too jumpy. He took a deep breath to try and settle down. When that didn’t help, he leaned over the toilet bowl again to empty what little remained in his stomach.

It was at the point these days where he started feeling better if he just let it happen. Then at least he could get up and walk around for a few hours before he would end up back in the bathroom. His brother had gone on a couple solo hunts, so he hadn’t been around to see this yet and he wasn’t about to tell him. Dean would just say that omegas typically were weaker and then he would lecture about how Sam should have let him take on the trials instead. Same bullshit, different day.

As the next wave of nausea hit, he heard the door to their bedroom open and the only person it could have been was Dean. It was too late to pretend this wasn’t happening as he dry heaved, one hand gripped tight to the white ring of the seat, the other clutched to his stomach. He coughed and choked his way through it.

Dean was next to him in an instant and Sam could kick himself for not shutting and locking the door. “Hey, hey, hey, Sammy. You’re ok. Just breathe.” Strong hands gently stroked along his back and shoulders. It only made it worse and Sam held up a hand to show Dean to back away. His brother growled at him, alpha instinct not allowing him to be told what to do.

Sam caught his breath. “I’m fine, Dean. Just don’t touch me for a second.” His stomach turned again, but he was able to breathe through it. This was ok. He was fine now. Sam sat back against the wall and relaxed some. “Ok, better.”

“Come on, let’s get you to bed, omega.” Dean tried to get his arms around Sam to lift him, but Sam fought his hands away.

“I can stand on my own. I’m not helpless, you know.” He dragged himself to his feet by grabbing onto the sink counter and hauling his weight up. His feet and stomach lurched simultaneously, but he was able to settle both. It was obnoxious how Dean still had his hands out close to Sam, to catch him if he stumbled.

By the time Sam made it over to the bed, Dean had already pulled back their covers, moved the small trash can next to it and was stacking the pillows, so that Sam would be propped up. He came back over to his mate’s side and slid a hand over the small of his back. Sam bristled at the touch, but Dean didn’t back away.

When Sam tried to turn himself toward the door of their bedroom, Dean cut in front of him and directed him back toward the bed. Nothing really pissed him off more than a bossy alpha, and though it wasn’t verbal, those growls and the touching was enough.

“Dean, stop. Stop with the growling, stop with the touching, stop with the fucking babying. I’ve been feeling a little sick off and on for a few days. It’s not a big deal. I think it’s just another side effect of the trials. You can bitch at me all you want for taking on this, but I needed to. And I can handle this. Just… stop, ok?”

His brother actually hesitated for the first time since he had come home and took a step back. “Alright, no problem. Will you please just get back in bed and rest for a while? You look pale still and I don’t want you passing out.”

“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it because I’m still tired,” Sam complained with a pointed glare at the alpha as he shuffled toward the bed and sat down.

It was a risky move right now, but Dean ran his hand over Sam’s arm, getting him to relax back into the pillows as he pulled the covers up. “I’ll be right back, Sammy. I’m going to get you something to drink. Are you able to stomach juice?”

Juice sounded good. The sugar would be able to get the horrid bile taste out of his mouth. Sam nodded and when Dean came back with a tall glass of apple juice, he actually whispered a small thank you. He felt kind of bad for being so short with his brother. The next thing he said was, “I’m sorry.”

Dean smiled. “It’s ok. Do you want me to stay and hang out with you for a while? We could watch a movie until you fall back asleep?”

Yeah, he wanted that a lot. Sam nodded and Dean set up Fight Club, a movie Sam had seen hundreds of times practically, before crawling onto the bed beside him. Sam had downed the glass of juice in small sips and then curled onto his side, facing away. Dean stayed outside of the covers, giving his mate some space. He had taken care of his younger brother when they were little, one of those times when he was puking his guts out the morning after his 21st birthday. Dean hadn’t stayed far enough out of the way and when he tried to comfort his hurling brother, he got punched in the nuts. Not an experience he was willing to repeat.

Ten minutes into the film, Sam shifted a little bit, rolling over onto his back. It left his shoulder touching Dean’s. “Can I touch you, omega? You won’t try to hit me?” He teased.

“You can touch me only if you stop calling me ‘omega’,” Sam huffed. Dean put his hand on Sam’s stomach and rubbed gently, soothingly. Every once in a while Sam liked it when he was feeling sick. He wasn’t pushed away, so he figured he was ok.

Dean was quiet. Tried to think before speaking. “Why don’t you want me to call you that? Usually you like it.”

Sam shrugged and didn’t look at him. “You’re only using it today because you see me as weak. Whether you mean to or not, you’re belittling me. You don’t think I can do these trials. And you keep treating me as if I’m going to break. My stomach’s just a little messed up right now.”

His hand came to a stop low on Sam’s belly. He didn’t… No, it wasn’t possible. How could Sam not tell? “Sam, I do think you can complete these trials. That’s not what this is about.”

“Then, what is it?”

Shit, what was he supposed to say? Dean didn’t want to just throw this news at him. “Ok, so, promise you won’t freak, cool?” Sam gave him a bitch glare and Dean took a deep breath, spreading his fingers out to cover as much of Sam’s skin. “You aren’t sick to your stomach because of the trials. I could smell the difference as soon as I walked in. They say that sometimes mated omegas won’t be able to tell that their scent has changed at all. It’s a perfectly natural thing.”

Sam still looked confused.

“It’s not the trials. It’s morning sickness.”

“But, I… I’ve had it at times other than morning.”

“It’s a misnomer. Morning sickness can happen anytime during the day.”

The omega sat eerily still, staring at Dean’s hand on his stomach. “I’m… I’m pregnant?”

“Sure as shit are, Sammy.”

“Do you…” He swallowed thickly and it made Dean uncomfortable how nervous Sam was about this. He should have been happy. Sam tried the sentence again. “Do you want a pup?”

Dean rolled over onto his side, pressing his body along the entire length of Sam’s. “I want as many pups as you’ll give me. Especially this one that you’ve already got going. So, can you please do me a favor and take it easy for a while?”

Sam nodded and tucked his nose into his mate’s hair, inhaling the clean scent that was starting to calm his nerves. They would have to find a way to complete the trials, and with Sam being pregnant, it wasn’t going to be easy. But, for right now he was going to do what his alpha wanted. He was going to not stress about this, rest, and finish watching the end of the movie.

[impalawanderlust]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Fandom: Supernatural Pairing: Sam/Dean Rating: Mature Summary: Sam's high school reading of Flowers in the Attic has unexpected and far-reaching consequences for his relationship with his brother. Written for @houxvertetbruyere for the Wincest Secret Santa 2015.

[womanoflettersinthebunker]

My Whole Life

Deans always known that he was sick in the head, he's known ever since he was a kid and first realized that... He meant that ever since he started puberty and that... That didn't make anything better now that he thought about it, might even make things worse when he really thought about it. Oh the hell of it. Dean is sick in the head for a multitude of reasons. The first and foremost being that, despite everything they've been through and everything they've seen and everything that... He's rambling, he knows that he is. He usually gets like that when he trying to get to the core of his thoughts and what he actually feels and in all honesty what he's trying to hide and... Maybe he could find a way to blame it on the time during he spent in hell, maybe that knocked a few more screws loose inside of him than he originally thought and that's the answer. Except he could easily draw the origins and the beginnings of everything back to way before hell. Before he made the deal, before even Stanford, and really is it really his fault and can it really be... He's getting off the topic, again. He does that a lot, especially when it comes to anything having to deal with his... "Hey Dean?" Sam called, his voice breaking Dean out of his thoughts and making him look up from his burger. "What's up Sammy?" he asked, leaning back in his seat. Sam gestured to the plate in front of him. "Are you alright? You've barely eaten anything." He glanced down at his plate, realizing that Sam was right, one and a half bites of the burger and the fries were untouched. He forced a grin on his face and tried to look at Sam reassuringly. "I'm fine Sam." he told him. He's been trying to hide that fact almost his entire life. He's been afraid of it almost his entire life as well. He's been- "Dean?" Sam called once more. "Yeah Sam?" Dean responded, raising an eyebrow at him. "Lost in your thoughts?" he asked, smiling softly at him. Dean smiled back, reaching out to grab the ketchup bottle and almost drown his fries in it. That he's in love with his brother. "Yeah Sammy." he said drawing one of the fries out and popping it into his mouth. "Just really lost in thought."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Dean really wanted to think about it, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to hell and face Alistair on the rack once more rather than go into deep thought about this, he might be able to pinpoint the source and the origin he might, maybe and even then he's pointing some sort of finger, at the night that their mom died and his dad placed Sammy into his arms and told him to "Take Sammy outside as fast as you can and don't look back." He'd like to blame their dad for putting so much responsibility onto him and so much of everything onto his small shoulders, the later years didn't help at all either since he was responsible for looking after Sammy, if that meant that in the beginning he had to be the one to feed and diaper and change Sammy while their dad was God knows where and later on hunting and looking for answers on what happened to mom, it later became that he would lay down his life for Sammys in a heartbeat. Ever since the fire Sammy had become the number one person in his life. He was the reason he started to smile and talk again after watching their house burn down in flames with their mom inside with it. He was the reason, and really the fact that he was putting so much into an infant at such a young age should have been a giant glaring red sign but apparently their dad wasn't paying attention at the time, but Sammy became the reason that he was able to get up in the morning and why he was able to get through each day. It was all rather pure back then, before puberty at least. There wasn't any sort of sexual feelings or desires or wishes for release of any sort. That came later. But the only thing, the only thing that prevented him from all but stabbing himself in the chest to try to make sure that he didn't do something like molest Sam in both of their sleep or something was that it started way back then. Back when it was all hugs and comforting Sammy when he had a nightmare and kisses on the cheeks or the foreheads. Smoothing out the curls and knots in his hair and bandaging scraps and wounds from the playground. It was simple and pure love for his brother, feeling his chest warm up when Sammy would grin up at him, a small gap in between his teeth showing that he had lost one tooth. How his face would light up whenever Dean would take his lunch break at school to sneak into the lower grades and would see him. Everything changed however once he started puberty. Suddenly, it seemed at least, everything was about his dick and about what he could do to get it off. It so didn't help that they were still sharing one bed, their dads attempt at finding various ways to save money. Sam was still small enough to fit into his arms, and he took as much advantage of that as he could, the little bastard; he loved him. Sam loved sleeping in the same bed together, would jump into the middle of it and sit there, blinking his precious hazel eyes up at Dean, his hair flopping in front of his face. Sammy loved curling up close to him, sleeping right next to one another to the point that they could feel each others heartbeats through their chests and shirts. And unfortunately to his confused and constantly horny dick it meant a warm body to rut up against in the dead of night and the early morning before he could wake up and really understand what his body was doing. Every morning that it happened the second he realized just what his body was doing his eyes would snap open and he jump off of the bed and into the bathroom almost in a single leap, leaving behind a very confused and still half asleep Sammy on the bed. He would lock the door, lean against it with all of his might, and he would try to finish in the bathroom, thinking of anything else besides his little brother and how nice he felt against his own body. So Dean would like nothing more than hormones to blame for what he felt but as Sam continued to grow, turning from Sammy to Sam, although he would always be Sammy to him no matter how many times he would protest the nickname. He turned from a scared little boy to a stubborn as hell teenager and then a standing tall and proud man. And if anything, his feelings and whatever the hell the emotions that were going through him were, grew along with Sam as he continued to grow. And eventually so did his shame and guilt he was feeling. And the worst part? The absolute worst part was that nothing he did manage to make the feelings go away. He went to countless bars and tried to drown his feelings and liver in alcohol and he took every willing woman and man to his bed in an attempt to chase those not right feelings out of him. He tried to substitute the feelings, give them a different outlet to focus on rather than his brother. Towards the end of Sammys teenage years he started to take more people into his bed that resembled Sam in some sort of way. Either the right shade of hazel eyes or brown hair, dimples when they smiled, or simply a light in their eyes that reminded him of Sam. Once Sam left for Stanford he breathed out a small sigh of relief, despite how his heart was twisting in his chest and making it hard to breathe, he was going to blame that entirely on all the alcohol and maybe he got some sort of STD from one of his barmates, he hoped at least because that would make it a little bit better than feeling as if his entire being was being ripped out because his little brother had left the family for college. However Dean realized, with such a clear clarity and revelation that left nothing for the imagination and nothing to even second guess when everything that he managed to push back into the deepest and darkest corners of his mind, to the point where he would sometimes only rarely think about it when his thoughts wavered to about Sam was the night when he broke into Sams apartment, fought with him, and pinned him to the ground with a "Whoa, easy tiger." And he knew that he was double screwed when Sam turned it around and pinned him to the ground instead, the feeling of his brother on top of him stirred sleeping feelings inside of him that he hadn't even realized and he quickly scurried out from under Sam before any part of him could come and stand at attention. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was simultaneously better and worse being back on the road with Sammy once more. Better because he had something to distract himself, Sam was mourning after Jessica and swearing to get revenge for her death, something Dean wouldn't deny him; he'd never been good at denying Sammy anything. Worse because they were pinned at the hips once more, pinned together as only two people who spent all their time together in almost every way but sexual. They lived in each others pockets, lines blurring together as they would catch each other in every state of undress either because of showers or wounds that needed to be patched up or the few times one of them, mostly and at times mainly Dean. He needed those distractions more than anything now that he had so much more to see of Sam and those few glimpses that left nothing to the imagination. Although at the same time he was starting to go to bars less and less, flirting with girls less and less, spending more and more time with his brother and more by his side. Often times he would have to stop himself from reaching out to wrap his arm around Sams waist, pulling it back to just in time to slide it into his back pocket instead. He would sometimes lean forward as if to kiss Sams cheek or something, maybe his lips a corner of his mind would tell him, but always immediately pull back and crack some sort of joke instead. It really shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone really when he sold his soul for Sam to come back to life. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The four months, the forty years, he spent in hell weren't that bad physically, he could handle pain and if he couldn't well, he would just close his eyes and try to pretend he was somewhere else. When they ripped off his eyelids so he couldn't that anymore he just tried to think of better things. It was the mental torture that was worse than anything else. Hell, and especially Alistair, was a master of torture and that was never limited to just physical tortures. Hell was just a whole bit optical illusion really, nothing was really concrete and nothing really had a shape of its own, another way of torture if they could look like someone else that would rip straight to the core of the persons being. At first Alistair liked to take dads shape, his image and his voice down to a perfection. But he had accepted a long time ago just how badly dad screwed up with them, how much crap that he had put on them, mostly him, so within a few short months, hell time of course, he managed to block out Alistairs attempts of his dad completely. Everything changed however when he used Sam instead. He broke almost immediately He thought that at least the image of his brother, the subject of his affections for so long, torturing and hurting and breaking him entirely would at least be able to wipe away whatever he felt for Sam. He knew that was wrong the moment he hugged Sam after forty years in hell and realized that Alistair had never really gotten his smile or his eyes just right. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dean grunted as Sam dug his thumb into his shoulder and fought the urge to pull away from him. "Stop whining, I need to do this before your muscles lock up." Sam repeated to him as he pressed again in the same spot. "Doesn't mean that I need to like it." Dean mumbled as he tried to roll his shoulders back and groaned at the pain. Sam tightened his grip on his other shoulder. "Stop moving." he said. "You're going to make it worse." Dean sighed through his nose and tried to remain still even as it felt that Sam was digging his fingers into his nerves. He let his mind wander slightly, a part of him enjoying that Sams hands were on him and touching him, even through a shirt. He'd more or less made his peace with being in love with his brother, its been years and they've been through a fuckton, to say the least, and there were always something more important to focus on. "One of the reasons this hurts so much, is that you're really tense." Sam said, rubbing the heel of his palm against the back of Deans neck. "Seriously tense, I'm surprised that you haven't snapped in two yet." Another grunt was his only answer, he didn't want to talk or think about anything besides Sams hands on him and imprinting the entire thing to memory as best as he could. "When was the last time you got laid?" Sam asked suddenly. The question was so sudden and out of nowhere that Dean opened his eyes and turned his head to look at his brother. "What?" "When was the last time you had sex?" Sam repeated, staring at him. "You haven't gone out in ages, I've noticed Dean, and if you had sex, you might not be as tense and rigid." "What happened to respecting partners and not going after them just for sex or looking at them like pieces of meat?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow. Sam rolled his eyes and pressed harder on the pressure point making Dean yelp. "I still mean that but I know you, you do respect your partners, yes I said partners you're not as slick as you think you are I know all about the guys. I don't like doing that but that's me. I know you." Dean just stared at him in slight surprise, towards the end he hadn't really been hiding the fact that he swung both ways but he still thought he had some sort of secrets from his brother, especially since he never said anything. "So maybe if you have sex, you'll be a bit more...looser and not as rigid." Sam continued and finished with a nod. Dean opened his mouth and closed it, grinding his teeth together as he searched for the right words. Some of the words were that it wasn't any of Sams business. Some of them were that he just didn't need it as much as Sam thought he had needed it. Some of them were just simply that he wanted his brother and no one else would suffice. That in all honesty he just couldn't imagine ever going to bed with anyone else besides his brother no matter how sick or how wrong that sounded. That he was willing to not have sex for the rest of his life, no problem, because he couldn't help but keep imagining his brother and that wasn't fair to his partner. "I'm fine Sam." he finally said, turning again to stare straight ahead. "Just hurry up and set my back straight so I can get to sleep." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everything came to a head when they were on a hunt one day and things went south quicker than the engine on the impala. They had been hunting a rouge werewolf, something that was always hard for Sam because each werewolf reminded him of Madison. This one had been a fast one too, moving faster than any other werewolf they had faced before and Dean barely managed to get two shots in, neither one of them even coming close to touching it. The only thing that really managed to shake him to the core was when he saw the werewolf jump and land on Sam, its jaws snapping too damn close to Sams throat, claws in his chest, and before he could even blink he had brought his gun up and shot three times, each one landing in the things heart and killing it almost instantly. "Sam!" Dean shouted, running to his brother and skidding to a halt next to him. His brother had pushed the corpse off of him and was gasping for breath, eyes wide with adrenaline and fear. "Sam, are you alright? Did he bite you?" Dean demanded, reaching out to cup and touch Sams face and down to his chest, feeling around for wounds or blood. Sam shook his head, breathing slowly evening out as slowly he started to calm down. "I'm okay." he said, smiling softly as he did. "I'm alright, barely touched me." Dean would never be able to fully admit the feeling of relief that would go through him every time he learned that Sam wasn't hurt and was okay, every wound that his brother got almost felt like a failure of the worst kind, he would have preferred that he had gotten hurt instead. It was why he would almost always try to throw himself in front of whatever was going to hurt him but those times he failed, it was almost worse than his time in hell because this, this was real. Taking a deep breath to try to steady his nerves he felt a small chuckle escape him and within a few seconds he started to laugh, one arm curling around his stomach and the other still on Sams chest. He felt Sam start to laugh as well before he heard him. Soon enough the both of them were laughing hard, their entire bodies shaking until there were tears gathering in the corners of their eyes and they couldn't breathe again. "Why are we laughing?" Sam asked, when they had a moment to breath and try to talk. Dean shook his head. "I don't know." he said and they were laughing again, leaning on each other and laughing until they weren't making a single sound and they were gasping for breath. Still grinning he looked up at his brother and felt his breath get caught in his throat. The full moon was shining on them from above and just helped to illuminate all of Sams features, the light in his eyes and just how almost perfect his hair fell in front of his face. He would always tease and joke about Sams hair and its length but in all honesty, it suited his brother more than anything. His face was soft and relaxed as he stared at Dean with a small smile still tugging at his lips. Sam tilted his head slightly. "Dean?" he asked softly. Forgetting everything, forgetting everything he had ever told himself and every barrier he had set up and every last bit he ever thought Dean leaned forward, closed the remaining distance, and kissed his brother on the lips. Sams lips were softer than he ever imagined, soft and easy and with just a flick of his tongue parted easily as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, their tongues curling around one anothers with a small moan as he pressed closer to him and- His eyes snapped open and he tore himself away in horror, one hand coming up to his mouth as he pushed himself back against the ground to give Sam more space. Sam opened his eyes as well and his tongue slid along his bottom lip, obviously tasting Dean there. "Why did you stop?" he asked softly. "I....what?" Dean asked, his eyes wide and his heart hammering in his chest. "Why did you stop?" he repeated. Dean slowly brought his hand down as he stared at Sam incredulously. Sam raised an eyebrow at him. "Dean." he said, gently as if he believed that Dean was made of glass and needed to be handled with care. "I've known for a long time, you don't need to be scared about it and you don't need to be so damn scared. You never had to be." Years of being ashamed and years of hiding and years of hating himself flew past his eyes at that moment. "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked in a hard almost angry whisper. "Because you needed to do it first." Sam said, still in that soft gentle voice. "Because you never would've accepted just me doing it, you needed to realize it yourself and realize that it was okay and you can do it." He smiled and crawled over to Dean, crossing the remaining distance. "Because I know you and you needed to make that first move. And I've been waiting a long, long" he leaned forward and his breathe ghosted over Deans lips. "time for this." This time Sam pressed his lips to Deans and moaned at the feeling, one hand coming up to course his fingers through Deans short hair, pulling the strands at the ends before tightening and pressing Dean closer. It was everything Dean had wanted and more than he had ever hoped. He ripped away from the kiss but brought his hands up to grasp Sams shirt tightly. "There's no way you've been wanting this longer than I have." he rasped. "And I am pissed off at you." Sam grinned and leaned in to kiss him again. "Yeah." he breathed, almost moaned out, "What are you going to do Dean? Spank me?" "Don't tempt me brat." Dean grounded out as he wrapped his arm around Sams waist to pull him into his lap and kiss him once more, unable to get his fill of the kiss. "Well don't threaten me with a good time if you don't intend to deliver." Sam shot back. Dean tightened his hold on Sam and grounded up into him, causing Sam to moan hard. "Gotta get back...to the motel." Sam gasped out, grinding down against Dean. "Don't wanna do this on the forest floor." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Later, after all the touches and kisses, after the caresses and the tastings, when they were lying spent in the bed, curled up together and listening to each others heartbeats Sam decided to talk. "So how long?" he asked, looking down at Dean. "Mm?" Dean sounded, not entirely sure of anything at the moment. Sam nudged at him. "How long?" he repeated. "You said that there was no way I had wanted this longer than you have, so how long have you wanted this?" Dean breathed out through his nose and looked up at Sam. "You first." he said. "You tell me first." Sam smiled and seemed to decide to amuse him for the time being. "I was a kid, I think I was about six or seven." he said, playing with the hairs on the back of Deans neck. "And we were talking about getting married and people spending the rest of their lives together. I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, no one else could even hope to compare and I guess...that feeling just never really went away." He leaned down and kissed the top of Deans head. "Still hadn't, your turn." He considered lying and saying something similar, or something different. He thought about saying that he had realized it when Sam started to show interest in other people and how he would get jealous. He thought about saying almost anything else other than the truth. But anything else seemed almost like a slap in the face, the lie that it was and Dean never, ever wanted to lie to his brother ever again. So he looked up at Sam, leaned up to kiss him softly, one hand cupping the side of Sams face, and whispered against his lips. "My whole damn life."

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Casye I hope you like this, personally speaking I am not one hundred percent happy with the way that it turned out but at the same time I couldn’t really find anything to change in it. XD You said you liked pining!Dean with a Sam that was still in love with Dean and misunderstandings and discovery and by goodness I hope I delivered.

Happy Christmas and a very Happy New Year my dear! 

[ilovejared]

The One Less Traveled By

  This was written for veganwincest as part of the Wincest Secret Santa exchange. I started this over three times and I’m still not sure about it. You said you liked pining Sam(lots of that), younger Winchesters(17 & 21) and smutty brother touching(A WHOLE LOT OF THAT). It’s way smuttier than anything I’ve ever written. EXPLICIT. Anyway, I hope you like it!!*blows a kiss then crosses fingers*

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     Christmas Eve had started out clear and bitter cold. The thin sunlight providing no warmth and, as the day went on, even those meager rays were obscured by thick gray clouds, heavy with snow.

     Sam watched the gathering storm from inside the small efficiency apartment Dad had rented back in August. It was Sam’s senior year in high school, so his father had conceded to his wish to remain in one place this school year. It had been lonely at times because Dean and Dad had been on several hunts but that was changing

    A second concession had been  made. Dean was going to spend the remainder of the school year with Sam. His brother had a job lined up at a local garage to help with necessities and Dad would come home when he could.

    To make things even better, Dad had called last night and told Sam that his brother would be on his way home tomorrow so that the brothers would be together at Christmas. Sam had tried to keep the excitement out of his voice as he talked to his father.

    “I’m sorry I won’t be coming home with Dean, son, but Bobby and I are going north on a hunt. I know you understand, Sam.” 

    Of course, he understood. Lives were at stake and that always took precedence over everything.

    “It’s fine, Dad. Really.” Sam paused. The thing was, he really was fine with it. He loved his Dad but their relationship had changed over the past few years and not for the better.

    And he would have Dean to himself.

    “You and Bobby be careful, Dad. And Merry Christmas.”

    “Merry Christmas, Sam.” John cleared his throat and, for a moment, Sam thought his father was going to say something else but, instead, he heard muffled laughter and then an excited voice in his ear.

   “Sammy! You miss me little brother?” Dean’s voice took on that special tone that he reserved for Sam alone. The one that sent shivers down Sam’s spine.

   Closing his eyes, Sam took a deep breath before answering. “Nah. It’s nice to not to have to fight you for the shower.”

    He was proud of how casual he sounded.

    “I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon”, Dean laughed. “Save me some hot water, bitch.”

     “Drive careful, jerk.” Sam broke the connection and took a deep breath.

     It would be just him and Dean. Not that it hadn’t been just them before but things were different now.

     Or at least he hoped they would be.

     The wind was picking up and snowflakes were beginning to fall, thick and fast. They swooped and swirled through the air in a dizzying pattern, mirroring Sam’s own emotional turmoil that had been brewing for months.

    Oh be honest, Sam thought to himself. He had been building up to this moment for years.

    He had begun the day in a bustle of activity. When Dad and Dean had left right after Thanksgiving, John had prepaid the rent and utilities and had left Sam with a credit card to purchase groceries and essentials. Sam knew how to stretch money but what Dad had given him left nothing for extras. Like Christmas decorations.

     Sam was smart and the jocks at Carson City High School knew it. Sam had picked up some extra cash writing term papers for a few of the football players who didn’t want to lose their chance to take the field in the playoffs.

    It was this money that Sam took into town with him on Christmas Eve morning. His first stop was a tree lot where he purchased a small Christmas tree with with his carefully hoarded earnings. On to the dollar store, where he was able to purchase lights and a few ornaments to decorate with.

   At the grocery store, he purchased a full deli dinner that included rotisserie chicken, mashed potatoes and the piece de resistance, a fresh-baked apple pie.

   He wanted to give Dean a Christmas with all the trimmings. He had only a few dollars left after he was done at the local FoodMart. That was okay because he wasn’t planning on buying Dean a gift.

    Sam was planning, instead, to offer himself to his brother. His body, his heart, all that he had.

    He sighed as he looked at the Christmas tree, decorated with twinkling lights and colorful ornaments. It lent the sparse room a warm glow. He hoped that Dean would accept the gift Sam was offering.

     It was everything Sam had to give. The only thing that he truly owned was himself. And he had saved himself for Dean. 

      He had been thirteen, gasping awake with his brother’s name on his lips, pleasure flooding his body and he had realized that he wanted, he needed, his older brother in ways that he shouldn’t.

    Shame had been fleeting, though. What about the Winchester’s life could be termed normal?

     Over the last four years, he had learned to live with his secret. No matter how much he ached to kiss, to touch, to take. These were the things he allowed himself to do only in his dreams, whether waking or while he slept.

     He knew he could never let Dean know how he felt. Dean was his big brother, his protector and he knew Dean loved him fiercely. But Dean was not in love with his little brother.

    That was Sam’s cross to bear. And he would be able to bear it as long as Dean was part of his life.

    Surely, the Dean Winchester who loved to relate tales of his sexual prowess with a multitude of willing females to his little brother would be horrified to learn that same little brother relived those stories later. In his bed, sometimes with Dean not three feet away, Sam imagined his big brother doing all manner of erotic acts with him, to him, and would bite the inside of his cheek bloody in an effort to stifle his moans as he came, hot and wet over his own hand.

      But in the last few months, there had been signs that maybe, just maybe, Dean might not be as horrified as Sam had originally thought.

     And, there had been signs that, perhaps, time could be Sam’s greatest enemy.

     During the summer months, the Winchester men hunted together. This past summer, all it took for Sam’s world to fall apart was a Wendigo, a jammed flare gun and Dean lying bloody and still on the forest floor. Sam had screamed Dean’s name as he rushed at the Wendigo that had injured his brother. His flare gun found it’s mark and John had found Sam carrying Dean in his arms as tears streaked down his face.

     In the time it had taken for Dean to recover, Sam had not left his side. Dean had become tired of his hovering but Sam didn’t care. The injuries had been bad enough for John to drive at a ridiculously high speed to the local hospital and, on some level, Dean understood that Sam needed to be close to him. He needed to be able to see for himself, that Dean was alive and well. That he hadn’t lost him.

     Finally, Dean had yelled at him to go take a shower or something so he could he get a few minutes of peace. The harsh words had been softened with a tired smile and Dean had squeezed Sam’s hand lightly.

    “Come on, Sammy. You need to get some rest. You look worse than I do.”

    It had taken all of Sam’s will power to not bring Dean’s hand to his lips, to not breathe out everything he felt in a rush of emotion.

    Sam had decided one thing, though. He needed to find some way to tell Dean he was in love with him before he lost the chance to do so.

    Still, he had been afraid of how Dean would react. So he started to pay close attention to how Dean responded to certain situations. His big brother no longer hugged him close as he had when he was younger. When Sam tried to wrap himself around him, Dean would push him away with a laugh and a manly slap on the shoulder. He had noticed Dean watching him a little closer, especially when he walked through the room in just his boxers or in a towel after a shower. Maybe, Dean was noticing that Sam was adding some muscle to his long limbs. That, at seventeen, Sam had was taller than his big brother. That he wasn’t quite as gangly and awkward as he used to be. Or maybe, it was all a product of wishful thinking.

     Except, Sam didn’t think it was because of what he thought of as “The Incident.”

     It had happened a few weeks ago, right before Dean and Dad had left on his latest hunt. Sam had been unable to sleep. He had turned on his side and faced his brother who was sleeping in the opposite bed. He lay there several moments, eyes adjusting to the meager light and he realized that Dean wasn’t asleep.

    He was jerking off. 

    Sam had felt his own cock stiffen as he watched Dean’s hand move inside his boxers. He could see Dean bite at his bottom lip as he stroked himself fast and rough. 

     Biting his own lip as he palmed at his hard dick, Sam thought he might come just by listening to the breathy whimpers that Dean was making. A few more rough pulls and Dean gasped.

     “Ah god....Sam....Sammy.....” 

     Hearing his brother choke out his name as he came was all it took for Sam to reach his own orgasm almost untouched. 

     Sam lay still while Dean removed his boxers using them to wipe his hand and stomach clean. Then, he listened as his brothers ragged breathing evened out into slumber.

    Over the next few weeks, Sam replayed that moment over and over in his mind. What he had heard had not been the result of wishful thinking or a dream.

     Dean had been jerking off while thinking of Sam.

     Even now, sitting in the light of the Christmas tree, waiting for Dean to come home to him, thinking about those four words was enough to make Sam hard as a rock.

     Ah god......Sam......Sammy

    For the last four years, he had convinced himself that he would spend the rest of his life loving his brother, wanting his brother, but never being able to have him.

     It was funny how things worked out sometimes.

     Two days later, his father and brother had left and Sam had been left to ponder the working of the universe in regards to incestuous relationships between brothers.

     Even the Intro to Poetry paper he had been finishing for the school’s star running back had made him think that maybe it was time for him to take a chance.

     It was time to take the road less traveled by.

     Headlights cut through the falling snow to shine in the small picture window where Sam sat. He watched as Dean climbed out of the impala, grabbed a six-pack of beer from the back seat along with his duffel, and stomped his way to the front door.

     Then, his big brother was there, right in front of him, laughing and smiling, and, as always, larger than life.

    “Heya, Sammy!” His green eyes widened with delight as took in the decorated Christmas tree. “You got us a Christmas tree? Awesome! Where’d you get the money?” Dean looked at his little brother speculatively. “By-the- book Sammy Winchester didn’t steal it, did you?”

    “No! Of course not, Dean!” Sam exclaimed, feigning exasperation. “I have money.”

    Dean dropped is duffel on the floor, holding out one hand, palm out, in Sam’s direction. “Okay, okay. I believe you.” He looked sideways at Sam, lips curled in a cocky grin that made Sam’s heart beat faster. “Don’t throw one of your bitch fits.”

   Rolling his eyes, Sam stifled the urge to blurt out everything right then and there. Instead, he walked over and wrapped his arms around Dean, not caring that this was something they hardly did any more. He felt Dean stiffen slightly as he pulled him tight, then felt his brother relax and wrap one arm around his shoulders.

    They stood that way for a moment, then Dean patted Sam’s back lightly. Clearing his throat, he walked to the kitchen. “You feelin’ okay, Sammy?”

    Before Sam could answer, Dean opened the little refrigerator to dispense with the six-pack in his hand.

    “Whoa, Sammy! Christmas dinner?” He bent over to get a better look. In a reverent tone, he asked, “Is that apple pie?”

     Sam chuckled. “Yeah, jerk, and it’s all for you. Merry Christmas.”

     Closing the door to the fridge, Dean turned to look at Sam and, this time, his eyes were soft. “Merry Christmas, little brother.” He looked down at his hands. “But I didn’t have time to get you anything.”

     You’re here, Dean. You’re all I need.

     Instead of speaking his heart, Sam smiled, dimples flashing. “Hey, the pie may be all yours but I’m eating my fill of Christmas dinner.”

     Dean brightened visibly. “Yeah, okay.” Sam blushed as Dean’s eyes traveled over him. “You been eating, right? Doing your workouts?”

     “Yes, Dean. Why?”

      He didn’t answer for a minute, his eyes taking in his little brother’s too tight t-shirt that was just a shade too short, worn jeans that clung to his thighs like a glove and his bare feet.

      Shrugging, he turned away, making it hard for Sam to hear his words. 

      “You’re looking good, Sammy. Gonna take a shower.”

      Sam followed Dean into the one bedroom. He stood looking at the closed bathroom door, listening to the sounds of the shower spray. He wasn’t sure what to make of Dean’s comments but he took them as another sign. A good one.

     While Dean finished showering, Sam retrieved the other supplies he had purchased, placing them at strategic points around the small bedroom.

     Dean emerged from his shower in a swirl of steam. His skin was flushed with heat and slick with moisture. A thin towel was tied around his waist emphasizing his lean, muscled torso. He looked up from shaking his hair free of water droplets and his mouth dropped open.

     The only light in the cramped bedroom was from the ten or so white candles Sam had placed on every surface. Their light illuminated the double bed, comforter and white sheets neatly folded down, and Sam.

     Dean struggled to comprehend the scene in front of him. Sam, his little brother, lay propped on his elbows, long legs spread open emphasizing the bulge(fucking christ) that lay between them. 

     He had removed his shirt and Dean could tell that Sam had, in fact, been working out. His head was thrown back, exposing the line of his throat and the long hair that Dad was always bitching at him to cut almost brushed his shoulders.

     Finally, Dean found his voice. “Sammy? What is-” His voice trailed off as Sam opened his eyes. In their depths, he saw something that he wasn’t prepared to acknowledge just yet.

     He had never noticed how beautiful his little brother’s eyes were. Why hadn’t he noticed?

     Dean did notice the open bottle of Jack Daniels on the beside table that was next to-

     Holy fucking hell, was that lube?

     Clearing his throat, Dean tried again. “Sam, you want to tell me what is going on?”

     Standing up, Sam advanced on his brother who backed up until he was against the wall. Dean had to look up to his little brother and Sam smiled.

     “This is your Christmas present, Dean.” All of a sudden, Sam looked unsure of himself, like he was steeling himself for rejection. “If you want it, I mean me.”

     “Jesus, Sam”, Dean breathed. He reached out and brushed at the bangs that had fallen in Sam’s eyes. “Give me a minute to catch up.”

     Sam had other ideas, though. He didn’t want to give Dean time to think of all the reasons of why they couldn’t or why they shouldn’t. So he did something he had dreamed about for years. He kissed Dean.

     At first, it was awkward. Neither had kissed another man before and Sam, had kissed a few girls, but not many. So he did what he had imagined doing if he ever got the chance to kiss his brother. 

    He concentrated on the feel of Dean’s lips. The taste of them. Dean tasted of beer and mint and something he couldn’t put a name to. His lips, while a bit rough, were as lush as any of the girls he had kissed. Sam drew back after a moment to look at Dean whose eyes were still closed. 

    He hadn’t pushed Sam away but he hadn’t responded either. Then his eyes opened and Sam saw a myriad of emotions reflected in his brothers emerald eyes.

     Confusion, fright, love and lust. It was these last two that had Sam leaning down to close his lips over Dean’s again.

    This time was different. Sam was more confident and his arms pulled Dean closer. He moved his lips over his brothers, content to have his brother in his arms and almost overwhelmed with the feel of those lips that had haunted his dreams. His tongue traced the seam of Dean’s lips and, after a moment they parted under his and Sam’s world tilted on it’s axis.

    He whimpered as Dean took  charge of the kiss, tilting his head and slanting his lips across Sam’s. He wanted to hear that sound again, that choked little sob that Sam had made when Dean had parted his lips and slid his tongue along his little brothers. Dean’s hands found their way to Sam’s hair and they entangled themselves there as Dean drank his fill of what his brother was offering. And those soft little whimpers continued to be punched out of Sam as Dean used tongue and teeth to communicate all of the want, the need, that he had buried deep inside himself, never thinking it would ever see the light of day.

    The towel had slid to the floor and Sam could feel his brother’s hard length pressed against his own, separated by one layer of soft denim. He needed to see it, to feel it, to taste it. So he broke the kiss and dropped to his knees in front of  his brother, startling a gasp from Dean.

    “Sammy.” He looked down at his little brother who was gazing up at him with something akin to worship. His gorgeous little brother, lips plumped and wet from his kisses, and those fox eyes of his never left Dean’s as he closed those sinful lips around the head of Dean’s cock.

    Sam had never done this before, had been on the receiving end a couple of times, but he had sucked his brother’s cock a thousand times in his fantasies. It was a bit clumsy at first. Dean was thicker than he had imagined and he gagged a couple of times trying to take too much at once. 

    “You don’t have to, Sammy”, Dean choked out.

     “Want to”,Sam murmured, pulling off for a brief moment before taking Dean into his mouth once again. He found a rhythm, one hand curled around the base as he bobbed his head slowly, swirling his tongue along the shaft, around the head.

    Dean’s hands found his hair, brushing at his bangs that fell across his eyes as sucked and lapped at his big brother’s dick. Dean had imagined this scenario too many times to count but the reality was so much sweeter.

    His hands tugged at Sam’s hair, gently, “This is going to end right here if you don’t stop.” 

    Sam kissed the pale skin along the top of Dean’s leg. “You have freckles everywhere. Some day I want to kiss every single one.”

    “Fuck, Sammy”, Dean growled, “come here.” Sam rose and Dean pulled him close, kissing him fiercely. “How long, Sammy? How long have you wanted this?”

    “Since forever”, Sam whispered against his mouth.

    “I thought it was just me”, Dean murmured between kisses. “I never dreamed.....” His hands fumbled with the buttons of Sam’s jeans, pushing them down over slim hips and thighs and somehow they ended up in a heap on the other side of the room. Dean cursed when he realized Sam was bare beneath his jeans

    “Bed. Now.” Dean needed to see every inch of his little brother. Needed to sample all of that pale skin.

    Sam lay back and blushed when he realized that Dean wasn’t ready to join him on the bed quite yet. Instead, his brother’s heated gaze was taking in every inch of Sam’s naked body.

    With one finger, Dean reached out to trace the shape of Sam’s lips then continued down the elegant line of his throat, around the dark peak of one nipple then the other. He flicked each with his thumb causing Sam to arch into his brother’s touch.

    Dean licked his lips, taking in Sam’s reaction. He drew his finger lightly across Sam’s stomach, circling lower and lower, until he traced the line of fine dark hair, while Sam’s breath came in gasps and his hips jerked involuntarily seeking friction for his aching cock.    

    Finally, Dean trailed the tip of is finger down Sam’s length, around his balls and to the soft skin behind them. When he closed his hand around Sam’s dick, stroking lightly, Sam’s eyes fluttered close, his hands dug into the sheet, while he babbled incoherently.   

      “DeanpleaseomgDeanIneedyouneedyouDean...”   

     He laid down beside Sam, and Sam sought his mouth hungrily, biting and licking his way inside Dean’s mouth. A little sound of disappointment escaped him when Dean brought his hand up to cup chin, but then he pressed his body against Sam’s so that their cocks lined up and the friction was delicious, almost too much to bear and not enough at the same time and he needed, god, he needed...   

     Dean’s lips trailed down that long expanse of throat, kissing softly at the pulse that beat wildly, then nipping lightly at the skin so that Sam cried out at the pain and the pleasure of it.   

     “You’re so beautiful, Sam. My beautiful little brother.”   

      Sam shivered at the words, never realizing how much he needed to hear them.     

     “Tell me what you want, Sammy”, Dean murmured against his throat. He continued to lavish Sam’s neck with kisses, sucking a bruise on the white skin, delighting in the sounds he was able to draw out of his little brother.    

    “Want you to fuck me, Dean. Please. I need you to fuck me”, Sam gasped.    

    Dean rolled Sam underneath him so that he could look into his eyes. He brushed a few tendrils of sweaty hair from Sam’s cheek, before gently kissing him.   

      “Are you sure, Sammy?” At Sam’s vigorous nod, Dean smiled. “I mean, have you ever...you know, with a guy?”     

     Sam blushed prettily, which Dean found totally intoxicating. He could feel his little brother’s huge, hard dick still pressed against his and Sam’s gorgeous cock-sucking lips were swollen and wet but he could still blush.   

    “I’ve never...you know”, Sam stammered, “with anyone.”    

     Dean drew back in surprise. “Sam, are you telling me you’re a virgin?”

     “I didn’t want to have sex with anyone but you, Dean.” His words became a whisper. “Because I’m yours.”

     “God, Sam.” He didn’t know what to say so he kissed him, pouring all of his love into that simple act. 

     When their lips parted, Sam was trembling and Dean asked, “Are you cold, baby?”

     At the endearment, Sam smiled then said softly, “No.”

    “I’m gonna make you feel so good, Sammy.” His hands roamed over Sam’s body, lingering on his hip, then alongside the inside of his thighs. Dean bent to take one of Sam’s nipples in his mouth, tugging and teasing until it was stiff, He flicked his tongue over it lightly before nipping playfully with his teeth. He kissed his way down Sam’s body while his hand tugged at the soft hair that curled at the base of his cock, then over his balls, rolling each one gently before sliding further back to tease at the tight pucker of flesh.

    All the while, Sam writhed and moaned and pleaded. When he felt Dean’s finger teasing lightly at his hole, he bucked his hips trying to force it inside him. He needed Dean inside him. Now.

    “I don’t want to hurt you, Sammy. We have to go slow, okay?”

     Sam couldn’t think, couldn’t reason at this point. His whole body trembled with want and he grabbed Dean’s neck, pulling his mouth to his so he could taste him, murmuring against his mouth, “Please, Dean, please.”

     Dean pulled away for a moment then Sam felt his finger again teasing the outside of his hole. This time it was slick with lube and he tensed as it slid inside him.

     It burned a little but, true to his word, Dean went slow, working just that one digit in and out, going a little further each time, until the burn was gone and he felt the first tendrils of pleasure. 

    By the time Dean had three fingers inside him, Sam had become used to the burn, the stretch. His big brother continued to kiss him, moving his lips from Sam’s mouth to his ear where he whispered how beautiful Sam was, how good he felt inside, so tight and warm.

    Sam clutched at his brother’s bicep, feeling the muscles flex as his fingers opened him up. He wanted to feel the muscles of Dean’s back move as he fucked him. Wanted to look in those green eyes, to see the pleasure he would give Dean.

    “Please, I’m ready, Please”, Sam begged.

    “Okay, baby”, Dean was breathless himself, watching Sam lose himself on just his his fingers. His little brother was needy and noisy and Dean loved it.

     “Lift your hips.” Sam complied and he slid a pillow underneath them. He pulled his legs open, hands on his knees as he watched Dean slick up his cock. He felt so open, exposed, but the look on Dean’s face as he looked at Sam’s well-prepped hole and weeping cock set him to trembling again.

     “You’re mine, Sammy, right? That’s what you told me.” Dean pressed the head of his cock against Sam’s hole, rubbing back and forth, teasing but going no further.

      Thrashing his head from side to side, Sam moaned, “Yes..god, yes.”

     “Say it, Sammy. Tell me again you’re mine.” 

      “Yours, Dean. Only yours. Always.” 

     As Sam spoke, Dean pushed in with a gasp of his own as he was surrounded by Sam, soft and tight and hot. He held himself from just fucking into his little brother hard and fast like he wanted. Instead, he went inch by inch, slowly working his cock deeper and deeper.

    Sam dropped his legs on either side of Dean’s hips, clutching at his brother’s shoulders as felt himself being filled with Dean, surrounded by Dean, inside and out. He felt so full, so complete, and as the initial pain gave way to the first sparks of pleasure, he began to move his hips, meeting Dean’s shallow thrusts until his brother’s balls brushed against his ass.

    He stroked Dean’s back, the tensed muscles, over the globes of his ass and back again. Sam could feel that Dean was holding back, allowing him to adjust to the stretch. He reached up to bring Dean’s lips down to his, brushing their mouths together. 

    Looking into Dean’s eyes, he whispered, “Fuck me, Dean. Make me yours.”

    Dean crashed his mouth into Sam’s, stifling his moans as he began to set a  rhythm, pulling out until just the tip of his cock was inside Sam before plunging back in. Sam moved with him, his body instinctive in it’s response to his big brother.

    Sam gasped as Dean rose up on his knees, pushing one of Sam’s legs back so he could see where their bodies were joined. The change in position caused Sam to cry out as Dean stroked over his prostate. He was almost sobbing with pleasure and when Dean began to stroke his cock in time with his thrusts, Sam thought he might pass out from the intensity of the sensation.

    Dean could tell that Sam was close and he fucked him deep and hard, making sure to hit his prostate with every pass. If Dean had thought Sam was beautiful before, the sight of him coming, back bowing off the bed, pink mouth open, cock spurting across Dean’s hand was beyond gorgeous. 

    He would have bruises where Sam’s fingers dug into his shoulders as he fucked him through his orgasm. Dropping Sam’s leg, Dean folded himself around his little brother, hands tangled in those silky strands and drove into his brother’s body. Sam was wrapped around him, legs around his waist, arms around his shoulders and his tight hole clenched around Dean’s cock. He was still hyper-sensitized from his own orgasm, but he worked his muscles around his brother’s dick and then Dean was tensing and he could feel Dean filling him with his come.

     “Sam...fuck....Sammy.”  He shuddered uncontrollably, then found his found his little brother’s mouth, whispering, “My Sammy”, between long kisses.

     They clutched each other, sweaty and sated. Dean pulled out with a groan and Sam sighed at the feeling of emptiness. 

     Chuckling, Dean pulled Sam to his chest, brushing sweaty tendrils from his forehead. “We should clean up.”

     “Not yet”, Sam whispered, placing a kiss on Dean’s nipple. He shivered at the feel of Sam’s lips and Dean hugged him closer.

     Sam didn’t mind the feel of come leaking out of him. It was a part of Dean. A reminder of what if felt like to have Dean inside of him.

    “You okay, Sammy?” 

     “Perfect. Uh, Dean?” Sam asked shyly. “Was I, you know....um, okay?

     “No.” At Sam’s crestfallen face, he hurriedly finished. “You were amazing.”

     Sam grinned at that. “I want to do everything with you, Dean.” Smiled seductively, he continued, “And I mean everything.”

     “I can get on board with that”, Dean breathed. “I have to say that this is the best Christmas ever.”

     Snuggling close to his brother, Sam said, “And it’s going to be an awesome new year.”

     Sam listened to Dean’s breathing even out as he drifted off to sleep. He listened to the wind whistling around the eaves and for the first time in a long time, he felt happy.

     His own eyes began to droop and as he began to doze, safe and complete in his big brother’s arms, his mind went to the lines of the poem he had written a paper about so he could have money for Christmas. He remembered reading the lines that made him realize he needed to take a chance. On his brother. On love.

    I shall be telling this with a sigh 

    Somewhere ages and ages hence;

    Two roads diverged in a wood and, I-

     I took the one less traveled by,

    And that has made all the difference.

                                 (The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost)

[omegaqueencas]

For this wincest secret santa, I took @codemented and I have to admit I had some trouble in the beginning (I ended up writing another thing entirely), but I hope you enjoy it sweetie. It’s basically fluff with a bit of smut. Also, please keep in mind that I’ve never seen snow in my life and I have no idea where it snows in the USA, so I have no idea if around the bunker snows or not (and I was too lazy to research, shame on me >_<). So please just go along, if you can. I hope you enjoy it! (you can also read it at AO3)

Sam was tired of Dean acting recklessly when they were in jobs. He knew that when he was younger he loved to see how awesome his big brother was, but now that they had been working together for years, Sam had seen Dean do some crazy shit and get a close call in so many situations that by now, Sam was tired. They knew how each other reacted when the other was hurt, so Sam couldn’t believe Dean would still act that way when he knew how Sam felt.

He didn’t want to fight, though. Sam had driven them back to the bunker because Dean’s arm as almost completely shredded, and even though Sam tried to clean it and make the bleeding stop as best as he could, it was still clear that Dean was weak due to the blood loss and he had been taking longer naps as they reached their destiny.

They had been fighting some vampires and it should have been fine if six more hadn’t joined out of nowhere. They hadn’t been bitten or turned, but a vampire almost ripped Dean’s arm off with his bare hands – which made Sam hop in and cut off the vampire’s arms. They had been drenched in vampire’s blood when they finished and Dean had been in such a hype back then that they had had no idea how bad his arm had gotten until Sam ordered him to take off his flannel and t-shirt. When he did, Sam was grateful that none of the vampire’s blood had made contact with Dean’s arm, but it didn’t change the fact that he had been terrified of what could happen to his brother if he didn’t work fast.

Everything ended up okay, but now Sam was driving the car at the speed limit, yearning to reach the bunker before Dean’s arm got infected and even though Dean wasn’t complaining, it probably was more due to his sleep pattern than anything else. When they finally reached the bunker, Sam belatedly noticed it was starting to snow. It was already December, but he hadn’t seen snow yet and he stopped to appreciate it for a second before decided to leave the Impala indoors. Once the car was parked safely inside their new home, Sam turned and ran a hand down Dean’s face.

“Dean, wake up, we’re home.” His brother’s eyes opened slowly, tiredly, and it took Dean a few seconds and a couple of blinks for him to register what was going on. Finally, he nodded when he realized they were already at the bunker. Dean fumbled a little with the door, but he winced when he put too much pressure on his bad arm and Sam quickly left the car and walked around it to open the door for Dean.

“I’m not a damsel in distress, Sammy, I could’ve handled it.” Dean complained as he stepped out of the car, but his voice was thin and weak and Sam tried to convince himself it was because Dean hadn’t spoken since he fell asleep for the first time, and not because he was, indeed, weak. Dean was already going to the door to leave their parking lot and Sam had to walk long strides to catch up with him.

“Hey, c’mon.” Dean opened his mouth to complain again, but Sam put one hand low on his back and opened the door with his other hand. “Stop acting all macho, Dean. I can see right through you and I can see you’re in pain. Lemme take care of you, okay?” Dean complained something under his breath, but let Sam guide them to his room.

“I think I can deal with things myself from now on.” Dean said, already walking to the bathroom, but Sam soon followed. “What. I don’t need your help taking a shower.”

“I know. But I’m gonna take a bath with you. Then I’ll clean and bandage your arm before tucking you to bed and giving you some pain pills.” Dean rolled his eyes as if Sam was exaggerating, but he just mumbled something as he started taking off his clothes. He groaned when he tried lifting his arm and Sam’s hands were instantly on him, helping him get out of those dirty clothes. Dean didn’t say a thing, didn’t even thank Sam, his ego clearly wounded, but there was nothing he could do to make Sam change his mind. Sam turned on the hot water and brought a few things close to the bathtub before taking his own clothes.

Sam entered first and Dean followed, sitting between Sam’s freakishly long legs and letting Sam’s hands run all over his body in an attempt to clean it and give him closure at the same time. Dean’s eyes were heavy by the time Sam finally started cleaning his arm and he simply let his brother do whatever he wanted without complaining – although sometimes it hurt and he would wince or groan in displeasure. However, Sam already knew how to deal with his body, he knew how to make him stop focusing on the pain and in no time he was leaning back, his back completely glued to Sam’s chest as Sam’s arms were wrapped around him. The water was still warm, though, and for that Dean was thankful. He would have fallen asleep had Sam not started talking.

“We should take a break.” Dean’s eyes snapped open and he turned to look his brother in the eye.

“What do you mean.” Dean demanded and Sam sighed, already knowing this conversation was going to be difficult.

“At least until your arm is completely healed. It’s starting to snow, we could take advantage of that and stay inside, spend some quality time, y’know…” Sam blushed a little as he looked to the side, avoiding Dean’s eyes. “… together.” Sam finished and Dean understood exactly what he meant, but he still hated to be forced to stay still.

“I’m okay!” He said vehemently, but Sam just deadpanned. “Okay, my arm hurts as hell, but in a couple of days I’ll be ready to go hunting again.”

“No, you won’t.” Sam cut Dean before he started to come up with reasons as to why they should just throw themselves into another hunt as soon as possible. “Don’t you want it, Dean? To just relax a little bit? We have our Vegas week every year, so why not take another break now? I’m just as restless as you are, but we deserve it, Dean. We deserve some time to tend to our wounds and to enjoy each other’s company without other people around. It can be just the two of us for a few days.” Dean opened his mouth to complain yet again and Sam rushed to shut him up. “You can cook. I mean, you can make real meals for once like you always try to do, but always get interrupted by some job. I can give you plenty of massages.” Dean arched an eyebrow, almost expectantly, and Sam rose to the bait. “And we can have as much sex as we want without having to worry who’ll listen to us and who knows about us.”

“Deal.” Sam should have mentioned the sex earlier, although Dean’s smile said that he had already been convinced, but he wanted to make  sure Sam added the most alluring part of it. Tugging at Dean, Sam dried them up before making Dean sit down on his bed as he started adding medicine in all the wounds before bandaging it up. It was way better than Sam had previously expected, but Sam still needed to take good care of it. “Can we have sex now, then?” Dean wiggled his eyebrows as Sam started putting the first aid kit away.

“No, now I’ll go get you some pain killer and you’re gonna sleep.” Dean pouted and Sam had to laugh. “I’ll sleep with you and wake you up with sex if you just sleep, alright?” Dean perked up and nodded, but Sam knew that Dean was only complying that easily because he was, indeed, in pain and a little sleepy from all the blood loss and the pain his body was enduring. Because they might not complain about it and they might take longer than most people to fall down, but they were only human after all.

When Sam was back with a glass of water, Dean was already tucked under the covers, fast asleep. Sam managed to wake him up enough for him to swallow the pill with some water before he was dead to the world again. Sam was only on his underwear when he joined Dean under the covers and he chuckled when he noticed Dean was stark naked under all the covers, probably already ready for the round of sex in the morning like Sam promised.

The problem was, when Sam woke up the next morning, it was due to an incredible feeling. He moaned even before opening his eyes and he wondered how the hell Dean had woken up before him when he had been the one taking some medicine. Turning his face to the side to glance at the clock, Sam noticed it was almost eleven and that was answer enough. He looked down at the huge pile in the middle of his legs and he wondered if he should feign sleep a little more or take the covers off and pull Dean for a kiss.

He took way too long to think though, because Dean’s glorious mouth left his cock and the covered were thrown to the floor hastily by Dean’s good arm and his brother was already straddling his legs. Dean seemed surprised when he noticed Sam was already awake and Sam wanted to take a moment to appreciate Dean’s swollen mouth, the glazed lust in his green eyes – they always seemed way greener when Dean was consumed with lust. However, as soon as Dean noticed Sam was awake, Dean was already taking Sam’s cock and positioning it on his hole.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Sam said, sitting up and holding Dean by the hips, not letting him plunge himself on his cock. “I didn’t prep you.” Dean rolled his eyes and batted Sam’s hands away.

“You didn’t, but I did.” Sam opened his mouth to ask about his arm, but Dean just pushed Sam down on his back again. “I can shoot with both hands, can’t I? I can do other things with both hands, y’know.” Sam relaxed because yeah, his brother had a point. Noticing Sam had given in, Dean simply smirked and lowered himself on Sam’s dick. He remained sitting there for a long while, just relishing on the feeling of having Sam stretching him open. “I can totally take a few days to have this more often.” Dean said under his breath, eyes locked with Sam’s. Sam, on the other hand, could only smile.

Dean started moving wantonly on top of Sam, one hand holding him up as he groped Sam’s chest, but the other was limp by his side. Sam had no idea whether Dean was in pain or not, if his arm was okay or not, but at least it didn’t seem to be bleeding – and if Dean’s enthusiastic pace was anything to go by, Sam would have guessed he didn’t feel any pain at all. Sam knew better though, and in a swift motion he pushed Dean to the bed – and the look on Dean’s face was priceless – before fitting himself in between Dean’s legs. Sam even brought Dean’s legs up to his shoulders and the new position made it difficult for Dean to reach out for him, so both hands had to lie by his side on the bed, and hand tightly holding onto the sheet beneath him. Sam started moving almost violently, having to agree with Dean that they could do this more often. It wasn’t like they didn’t have sex on a daily basis, but the fact that they could do it whenever they felt like it was the bright side of their deal.

On another hand, Sam wasn’t sure if he wanted Dean putting so much effort into having sex, like being on top as he previously had been until Sam flipped them over. Also, Sam would have to be the one responsible for every and all preparation, even if Dean complained about it. But now, Sam couldn’t help but wonder how Dean had managed to blow him while opening himself without hurting himself in the process. Instead of asking or even talking about that later, Sam would have to start the preparations before Dean and maybe that way Dean wouldn’t notice what he was doing.

“Stop. Thinking.” Dean panted out and Sam realized that he was frowning while still staring at Dean. He opened a smile before pistoling his hips more quickly, a hand falling to Dean’s hard dick. Dean gasped and Sam watched as his brother closed his eyes and threw his head back, legs writhing by the side of Sam’s head and the vision was incredibly arousing. Sam grunted at the image below him, hand working over Dean’s cock almost as frantically as his own pace and it was just a matter of minutes until Dean came, eyes tightly closed, hole squeezing Sam’s dick and bringing Sam to orgasm as well.

Sam lowered Dean’s legs before he laid down on top of Dean as they tried to catch his breath. Regardless of how mindblowing their sex had just been, Sam was still all too conscious about Dean’s bad arm and managed to avoid touching it or even squashing it with his weight.

“You good?” Sam asked after a while as he noticed Dean still had his eyes closed, but at least his breathing seemed to have evened out.

“Yeah. Gimme a couple more minutes before next round.” Sam rose himself a little just to stare at Dean, but his brother didn’t look like he was joking.

“Dean, have you eaten today?” Dean groaned and opened his eyes and Sam already knew the answer. “Your arm is recovering, you have to eat properly. We’re not having sex again until you eat something.” He made like he was about to get up, but Dean’s good hand found Sam’s ass and held it in place.

“C’mon, Sammy. You’re still inside me, I honestly just need a minute or two and I am feeling well. Why do you have to be such a spoilsport?” Sam sighed and looked his brother in the eye. Dean seemed fine. Better than he had been the previous day at least. And he had woken up before Sam and even prepared himself before sex, so maybe he could give Dean the benefit of the doubt. At the same time, Sam was worried and didn’t know if he’d be able to go for another round without fussing over Dean a bit.

Sam stood up much to Dean’s dismay and then took Dean’s good arm, helping him to sit down. “I can make us some scrambled eggs before our next round.” Sam looked around, trying to find out where his underwear had ended up and after he found it and put it on, he saw Dean was already with his robe closed, probably completely naked under it. Sam could only smile.

“As if I’m letting you prepare anything. Your food suck and you said I could cook. That was the deal, right?” Sam nodded as he followed Dean to the kitchen. “Since we’ll be spending a few days in here, I’ll write down a list of things and you can go grocery shopping as I prepare us something to eat now?” Sam was not expecting Dean to be so into this idea of settling down for a few days, but as he watched Dean go around their kitchen to see what they had and what Sam could buy as he made a list, Sam realized that Dean liked that domesticity. Sam couldn’t help but yearn that, but not for just a few days, but forever. They still had so much to do, they couldn’t stop being hunters just because they were enjoying having a place to call home.

Sam forced himself to stop watching his brother and go to his room for a change to get some new and warmer clothes. If the snow from the previous day was anything to go by, it was probably cold enough to have to put on a hotter jacket. When he returned, the Impala’s key on his hand and his wallet on his pocket, Dean’s list was on the table and he was already starting to prepare something. If Sam could guess, Dean wasn’t even trying to prepare some breakfast, he was going for a full lunch. Sam hugged him from behind and kissed his nape as Dean cut some ingredients.

“Don’t force your arm too much. After we eat, we’ll have sex again, but then I’m gonna have a look at your arm and I expect it to be better.” Dean hummed noncommittedly and Sam squeezed him tighter before leaving him.

Outside, Sam noticed that the ground had a thin layer of snow and while it wasn’t snowing at that moment anymore, the sky was still a bit grey and the temperature seemed to only be going down. He went to the grocery store they used to go and bought everything Dean added on the list, including a huge amount of lube and even some apples – and according to the rest of the ingredients, Sam would bet that Dean was going to try to bake a pie, but he wasn’t going to mention anything to Dean, because he knew how his brother could be. Better pretend it was a surprise.

It started to snow again when Sam was at the grocery store and he couldn’t help but wonder if Dean would be interested in going outside, just to look at the snow. They would often see snow in passing, too busy with a hunt or even too tired to care. But now they had time and when had it been the last time they had felt the snow against their skin just for the sake of it? However, Sam didn’t think it would be a good idea to take Dean from the comfort and warmth of the bunker while he was still healing. Yet, he kept in mind to ask Dean to go outside once his arm was completely okay.

Sam managed to take all the bags with him to the kitchen, but he almost let everything go to the floor when he noticed how full their table was. There was pasta in there, a very complex salad, some meat, mashed potatoes and even some corn. How Dean made all that in the time he was gone, Sam had no idea, but he was impressed. Dean appeared a moment later, a smile opening on his face as he saw Sam. Sam decided to put the things away afterwards. Now they should eat and then they’d make love yet again, because Dean was wonderful and Sam knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself, not when his brother had made them a banquet.

“How’s your arm?” Sam asked with an arched eyebrow as he put the bags on the counter. Dean was already sitting down when Sam went to the table as well.

“Just peachy.” Sam deadpanned and Dean rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, really. It still hurts a bit if I move it too much, but I avoided using the arm while cooking.” Sam just started preparing his plate of food because he decided to believe in Dean. They started to eat together and Sam was even more impressed. Dean had cooked more since they started living at the bunker and Sam had noticed how his food had improved, but Dean had never made so much food at the same time and with such a delicious result.

“This is wonderful.” Sam praised and he could see in Dean’s face just how much those words meant to him. Dean loved to be praised, had always loved, but he would never ask for it – not when they were younger and not now. At least, praising his brother now was easier than it was back then, mainly when the praise was related to something Dean had done for Sam. But Sam remembered when they first started this relationship of theirs how Dean would squirm and huff and get completely upset over the silliest compliments such as ‘beautiful’ and ‘wonderful’, but when it came to his performance in bed, Dean would accept it gladly. “So…” Sam started, catching his brother’s attention once more. “It’s snowing.”

Dean just stared at him for a few seconds before frowning. “So?” Sam blinked, not knowing what to reply to that. Sam wasn’t going for small talk, he actually wanted to make his brother aware of the snow and maybe invite him to go there once his arm was healed, but now Dean seemed to not care at all about it and Sam wondered if it had been a mistake to even think about going to see the snow. “Did something happen?” Dean said, still frowning, and Sam shrugged. “Sam.” Dean calling his name made Sam sigh before giving in and speaking.

“I just thought it would be interesting to go outside sometime. We never really appreciate snow all that much.” It was Dean’s turn to blink a few times, but then he laughed and nodded.

“It’s actually a nice idea. We could have a snowball fight.” Sam smiled as well at the prospect, even though he knew that a snowball fight or playing with the snow in any way would be completely ridiculous. But he didn’t care. They were taking some time to themselves, so they were allowed to be silly, and if they wanted to go outside and play, they might as well do it – after all, it wasn’t like they had done much of it when they were younger anyway.

They continued talked about other subjects and Sam even remembered calling anyone who might need them in the next few days to let them know they’d be unreachable. After eating, they put away the food together and Dean even insisted in putting away the groceries as well, but once they were done, Dean pulled Sam down for a kiss. Now that they had finished eating, Sam could properly thank Dean for preparing such a wonderful meal for them – Sam loved how domestic Dean could be, but he knew Dean wouldn’t accept any kind of compliment about it and would even give excuses such as ‘If I don’t do it, who will? You?’, so the best way to thank him that Sam could think of was with his touches.

One of Sam’s hand went to Dean’s waist while the other went to their front so he could open his brother’s bathrobe to open it. He walked Dean to the counter, where he lifted Dean easily onto it, Dean using only one hand to help prop himself up. Dean’s legs went around Sam’s hips and Sam couldn’t help but smile, loving whenever those bowed legs were wrapped around him. They switched quite often, and even when Dean bottomed, it wasn’t always that they ended up in a position like that – just like that morning, when he put Dean’s legs up so his arms wouldn’t be on the way – but this position right there was one of Sam’s favourite.

Sam started kissing Dean’s jaw and neck just as soon as Dean started tugging at his flannel, but just as Sam was making a love bite on Dean’s pulse point, Dean grunted and gave up, bringing his useful hand to Sam’s hair, the other resting by his side. It was nice to see Dean struggling when they had sex. His brother was always so assertive and fluid in bed that it was a good change to see him fumbling around, even if it were due to a wounded arm.

“Sammy…” Dean moaned when Sam’s kisses went even lower after he got satisfied at the colour of the hickey on Dean’s neck. He kissed Dean’s collarbone and then went even lower to one of Dean’s nipples. Dean was still panting above him when one of Sam’s hand went to his face, two fingers brushing against Dean’s mouth, which Dean understood what he was supposed to do and started sucking sinfully at those digits. God, that was yet another of Sam’s favourite. He loved it when Dean sucked him off. Everyone would see Dean’s lips and think they were made for sucking, and they were right. In his whole life, no one had been better at it than Dean. And if he was honest, no one was as enthusiastic about it as Dean, he knew sucking cock was high on his brother’s list of things he loved to do in bed.

When Sam went to the other nipple, he took his fingers out of Dean’s mouth and went with them to Dean’s hole. He teased the rim a little, but soon he was already putting both fingers in. Dean was still loose from earlier and he could still feel some of his own come inside, and Sam was going to use the new lube now, even though the other they were using was still half full. But unfortunately, he doubted any of them would appreciate to stop and walk to Dean’s room to fuck. Sam continued fingering Dean with a moderate pace, fingers opening to stretch Dean wider. Meanwhile, Sam moved about to pull the only bag they hadn’t put away, which had the new lube Sam had just bought. Letting go of Dean, Sam started opening up his own pants and lowered them down together with his underwear until the middle of his thigh before pouring lube onto his cock and spreading it with one hand.

“C’mon, Sammy, we’re taking too long.” Dean complained, moving his legs in a more enticing way, pulling them up so his socked feet were resting on the counter as well, which made the way to Dean’s hole more visible. Sucking in a breath, Sam positioned himself and entered Dean slowly, not wanting to be rough or harsh, even though he could feel Dean desperate to move, to get more of him inside. Instead of complying, once Sam was completely inside, he wrapped his arms around Dean and kissed him tenderly. Sam loved the blush that rose to Dean’s cheeks whenever Sam was sweet with him when they had sex. Sam was, by default, much more aggressive, so when he took his time, Dean was usually left confused, but highly aroused.

Breaking off the kiss and looking at Dean’s eyes, Sam started to move his hips. It was still quite slow if compared to Sam’s usual pace, but Dean’s eyes rolled into their sockets almost instantly and Sam knew he had hit his brother’s prostate in the process. He tried to keep up that pace while he added a few more love bites to Dean’s neck and collar bone, but after a few minutes Dean was writhing and moaning and the noises they were making were echoing all over the bunker. All of that combined, plus Dean’s half lidded eyes where barely any green could be seen, made Sam lose it and he started his punishing pace as he tightened his arms around Dean as he fucked into him in earnest. Dean’s arms wrapped around his neck, bringing them even closer and Sam had already come once that day, but it felt impossible to resist his brother when they were so damn connected. They didn’t need words, they didn’t need love confessions. Their bodies were already in synch and that was enough communication.

A few more minutes later, Dean came with only Sam’s dick inside him and his own cock trapped between their bellies, and Sam followed suit after Dean’s hole started clenching and unclenching around him repeatedly. They were in complete and utter bliss at that moment and the only change in position was Dean’s legs that were wrapped around Sam’s waist and they were tangled together in the middle of their kitchen. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes, in silence, just revelling in each other’s presence before Sam finally spoke.

“Ready for your shower?” Dean nodded, eyes still close, but he opened them when Sam stepped back. Sam redressed himself, but Dean couldn’t care less, the bathrobe still open, letting anyone see the come on his belly and chest, just as the amount of come on his upper thighs. However, Sam was the only one to there to see it, and the image before him was glorious. They went to Dean’s room to take a shower together and again Sam cleaned and bandaged the wounds – even though he could see that the wounds were finally closing, which meant that maybe just a couple more days before Dean was completely healed.

Sam had to insist with Dean to take a pain killer, because he knew Dean was probably still in pain even though he was still trying to pretend to be all macho. After the pill, they cuddled together in bed to watch some movie and Dean insisted in a Clint Eastwood movie, throwing the ‘sick’ card. Sam would have complied anyway, because he knew Dean would probably fall asleep quickly. He still lasted half of the movie, which made Sam impressed at him, but then he turned off the TV and rearranged them into a more comfortable position – Dean’s back to Sam’s chest, Dean’s wounded arm on top of them so it wouldn’t get hurt in the process. Sam hadn’t planned on sleeping, but he did anyway.

The following days were wonderful. Dean’s arm progressively improved and it didn’t hurt as much anymore; apart from a few marks, no one could say it had been wounded. Dean had also spent a whole lot of time cooking and baking and trying some random dishes – Sam had to ask him to stop at some point, because even though Dean ate a lot, he was worried much of that food would be thrown away if he kept up cooking at any given possibility. The sex was also incredible. They managed to have more than five rounds per day and they were creative on the places to have sex – the dungeon and the kitchen had been their favourite places to have sex, but mostly because they had played with the handcuffs and used some food while doing it. It was definitely different from what they were used to and it tired them in the best way possible, which ended up with long sessions of cuddles and even some naps at random times of the day.

So after five days of just being domestic inside, Dean was itching to go outside. Still a bit reluctant to go back to hunts, Sam finally thought it was time to try and catch some snow. Before even suggesting to Dean, Sam went outside and he noticed two things. First, the snow was above his shin and second, they needed warmer clothes if they were going outside. It wasn’t snowing at that moment, but it was still really cold – which was part of the fun, if Sam was completely honest.

Once back inside, Sam found Dean going through their food and munching on the last piece of pie that he had prepared the day before. Dean raised his eyebrows in question, not really wanting to stop eating to talk.

“We could go outside. There’s a lot of snow, it could be fun.” Dean seemed to perk up at the idea and he finished the pie before putting the plate into the sink.

“Great. I’m gonna kick your ass in a snowball fight.” Dean said with a huge smile as he left for his room to dress up properly. Sam did the same and he realized he hadn’t had much winter clothes, and maybe that should change now that they were living somewhere for good. When Sam finally made it to the entrance, Dean was already at the door, looking out, head facing up and Sam could only see how gorgeous his brother was in his warmest jacket, a thin scarf around his neck, some boots and thick gloves. He looked beautiful. The little light that came from the open door made Dean’s hair look lighter than it actually was and just as Dean turned to look at Sam, he could see how green Dean’s eyes looked.

His brother was breathtaking and from Dean’s expression, he was clearly trying to understand what was taking Sam so long to join him outside since he was already there, but they just stared at one another for a long moment until Sam’s lips quirked up and a bright smile light up his face. Dean blushed and he quickly looked outside and Sam couldn’t help but love how they always knew what the other was thinking or feeling, even from the smallest things such as this. Finally moving, Sam walked up the stairs and taking Dean’s hand in his, and as they left the bunker, Sam noticed that it had started to snow once more and that had probably been the reason why Dean was looking up back then.

Once outside, they let go of each other’s hands. It was quite a deserted neighbourhood, so they could just fool around and be ridiculous together without other people judging. Dean already bent down to make a snowball and Sam quickly started preparing one as well, and just as he turned to throw his at Dean, a snowball hit him square in the face – Dean’s laughter was so carefree that Sam’s reaction was to run a hand through his face before aiming and throwing his own snowball. Dean managed to dodge, already making a new snowball, laughter still in the air. They kept throwing snowballs at one another – Dean somehow hit Sam more often than Sam hit Dean – for a long time and it even stopped snowing anyway. However, the snow was still high on the ground and a silly idea occurred to Sam and he started running on Dean’s direction right when Dean rose up with a half made snowball in his hands.

Dean squealed – although he would later deny it – as Sam collided with him, sending them both to the floor. After a couple of seconds, they started giggling as kids and Dean’s gloved hands tried to make his way inside Sam’s jacket and shirts, but he failed. Sam, on the other hand, leant down and kissed Dean. The sound of their laughter stopped altogether and they slowly deepened the kiss as they held each other closer. That was, until Dean broke the kiss off.

“I’m gonna get all wet.” Dean complained, but didn’t move an inch, looking into his brother’s eyes.

“You’re already all wet.” Sam deadpanned, but then he smiled and kissed Dean once more. Dean seemed to agree and decided that he didn’t care to get a little wet – they could always take a warm bath together later on. That, plus the sex they were bound to have were enough to keep him warm, so Dean didn’t care. He never kissed someone while lying with them on the snow, so it was a nice – and quite romantic, if not a bit annoying due to the cold – change.

They spent a few more minutes just making out in their positions until Dean started to shiver. Then Sam dropped himself to the side and started making an angel on the ground. Seeing his incredibly huge limbs moving made Dean laugh, but he did it as well. When they stood up, their angel forms were overlapping at some points, but it looked like they belonged together – even though they knew they were as far from angels as one could. Pulling Dean into a crushing hug, mostly because he was still shivering even though he wasn’t admitting it, Sam started making their way back into the bunker. They didn’t talk as they went to Dean’s bathroom and they were already inside the bathtub when they turned the water on. Cuddling together in the bathtub was a bit awkward, after all they were two overly grown men, but it was still one of the best things they liked doing.

Afterwards, they snuggled close in bed and touched each other slowly, taking their time to appreciate each other’s body. They made love unhurriedly, really taking full advantage of their remaining free time together. They knew that the next day they’d go back to their normal lives; hunting down monsters and all that family business thing. But while they could, they enjoyed it. Dean had to admit later that it had been the best time off they had taken so far. Dean also knew that it had been solely due to the fact that they had now a home, a place they could lock themselves away from anyone, any judging person, and have a domestic time together complete with cooking, cuddling, taking showers and baths together. Dean doubted they’d have another break like that, they weren’t that lucky, but those few days when they were the only two people who mattered in the world would always be in his most beloved memories.

Sam also doubted they’d have another opportunity like that, but he refused to give up hope. Until they were alive, Sam would try to give them breaks so they could really enjoy each other’s company and live like a normal couple. They would never have that, not for long periods of time, but they deserved some time off every now and again and Sam would try to get them some, even if he had to argue with Dean to get it.

For now, they ended up curled together in bed after two rounds of sex, the two of them already sleeping and covered up to their chins. The next day Sam would have to call everyone and tell them that they were back in the job, that Dean’s arm was completely healed and that they would be taking phone calls again. They probably wouldn’t spend Christmas’ Day celebrating the holiday, but both of them already as the biggest gift they’d have for quite a while.

[wincestbigbang]

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[wincestbigbang]

Posting

As soon as you finish your gift, you are free to post! All pieces must be posted no later than December 31st. Remember to tag them with #wincestsecretsanta and the url of your giftee. 

[impalawanderlust]

Alright, gotcha, gotcha. Alrighty then, I'm gonna brainstorm for a bit to try to come up with a few prompts and then I'm going to let you know about them and see what you think. Unless of course you already got a prompt in mind thereby go for it, tell me what it is because this fic is yours and I want to make it just like you want. :D (This is also my first time doing this so I'm kinda nervous too. XD) Also, do you have any other preferences, like if there is porn who do you like for bottom/top

I don’t really have any prompts in mind, so go crazy! And don’t be nervous; I’ll be honored to read anything you write for me! :D 

In terms of topping/bottoming, though, I have to say I am a fan of bottom!Dean ^^; And I guess in terms of era, my favorites are preseries, Stanford, and s1-2ish, though, again, that’s not a hard sell, so if you’re inspired in a different time period, that’s cool too!