See her. Not for what she was, for she could vividly tell you her dark past, and all the murky, grimy alleys and valleys she had to tread to get to where she is. Not for what she will be, for her future is uncertain. Her plans change as hastily as do the seasons. She fears the future just as much as you do, and the future she sees now may be different than the one she might see tomorrow or the day after. Instead, see her today--in all her grime, which, she may not have been able to wash after all these years of hard work; in all her shame, for the things she knows she could not do, or could, but chooses not to; and in all her glory, from all the simple things she slowly accomplishments in the best way she knows.
Need her. There are times when she thinks she lives solely for the reason she was brought out into this world. Sometimes she thinks whether people would grieve if she passes away. She fears that people may not remember her at all. She goes out of her way to look for means to help people around her and yet she still feels void and susceptible to rejection. Make her feel that her existence is a vital element of your own.
Make her need you. She’s strong. She is convinced that she can make it on her own. She has been through so much and has created a fortress that has withstood all the billowing tides of failures, regret, and misdoings. Be proud of her and cheer her on, for all she needs is a simple ceremony of recognition in your words, in the tone of your voice, in the lines at the corner of your eyes when you smile as she celebrates her victories beyond her comfort zone. Yet, you need to make her realize that in those moments of frailty, she has someone to turn to. She knows that she is not a deity of ability and she needs you behind her to push her back up, by her side to hold hands with along the journey, and in front of her to pull her up when she’s scared to take risks.
Feed her. She will spend the rest of her life trying to make you happy. In return, she needs security--not from the thickness of your wallet, or the number of zeroes in your bank account, but in the simple things like sharing passions, chores, and responsibilities. She will always be hungry and may not know what she wants. She needs to be assured that you also know what’s best for her in those moments of uncertainty. She will lose her hair. Every single day, she will complain about the pounds she gains, the lines she forms, or the shape she creates, and you, in turn, will be generous with your words. You may lose your personal resources along the way, and she needs to be assured that it is all for a good cause. Do this and she can take care of you, fight for you to the death, even if she loses everything, even when everything she owns is at stake. You need to realize that the only way that you both can live harmoniously is when both of you are well-fed.
Last, the title of this post.
