Summary: Rhodey knew that not all was good and dandy in the Stark household. Hell Rhodey saw the evident in the fall of Tony’s face after a call one too many times, in the way Tony sometimes wouldn’t sleep until something for SI was finished. But what happened on Tony’s sixteenth birthday took the icing of the cake.
Word Count: 1963
N2 Title: Happy Birthday Rhodey
Creator: Purple_ducky00
Rating: Gen
Warnings: None
Pair: Rhodey/Tony
Square Filled: N2 – The Bots for Ironhusbands Bingo
Summary: Rhodey can’t wait for his birthday… that is, until Tony forgets it
Summary: Prince James is in love with Lord Tony Stark, a childhood friend. However, the Starks have been disgraced due to embezzlement charges. Can they overcome this?
O2 Title: Between Us, This is Doomed Chapter 2
Creators: Ducky, Honestmischief, J_Gun_I
Rating: Teen
Warnings: None Apply
Relationship: Ironhusbands, one sided IronDoom
Squares Filled: Ducky - O2 - Dr. Doom; Honestmischief - I1 - Why Superheroes Make Bad Boyfriends
Summary: Tony has the chance to present his case before Doom. Does it work?
Word Count: 1050
O3 Title: Private Detective James Rhodes
Author: Purple_ducky00
Rating: General
Warnings: Kidnapping
Square filled: O3: Vulnerability
Pair: Rhodey/Tony
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26097898
Summary: Tony Stark hires Private Detective James Rhodes to find his son. They fall in love in the process
Word Count: 658
B4 Title: Music Make You Lose Control
Creator: Purple_ducky00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: None
Pair: Rhodey/Tony
Square Filled: B4– WTF for Ironhusbands Bingo
Summary: Tony gets himself a speaker buttplug. How long before the Avengers can tell where the sound is coming from?
Word Count: 892
O4 Title: Guarding You- Chapter 6: Mind The Guardrails
Author: Ducky, @J_Gun_i
Square Filled: O4 Cuddling
Rating: Explicit
Pairing(s): WinterIronHusband
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26128006/chapters/63871558 Warnings/Triggers: alcohol use, canon typical violence (later chapters) fade to black sex Summary: Rhodey realizes too late that he likes his best friend's boyfriend while Bucky is again reminded of the boundaries he has crossed.
Word Count: 1300
B5 Title: Wonders of Wakanda
Creators: Honestmischief, Ducky
Warnings: none apply
Rating: Gen
Relationship: Ironhusbands
Squares filled for the Ironhusbands bingo: B5: Sharing Body Heat -Ducky; B5: M'Baku - Honestmischief
Summary: Rhodey and Tony explore the mountains of Wakanda. They get lost. Good thing a certain tribal leader happens to find them. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29095281
Word Count: 1207 words
O5 - Title: There’s No Future Without You
Author: Purple_ducky00
Rating: Teen Warnings: n/a
Square Filled: O5: RiRi Williams
Pair: Rhodey/Tony
Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058277
Summary: Rhodey gets sent forward in time by this week's villain. He is able to return home with the help of an AI and an avid fan.
My Masterlist for @tonystarkbingo ‘s Flash Bingo. (redone because I choose wrong formatting before. Sorry)
~~~
Fill S1- "doghnuts" swapped with "Secret Siblings, especially evil twins" from the Adoptees - The Princes And The Pauper- Chapter 2: The Scars You Left On Me -Mature - Stony
S2 Howard Stark - Guarding You - Chapter1: En Garde Collab with @jamesbuckystark- Explicit - WinterIronHusbands
S3 I am Iron Man - I am Iron Man (Poetry)- Gen- implied Pepperony
S4 Accidentally Saving The Day - How We Came To Be Friends First, Teen and Above - Friendship between Rocket, Groot and Tony
S5 Roommate/Neighbor - Guarding You- Chapter 2: Guard Your Heart (Collab see above)- Explicit- WinterIronHusbands
Baby, We’re Posing, but our Love Isn’t - AUgust Day 17
Title: Baby, We’re Posing, but our Love Isn’t
Author: Purple_ducky00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Burns
Pair: Rhodey/Bucky/Tony
Link: Read on AO3
Summary: Tony, Rhodey, and Bucky are firefighters in a committed relationship. When Bucky hurts his arm, his boyfriends are there to assure him of his worth.
++++++++++++
“Well don’t you look all sexy.” Tony Stark admires his boyfriend’s chest appreciatively. He can’t deny the spark of joy he gets when Bucky’s blush travels further down his body.
“You’ve got to stop.” Bucky mutters. “Cameraman will not be happy when I’m all red and blotchy. Go bother Rhodey.”
“He’s not out yet. Ohhh.” He turns when Bucky points. “Oh, he’s naked.”
“Thank God they selected him for that and not me.” Bucky sighs. “I’m not cut out for that kind of modelling.”
“Tony, get back here before makeup gives up on you!” Chief Fury yells. “We don’t have all day to make you look pretty.”
“He’s pretty already!” Rhodey yells from across the room.
Tony blows him a kiss, then walks back to the dressing rooms. The lead photographer looks him over. “Ok, you can be nude for the shoot. That ass is spectacular, pardon me for saying.”
“No problem. I’m quite proud of it.” Tony wiggles. “Makeup first?”
“Shirt off, then makeup.” The stylist smiles at him. She quickly applies the concealer and adds mascara. “You don’t need much else. Let me just style your hair, and then you’re done.”
Ten minutes later, Tony walks out to the room all oiled up and in the nude. Bucky and Rhodey whistle enthusiastically, and Tony strikes a pose. “Thank you, boo boos.”
“Stark, you have no shame.” Barton shakes his head, laughing.
Tony knows he looks good. Years of hard work at the firehouse had toned his body. The calendar photoshoots are one of his favorite parts of the job. Last year’s calendar was one of the most sold calendars for the year of 2020. Tony wants this year to sell even better.
The photographer’s assistant gives Tony a coil of fire hose and Rhodey a fire hat to hide their junk for the photos. She positions Tony in a way so that the photograph will show the curve of his toned ass. He’s quite proud of his rear if he must say. It’s his best feature.
Bucky whines about the fact that last year’s shoot lasted three hours. Tony shrugs. “We pose for three hours. How hard can it be?”
“Hopefully not too hard. We don’t want to traumatize the photographers.” Rhodey grins. “Let’s save that stuff for at home.”
Tony remembers clearly what happened after last year’s photoshoot. His ass was sore for the next few days. A good memory. “Let’s definitely do that when we get home.”
Watching the photographer set up Rhodey’s solo shots, Tony is able to admire the perfection that is called Rhodey’s body. Out of the three of them, Rhodey gets hit on the most by girls. Tony and Bucky don’t mind. They know he’ll always choose them.
Bucky is next. Wearing nothing but tight boxers, he flexes on cue. Tony can’t complain about Bucky, either. A little more reserved than both Tony and Rhodey, Bucky prefers to keep attention away from himself. When they’re out at a bar or club, he sticks close to them and closes off his body language as much as possible. Being a more sensitive person, he always knows when either Tony or Rhodey needs the gentle loving and makes sure they get it. Tony knows he couldn’t have gotten any more perfect boyfriends.
Halfway through Tony’s solo, the photographer asks if Tony’s willing to wear a thong. Tony agrees quickly. He knows he looks good, and he preens for the camera. Tony can see his two men practically salivating while watching.
He’s not surprised when, as soon as they are dismissed, both Rhodey and Bucky usher him to the car and drive them home. Rhodey picks him up bridal style while Bucky unlocks the doors. Depositing Tony on the bed, Rhodey cocks his head at him questioningly. Tony nods his consent. The night ends with Tony worn out. Bucky and Rhodey clean him up and lie down beside him on the bed. Life is good.
+++++++
A week later, disaster strikes. Bucky gets stuck in a burning building, helping a family when the arm of his jacket catches fire. They rush him to the hospital as he is suffering third degree burns. They learn later that his jacket was defective, made from incorrect materials. In the end, Bucky’s arm heals, and he recovers full motion of his arm, but there is extensive scarring. Bucky hates it.
Bucky pushes Tony and Rhodey away for months. Tony is upset that Bucky would do this to himself, but there wasn’t much Tony could do about it. He knows Rhodey feels the same way. Bucky moves into his own room, but Rhodey and Tony are still woken in the middle of the night by his nightmares.
“You don’t have to treat me so nice. I’m not treating you both right, and I’m definitely helping you guys fulfill your sexual needs.” He tells them, then snorts. “Not that this wouldn’t turn you off right away.”
Tony has enough. “Bucky, we’re not treating you nice because we feel it’s our duty. We both love you unconditionally, no matter what you think we should do. You’re not a pity case; you’re our boyfriend.” He notices Bucky’s chest is heaving as he is getting panicky. “Besides,” Tony tacks on. “I think scars are sexy. I just want to lick you all over and make you feel better.”
Bucky cries. They comfort him as well as they can. “Wow. I guess I just needed to let that all out.” Bucky wipes his eyes. “I love you both, and I know you love me. I just needed a reality check, you know? My brain just wants me to assume the worst.”
“Who would we be without you?” Rhodey asks, pulling Bucky and Tony into a hug, and Bucky tears up again.
“Can we just cuddle in bed and watch a movie?” Bucky asks. His boyfriends are happy to accommodate him.
Snuggling into his lovers’ embrace, Tony knows there is no place in the world that he would rather be.
This is using both the College au and Bodyguard au
Title: Guarding You - Chapter1: En Garde
Collaborators: @fightingforcreativity, purple_ducky00
Link: Read on AO3
Ship: WinterIronHusband
Rating: Explicit
Tags: AU Bodyguard, AU College/University, College Student Tony Stark, College Student Rhodey, Bodyguard Bucky Barnes, Fluff, Angst, Happy Ending, Dorks in love, Falling In Love, Fade to black sex, slices of life, Mention of alcohol, creep tries to creep on Tony, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Pining, Minor Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau/Nick Fury, mentioned dog, betrayal, Violence, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Injury Recovery, Clint Barton Trolls People
Warning: alcohol use, canon typical violence (later chapters) fade to black sex
Summary: As Tony Stark always managed to get rid of the bodyguards Howard sends, the older Stark decided to try a different agency, one he knew had specialized bodyguards.
The man he ends up hiring seems competent enough.
James "Bucky" Barnes gets a job which leads him back to college. He might or might not gets into trouble with his neighbors Tony Stark and Rhodey Rhodes.
And those troubles might lead to something neither of the three could have anticipated.
++++++++
Chapter 1
“So Howard Stark is paying for your college?” Sam asked. "And you're going to MIT? How is that a bad thing?"
"I'm hired to babysit his manchild son," Bucky grumbled. "I have to be his 'friend' so that he doesn't try to get me fired."
“And you think that will work out? C’mon Barnes, we all know you’re not the friendliest sunshine out there,” In moments like this, Bucky wondered why he was friends with Sam Wilson and Clint Barton.
“Stop it. Bucky is one of the best men there is! I’m sure if one person can deal with the Stark brat, it’s Bucky.”
That was the reason, because his idiotic best friend Steve Rogers was friend with those as well, and maybe because they all worked for the same company.
“Aw, Cap, you and your man crush are always so cute.” Here was Natalia. Why Natalia constantly broke into the boys locker room of their bodyguard agency, was a mystery.
The chorus of “Hey Nat.” wasn’t even a surprised one so often this occured. The one person who didn’t greet Natalia was Rumlow. “Great. Romanov, when will you learn that this is the man’s changing room.”
Natalia tapped herself thoughtfully on her chin before replying, “Hm, let me think… Ok, never. When will you, Rumlow, learn that in an agency like ours gender separation doesn’t exist?”
Rumlow grinded his teeth and left the room, clearly hating that Natalia got one up on him.
Shaking his head Clint claps Natalia playfully on the shoulder, “Not everyone here knows the agency’s philosophies by heart as you do, Nat. Ease up.”
In the next moment the blonde found himself on his back on the floor, Natalia pinning him beneath her. “Well, those who are here as long as Rumlow should. And you need to work on your reflexes.”
Her grin was audible and Bucky couldn’t help and join in the teasing and bantering developing after. He was aware that Natalia had manipulated the situation so that the attention had been drawn away from him. Bucky prefered it that way.
~~~
Rhodey knew that Tony loved him dearly. Heck, how everyone else couldn’t see it was beyond the young college student. It was evident in every single thing Tony did or didn’t do around Rhodey.
Everytime the younger man made sure not to wake Rhodey when he came from a lab binge. Tony attempted to make Rhodey breakfast over and over to make him breakfast, mostly resulting in Rhodey trying to salvage it and Tony pouting. Rhodey was one of the only people Tony was vulnerable around. Rhodey could go on for ages and would still find things to list that showed how much Tony loved his ‘honeybear’.
Out of that love alone, Rhodey endured the one thing he hated most about Tony.
“I can’t believe him!” The genius was currently pacing their small sitting area, exclaiming his disbelief and displeasure about Howard Stark. The one thing Rhodey hated about Tony was Howard Stark and the man’s behavior towards Tony. It left the smaller man raw and hurt, left him for the wolves to dig their teeths in and more often than not it was only Rhodey who picked up the pieces. Every goddamn time hurt and sliced into the black man’s soul.
“Another of those idiots? LIke hell I let myself be confined to the dorm! Wasn’t that idiot Lang not bad enough? Sure that guy had some smart ideas, shouldn’t be a bodyguard that guy, better off in science, don’t you think, Rhodey?- Anyway, I can’t!”
Rhodey had had enough of the ramble born of anger. The next time Tony was close enough, Rhodey took the smaller man’s wrist gently into his hand. “Tones.”
The nickname was spoken barely louder than a whisper. Gently stopping the genius in his tracks, making brown eyes focus solely on Rhodey. It made Rhodey feel humbled and honored. Made him believe he can do everything, achieve everything in the world, because Tony looked at him like he could. ‘Gosh, will I ever get used to this?’
Deep down James hoped he wouldn’t ever. Because getting used to being Tony’s sole focus, to feeling like he could do everything, would make James not better than all those who had used Tony and then discarded him. After Bain and Stone, James had sworn that there wouldn’t be anyone like them in Tony’s life again, as long as he was around at least.
Yes, Rhodey understood why Howard Stark had decided to send out bodyguards after the whole thing with Bain, it didn’t mean Rhodey liked the situation any better than Tony did.
“Ok Tones, here’s what we gonna do.”
For dramatics, Rhodey waited a heartbeat and another before continuing, “We look into the guy he hires next, because we both know he will, and then we devise a strategy against the new one,” And then, just because he could he added with a wink, “Especially if that one wants to kick me out of my own dorm as well.”
The resulting chuckle from Tony was well worth the exaggerated way he had presented the ‘strategy’. Still holding Tony’s wrist let him experience first hand how fast Tony relaxes after that. The rest of their night Rhodey and Tony chilled, a physics book here, a blueprint there, chips bowl in the middle of their mess.
The next few weeks nothing happened and somehow Rhodey started to think that maybe, just maybe Howard Stark had seen reason.
But if Howard Stark and Tony Stark had one thing in common, how Rhodey had to experience painfully, it was their bullheadedness.
~~~
Tony got to his first class of the morning and saw a new student sitting in the middle of the classroom. He took his normal seat by the wall and kept an eye on the new guy. It wasn’t the first time Howard sent someone his age to babysit him. The new guy never looked at him once and participated in the class just like everyone else. He shook his head and thought nothing of it.
He started to get suspicious, though, when the same guy was sitting in the back of his next class! No one has the same schedule unless it’s rigged, right? The guy must have felt the weight of his stare because he looked up at him and raised a questioning eyebrow. Ahh, so he was a good actor. Ok. Tony shook his head. He would figure him out somehow.
When Tony got back to his dorm, he flopped down on the couch beside Rhodey. “I think Howard hired another bodyguard.”
“What makes you think that?” Rhodey asked, focusing on his tablet.
“Well, there’s this new guy in ALL of my classes, Rhodey. Every. Single. Fucking. One. How do you explain that, huh?”
“I’m in the same classes as Carol,” Rhodey reminded him. “It’s not that uncommon, you know?”
Tony fumed. “I swear. If I see him somewhere else that he’s not supposed to be, I’m going to drag him to Howard myself…”
“Ok, sure. You do that, Tones.” Rhodey finally looked up from his tablet. “Want to grab some Thai food?”
Tony quickly agreed and grabbed his coat. The first one out the door, he stopped short when he saw his new neighbor. “You. fucking piece of pushover shit!” He yelled, and the guy stepped back.
“I’m sorry. Have I done something to offend you?” He asked challengingly.
Rhodey stepped between them. “This the guy, Tony?” Tony nodded. “I’m sorry. Tony’s being a little paranoid. His father sends bodyguards to watch him, and he doesn’t take kindly to that.” Rhodey explained. Tony gasped. Rhodey, you traitor!
“Yea, well he should stop attacking every single person he suspects. I’d rather not have to worry about being killed every time I get home.” The man crossed his unfairly muscled arms.
“Do you know Howard Stark?” Tony blurted out. He wanted to smack himself.
The guy raised an eyebrow. “Yea? Hasn’t everyone?”
Yea. Stupid question. “Whatever. Sorry for accosting you. But if I find out that Howard hired you!” Tony lifted a warning finger. Rhodey groaned and pulled Tony away, yelling. “Sorry!”
“He’s good. He’s good.” Tony fumed. “Too bad he can’t hide any texts or payment records from me.”
“Tony.” Rhodey seemed to have this conversation with him every time Tony found the new bodyguard. “Maybe it’s a good thing that there’s someone else here looking out for you. What do you think Howard would do if you just went with it?”
“He can’t send someone to watch me, then pat himself on the back for good parenting. I won’t let him. Everyone he hires is just as messed up as he is, so I won’t have any qualms about getting them fired.” Tony is angry.
Rhodey sighed like he always did. “I get you. We’ll keep an eye on this guy, ok? But no more attacking him. We don’t need another complaint from a neighbor. They might actually kick us out this time.”
“Kick out a Stark? From MIT?” Tony laughed humorlessly.
“Let’s just wait it out. They always tend to reveal themselves at some point. Hey, maybe this guy’s a good one.”
“If you’re not with me, then you’re against me!” Tony intoned, somberly.
Rhodey shot back. “Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.”
“You will try…” Tony replied, and they both laughed. “Ahh, good old Anakin.”
“One of the better Star Wars movies.”
“More like the best.” Tony announces with finality. “Want to head back? I want to meet my new neighbor. We can stop past the Cheesecake Factory and bring him a slice of cheesecake.”
Rhodey shook his head. He could see the wheels turning in Tony’s head.
+++++++
Bucky just got out of the shower when there was a knock on his door. “If this is one more frat boy asking me to come party…” He growled. “ONE MINUTE!” He yelled as he slipped on a pair of pants. Four or five different frat guys had come up asking him to join their frat because he looked the part. Funnily enough, he could fit into the “Chad” frat, the “hipster” frat, the ROTC frat, and another one that he couldn't remember. Bucky threw open the door. “Can I help… oh it’s you again. Did you come to kill me?” He asked sarcastically.
“Meep.” Was all the Stark kid could say. He holds up a container.
The black man behind him, James Rhodes, if he remembered right from his briefing, spoke up. “If Tony wasn’t flustered by your rippling pectorals or whatever he’d say, I’m sure he would be telling you that he’s sorry for attacking you. He bought you a piece of cheesecake as an apology. Would you like to join us for dessert?”
What the hell. Why not. Bucky figured he would at least be able to scope out Stark’s room if needed. “Umm… sure. Let me just get a shirt on first.”
“I mean, you don’t have to.” Of course, that’s when Stark decided to speak.
Bucky shook his head. “I think you’d like that too much. Hold on a quick second.” Going back to his room, he pulled on a T-shirt. Following the others to their room, he was amazed at the sight. They had three bots just rolling around the living room. “Holy shit. This is amazing!”
‘Yeah, I’m a nerd. Sue me.’
“Isn’t it?” Tony commented. “So, I think we got off on the wrong foot. Hi, I’m Tony Stark, and this is my Honeybear, my Platypus, James Rhodes, but his name is Rhodey. These bots are DUM-E, U, and BUTTERFINGERS. They’re pretty much natural disasters…”
Rhodey cut in with a “Like their dad.”
“...but I love them all the same. Thank you, Rhodey. I’m glad they imprinted on me, not you. No one wants boring robots who follow the rules.” Tony patted Rhodey’s cheek. “Also, J, say hi.”
Hello Sir. A voice from the ceiling made Bucky look up.
“That’s JARVIS. My AI. He’s not fully complete, but he’ll be done by the time I graduate.”
Bucky was speechless. “Wow… this… Amazing, Tony. Anyways, nice to meet you both. I’m James Barnes, but my friends all call me Bucky. So, you can call me that if you want.
“Ok,” Rhodey agreed as Tony snorted. “Bucky? Why? Do they hate you? Are you like a bucking bronco? Where’s the correlation here?”
“My middle name is Buchanan. My best friend named me Bucky when we were kids. It stuck, I guess.”
“No offense to your friend, but that’s a stupid-ass name, and I won’t stand for it. I will call you ‘James’ on serious occasions. Any other time, we shall see.”
“Tones, don’t you think it’s a little rude to make fun of a guy’s name that you’re trying to make amends with?” Rhodey wondered.
Tony batted at him. “I think it’s rude that he decided to let his friend name him Bucky. Like Bucky? Bucky, Bucky, Bucky wants a little fucky,” He singsonged. “Sorry, just can’t take him seriously.”
Bucky burst out laughing. “Well, I have never seen such contempt for my name before. Sure, whatever, call me what you want as long as it’s not your fairy godmother or something like that.”
“Note to self: never call Buckyboo ‘your fairy godmother or something like that,’” Tony murmured. “What about Jamie, Jamifer, Mr. Hotpants? I like Jamie. I have a Rhodey and a Jamie.” He sung softly, as if to himself.
Bucky could feel his defenses falling as he knew that Tony Stark is just his type. “Only if I can call you ‘Snark’ sometimes.”
“You got it.” Tony reached out his hand to shake, while Rhodey sat back in horror.
“Now there’s two of them.” He groaned.
+++++++
Bucky left not long after they finished their cheesecake. Rhodey turned to Tony. “Still think he’s a bodyguard?”
“He’s too hot for Howard to hire. Howard knows I’d try to sleep with him off the bat. Isn’t that what he’s here to stop?” Tony grinned. “No matter what, we’ll find out in a little bit. Jamie gave me his phone number so JARVIS is hacking it. He can tell us if he’s been in contact with Howard at all.”
Pardon my interruption, Sir, but I have all his text threads. Do you want his bank information as well?
“Thanks J. No, just check to see if he has received any payments from Howard or SI.”
He has not.
“See? All that for nothing.” Rhodey spread his hands.
Tony smiled. He liked Jamie.
++++++
Bucky knew Tony was suspicious. From what Howard had told him, Tony would try to hack into whatever he could to make sure Bucky is not a hired guard. So, he opened two bank accounts. He has two phone numbers, making sure his friends know to never mention his current job in the texts to his new number. He felt like he was living in Witness Protection.
Apparently finding Bucky squeaky clean, Tony opened up to him quickly. He has heard of the infamous Stark parties where things got out of hand quickly, and he has even gone to a few, but it seems to Bucky that Tony is only throwing those parties because he thought that is what was expected of him. Tony spent most of his weekends in his private labs or in his dorm room. Bucky couldn’t fault him for that. College parties were the worst.
Relationships: James “Rhodey” Rhodes/Tony Stark, James “Bucky” Barnes/James “Rhodey” Rhodes/Tony Stark
Square Filled: This is in compliance with the Bucky Barnes Bingo square K1: Angels & Demons au & the Starkbucks bingo square B5: Invisibility
Link: Read on AO3
Summary: When it comes to making a decision, who or what do you rely on? Common sense? No. Logic? No. Everyone knows the best way to decide is by talking to your shoulder angel and devil. But what happens when your angel and devil are in love with each other? Bucky Barnes has that problem. He thinks it’s the worst.
When it comes to making a decision, who or what do you rely on? Common sense? No. Logic? No. Everyone knows the best way to decide is by talking to your shoulder angel and devil. But what happens when your angel and devil are in love with each other? Bucky Barnes has that problem. He thinks it’s the worst.
“Come on, guys. Do I fight the guy or not?” He asks impatiently. Brock Rumlow had just challenged him to a fight, and he stepped back to consult.
“Yes. You can’t let him hurt your pride. Beat his ass.” Tony, his devil, rubs his goatee. “You don’t want people to think you’re a weenie, do you?”
“Language Tones.” Rhodey, his angel, reprimands dotingly. “Bucky, if you fight him, you’ll beat him up. Do you want his pain on your conscience?”
“Platypus. The dude is a class A dick. Who cares?” Bucky can agree with Tony on this one. He voices his thoughts.
Rhodey crosses his arms. “Ok fine, choose that. Don’t come crying to me when something goes wrong.”
“Did you just say that? Am I turning you into a petty being?” Tony’s eyes sparkle and claps his hands. “I am amazing! Say I’m amazing honeybear.”
“If you’re gonna fuck, can you do invisibly this time? I don’t need that image again.” Bucky groans.
Rhodey has the decency to look ashamed, but Tony sniffs. “Don’t be such a prude, Barnes. You enjoyed it.”
“You know, this is exactly why I don’t date. I don’t want my shoulder angel and devil commenting on my ‘form.’”
“Well you masturbate very well. Eight out of ten. I’d let you do me.” Tony surmises. Rhodey gasps. “I mean, except I couldn’t cheat on my literal angel over here. I love you, boo boo.”
“Whatever. I’m going to fight now.” Bucky throws up his hands.
Tony wiggles his fingers at him as he disappears. “Get rid of that UST.”
Bucky groans. The problem with shoulder angels and devils is that they aren’t shoulder-sized. No, they are human-sized and very attractive. At least, Bucky’s are. He doesn’t date because he’s halfway in love with them even though they are decadently happy with each other. He couldn’t imagine fucking someone while they watched on. It’s bad enough when they forget to go invisible before they get hot and heavy.
“Oh, so you’ve finally sent your little consciences away.” Brock taunts. “I was wondering when you’d stop kissing their asses and make your own decisions like a real man.”
If only he knew. Bucky thinks. “You ready to fight?”
The fight lasts longer than Bucky expects. Brock must have gotten some training since the last time they fought, but he was still no match for Bucky, an ex-marine. After releasing all his tension into whaling on Rumlow, Bucky relaxes in his bathtub at home. Ice baths feel amazing.
“Hey Freezer Burn. You taking a cold bath for a reason?” Tony makes himself visible.
“Go bother your boyfriend,” Bucky says, leaning his head back against the cool tile of the wall. “I don’t want to deal with you right now.”
“He doesn’t want to talk to me, so I have to talk to you.”
“I don’t care. Leave.” Bucky closes his eyes.
Tony sighs and the room gets silent. When Bucky cracks one eye open, there is no one there. Finally, some peace and quiet.
“Um, Bucky?” Rhodey materializes beside the tub. “Was Tony just here?”
“Ugh. I am not your marriage counselor. Go find someone else to deal with your problems.” Bucky groans.
Rhodey raises his hands. “No no no! I’m not even mad at him; he just thinks I am.”
“I don’t care. Take your drama elsewhere.” Bucky closes his eyes again. He is not in the mood for talking. Rhodey disappears without a word.
When Bucky walks back to his room a few hours later, Tony and Rhodey are whispering in the corner. “Oh great.” He grouses. “You two made up. Go fuck elsewhere.”
“You act like that’s all we do when we’re not helping you.” Tony pouts.
Rhodey grins. “Well, hon, that is kind of what we do.”
“See?” Bucky gestures to them both. “Now do it elsewhere. I have a guestroom. Use that.”
“Why are you so grumpy?” Tony asks. “Did someone call you a bad name?”
Bucky pointedly ignores him. He puts in his earplugs, pulls on his sleep mask, and turns out the lights. At least he won’t hear or see them if they decide to screw in his room. It’s happened before, and Bucky’s had a few wet dreams because of it.
++++++
Bucky does not see much of Tony or Rhodey the next couple of days. When he does finally call them, asking if he should buy the extra pack of toilet paper, they seem a little more reserved.
“I mean, you’ll use it.” Tony says. “It’s not like it’s going to go to waste.”
Rhodey counters with a “But what if someone comes, and they need that extra pack? You just made someone not be able to wipe their ass because you just took an extra pack that you don’t need. You have plenty of paper. Do you want to contribute to the capitalist agenda?”
“I concede. Put it back.” Tony raises his hands.
Bucky does not buy the extra pack of toilet paper. He goes home with his groceries. Usually when he puts them away, Rhodey judges his shelf choices. Bucky puts a box of Ramen in a cabinet, and is ready to wave off a comment, but one never comes. He turns quickly to find no one in the place where Rhodey usually sits. He doesn’t feel Tony’s eyes when he gets in the shower. He doesn’t have anyone to teach him how to cheat against himself at chess.
Missing his two nuisances, Bucky starts calling them for stupid decisions that he could honestly make for himself. Things like “Should I pet the dog?” of course, but he wants their opinion. The questions get dumber and dumber, but neither Rhodey nor Tony ribs him like they used to do when he asked them stupid questions. Finally, he asks them, “Did I do something wrong? Why won’t you talk to me anymore?”
Rhodey and Tony share a look. “Truth is, we both really like you.” Rhodey begins.
“But when we started hitting on you, you just got grumpier.” Tony tacks on.
“So, we thought-” “We thought you didn’t like us but couldn’t get rid of us.” Tony interrupts Rhodey again. “So, we tried to stay out of your life as much as possible.” Rhodey finishes.
Bucky sits stunned. When he doesn’t reply, Rhodey tacks on nervously. “If you don’t like us and we just made it uncomfortable, we can talk to the Big Bosses. Maybe they can transfer us to a different human.”
“You... you like me?”
“Yea, of course. We wouldn’t just have sex in front of anyone.” Tony scoffs. “Well, I technically wouldn’t care, but Platypus here does.”
“I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that you like me.” Bucky marvels. “The whole time I was grumpy was because you were tempting me with something that I thought I could never have.”
“So, you’re saying we could have been together for this whole time?” Tony asks disbelievingly. “We’re idiots.”
Rhodey decides to take the discussion to the next level by pulling Bucky in for a kiss. He then pulls back and pushes Bucky and Tony’s faces together. Claiming Tony’s mouth last, he pushes the others into Bucky’s room and starts to quickly undress them.
Once they are all spent, lying out on Bucky’s bed, Bucky decides that it’s not that bad when your shoulder angel and devil are in love, and it’s even better when you fall in love with them.
Summary: Pirate Captain James Rhodes was looking for a one-night stand. He ends up with two crewmates who make him RICH.
++++++++++
Captain James Rhodes is looking for a partner… or at least a good night’s lay. After ten months at sea, he really needs to get his whistle wet. He walks into the pub and looks around for a suitable person. The busty woman at the bar? No, she’s got tons of men hanging all over her. The man in the corner, taking requests? No, he seems to do this nightly. The woman at the… no, James sees the best candidate. There’s a man who is sitting at the table by the window. Not well-dressed enough to be anyone important, he seems to be the correct amount of everything James would want. He sidles up to the man and asks, “Do you have anywhere to be tonight?”
The man looks him up and down. James could get lost in those honey brown eyes. “Hmm… not bad. However, I have a husband, and he’s buying me a drink as we speak.” He nods to a Navy captain standing at the bar.
James’ eyes widen. He’s a pirate, and Navy captains hate him from the get-go. Imagine if this Navy captain knew James was trying to proposition his husband! “Well, thank you very much. I must go.”
“Wait.” The man grabs his wrist. “My husband and I were talking of spicing it up a bit, if you know what I’m talking about. Why don’t you wait until he comes back?”
“How do I know you’re not telling me to wait here so he’ll try to kill me?” James challenges.
“Oh, my James is pretty level-headed. People hit on me all the time, and he’s never tried to kill them.”
“Even pirates?”
“Even pirates.” Tony’s eyes search his. “I guess that means you’re a pirate.”
“I was curious.” James tries to play it off.
The Navy captain approaches the table with two ales in hand. “Well dearest, who’s this?”
The man stands up to kiss the captain. “Hello my James. This man may be our bed partner tonight.”
“interesting.” The other James narrows his eyes at Rhodes. “And you are?”
“James Rhodes. Nice to meet you.” Rhodes holds out his hand to shake.
The man at the table laughs. “Ok, two Jamses? This will not do. You will be James.” He places a hand on his husband’s shoulder. “And you will be Rhodey.” He lays his other hand on Rhodes’.
“Tony, are we sure about this guy? We don’t even know him.” James warns.
Tony shrugs. “He was very respectful of me when I told him I was married. Come on James. Just give him a chance.”
“Fine. Meet us here at 7 tonight.” James looks Rhodey in the eye. “Be prepared for whatever.”
The now-dubbed Rhodey nods. He leaves to make a few purchases. Got to be back at the tavern by 7. By the time he makes it back – a few minutes til 7, both James and Tony are there. He nods to them, and they make their way to the back steps.
In the room, James says, “Ok, these are the rules. Be safe, make sure everyone is comfortable. If anyone says stop, we all stop, ok?” Both Tony and Rhodey nod. “Ok, get started.” Tony pulls Rhodey in for a kiss, unbuttoning his shirt while he’s at it. Rhodey in turn does the same. Once they both pulls their shirts over their heads, they reach for the other’s britches. They both quickly step out of their pants and undergarments. Taking a quick look at James, Rhodey notices he is palming himself through his pants.
Tony pushes Rhodey on the bed and slithers up to suck him off. Quickly James joins the mix, and they take their time working each other up. Once they all come, they all fall back on the bed, worn out. The next morning, Rhodey thanks them for the experience and tells them he has to leave with his ship.
James mentions that no royal ships are scheduled to go out today. He looks at Rhodey to figure out his ship, and Rhodey quickly gets out of there before the Navy captain figures out that he’s a pirate.
Carol Danvers, his first mate, comments on his late arrival. “Did you have fun last night?”
“Not all of us can have our fun on board,” He grumbles. Carol and her partner Maria are on the same watch so that they can sleep together during their rest times.
“Sounds like a personal problem to me.” She grins.
Rhodey spends most of his voyage wondering about James and Tony. He had had such a great time that night. Would they want him back again? Did he cure that want once-and-for-all? He guesses he will see when they return to that port.
After a few raids and a couple bad storms, the War Machine docks again for new supplies and new sailors. Rhodey once again returns to the tavern, hoping to see Tony or James. To his disappointment, he does not see them.
He returns to his ship the next day, dejected. He’s about to walk on back to his cabin when he hears a man’s voice. “Excuse me, but do you know a James Rhodes?” That’s Tony!
“Who’s asking?” Carol demands.
“This is James Barnes, and I’m his husband Tony. Many months ago, we spent a euphoric night with Mr. Rhodes, and he mentioned to me he was a pirate. Well, Jamie and I have had a falling out with the Queen, and we’d like to join your crew.”
“Let me talk to the captain.” Rhodey can hear the suspicion in her voice.
Spotting Rhodey, she walks up to him and asks, “Did you hear that exchange?”
“Yes,” he says. “Bring them on board. I will speak with them.”
Carol leads them to him. “How can I help you?” He is aware of the pinned-up sleeve at Bucky’s left shoulder where an arm had been the last time that he’d seen them.
“Oh, Rhodey!” Tony smiles. “We’ve missed you.” Rhodey looks at Barnes who nods but does not smile. “You see, Bucky lost his arm in battle with a French ship. Now that he can’t ‘sail’ anymore, as deemed by the British Navy, he was forced to resign and is now jobless. You see, I can work for the both of us, but we both hate the British now, so we thought it would be best to join you on your pirate ship if you would have us?” Tony adds a questioning tone to his last sentence.
Rhodey considers. “Do you know how to work a ship?”
“Of course. I am the son of a sea merchant. I have accompanied him on many a voyage. Bucky here does as well, but he may not be able to help in much of the physical jobs.”
“I would love for you to come aboard, and as Captain, I ultimately have the last word, but let me check with my officers.” Rhodey advises. He calls his advisors to his cabin, and they talk it out.
Sam Wilson, the second mate, sighs with relief. “Use the old Naval captain as your second mate. I’m going to sit this one out. Go back to my husband on land.” Carol also gives her assent.
Rhodey is happy to welcome the two on board. Tony is promoted to ship carpenter as they had yet to find a new one ever since Mr. Rocket was killed in battle. They set sail the next day.
The crew of the War Machine knows there are only a few set rules. No fighting between crewmates, consent is necessary, and always obey the captain. As second mate, James has his own cabin. Tony and he sleep there when they are not on their shifts. Rhodey wants to join them, he really does, but they have never asked him again.
He spends a month staying in his cabin unless needed. Even when James comes to help him plot a chart, Rhodey stays aloof and reserved. James doesn’t comment on it at all. Rhodey almost spits out his coffee when he overhears Tony ask Carol. “Is it illegal to sex up the captain?”
“Not that I know of,” Carol replies. “He’s a little oblivious, though. You might have to spell it out for him.”
Rhodey doesn’t here from Tony until two days later. He walks back into his cabin, exhausted from a hard day when he notices there is something on his bed. It’s Tony, dressed only in one of Rhodey’s white shirts and a red pair of lacy undergarments. Rhodey stutters, unsure of what to do.
“Do you want me to go?” Tony asks.
“Never!” Rhodey blurts. Embarrassed, he pulls himself together. “Do- uh- Does James know you’re here?”
“I’m right here.” James steps out from the shadows. He also is wearing close to nothing.
Tony kneels on the bed. “We want you to be with us always. How does that sound?”
“You-you mean, like, always? Like, you sleep here with me each night? That kind of always?” Rhodey wants to make sure he’s getting everything right.
James nods. “That kind of always. We are asking you to court us, Rhodey.”
Flabbergasted, the only thing Rhodey can do is nod. He never would have imagined that they’d want him forever. He is sure to shout his approval, though, when James and Tony slowly and sensually give him the best night of his life.
The next day, Rhodey is riding a high like he never has before. He’s sitting in his cabin when Carol knocks on the door. “We are coming up on a merchant ship. Do we engage?”
He’s about to answer when Tony barges in. “Oh, apologies,” he says when he notices Carol. She rolls her eyes good-naturedly and motions at him. “Ok. So, we’re coming up on my father’s prize ship. Can we blast it to Davy Jones’ locker?” He asks excitedly.
“Daddy issues?” Carol comments. Tony nods and she smirks. “I get you.” They shake hands on the understanding.
“If you want it to go down, it will go down. Do you know anything about the ship’s defense systems?”
Tony smiles dazzlingly. “Unfortunately for you, I created them. But fortunately for you, I built a machine to go against their defenses. Follow me, let me show you.” He leads them down to his work area on deck where there is a machine shaped like a large fan. “So, they basically have a force field they put up around their ship. Nothing can penetrate it. I can make us one, if you’d like. The only different thing I’ll need is a sapphire and a ruby both bigger than my hand.”
“So how does this penetrate the force field?” Carol queries.
“It doesn’t. The only thing that can is vibranium spears from Wakanda, and they don’t just give them out.” Tony pats his machine. “This thing will suck all the ions holding the force field together into one area. This will pull the force field to that one area. We can attack the rest. Aim this at the mast, and we can bring the boat down for sure. Usually they don’t have many fighters because no one has yet to cut through the force field, but as this is the SHEILD, he might have some people there, just in case. This boat is his pride and joy. I’d like to see it sink. The best thing about it sinking is he’ll know I had a hand in it.”
James had walked up while Tony was demonstrating and is now watching silently. “What if the Navy catches up with us?”
“Well, it would be better if I found that sapphire and ruby sooner than later.” Tony snarks back.
“Just steal it from your dad’s ship.” James says it like it’s a no-brainer, causing Tony to smile widely.
He kisses James and says, “You are amazing. See, that’s why I love you.” Then, making sure Rhodey doesn’t feel left out, he walks over and kisses him, too. “You both are my favorites.”
The crew gets ready for attack. Once close to the SHIELD, Tony starts up the machine and aims at the mast. Rhodey calls to fire the cannon, and the deck of the SHIELD splits on impact. The crew is up in a frenzy – no one has ever breached their defenses! The battle is quick. Rhodey’s crew quickly ransacks the ship, even pulling the force field parts to the War Machine. Howard’s ship is left burning.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Fantastic Four (Comicverse)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Victor von Doom, (pre relationship)
Characters: Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes, James "Bucky" Barnes, Avengers - Character, Fantastic Four - Character, Victor von Doom, Doombot(s), others - Character
Additional Tags: Tony-centric, everyone loves tony, Attracting trouble, Established IronHusbands, established WinterIronHusbands, Pre-Relationship, DoomWinterIronhusbands, Doom being a nuisance, Team as Family, i really don't know how to tag this, Canon-Typical Violence, Villains, Fluff and Crack, maybe? - Freeform
Summary:
Tony had come to terms with his uncanny ability to attract the attention of villains, or wannabe bad boys. During his years in MIT he had his fair share of wrong choices and even Rhodey to some extent had been a bad boy. Their friend Carol had loved to tease them with the song ‘Uptown girl’ in which clearly Tony had been the uptown girl.
Then the Winter Soldier happened and then... well and then Doom.
