I need an update to the LADS home system where I can, without interrupting my guy doing… whatever it is he does, just walk up to him and give him a little kiss. A lil’ smooch. A pat on the arm or head or something. Not a long, drawn out interaction. Maybe he makes a cute comment bubble if we’re feeling generous. But it doesn’t interrupt his current action.
I know I said I’d never make a side blog, but I’m debating making one exclusively for hornyposting and then will try to keep this one relatively SFW from now on 🤔 I wanna talk more about non-sexy stuff lmfao
“What’s your favorite Caleb voice line?” They shout.
The crowd opens their maws, screeching in intoxicated unison, “What was that, pipsqueak?” Their rabid ferocity suggests the individual attempt by each within the hive mind to swallow the approximation of an imaginary jet engine’s scream.
Drowned out by the hum, I whisper in unheard solitude: “Coolio.”
Here’s a question American LADS fandom: does Caleb have a regional accent? Or is his intonation about roles?
Firstly, this isn’t a bid to learn anything personal about the VA. I have zero desire to find out the VA’s identity, and am not suggesting that we should be looking. We shouldn’t. We know why.
Disclaimer aside, I recently had a “Oneshot Day” (this is where I’m feeling low and marathon my favorite stand alone tv episodes across all of the shows I’ve come to love), and during which I watched S4E10 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: “Hush.” This episode features a character, Riley (played by Marc Blucas) and admittedly it’s been a few years since I’ve seen it. The moment Riley spoke though my brain immediately went, “Wait - why does he kinda sound like Caleb?”
So now I’m wondering all about Caleb’s speech patterns. Riley’s character is midwestern (and I am not - so I didn’t clock this myself), so is that what I’m hearing? Is his sometimes cheesy word choice and family-friendly redirection actually a bunch of regional colloquialisms? Or am I identifying two characters who are both a couple of years older than their respective LI’s and are attempting to maintain comfortable distance to seem safe and non-threatening? Both of these characters are trapped within their assigned roles - roles that have a level of romantic taboo associated with them - so I’m not sure this is a far stretch of the imagination.
Trying to think of solid examples as to why I’m confused:
Riley can come off as “corn-fed and a bit hokey:” both things other Buffy characters have referred to him as verbatim. He’s very conscious of his word choice and aims for mild terms (ex: “courting” instead of “dating” - which results in eye rolls from his friends). His phrasing is always as innocent and innocuous as possible. Calls himself a “Joe-regular” kind of guy. Rarely curses. Has “masculine diva” moments that mirrors Caleb’s snark perfectly. Loves to speak in a pout to supplement the puppy dog eyes. His voice is NOT the same as Caleb’s, but his intonation and phrasing are scary similar.
Caleb’s dialogue is painstakingly crafted to reflect someone deeply in love with MC, but unwilling to cross any lines that would redefine the relationship outside of what MC is comfortable and happy with (something Riley’s character is also conscious of as both Buffy’s TA and a secret military monster hunter often working against her). Caleb actually says this explicitly in one of the Tender Moments and references it vaguely in Exclusive Aftertaste. We see this in his word choice: he speaks more like an older male family member or friend of the family to reflect that role, and it’s definitely intentional. He doesn’t say: “what’s going on in that pretty head of yours,” he says “your little noggin’ ” - things like that. He maintains two primary tones of voice for MC: the teasing, reminiscing voice and the soft, reassuring voice. Riley maintains the exact. same. tones. when speaking to Buffy. They even share the same “I know you’re stubborn, but so am I” voice. Eerie.
Even when Caleb takes the opportunity to flirt with MC, a lot of that flirtation is based in the fact that she’s still safe with him. He goes out of his way to echo it. “Go, on, I’ll wait (for you to decide),” and “So if you need to call for Caleb, go ahead. Do it.” His voice drops with the flirtation, then raises again as he brushes past it and plays it off. And since it’s easy to pinpoint his motivations (similarly to Riley’s motives to skew toward professionalism - his role), I’m struggling to understand whether or not these features of their voices reflect those motivations… or if they’re simply regional nuances.
So I’m still newish to LADS (started after Caleb’s debut) and while I have a decent number of memories I do try to pace myself with the content outside of the main story. I’m careful to avoid spoilers and admittedly don’t read many fanfics (since there’s risk of allusions to content I haven’t seen yet), so take this with a grain of salt.
I love a problematic fave more than is probably psychologically healthy, but something about Caleb and the intentionality in his writing hits a very raw nerve with me. I’m beyond hooked by it. The deep appreciation I have for the writers of this game cannot be expressed enough. His nuances and the way that he loves is meticulously well thought-out and honestly addictive. After watching Rain’s Embrace for the first time though, today I’m focused on his flaws. Join me for a cup of tea while I ramble?
Big Caleb rant incoming: if you’re not fond of takes that are critical (even coming from a self proclaimed Caleb fan) then this might be one to scroll on! Also spoilers for Homecoming Wings and Bond story: Rain’s Embrace.
TW for use of the word “abuse.” Please do not respond with further spoilers!
So, tell me why every time I do engage with more of Caleb’s content I get invariably upset. Tell me why every time I get my suspicions confirmed about his “nature” pre-Boom it gets me more invested in him but also makes me want to throw up. Explain to me how I can love him SO much but can’t even put him in my café right now because the way he spoke to MC in Rain’s Embrace makes it hard to look at him. (Ironically he dressed himself today and wore the “let me think” troubled squiggly lines that hover over his head. Yeah.).
Having completed Homecoming Wings, it’s not the first time I’ve heard the “you think you don’t need me” speech, but the version in his Bond story would’ve had me crashing and burning. The kind of hysterical, self-destructive spiral that would’ve sent me on (after alluding to the fact that getting locked in the attic had been traumatic and then confirming that with the final thunderstrike?): just nah. His cruel little smirk when he realizes that MC suspects that he was responsible for that (absolutely phenomenally rendered btw - I had to watch it twice because I thought I imagined it)? The masterful way he uses physical and emotional discomfort/dominance to control where the conversation is going, and how he plays it off as harmless teasing? Diabolical. Practiced. And a gold star to the VA, because at first Caleb’s tone and words don’t quite match the expression and body language that screams covert intentions, but as the conversation continues that tone shifts to match his conviction. He knew she wouldn’t find that confession cute. He knew she was upset from the start. He still used the story as a twisted teaching moment to reinforce his necessity in MC’s life. That wasn’t an attempt to bond. MC tries to bond by tickling him and pinching his cheeks (read as: friendly, playful affectionate gestures to reinforce safety in what could be a vulnerable moment). Caleb’s confession was an effort to reassert MC’s dependence on him by contextualizing her own personal mythology as being by his guiding design. And the way it ends??? I guess Caleb just fucking off after an uncomfortable conflict of values is a pattern of behavior worth keeping track of (current tally: 3).
I stg I don’t need more projects, but tell me why every tiny story we get between Caleb and MC makes me want to rewrite all of their scenes together to reflect a more “reasonable” reaction to the gaslighting and threats - not because I hate him for them but because it would just be so. Interesting. To play with. So interesting to see how he would respond to such an overt expression of distress at his control tactics. Would he be able to continue justifying what is essentially abuse (don’t come at me - we can love it and acknowledge it) if the reaction he received showed that the harm he was causing was both obvious and was disproportionate to the fears he lets fuel those decisions? Because I think in the case of the Bond story, it is disproportionate. It’s projection in part - which Caleb acknowledges himself in the scene and with his decision (lie) to once and for all let go. We know that the acknowledgement is genuine here because it’s said to himself! MC isn’t even awake in the moment (and did she cry herself to sleep? Because that’s how I interpreted that transition).
Or… would it result in the opposite? Would a more extreme reaction only incentivize him more? Would it confirm MC’s fears that Caleb is right about her capabilities and result in more fawning? There’s evidence of this too (Rain’s Embrace, Endless Summer, Exclusive Aftertaste, etc.) in MC’s response to him pulling away: to plead with him not to. In multiple memories now when MC asks Caleb to respect her autonomy, Caleb does so by removing his presence from her life. We as the audience know that he continues to keep an eye on her from afar, but MC doesn’t know that. Does he disappear for stints (aside from, you know, dying - which is a whole other can of worms) with the intention of punishing MC for standing her ground, or is that just a functional side effect? Is he trying to prove her wrong when he lets MC stand on her own without him? Or is he trying to prove himself wrong, only to be thwarted by outside forces at every turn? Is that why I continue to forgive these choices - because it’s so extremely difficult not to empathize deeply with someone who is proven correct to the point of devastation even when they wish for nothing more than to be wrong? (Again, Infold, remove yourself from my cranium please).
It’s obvious as to why MC cannot react in either extreme within the canon narrative by nature of it being self-insert and also because of the potential to undermine the strength of her personality. But given their codependent bond and her obvious trauma I don’t find her responses to these situations entirely convincing. Necessary to provide a platform for Caleb’s characterization - absolutely - but not entirely reasonable. Not unless MC’s behavior is meant to be read as wishy-washy because Caleb’s push and pull is confusing and conflicting (his love and his control, his reliability and his alienation)… which yeah. This is obviously consistent behavior from him that MC is conditioned to. Are we meant to read this as Caleb’s gaslighting being effective? It would certainly explain how MC handles the reunion a bit more through the framing of Caleb handling all conflict between them with this same kind of coercive emotional aggression. Is that why she’s seemingly so used to the games-that-clearly-are-not-games that Caleb corners her into before feigning nonchalance? Why is she so willing to accept these “hard truths” he drops with such pointed cruelty just because he behaves reassuringly and care-free directly afterwards - and effectively making MC responsible for any escalation by cutting off communication and acting like she’s crazy for being upset? Perhaps like MC, I cannot wrap my mind around what is true, and what Caleb believes is true enough to justify it all.
And I just cannot stop thinking about it.
How am I supposed to not turn this into 3,471 meta-focused fanfics that nobody asked for?
