Being a solitary practitioner is great and all, but not having a coven of like minded people readily available sucks. There’s only so much you can do with online circles and trying to sift through some of those people is tiresome. I guess there’s no easy solution.
How do we define a mistake? How do we know when we've messed up? These were questions that haunted me in the beginning of my practice. I was overly worried about doing things wrong and having to pay the price for those mess ups. The uncertainty of it all made me really hesitant to start experimenting in my craft. I would later come to terms with the fact that mistakes are inevitable, but as a beginner I was definitely intimidated.
The truth is, I'm not really sure there's a surefire way to know if something is a mistake until we've messed up. Spell work can be tricky in the sense that we often define our own parameters of success. This means that a spell can be failure to one person and a success to another based on their personal views of what success means. If a spell has consequences that we don't intend it to have or manifests in a way we weren't expecting, does that constitute as a failure? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. In my opinion the best way to determine if something's a mistake is to mess up. You won't know until things go wrong.
How I Rectify Mistakes:
To start, remember mistakes are inevitable. We can't avoid them and we shouldn't try to. Sometimes spell work isn't going to manifest in the way we were expecting. Sometimes our spells are going to force us to confront uncomfortable truths or set boundaries in order to get what we want, and there may be no other way around that. This is a reality that we should strive to accept rather than avoid.
But what happens when we actually do mess up? How do we go about fixing what we've done? I follow a few guidelines which help me determine what my next steps should be and hopefully these are helpful for you too.
Determine what has happened and if the spell is influencing the situation- the effects of some spells are relatively short lived so if the spell isn't currently influencing the situation then you're on damage control (and a good cleansing should be enough). However, some spells (often spells that are contained within a vessel or are tethered to you) need to be undone first.
Cleanse or banish- depending on the type of spell you may feel like cleansing just isn't enough. If that's the case, doing a banishment of the effects/energy of your previous spell should do the trick.
Mundane over magical- the effects of spell work often show up in our daily lives so taking the time to fix/heal from life events is super important.
Reflect- it's important to try and understand exactly what went wrong. Were you specific enough? What ingredients did you use? What order? What did your petition say (if you used one)? Where was your mind when you were casting? Going over how you did the spell can be helpful when determining what went wrong. It's important to reiterate that sometimes our spells are going to force us to confront uncomfortable truths or set boundaries in order to get what we want. Something that feels like a mistake now, could play an important role in you getting what you want later on so keep that in mind.
Mistakes I've Made:
I've talked about this before but I once did self-love spell for myself and a group of friends. This was fine, my mistake was trying to do them at the same time. I ended up accidentally binding myself to all of them. Months later we had a major falling out, which inevitably ended our friendship and was especially difficult on me. I was sick for several days and ended up doing several chord cutting spells to rectify the situation.
I was struggling with severe anxiety a few years ago and decided to do a spell to help with it. The problem was that I didn't define what I wanted from the spell. I kinda just said "no more anxiety" and lit the flame. When doing this spell, social situations had been the driving force behind my anxiety. However, it became health related after this spell. I should have been more clear in my intention when doing that spell but more importantly, I should have known that there is no "easy" fix for anxiety.
My first baneful protection was a blunder because it didn't work. I was nervous about messing up, which caused me to. Something I find influences baneful protections are boundaries (and our ability to set them). If you can't set boundaries in the physical world, then you aren't going to be able to set them energetically (in my personal opinion). I was an absolute pushover in relationships. I let people take advantage of my kindness and had trouble putting my foot down. My energy reflected that and the baneful protection did absolutely nothing, it was both a waste of ingredients and time.
-olive oil for the vibes, I usually use grape seed as a carrier, but the vibes of olive oil are what I’m feeling for this.
-Pachouli (sleep aid, and also VERY sensual)
-Mugwort (for astral/dream work)
-Lemon Balm (love, dreamwork, healing)
-Lavender (sleep aid, but intense dreams)
-rosemary (creativity)
-peppermint essential oil (money/prosperity)
-Grapefruit essential oil (mental clarity)
Ok, so here is my list, copy pasted from my notes app so that is why the formatting and wording is all weird lol, of all the herbs and oils I’d include in a sleep prayer oil, and all my reasonings.
But I freaking. Listen, I don’t believe sleep is a real god, but when I was like ‘what would I put in this’ my mind kept going back to rosemary, and I was like ‘why tho?’ And the first thing that popped up when I searched for herbs for creativity was rosemary and I just said ‘ok. Sleep wants that in there’.
I cant make this rn, cause… I am not uhhh ‘practicing’ (my practice is gathering knowledge until I can move out), but I want to 🤣. I wonder if I could get by with substituting lemon oil for lemon balm, cause I have access to essential oils, but not herbs and putting them jars lol. I could honestly say this was a blend for seizures and I wouldn’t even be completely lying….. I’d actually just have to buy the patchouli and mugwort 🤣🤣🤣…. I’m so tempted. I’ll let you know if I do it or not😂 or maybe I just leave out the mugwort and patchouli for right now? I feel like the others have everything covered, but the first two where more like the pa-pow of the oil, idk if this makes since? Like those are the main two and if I was making this for real, I would do only a little bit of the other ingredients, and a lot of the main two, but if I’m not including them I’d do more of the others…. Fuck it I’m gonna end up making this, oops. (But probably with grape seed oil, since this is an essential oil blend… I’ll be back with more notes I’m so sorry).
Edit: this just keeps getting longer longer sorry; went to gather the oils, realized we do indeed have patchouli! But not rosemary… thinking of substituting oregano for rosemary…. And maybe clary sage for mugwort?? Hmmm. Lots of thoughts. Same associations for both things as the list above… ok I have to be done now I’ll come back and tell you if it smells good in a different ask lmao.
Sorry for info dumping to you about a silly little oil, but I was having fun with it.
What would go in your version of it, if you don’t mind me asking👀 I know you said you where doing your own research on it, and I’m curious🥰.
i have sat on this for waaaayyyyy toooo long but university was absolutely kicking my ass for the last… month and a half? idk i was going through it for a hot minute 😅
but! finally getting to tuck into some research now that i’m done school for the term and have a quiet day at work. (this is gonna get hella long cuz i’m having a lot of fun researching and i’m gonna use this as a sounding board a bit as i read)
so! first thing i’m learning is that intention is a huge part of this (i knew the intention part already, part and parcel with working with tarot!)
i think given that sleep is introduced to us as some sort of deity, i would probably make a ritual anointing oil.
the carrier oil itself is another question. i think since sleep feels like a deity not easy to commune with (the intensity and allegory in the music makes me think that, if we were worshipping a true god, conversing with sleep takes a toll on the devotee). with this in mind i think grapeseed oil might make a decent base. it is a good choice for anything used to anoint the body (which i feel would be part of this ritual oils use, if we must dream to encounter sleep then anointing the body makes the most sense to me!) and it is ruled by the moon and water element- making it very fitting for sleep token! grapeseed oil is also useful for blends that intend to boost/strengthen mental abilities (it also helps with fertility magic and given the lyrical content at times- seems somewhat fitting) another useful aspect for a ritual for sleep. i do like the vibes of olive oil as well, and it’s a very versatile ingredient but i don’t think i’d like feeling it on my skin so grapeseed it is! (also my local magick shop has grapeseed oil so easy for me to obtain lol)
now the fun part- the essential oils!
(i’m realizing as i write this that i need to purchase a grimoire so i can start recording my research and recipes…)
so this part has taken me a lot longer to fiddle with, not only finding the right associations but also smells i enjoy, but i think I’ve got it!
- sandalwood (its grounding, promotes inner peace, aphrodisiac) [i went back and forth here between sandalwood and cedar, same associations but i prefer the scent of sandalwood]
- patchouli (grounding, sharpens your wit, good for prayer work) [loooove the smell too, i’d do anything to naturally smell like patchouli lol, hippy association be damned]
- lemon balm (love, healing, astral projection, it also amplifies the effects of other herbs)
- clary sage (vivid dreams, divination)
i keep going back and forth on whether or not to add clove, it’s another aphrodisiac and also good for treating insomnia so i think it would fit? but i’m not 100% sure on it yet lol. my familiarity with essential oils and herbs is very minimal
but yeah! now to get the oils and mix. not sure exactly how the mix will come about, will need some trial and error with it i think! again, sorry this took me so long but here we are! finally i did it!
Yes, yes I do as does my big sis! We both are also ruled over by different planets with me mainly being ruled by Uranus but also Saturn which is wild. My big sis is ruled by Venus I believe. (Thought I'd give you that fun fact for no reason!) My big sis I think worships a deity too, as for myself I might worship Loki because I've been feeling a sort of pull towards that God but maybe my bae @grovenator could help me find my God/Goddess since I'm still uncertain.
diversity, not only in humanity but in life as a whole is a divine blessing. the ability to like and dislike, to debate, and to choose. its what makes each individual and each experience so neat. i love diversity