All That I Have
A/N: I have recently gotten back into watching The Witcher. It has literally taken me several years to do this but I have finally found the time and the mental capacity to do so. This has obviously inspired me to write again, but I apologize for the quality. I have been very much out of practice. However, it is quite a fun process. I hope you enjoy.
Also, is this out of character for Letho and Eskel? Probably. Most likely. Do I really care when it’s in the name of fluff? Nope!
Pairings: Eskel x Letho
Summary: Letho has lost so much. Eskel knows his pain. They will not lose each other.
Word count: 1,816
Warnings: angst, whump, general sad Letho vibes, abandonment issues, separation anxiety,
This was all he had left.
Letho walked the Path only with what he could carry. He had his swords. He had his potions. He had his coin. He had his books. That was enough.
While the other witchers had keeps and caravans to return to, Letho had only the Path.
Although, that was not entirely true.
He had his snakelets. There were still Auckes and Serrit out on the Path. They would meet him at the turn of each season, catch up with him and confide in each other. There was care there. That was similar to having a home again, but it wasn’t quite right. They were still adrift, meeting up at borders and forest instead of hearths and homes.
No, Letho was not home until he was tucked in with Eskel.
Their relationship began perhaps a decade or so after the Kingslaying business. Eskel was on contract and Letho desperately needed the coin as well. Looking back on it, it was a jerk move, what he had done.
“Do you even know who to turn the head to?” Eskel asked from the ground where he was pinned down by a sword to the very edge of his shirt. There was blood dripping from his split lip.
“I’ll figure it out. Small village. Desperate enough to hire a witcher. Shouldn’t be too hard to find someone grateful that the beast’s been slain.”
Eskel had scoffed at him, the sound more put out than angry at him for stealing the credit. Perhaps that was what caught Letho off guard, the lack of a proper fight.
“You’re going to let me walk away with it?” Letho couldn’t help but ask the other witcher. He eyed the figure on the ground.
“If you’re desperate enough to take another’s kill, then you need the coin more than I do.” Eskel looked up at him and despite how often he’d seen the amber gaze of other witchers, Eskel’s eyes caught him off guard. They were the deepest shade of yellow, rich with calmness and an emotion Letho couldn’t place a name to.
“D-do you need help?” Letho couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth or trust the sight of his own outstretched hand towards Eskel.
Eskel twisted the knife out from its place above his shoulder and returned it to Letho’s hand, fingers on the blade and handle to Lehto’s palm. “No, but I could use a drink.”
And that was where it had began.
The winters were harsh for vipers. Their blood ran cold and the lack of sunlight during the few hours of day made them weak. Letho had to work toward the Keep at the first brisk winds of autumn if he wanted a fighting chance to make it up the mountain.
The wolves were wary of him at first. How could they not be after everything he had done. But once they saw the way Eskel doted on him and his snakelets, it was over. Any further arguments died on their tongues. For what could anyone call what Eskel did to them but doting?
He brought the vipers gifts, read to them, kept them warm and fed and entertained; he loved them tenderly and dearly. Auckes and Serrit did not always join the wolves at the Keep but when they did, they were met with nothing but care from the scarred witcher. They felt safe to return to him when the desire arose.
Perhaps that was another reason why Letho loved Eskel. The witcher loved everything that he had to offer. He loved the snake, fangs and all.
“I’m sorry to have made you wait so long.” Those were the first words that Eskel greeted him with when he returned from the Path.
Letho laid in the burrow he had created in their bed. He had gathered the sheets and covers and furs from the stores and placed them amongst the pillows and bed frame. Eskel’s clothes from the closet were placed on top. Despite the lack of scent from the wolf on those pieces of cloth, they served as a reminder of him. Letho laid hidden in the center, body curled up for heat. If he could have managed to fit underneath the bed, he would’ve made his burrow there.
“I missed you, wolf.” Letho admitted from the furs. “Where were you?”
Eskel entered the threshold and placed his bags by the door. There would be time to unpack. As it stands, there were more pressing matters to attend to.
He removed his shoes and placed his swords aside. Then came his tunic and trousers leaving him in nothing but his braies.
“The Path took me far away from home this year.”
Letho scoffed and turned away from him. He resisted the whine that wished to escape from his throat. “Bet there were more handsome witchers out there.” The jab was a weak one but Letho was cold and had spent the start of winter without his wolf. He was very much warranted in his bitterness. Even Vesemir had begun to give him pitying looks.
“Oh, Letho.”
The sound that left Eskel was almost like a wounded cry. Letho couldn’t help himself. He snuck a look from underneath the covers. The look on Eskel’s face could have had the gods weeping in his favor.
A whimper escaped the wolf. “How can I make it up to you?” Eskel kneeled by Letho’s burrow and brought his old clothes to fortify the walls. “I can bring the snakelets home?” Eskel offered.
Letho burrowed himself further under the covers and furs. He backed himself up against the headboard away from Eskel. “I’m not desperate enough to be won over that easily with simple bribes,” Letho hissed. He wanted to pin Eskel down and force him to stay there but winter would end and the Path would call and they would be apart again. What he wanted was insane but Letho was cold and had been left alone for a whole month more than he had to be. He wanted his wolf badly.
“Then how may I win you over?” Eskel hummed.
Letho was silent. There was a small part within himself that he didn’t want to admit aloud. He liked it when Eskel begged. It made him feel powerful, in control, loved.
“I want a promise.”
“Anything I am capable of. Anything my hands can bring you. It is all yours if only you ask me for it.”
Eskel was so sweet with words and it was hard for Letho to stay firm with him. He could feel his resolve crumbling before him. If the dead kings could see him now they would mock him.
“Hmph,” was all the viper could manage.
“My valiant viper,” Eskel tried, moving closer to the edge of the burrow where the overgrown snakelet hid. “What must I do? What beasts must I stay? What may I say?”
Letho refused to let his forked tongue betray him. He was allowed his anger. He was allowed this expression. For so long he had to keep face for his snakelets but not here. Here he could hide if he so pleased.
“I want…I want your time and your word.”
“You have it.”
“Promise me you’ll make for the Keep at the first turn of the season, not this.”
“I swear it.”
“And…and you’ll…” Letho didn’t want to say it. He drifted off but Eskel was patient. The wolf continued to kneel by the burrow without complaint. The whirling winter wind was white against the window. The sound was not a howl or a wail but a whisper against the day. “And promise that you’ll send word if anything keeps you away longer.”
“On my life, I’ll do just that.”
Letho whined at that. The sound forced its way out from his lungs, moving past the lump in his throat. “I want you to come here and hold me.”
Eskel did not have to be told twice. He was careful not to disturb the structure of the burrow as he made his way into it. The very fabric of its walls were warm to the touch, even with mutated blood running through his veins.
Letho watched the wolf closely as he laid next to the viper. It had been too long. This was all Letho had left. Despite himself, he whimpered once more. The very sight of the other witcher. The smell of him within their burrow, skin and flesh and solid bone. Here he was.
“You have me.”
Letho brought his hand to Eskel’s face. He was gentle, as careful as he was capable of as he placed his palm against Eskel’s cheek. The scruff there was coarse against his skin. “I thought you’d never—that you had—”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Letho pulled him close so that their noses touched and their breaths were one and the scent of skin was overwhelming. They were too large to be doing this, pressed against each other as if insatiable youths with too much energy for their spindly bodies. But it was what Letho needed to feel real.
“We could spend the whole winter here.”
“The old wolf will only put up with so much. He’ll want you out of here and working by sun up.”
“He makes exceptions.”
“He’s already made one for me.”
Eskel chuckled. He wanted so badly to kiss his viper but he was afraid to disturb what peace had settled upon them. “Well then I must savor the time I have.”
Letho cried and hid his face in Eskel’s chest. He grasped the other witcher’s shoulders as if holding on tight enough meant never parting from him. “D-don’t…you can’t…not those words. Please.”
“Oh, my love, I am sorry.” Eskel wrapped his arms around the viper. He kissed the crown of his head, holding the witcher there until his trembling settled. “You have me. You have me here.”
“I have you.”
“Yes,” Eskel told him, “You have all of me.” He kissed Letho again and again and again. He kissed him until Letho turned his face away from Eskel’s chest. Then he kissed him once more. “You will always have me.”
Letho held Eskel as he held him. “What have you turned me into?”
Eskel did not laugh but a smile pulled at his lips. “Soft, are we?”
Letho snorted and the sound broke the spell that had fallen on them. “Soft? Me of all people?”
Eskel joined him in his giggling. “Yes you. Especially you. I think you’re the softest witcher I have ever met in my days.”
“That is a lot coming from you of all people.” Letho kissed the grin on his face with a smile of his own. “You make kittens seem cruel.”
“Kittens?” Eskel pulled back to peer at viper. He looked at Letho and held his gaze. “I much prefer wolves.”
“I do too.”
