you're telling me that Bella "Simulates Killing Herself To Feel Something" Swan doesn't adopt a substance abuse problem after Edward leaves??? You're telling me Bella "Take My Soul, I Don't Want It Without You" Swan isn't a crossfaded mess when Alice comes to find her? That her hands don't shake from a comedown on the plane to Volterra, that she doesn't throw up in the stolen car ride through italy, that she's not absolutely sick as a DOG staring down the vampire government? That Edward's heart doesn't completely shatter realizing that her room smells like stale beer and weed smoke as he carries her up to her bed, that he never finds a stash of Charlie's muscle relaxers in her dresser drawer and absolutely freaks out? That the entirety of Eclipse shouldn't be about Bella struggling to kick her habit and struggling not to replace her addiction to substances with her addiction to Edward and struggling against his really puritanical ideas about Resisting Urges and having Self Control?
Pah.















