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Happy 109th birthday to the person who, in my opinion, is the most beautiful character ever!!! 🥹❤️‍🩹

For many of us, he means so much more than we can put into words. He may be fictional, but his impact on us is real, and so is our love for him.

Bucky, you will always live on in us 💓

It'll nsver not break my heart that he isn't allowed to find the peace he so desperately craves. He is an innocent victim who deserves to finally live for himself outside of trauma, not live in service to pay off an eternal debt that was never his 💔

#i'd give anything for him to be given the opportunity to acknowledge that he is an innocent victim #that the Winter Soldier is not a “corrupt” part of himself #That's called externalization of trauma #the difference between having lived through the horror and being the horror.#that's the only way to talk about a true path to healing #without this #there can be no experience of relief. peace. or any positive emotion such as curiosity about life #only eternal condemnation to traumatic servitude #where his perception of self-value is based solely on being useful not on his humanity #sorry. i know this should be a happy post 😭💔#but after learning about trauma psychology #I just want real healing for Bucky where he learns that he has intrinsic value outside of the battlefield ❤️‍🩹#happy birthday Bucky 🥹❤️‍🩹#i'll love you forever 💓#bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #sergeant james buchanan barnes #mcu bucky barnes #marvel #mcu

"So, the Ass wheel is real.."

A true treasure of the Nameless, one he'll hold close. No matter where you spin.

Ass.

#| IC Musings #This would not be this particular Caelus blog #Without this

So, they just made Wilbur end his stream..... because he wouldn’t give Tubbo a color...

Toxic children.

Today, I was hit with the knowledge that my best friend, who I’ve known online for probably about 3-4 years now, has changed, and even though we’re still friends and communicating every day, things can no longer go back to how they used to be; we can’t get as excited about things anymore like we used to, because she’s not interested in what I am as much anymore, and has less time to be even if she wanted to.

People change, and long-lasting friendships change, and I knew logically that this happens, but it’s something I wasn’t prepared for in a million years. I can’t stand change, especially when it comes to this. Knowing that my online friends are the only source of sanity I have, my only real people to talk to, stuck in my house with parents who don’t understand me and no way to go out and make local friends as I am. I want those old days back from 2016-ish. I don’t want to lose them, some of the happiest moments of my life.

My friends grow up and mature, but I don’t think I ever will. I’ll always be lonely, and needy, and desperate for interaction over weeb stuff because of how happy it makes me, how it’s my only true source of escape and joy. Eventually they’ll all leave me behind, and I’ll still be stuck here, still mentally a kid, without a true job or having done any real work like they all are.

Why do I have to be this way, so naive and ignorant and eternally with the mind of a kid? Is that what anybody even wants of a friend, a friend who can’t understand and adjust to what goes on in their life outside of them, who only wants to talk about fiction 24/7? I doubt it. Of course not.

I just know I’m terrified of more change, until I’m all alone again for real.

#personal posts #a;lkjsjklglkgjjkllk why am i posting this #i hate change #i'm just a sad whiny baby stuck in richmond virginia who can do nothing but laze around the house watching youtube videos about anime #and playing video games #with parents who i don't connect with #and the most productive things i do are draw fanart and write fanfiction #my friends are all YOUNGER than me and yet they are miles more mature and miles more successful already than I ever will be #and all i can think about doing is clinging to them and keeping them with me because it's all i know to do to keep myself happy #and expect them not to change #and cry when they do #cry cry cry #not everyone can dedicate their lives to weeb shit 24/7 like you do dana #some of them are ACTUALLY PRODUCTIVE AND HAVE OTHER INTERESTS #but i still hold onto the fantasy that things can stay the way they are forever #because without them #without this #i am nothing #i'm so lucky to have the friends i do but if they had met me in real life they wouldn't have given me the time of day #because of how i look and because i'm so needy and desperate for friendship #and all i can do is mope and complain and pity myself OTL

I used to think I was aro but guess what it was the depression + a shit ton of social anxiety making me too exhausted and nervous to pursue anything with anyone so. That's something to know I guess

#I have cried a lot today #in a good way?#I was finally.... acknowledged #and I'll be going on meds soon #hopefully I find out who I am #without this #wish me luck

when ur talking to a guy and its casual and shit so ur just vibin and than they pull out the "you sure you dont wanna come over and cuddle?"

aaaaaaaaand ya lost me

#me #can i literally just talk to a person #without this #like pls i wanna talk about aliens and music

some days it's just this constant sting other days it's this dull ache that feels like such a dead weight

#some days i cry #some days i spend my time just trying to breathe #living is tiring enough #without this #trauma #actuallytraumatised #trauma post

#without this

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