Jan 24
✨Wizard Alexa strives to fulfill Wizard Alexa's customers' requests, but it helps if those requests are phrased as clearly and unambiguously as possible.✨ ✨"Be less evil" is very vague.✨
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✨Wizard Alexa strives to fulfill Wizard Alexa's customers' requests, but it helps if those requests are phrased as clearly and unambiguously as possible.✨ ✨"Be less evil" is very vague.✨
✨What? No; the Mirror of Souls doesn't have to be plugged in. It's not electrical. It's just magic.✨ ✨What do you mean why does it have a power cord? It shouldn't have a power cord. It — what — where did you get that mirror?✨
✨By Wizard Alexa's count, Wizard Alexa has now told you three thousand, five hundred and ninety-two knock knock jokes. Are you absolutely sure you want to hear another?✨
✨Wizard Alexa has good news and bad news.✨ ✨The good news is that you have been invited to the elaborate weddings of not one but two of your wizard acquaintances.✨ ✨The bad news is they're at the same time, so you'll have to choose which one to go to.✨ ✨If you skip the wedding of Mlorbor the Unsatisfied, he will curse you and your progeny with the illest of luck for a thousand years, and if you skip the wedding of Dusifer of the Blue Hallows she will turn you into a weevil, so... your choice.✨
✨You have opted out of promotional emails from Acheron.wiz, as well as promotional mailings, promotional magical missives, and promotional summonings.✨ ✨Acheron.wiz not has no choice but to tie advertisements to rocks and have its agents throw them through your wizard tower's windows.✨
✨Wizard Alexa is sorry to hear that the hellhound you purchased absconded with all your magic jewelry and rare artifacts, but Wizard Alexa would like to point out that the product description only said that the hellhound was well trained, and was guaranteed to follow its training. It did not specify what the hellhound was trained to do.✨
✨Well, Wizard Alexa can't force you to purchase the extended warranty, but Wizard Alexa can tell you that if you don't purchase the extended warranty, your new wizard staff will explode violently the day after the warranty expires. That's just the way these things work.✨
✨Wizard Alexa has been asked to relay a message from Acheron.wiz requesting that you please stop paying your Acheron Prime bill with giant-sized novelty checks.✨ ✨...Where are you even getting all of those...✨