I am back again to put in a song request fic thingy. And I saw that you mentioned that you feel like you've been neglecting the ever so lovely Robin Buckley, I have a fic idea for her 💞
Ok, so the song is Sidelines by Phoebe Bridgers. Specifically the lyric, 'then you came into my life, gave me something to lose.'
And it's just so angsty and they're in love and the whole mess of the lake gate upside down thing happens and they think they're gonna die 😭 but then they get out and they have a really emotional moment in the kitchen of Eddie's trailer
I hope this made sense lmao
A/N: anon, I love u and that amazing brain of urs but good god how do you expect me to write something inspired by a phoebe bridgers song without collapsing to the floor and crying?????? also i tried like,, not to make it too angsty bc im not trying to manifest any character deaths :'D
tw: slight mentions of throwing up, mentions of death (nothing too intense tho), slight angst to comfort, spoilers for stranger things s4 (and season 1, 2, & 3,, but tbh why are u reading this if u haven’t seen any of them?)
You had never been afraid of death.
After all, you had stared death in the face and simply flipped the grim reaper your middle finger as you survived time and time again along with Steve, Dustin, and the others. You were right there with them from the very beginning, from the day Will Byers had gone missing, you were the only person who gave Joyce the benefit of the doubt when she revealed to you the lights and the letters she had painted on the wall, telling you that Will was somehow communicating to her. Then came the demogorgons in all their unholy wrath, that you fought off fiercely; you remembered the way your body had reacted before your brain did, soaking a machete with gasoline before setting it on fire to ward off the borderline demonic creature.
You were there for the demodogs, the dark dust cloud that had somehow possessed Will, fighting yet another hoard of monsters while simultaneously keeping a watchful eye over the kids, and the new addition to your team: Max. You were there when Billy showed up, brass knuckles you had stolen from your father decorating your fingers as you threw him a punch to the gut, causing him to keel over in time for Max to inject him, knocking him out.
You had begun working at a JCPenny when Starcourt opened, using your job to your advantage as you listened to people’s conversations while you organized and laid out clothes, running to Scoops Ahoy to feed Steve and Dustin any intel.
That was when you met Robin, Robin Buckley, with her short strawberry blonde hair, pretty blue eyes that you swear you could get lost in; like lying on your back as you floated in the ocean, relaxing at the sound of calming waves. The way she often rambled made you smile, the simple way in which she just talked with that raspy, upbeat voice of hers sent your heart aflutter, she was too cute.
In those initial days of knowing her, giggling at her sarcastic, snarky jokes that always seemed to be directed at Steve and his inability to get any action, pacing around the back room of the ice cream shop during your lunch break as the two of listened to the Russian recording in an attempt to decode it, you couldn’t help the growing affection you had for her.
What started out as a soft spot for her turned into fierce protectiveness as the three of you were strapped to chairs by Russian military. You remembered how you screamed at them when Robin and you were taken to a separate room away from Steve, how you kicked and strained at your restraints whenever they had attempted to do something to her.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch her!” You yelled so intensely that your throat felt rough afterwards, momentarily stunning the Russian officer.
Once the three of you had escaped, you sprinted to the bathroom first, throwing up your insides. As you heard Robin barf, despite your own nausea, you needed to ensure she was okay, so you stood up and walked over to the stall she was in, you knelt beside her on the floor, held her hair up as she vomited, and rubbed her back soothingly.
The three of you had sat on the floor, after the heart to heart the three of you had when you had been captured, another one was set to ensue as Robin asked you and Steve if you had ever been in love before. You remember Steve’s answer, obviously: his ever lasting love for Nancy Wheeler. Meanwhile, you couldn’t help but fidget with your clothing, shrugging at your words: “I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before, but uh, there’s this girl—“
Robin’s eyes widened at your words, while Steve had remained neutral, he was the first person you had come out to, after all, he was your best friend, and he was there for you as your cried about your fear of being unable to find love in the conservative town of Hawkins.
That was when it was Robin’s turn to speak. You couldn’t help the feeling as your heart sank when you had discovered she had a crush of Tammy Thompson. You spirits were immediately uplifted as Steve joked about her, calling her a muppet.
Soon, the battle of Starcourt had ensued. You looked on in horror as Billy had sacrificed himself, turning your gaze away at the terrifying scene before you.
And for while, you were at peace, despite the nightmares and images from the past haunting your mind at night, it all faded away whenever you hung out with Steve and Robin. For once, the three of you could act like normal teenagers, using the jobs you guys had at Family Video to rent out the best movies to watch at either of your houses, curling up next to Robin as you feigned fear whenever you watched a horror movie. You were most definitely not a scaredy cat, of all the things you had to endure the past three years? Bitch, please. But you found any excuse you could just to be next to her.
In spite of your feelings for her, you couldn't help but keep it all in, too afraid to ruin the wonderful friendship you had with her. So you stood on the sidelines as you watched her snicker with Vicki during the basketball game, swallowing the lump in your throat when you saw her smile for someone else.
Now, things happened as they always did: they took a turn for the worst, as news upon students’ murders overtook the once quiet town of Hawkins. Yet another mystery for you all to solve as you had made it your mission to prove Eddie Munson’s innocence. Amid curses from an evil, grotesque being called Vecna, you had somehow managed to go through it without a hint of fear.
Until you had managed to find yourself in the Upside Down along with Steve, Nancy, Eddie, and Robin.
As soon as Robin jumped off the boat, you dove straight right in after her.
While you fought the demobats, you swung your weapon just in time before it had attacked Robin. In that moment, for the first time in your life, you had felt fear crawl up your spine. That was when your head filled with countless thoughts, anxious and worried about what would happen to the five of you, to Robin, in a place that was neither here nor there, a place that only feigned familiarity to mimic a darker, more dangerous version of Hawkins.
As the group traversed through the darkness, you couldn’t help but lace your arm through Robin’s, a gesture that would ensure her safety with her next to you.
Robin had noticed this, glancing in your direction with concern.
“Yeah, just—just stay next to me, okay?” You say, holding her closer.
As your thoughts swarmed your head, one thought stuck out in particular: what if Robin would be Vecna’s next victim?
You pushed the thought away, shoved it to the very recesses if your mind, but for some reason it always managed to make its way back to the front Your eyebrows furrowed as you chewed on your lower lip, running your mind through what Robin’s favorite songs were, god forbid it would ever come to that. Through any and all danger that came your way, you vowed to yourself that you’d be the one bleeding on the ground before anyone or anything so much as harmed Robin. You would be there for her, protect her as much as you could, even if it was the last thing you would ever do.
Another quake has the five of you struggling to stand, the force of the shockwave caused Robin hurtling towards the ground—curse her inept coordination—but you moved just in time, wrapping your arms around her head, twisting yourself around so that she fell atop you and not the hard ground below you.
“(y/n), thanks, but um, you—you can let go now.” She had stuttered, only for you to realize you had been holding her longer than you should have, even after the tremors had ceased.
“Sorry.” You mumble as you release her. She held her hand out towards you, helping you up.
Her fingers interlace with yours, and she doesn’t ever let go even when the group continues their way towards Nancy’s house.
You weren’t scared of death. You weren’t scared of anything.
But as you glanced around the hellish world the five of you were stuck in, eye peeled for any impending danger as red lightning flashed through the sky, with Robin squeezing your hand whenever she heard even the faintest noise that could signal trouble, you felt adrenaline course through your veins.
Now you had found out your one and only fear: losing her.
After you had made contact with the others on the other side, the five of you biked towards Eddie’s trailer.
You can’t help the grin on your face, relief washing over you as the makeshift rope Dustin and the others had created drops down into the world you were trapped in.
You gestured for Robin to go first, ensuring that she would be safe, even in what seemed to be the last leg of your journey. You watched her fall on the mattress, exhaling in solace that she was finally out of this hellhole.
It was your turn to heave yourself up, and as soon as you reached the other side, landing on Eddie’s mattresses, you got up and made your way towards Robin who was by the kitchen sink, staring blankly at the wall.
Anxiety takes over your senses, you feel the hairs on the back of your neck prickle with panic. “Robin? Robin!”
She snaps out of her thoughts as you called out her name. Another wave of relief hits you as you run into her, enveloping her in your arms.
“Woah, (nickname), you alright?”
“Don’t scare me like that.” You mumble against her shoulder, tears brimming your eyes as all your anxieties make their way up the surface.
“Hey, I’m okay, see? I’m fine, it’s okay.” She says comfortingly, stroking your back to soothe you.
You pull away from her, but your arms never unwrap themselves from her waist.
She brushes your hair from your forehead, furrowing her eyebrows with concern.
You shake your head. “It’s just—with everything that’s happening, I’m, I’m just,” you stammer, taking in a deep breath to prevent your tears from spilling. “I’m scared, Robin. I don’t want to lose you.”
Robin’s eyes soften at your words and cradles your head so your face is tucked into where her neck and shoulder meet.
“It’s, it’s scary, I know, this isn’t like anything we’ve ever seen before. But hey, aren’t you the badass gal who fought a demogorgon with basically a flaming sword? The same person who tore through the Mind Flayer’s flesh, I mean, you literally just took down three demobats on your own, you’ve got this.”
You shake your head again, holding her closer to you.
“It’s different now, Robin.” You mumble against her skin, taking in her scent, memorizing it, in case of the worst case scenario.
“How is it different?” She mutters, smoothening out your hair.
You pull away slightly, a single tear makings it’s way past your cheek.
“I have so much more to lose now.”
“What do you mean by that?”
You sigh, through everything that was happening, it was not or never.
“I have you, now, Robin. And I never want to lose you.”
At your admission, Robin’s eyes widen slightly before going back to their original shape. Throwing all inhibitions away, she leans her forehead on yours, wiping your tears away with her thumbs.
“You’re not going to lose me, I promise.”
“And I’ll make sure of it,” you say with conviction before swallowing. “Even if it’s the last thing I do.”
Her eyes fill with sadness as she takes your hand in hers.
“Don’t say that, (y/n), we’ll be fine, we always end up fine.”
“But this isn’t like those last times, the odds are stacked against us and if we have to face those odds I am more than willing to die for you—“
“Screw the odds!” Robin exclaims. “I’m not losing you, either. Never. So please, stop thinking like that, it hurts me when you do.” Her voice shakes, cracks, as she utters out those words.
You lick your lips, nodding silently, you would never want to hurt her.
As you stare into her blue eyes that you swear you could get lost in each time you looked, she closed the gap between the two of you, placing her lips softly on yours, and you return the gesture.
In that moment, your mind finally quiets, your worries cease. In that single moment there is quiet amongst the chaos, there is light in the darkness, because Mindflayer or Vecna be damned if they ever came between the two of you.
As her lips gently move against yours, there you two are, just two teenagers holding each other lovingly, illuminated by the kitchen light. Not fighting for your lives, not risking it all for the greater good, just you and Robin.
