#wordfather

[trek-tracks]

Don't Do What Doctor Dumbass Does

[incorrectedda]

Þórr: *seductively* doomed by the narrative all by yourself, handsome?

Jǫrmungandr: *reveals traits that foil yours* Not for long.

[wordfather]

fathers day is now moved to december 6th bc its my birthday happy fathers day guys

[amarantine-amirite]

I Go Through All This

Megan struggled when things failed to go her way. And tonight, nothing went her way.

The dress she had planned to wear to the winter formal got cremated along with her biological mother. The only outfit she had left that she could wear to the dance was an Adidas tracksuit. Even then, she could only pull off that look because the theme was “Russia”. Her date spent the night in jail because someone framed him for a crime he did not commit. Poor Megan had to go by herself. More people showed up to the formal than the building could accommodate. The dense crowd made her feel constricted and claustrophobic.

She struggled to cope if stuff went wrong. The thinking part of her brain would shut down. On the outside, she came off as calm, cool, and collected. On the inside, she teetered on the edge of a meltdown. If one more thing went wrong, she would lose it.

James came to the dance on his own, too. He did this by choice, not because he didn’t have a date. He figured he could pick up girls here. So far, every girl he tried to chat up, her date had seen the whole thing. He’d been kicked in the nuts roughly 4 times.

Then he saw Megan. She was skinny, reasonably good-looking, had no facial hair, and most importantly, she didn’t have a date. Just as the lyric I wanna dance with somebody, with somebody to love me played over the speakers, he made his way over to her. “Hey,” he said, tapping her on the shoulder.

“What?”

James took a deep breath and said it. “I wanna dance with you until the cows come home.”

Megan‘s face lit up like the Hindu festival of Diwali. “Really?” she said, elated.

Except it wasn’t to be. He danced with her for about five minutes, then changed his mind. “On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows until you came home.”

She stopped and glared at him. “Did you just call me a cow?” she asked.

James stood there, paralyzed. He shook his head. “Well, no, but…”

She wouldn't let him finish the sentence. “Not funny,” she said as she stormed away, “didn’t laugh.”

Megan ran off to the bathroom. Tears flooded her eyes. She moved like a centipede missing 98 of its legs. No sooner did she get there and lock the door than somebody started pounding. Annie had cheaped out on sushi, and she would now pay for her mistake. "Please tell me you're done in there?"

Megan just leaned on the sink, squeezed her eyes shut, and wept.

"I can hear you crying in there, open the door, please," shouted Annie. Megan ignored her.

Annie wasn't fooling around. "I’m serious, open the door! I got to use the bathroom, and I got to use it badly!"

"Go away!" Megan shouted through the door, "Can’t you see I’m hurting?"

Annie's patience wore thin. She got ready to break down the bathroom door. "This isn’t a joke," she barked, "I feel like I got monkeys flying out of my ass!"

Megan continued to sob. She didn't care that Annie's lower intestine was about to explode. "Consider this your last warning,” she shouted, “If you don’t open the door in t minus 5 seconds, I am breaking it down!"

Annie broke down the door. Megan ran out of the bathroom very quickly after that.

@queen-of-pinkskull

[okeymakeydude]

Medic: I hate you.

Scout: Okay, okay, reasonable but... have you considered this, i'm awesome.

Medic: ...I hate you even more now.

[amarantine-amirite]

Interesting Concept But Poor Execution

I have a problem.

I never know whether or not I’m being rude. My whole life, people have told me “you’re being rude” to shut me up. Consequently, the phrase “you’re being rude” has lost all meaning to me, and now; I genuinely don’t know when I’m being rude.

I think the most recent example of when I wasn’t being rude, but somebody said I was to get me to shut up was when I struck up a conversation with someone of my differential equations class about her pet rabbits. “I have three, and one of them is white with black spots, so we named him Oreo”

As a joke, I asked her, “Is he double-stuff or regular?”

We both laughed.  Her friend glared at me. “You’re being rude,” she hissed in my direction. I tuned her out. She sounded like she probably had a stick up her ass.

Over the years, I have met tons of people that do this. But the worst offender of them all was a girl named Terrie Banya.

I first met Terrie in high school, around the time my family and I prepared to move across the country. We had to keep this move a secret, and my mom had a massive project she had to do before we could leave. As a result, I got stuck doing all the moving chores. I’d often call my classmates over to help me out.

It all started when she tried to hijack all my conversations. At first glance, it seems like a minor annoyance. It was actually a huge problem because she’d use it to avoid doing things that were important.

"OK," I began, "I made a list of all the tasks we need to do, and I don't number one on the list is take the dining room table and the hutch were not using anymore do the pawnshop, and-”

Terrie cut me off. “Speaking of pawnshops, did you know that my cousin was mugged in a pawn shop, and they were arrested for mugging themselves because they were trans"

I roll my eyes at her. “Don’t do that." I said. Stuff needed to be done. I needed Terrie to help me. Now was not the time for her to drag me into her family nonsense. "This isn’t trivial, we have to do everything on this list in order, because we need the money from the pawnshop to pay for the plane tickets”

Terrie shook her head. Try as I might, she would just not listen to reason. “This is a huge problem, and no one’s talking about it, and frankly, Heather, you’re being rude.”

In the end, none of the stuff that needed to go to the pawnshop ever got there. And all because Terrie tried to hijack the conversation to get out of doing stuff.

When my family finally left, it occurred to me that Terrie was more trouble than I realized. I always knew that whenever I said something important, she’d always say something like “I don't care about your Bee Movie opinions, go to sleep." But it wasn't until after I was away from her that it occurred to me that she was doing something far more sinister: she was trying to gaslight me.

All the signs were there. She denied the reality that you experience. She didn’t accept responsibility which means they lack the ability to respond and that leads to constant blaming. She raised her voice easily and confused me with everything, and her actions and words almost always contradicted each other.

I bet she felt good criticizing me. I bet she saw interpersonal relationships as a battlefield where someone struggles to be in control. Every single time I reminded them of what they said or did previously, the next word out of her mouth was ‘’You know what’’, with no further explanation. And any time I apologized and promised to do things better next time, it made her more aggressive. If that isn’t gaslighting, then I don't know what is.

One morning, at 2 AM, I came up with a plan to give Terrie Banya a taste of her own medicine. She tried to gaslight me, I would gaslight her back. Like our plans you come up with at 2 AM, this one had a serious flaw. Namely, I forgot that the word “gaslighting” did not mean “light your farts on fire”.

It should go without saying that lighting your farts on fire is a bad idea. You run the risk of burns on sensitive parts of the body, your clothing or skin catching fire, along with permanent scarring. If you're unlucky, you may char your lower intestine. All in all, not good.

I learned that lesson the hard way.

First, I tanked up on beans open (because, you know what they do). Then, I made a voodoo doll of Terrie.

At midnight, I went into the garage and drew a pentagram. I sat in the middle, and placed the voodoo doll on the point facing north. Finally, I got the lighter, pointed my ass at the voodoo doll, and let 'er rip!

It went wrong. Very wrong. Not only did it blow back into my rectum, it also set fire to my flannel onesie.

Yowch!

@weirdprompts

[wordfather]

[wordfather]

Frequently Asked Questions

Ask your questions, traveller, and I might give you the answers you seek.

1. Can I use your prompts?

Of course, they’re here to inspire y’all!

2. Am I supposed to credit you?

It’s completely up to you whether you credit me or not. It is greatly appreciated if you do though. 

3. Who are you?

I was born in ye olde 1998 on the sixth of December, already a father, not in fact but in nature. This is confusing as I am a female but that doesn’t deter me from my purpose.

English is my second language, my native language is Icelandic. This lad just likes words.

4. Do you take requests?

Not at the moment, no.

5. Why haven’t you answered my ask?

I get a lot of asks. Most are requests I don’t have time for or anon asks that i would prefer to answer privately. I’m sorry if I didn’t answer your ask but know that I read it and appreciated it nonetheless.

6. Is that prompt from something?

If the ideas are specifically from something, the source will be in the tags.

7. Tips?

I’m not a professional and I’m not an experienced writer. I’m trying to build up my skill, but I am not good enough to give any smart tips.

8. Can you stop shitposting?

You have no idea how hard it is to pretend to have more than one (1) brain cell, let me live. 

9. What’s your discord server about?

It’s really just a place for writers to chat. You can be relaxing, working on your story or just checking in to mingle. We’re all about being welcoming and nice to each other, and don’t tolerate hateful comments. We do word sprints and reading nights that everyone is welcome to join and occasionally we have some fun challenges!

We also have a vent channel if you ever need someone to talk to.

Anyone is welcome to join! Even if you have only written one word in your entire life (big mood), you’re still wholeheartedly welcome.

That’s all I have for now. If you have any further questions, ask away. If not, carry on with your travels, and may the road ahead be kind to you.

Personal blog: @spicymemedad

Discord server for writers:  the word people 

updated: 19/3/19