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"you should smile more"

work in retail, another comic.

inspiration: old tiktok trend, movie "Obsession" (2026)

Timezone Changer (contributed)

Once got a very nasty call from a lady on the East Coast ( I'm in California). Id returned her call after she left a not-so-nice voicemail for us complaining how she can never get a hold of us. The message in question was left at 5am our time. I call her and she goes off on how she's waited 3 hours for a call back. I apologized and said we only just opened a minute before. She then told me our company was disgusting and we are scam artists for changing time zones on her.

#retailanonymous #retailsucks #workinretail #contributions #notalwaysright #retailblows

Profits Over Safety -Petsmart Recall

Let me start off that working at Petsmart did one thing and one thing only for me. Working there really gave me the chance to define my morals. Since our store had no security cameras employee theft was rampant, and try and take a break at this place and suddenly you would have bathroom duty for weeks. Working for that location was one of the best opportunities in my life, yet also one of the worst decisions in my life.

Sharon the store manager was informed of a product recall for a popular flea and tick preventative medications for dogs and cats. I found out when coming in that morning and checking my company email. I immediately took the items out of our inventory on our computer system that way if any customers attempted to purchase the item my cashiers would be unable to ring up the item and require assistance which would give me the chance to inform the customer of the recall. Afterwards I began my routine inspection of the store, then moved on to taking the product off the shelves. After about twenty minutes Sharon came up and asked why I was taking the product off the shelves, and when I informed her of the recall she stated that she knew, but since we had such a large inventory it would cost too much send it back. So Sharon told me that I was to put the product back on the shelves, reenter them in our electronic inventory system and go about my day as if I had never seen them.

Needless to say I was shocked by her statements and tried to get her to change her mind. When she was unwilling to budge I reluctantly told her that I would add the items back to our inventory after my lunch break, all while knowing she was going to be leaving for the day well before. After Sharon left for the day I went about taking the product that I had already removed and proceeded to begin the return protocols for a recall item. I ended up staying three hours over my scheduled shift in order to make sure that I had the items properly packed and ready to be sent back that next morning before her arrival. If I had everything scanned out and reports printed then there was no way that she could simply re enter the items into our electronic inventory system. When she found out the next morning she threatened to have me fired for insubordination and staying past our payroll. At this point I did not care what she had to say. She had tried to get me to leave products that could have been dangerous to our pets out for sale, so I ended up telling her that if that is what she wanted to do then she should go ahead and do just that. I also told her that my morals are worth more than any job, and that if she did end up firing me then I was taking her down with me. I would be calling the district manager, the news stations and even our ethics line. I have always held the belief that your morals are always worth more than any job, and by doing what I did I was able to prove those beliefs to myself.

For more hilarious retail horror stories check out retailanonymous.com

#retail #retailanonymous #workinretail #retailsucks #petsmart #recall #gladiquit

Shoplifting & Illegally Parked... Karma Rocks! - CVS

This week while working at CVS I had a young black woman in her early twenties In a very nice Mustang decide to not only park in one handicapped spot, but to park sideways and take up two handicapped spots. This is something that really makes me judge the hell out of you. I know you shouldn’t judge a book by the cover, but this woman was all dressed up, parked sideways and left her engine running with her profanity infused bass thumping rap music playing on loud. Well I noticed this shortly after she came in so I got on our intercom and said “Will the owner of the black newer model Ford Mustang please come to the front.” I waited a few minutes, and she did not come, so I paged again, “Will the owner of The newer model black Ford Mustang please come to the front you are parked illegally.” Still nothing after a few more minutes.

Around this time I notice an older man probably in his seventies pulling into our store, and he has to park a ways from the door. I watch him as he walked to the passenger door and helps his presumed wife out of the car. This woman is in bad shape, and is using a walker. I am pissed at this point and decide to go and find this woman who is taking up two of my handicapped spots. Mind you that at this point at least ten minutes had already passed. When I find her down our razor aisle I confronted her and said mam, I need you to move your vehicle, you do not have a handicapped tag, or placard and therefore I need you to move your vehicle or I will have it towed. She started yelling at me that she was only going to be a minute and that it did not matter because someone could park elsewhere. I tried to politely explain to her that those spots are for those that need it, and not for lazy entitled h**s like herself.

She refused to move her vehicle and just then the older man walked by as he had overheard us talking. He tells the young woman that taking up two spots like that is a great way to get her car keyed. She told him to “F off I’ll park wherever I want!” At this point I realize she is not going to move her vehicle and so I go to my office and I call our towing company that services our area. He tells me that he can be there in about ten minutes. I was afraid that she would be leaving by then and my fears soon became true. She came up to the front with nothing more than a bottle of shampoo, and I instantly wonder where in the hell all the razors that she had just minutes before had gone. I tell her that I would not be checking her out until she moved her vehicle, and that none of my employees would be checking her out either.

This pisses her off and she proceeds to slam the bottle of shampoo down and says to me “well I got what I needed anyway.” As she is walking out my security buzzer goes off, and she has not made any purchases so I immediately confront her. (By the way I am breaking so many policies by this point) As I confront her I notice that in her bag is more than a few high dollar razor blade refills still in our security boxes, so at this point I do not give her a choice I tell her that she is coming with me and that she is caught. She reluctantly follows me to my back office and I give her the choice. She can either return all the stolen merchandise and I can take her photo and send it in, or I can call the police and they can deal with her. She gives me this sob story about how her boyfriend told her to do it and that her mom is sick, bullshit! I again remind her and she agrees to return everything,

Well in the middle of everything, I get a knock on my door and it was our tow truck driver. I had forgotten about this guy by this point, and he said hey here is your ticket I already got the Mustang loaded. This pissed her off even more!!! I am laughing at this point and I have what I needed done, so I let her go and she comes back in a few minutes later, and says that her car had been keyed and that I HAD to give her security footage so that she could find out who did it.

Mind you we do not have security cameras in the parking lot, and I am dying laughing at this point. I am trying to be calm and collected, and maintain a modicum of professionalism, but this was just too funny! I tell her that we do not have security footage in our parking lot, and that even if she did I would not be able to directly hand it over to her. I then proceed to explain to her that due to her shoplifting she was not welcome at the store and that if she did not leave the grounds I would call the police and have her arrested for trespassing.

All in all she was caught shoplifting, parked in two handicapped spots, had her car KEYED and TOWED and was forced to leave the store. I say that Karma is good. I suspect that it was the old man, but without actually witnessing the event, or having it on cameras I couldn’t do anything about it, I ended up telling the officer that came later that day to investigate my suspicions, but he simply brushed it off stating, that he was not too concerned as she was parked in handicapped spots, and that since it was not caught on security footage there was nothing he could do for her.

One of my best WIN days so far while working for CVS.

See more hilarious retail horror stories at retailanonymous.com

#etail #retailanonymous #retailsucks #workinretail #workinginretail'#myjobsucks #ihateretail #customers #notalwaysright #parked #parking #keyed #rude #funny #police #cvs

Epic Way I QUIT Walmart!

So here is a retail story about petsmart grooming salon. After working as a bather for Petsmart for awhile I had the hang of things. However we had just hired this new bather who we shall name Natali for the purpose of this story. Natali was the kind of girl who is overly dramatic and tended to get on people nerves for being needy and a little slow. She was not really slow, but instead often attempted to play the dumb blonde, although she was actually brown haired. She was 19, and about 5 feet and say 4 inches give or take. Well one day Natali was learning how to do the anal glands on a dog, and I had the perfect dog to teach her. A small little Yorkie about 3 years old. I showed her where to stand and where to apply pressure and I did it myself. Well I go about my day and about an hour or so later she tells me that she is taking this little Shih-Tzu and is going to do the work and bathe it. Well I was supposed to be watching her for the first two weeks and had a little free time so I watched her clip the nails, and trim up the hair around the feet. Next was the anal glands, teeth brushing and the bath. I followed her into our back room which was essentially a concrete room with specially built bathtubs that stood up about 3.5 feet off the ground so that you could easily maneuver around the dog. Natali started to brush the dogs teeth and did a pretty good job. Around this time I am getting called up to the front to help a customer with checking in a dog. I tell Natali to hold on and that I will be right back, but to wait for me to get back. I had just made it to the front of the store and began my hellos and welcomes to the customer waiting up front when all of a sudden I hear a loud AHHHHHHH!!!!!! and a lot of something like this. "YOU STUPID ******* DOG AND THIS ******* JOB I DON'T NEED THIS ****!!!!!!" The next thing I see as I am looking back is Natali running from our back room through our lobby with a thick brown and green goop all over her face, neck and uniform. Let me tell you the smell of anal glands is MUCH worse then dog poo. She was about to cry and scream at the same time. She was yelling and screaming, while she was walking through our lobby. The customer we had up front ended up throwing up right there on the lobby floor, while her little Chihuahua began happily eating her owners previous lunch. The dogs are going crazy, and everyone is either gagging, or laughing so hard that their faces were about as red as it got. I managed to call over the intercom for our store manager to come back to the salon, and when she got back there she saw the mess on the floor. Vomit, and drips of dog anal glands all over our floor, along with a sick customer, who still hadn't attempted to stop their dog from eating the vomit splurged all over our lobby. Well our store manager had this look of horror on her poor face, as if she had just witnessed some horrible murder. her face was as white as it could get. I thought she was going to pass out, but instead she ended up running out of there in a mad dash to the ladies room. She made it about fifteen feet out of our lobby before she ended up getting sick in the middle of an aisle. This was a nightmare. The only thing I can imagine that would have been any worse is a tipped over portapotty. When Natali finally made it back to our salon she was screaming that she quit, and that it just exploded everywhere. Well turns out what happened is that she did not listen and decided to go ahead and do the anal glands. However this Shih-Tzu was 9 years old, and i guess it just wasn't coming out. So what did she do other than bend down and get within about a foot of the dogs butt, as she began too squeeze. So when it finally came out it came out like a volcano. It spurted out of there like Taco Bell Tuesdays! What ended up happening is we actually had to close down the salon and cancel the remaining appointments for the day. Typically a big no, no. However the store manager was not about to have some poor cashier come and clean it up for their mere $8.00 an hour. She had to call in a cleaning team to come and get it all cleaned up. Natali tried to quit, but her mother ended up coming in the store and told her that if she wanted to continue living at home with her and her step dad then she must have a job, and that it had taken her months to find this one. She ended up working there for about a year, although she transfered to the front store and it was always something we would talk about, even if she did give us that evil brown eye!