📂 WORKING IN A TOXIC WORKPLACE IS LIKE CARRYING A FOLDER OF DOCUMENTS AND A STOMACH FULL OF CEMENT
Because every time you walk in,
you’re rehearsing the case you’ll have to make if someone finally asks:
“Is everything okay?”
The folder is full of proof you’ll never get to use —
slights too small to “prove,”
policies enforced on you but not them,
conversations where you were careful, but they were cruel.
And it’s also full of the work you still keep doing —
thanklessly, relentlessly —
because it’s easier to stay busy
than face the hell you’re in.
The cement is the weight you swallow every morning —
when the elevator doors close,
when you pass their office,
when you smile at someone who’s already twisted your words.
It’s knowing HR is their lawyer, not yours.
It’s watching bad actors get promoted because they “know how to play the game.”
It’s counting how many ways you’ve been told to “be the bigger person”
while they get smaller and meaner.
You learn the choreography of survival:
– Nod when you want to scream.
– “Good morning” when you mean “Stay away from me.”
– Pretend you didn’t notice the meeting that “forgot” to include you.
People outside will tell you:
“Just leave.”
But leaving isn’t a magic trick.
Leaving means dismantling the years you’ve spent
holding this place together despite it breaking you.
Leaving means finding the energy to explain to future interviewers
why you look like you’ve been through war.
And so you stay —
with your folder.
With your cement.
With the silent understanding
between you and the other survivors in the room.
They know.
You know.
We all know.
Reblog if you’ve ever had to smile at someone who was actively trying to break you.
🧠 Read more respect-coded doctrine and emotional architecture at:
👉 https://linktr.ee/ObeyMyCadence
🛡️ Masculine polarity. Scrolltrap psychology. Unforgiven words.
🚪 This one stays with you longer than you’d like.
While I did get a chuckle out of those NSFW SpongeBob drawings, a part of me can’t help but feel weirded out by the fact that they even exist to begin with.
Not because it’s NSFW art that’s drawn by the show’s animators, but because it perfectly sums up how toxic Nickelodeon’s work environment was at the time.
I dunno if much has changed since the Dan Schneider scandal broke, but considering that the guy who came across this artwork chose to omit some stuff because a lot of it was just that vile, it really makes me wonder what other fucked up shit went on behind the scenes at Nickelodeon during that era.
And yes, before anyone says anything, I am aware of the Rugrats storyboard jam that started out as a goof but quickly devolved into a NSFW cluster fuck.
Usually I don't come back this quickly after a chat session, but I wanted to give you guys a little update.
Firstly - I am finnnnneee. I promise.
Emotionally and mentally, I'm doing a lot better than I was before, and I'm incredibly thankful for everyone who reached out. Thank you for letting me disappear for a while without making me feel guilty for it.
Secondly... today's post is a little different.
I want to share something that happened to me recently. This will touch on workplace toxicity, mental health, and emotional wellbeing. If those are topics you're not comfortable reading about, please feel free to scroll past. That's completely okay.
I also ask that we keep this space kind. I know some people believe these topics shouldn't be shared publicly, but I disagree.
Sometimes awareness begins with someone simply saying, "This happened to me."
And today, that's what I'm doing.
Uh... before we get into the heavier stuff... A happier update!
Whatever happened, it also means I finally have a little more time to write again. (For now at least. Unfortunately, bills still exist. Thank goodness for freelance work and side incomes.)
Taehyung's Slow Dancing series will begin publishing on Patreon in August, and Jimin's Letter series is fully available there already.
I'm also planning to finally schedule the promised Tumblr one-shots and work on Patreon-exclusive stories.
And I've somehow become completely obsessed with cooking.
I've practically filled an entire sketchbook drawing the meals I've been making recently (don't ask me how we got here because I genuinely don't know either). I'm thinking about turning them into digital recipe pages to share with you guys.
Would anyone actually be interested in that? Let me know in the comments!
And if you'd like to support my writing, you can also check out my Patreon here!
Okay.
Now for the reason I wanted to write this.
Workplace toxicity can take many forms - sometimes it isn't shouting, sometimes it isn't impossible workloads, and sometimes words that hurt the most come from the people closest to where you work.
It can come from different people - Family businesses, friends working together, long-time mentors - basically, people you trusted.
I'm not saying these things never work. As someone who wants to build things myself, I know they absolutely can.
But I hope you'll always remember one thing: Please don't forget to prioritise yourself.
Because people change - sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, and sometimes they don't even realise they've changed.
We all grow differently because we've all live different lives. Our experiences shape us, our perspectives shape us, and no relationship stays exactly the same forever. Therefore, choosing who you work with - and who you work for - is a much bigger decision than I think most of us realise.
Sometimes you join a company expecting one thing and receive another or other times you return because you remember how good it used to be.
That was me.
I came back thinking I was returning to something familiar.
But instead, I found something completely different. One sentence echoed through almost every conversation I had with my colleagues.
"She wasn't like this before."
From the outside, maybe it sounds like we're simply placing blame on one person and because opinions are subjective - maybe we were, maybe we weren't.
But I'm not here to decide that, neither do i require any of you to decide that.
What I can tell you is what it felt like to live through it.
I went to work every day afraid of being scolded.
Work? Get scolded.
Don't work? Well... obviously you'll get scolded. (That one's kind of a "duh", right? HAHA.)
Work hard but not up to someone's standards? Get scolded.
Offer ideas? Rejected.
Stop offering ideas? Suddenly you lack initiative.
Make a mistake? Get scolded without being told how to improve.
Ask a question? Either get scolded, get another question thrown back at you, or get no answer at all.
Don't ask? Get scolded anyway.
And after a while... You stop asking. You stop thinking. You stop being curious. And that's the part that scared me the most.
Because I wasn't like that.
When I first joined, that workplace gave me structure - It taught me skills I genuinely needed, it gave me experience, and it built part of the foundation I stand on today.
I'm grateful for that.
But somewhere along the way... I grew older and understood myself better... I realised I also needed collaboration.
I needed to be heard, I needed to feel like my voice mattered, and without those things, I slowly lost myself. Looking back now, I know there were still opportunities to grow - There were skills I could have learnt, experiences worth having.
But at the time?
I couldn't see any of them.
Not because they weren't there but because I was exhausted.
When your mind spends every day trying to survive, it doesn't have much room left to stay curious nor excited.
Or hopeful.
Or even like yourself.
People may tell you, "But it's good for your portfolio.", "But it's valuable work experience.", "But everyone has to tough it out."
They're right - Sometimes staying is the right decision.
Again, I'm not here to tell you what to do. I'm certainly in no position to tell you to quit your job. I'm here to remind you that your body has limits, your mind has limits, your heart has limits. And when all three are begging you to listen...
Please.
Listen.
There are a thousand reasons to stay - Good pay, great colleagues, a stable career, benefits, years you've already invested in it.
I understand all of them (been there, thought that.
But I hope you'll ask yourself one question - Not once or twice, maybe like five times, ten times: Are you happy?
The first answer is usually the easy one so keep asking:
Am I actually happy?
Is this how I want to spend my mornings?
Is this the version of myself I want to become?
Is surviving the same thing as living?
These are the answers I don't have for you. Only you do.
This post isn't meant to convince anyone to leave their job. It's simply a gentle reminder - for those who are struggling now, or those who may one day find themselves in a place like I did.
Please remember that you are so much more than your work. Your job is something you do. It is not who you are.
You are made up of your memories - Your laughter, the people you love, the stories you tell, the dreams you haven't reached yet.
Please, don't let one place convince you that you're only worth the work you produce. And if you ever find yourself choosing between protecting your wellbeing and proving yourself to someone else...
I hope you'll choose yourself becuase choosing yourself isn't failure. At times, it's the bravest decision you'll ever make.
If any of you are going through something similar, I hope this made you feel a little less alone. And if you're not ready to talk about it yet...
That's okay too.
When you are ready, I hope you know there will always be someone willing to listen - Your friends, family, community, even me. So... Please be kind to yourself.
Psychological capital at work is drained by hidden toxic behaviors, not technical mistakes. Learn 10 common tactics and how to neutralize them professionally.
