From the sublime to the bad - what's the worst party you have even attended - did you go home early or tough it out?
Oh boy oh boy oh boy.
While working in restaurants I attended many late nightparties. Food service people are basically vampires and party late into thenight. Therefore, both the BEST and WORST parties that I attended were bothduring the 5+ years I worked for Applebee’s Bar and Grill in various locations.
Let’s start with the worst. Chronologically that one camefirst anyway.
So. One thing you should know about me before we dive in- ifyou think I am a mess now, you’re right. But I was an even bigger mess circa2011 when this went down. I was 24. And I thought I was invincible. Party hardevery night. Drinking way more than a girl my size and age should have, mixingthe muscle relaxers that I was on at the time because they made me feel “realnice”. At the time I was dating this guy Johnny (not J! he’s Jonathan) whowould tend to sneak off and snort cocaine and then forget about me entirelyuntil the comedown. One night I got so pissed that I walked out of theapartment we were all partying in and ran into another guy Chris we worked within the hallway. He was just arriving, and he could tell that I was upset, andhe knew it was most likely Johnny’s doing. And I knew Chris liked me. So, me inmy infinite wisdom with the help of about 8 shots of cheap whiskey and threelil blue “helpers” I decided that pushing Chris up against the wall in thehallway and shoving my tongue down his throat would be a good way to get backat Johnny. Joke was on me. Johnny knew about it- saw from the doorway as he wascoming back inside, actually walked past us as it was happening. Chris thoughtit was funny. I actually didn’t leave the party. Well, I couldn’t. I wastrashed and my “boyfriend” just watched me make out with some other guy andfelt nothing, so wasn’t going home with him. And as soon as my tongue was backin my own mouth I had nothing more to do with Chris, so he wasn’t an optioneither. Ended up staying the night at the apartment where the party was with myfriend Meech. She is a fucking angel in my life not just for that night, butgirlfriend literally pulled my face away from what would have been “baby’sfirst line”. Eternally grateful for whatever divine intervention threw her intomy life. So that was the worst one… I could definitely give you more bad thingsthat happened in that time period, but this was the worst at a party.
OKAY BUT THE BEST ONE TOTALLY MAKES UP FOR THE WORST ONE!
Fast forward one and a half years. I’m no longer a mess.Went through QUITE a bit personally (lost my mom, moved 45 minutes away,stopped fucking around with my lil blue friends, trained for and completed amarathon) Was working at a different location for the same restaurant at thispoint, so POOF no Johnny or Chris, or sadly Meech, but we still chat from time totime. Anywho, its December 3rd 2012 and it’s the birthday of one ofthe hostess’ that we worked with so her boyfriend was throwing her a hugeparty. I was lucky enough to be off that night, and got to the party at around10 looking fly AF in a skirt my sister had left home from studying abroad and apair of tall boots that were fire. I got there with some gal pals and we had ablasty blast getting appropriately tipsy. I made a point not to get TOO tipsybecause I knew a certain someone (ahem, enter J) was coming to this party, andI didn’t want to be the girl with the smeared makeup and the messy hair and thespills on my shirt etc. Well, J had to work that night, and one thing led to another,I think someone was fired at the bees that night, and he ended up having toclose. Texted me to let me know he wasn’t sure he was going to make the party,which had me super bummed, but that he would try. I responded saying Iunderstood but that I REALLY hoped he would make it. In the meantime, anotherfriend got WAY too drunk and needed to leave. Someone had offered to drive herhome, but she was refusing to get into the car if myself and my friend Jenna(fun fact, Jenna later officiated our wedding) got in the car with her. So,figuring that J wasn’t coming, or if he was I’d be back before he got there, Iwas like well, dis bitch needs her bed and we need to not have her puking allover the place, so alright, I’ll get in the car. So we do, and we bring drunkgirl home and return to the party. Of course my hopes are up when we get backinside, thinking “well, maybe J is here!” but we went inside and alas, I didn’tsee him. Wah. Poured another shot and took it and as the liquid rolled down mythroat the door opened and like any good John Hughes movie of the 80s, J strodein, locked eyes with me, grabbed my waist, said “Hi,” and kissed me real good.Like a real good smooch. Like a movie smooch. EVERYONE in the room’s eyes wentwide. They were all like “WAIT! Are you two a thing?!” I looked at J and hesaid “Now we are.” We proceeded to spend the night being cute and flirty andthat night we cuddled on the couch til the sun rose. On the other couch lay adrunken co-worker, dressed as a cowboy, though I cannot recall why. As I said,it was December, no where near Halloween, and it was a bday party, not acostume bash. But yeah. Best party ever because I left with the man of mydreams.
