The Point Where Breaking Happens
You came into my life like a beautiful dessert storm, finding me in a open plain that left me vulnerable and exposed. You hit me like the summers rain, Unexpected and Vigorous.
Dripping from my fingers like diamonds from rocks - My body tingles for you but my heart is cold and course.
When you first showed up – I begged you to leave.
My shelter was still in ruins and my eyes still searched for the needed resources to begin the repair. However, you insisted on staying... Promising your rain would bring the needed nourishment.
But like acid, your drops stung my skin, your words like arrows sunk right in. You promised to save me and spun me a dream, a cloak of golden sunshine I tried so hard to believe.
Just as I opened the doors to my secret places within. Removed the curtain that hid the army of demons I was facing. Gave you the bleeding pieces of my heart I had left. Left behind all I knew and loved behind to start a new with you. Shared and surrendered all I had just to help you succeed.
My greatest fear came alive like a powerful beast.
Your gentle rain became a tornado that sucked me in and I lost my footing on crumbling ground.
So there I was left on my bleeding knees and you stood over me and asked - Why I couldn’t see only what you could see.
The truth was – you were the one blind towards me...
Creating a illusion of a three headed monster when in fact, my soul was like a waste land in Autumn - baron, bare and susceptible. Stripped of everything familiar and dependable, everything I ever knew, loved or cared for lay like dead dried up leaf’s all around me.
This is how I begun the journey through one of the most coldest winters I have ever experienced - lost, alone, broken, defeated and unsure.
I begged you to save me, I pleaded for you have empathy... But you turned away from me, forcing my survival instincts to surface, which was to cut all my emotions, and this time too a new level even I wasn’t aware possible. Then I entered a new, grander battle zone without any even a sword so defend myself from the demons that lay ahead.
During this frosty season, were I attempted to hide along the thin shadows of the baron trees, trying to avoid the many foot soldiers sent by *Abaddon* (see footnote). Their eyes of fire, setting the world around me to flame, their senses heightened... hunting for my blood again.
Although this time, you picked at me while I was running from battle after battle - Like a tooth pick picking at the unwanted pieces. When all I longed for at night, shivering in a fetal position, was your warm strong arms I once felt so safe in. But now safe is just a word...
I felt like a soul without a host.
Disconnected from reality due to how you severed my last tie with the humanity, the one that felt unconditional love. You showed me a promise is no more than a means to an end. In a game where the world only spins on the axis of selfish pain.
Abaddon – Herbrew – Destroyer, adivisor, said to be chief of demons. Sometimes regarded as the destroying angel
Artwork - Designed by: TheWoundedWarriorJBH
Written work - Combined effort between myself and a dear friend - My Person
Piece written from a real challenging chapter of my life
