Re: the songs and the overall continuity issues, this gets worse. There are union writers pointing out this:
There are even more tv writers calling them out on it in the qrts, but she makes the best point that they tried to break a union contract smh. Another example:
That’s a good first sentance isn’t it? Pretty much attention seeking; but I know I am shit. So before we get into this rant I want to make a few things clear. This is my own rant, and if you find it, this is going to be a lot of the feelings I have felt over this situation over the past 2 months. Or whatever long it is.
I know as a person I seem overly possessive and shit, and I hope people have noticed I’ve tried to be better. I talk to people now. When I’m not feeling involved, I don’t get upset anymore. I’d rather just sit to myself and think about things for a while. I’m worried that people don’t get that; like please talk to other people. i’m getting over my horrible stages I used to be like all the time. Thank you so much for being there. still.
It was months ago now, when we first met our ‘Handy’ friend, I’m calling her hand because i thought that was fucking smart for a name. I had never seen her before and tbh I was intimidated by her ideas and opinions and the way she acted because she was the type of person I never wanted to be, it is something I see more now. It sounds totally stupid, but I never wanted to be the confident person she was over time. I liked being in my own cliché with my own friends without worrying about anyone else. She was popular and I was not, it was kind of a scary experience for me.
For the first few weeks, she seemed perfectly cool. I was very glad the bay had a friend in such a popular person; I liked the fact that they had met over youtube and they had a giggle’s over things. She could treat me however she wanted to because at least she made my best friend happy. Something I know i felt at times I wasn’t doing; rambling on about things that she didn’t really want to talk about because of my stupid mind, but I could never admit that and that’s seemingly why I let it progress; there was no need for me to step in and talk to her too much, we had like two conversations without the third person in this situation and from the ideas that we gave off, it was simple enough for the both of us to let this situation continue on the way it was.
That was until the typos started.
I will admit, I found typos funny once. That was for about a week; until I realised something. about them. These kids made statements that I used to make as a kid. “Dunno.” “freind”, maybe these words were funny to other people, but to me they never could be. I started to distance myself from this, replyin like i found them funny but most of the time. Errasing myself from the narrative. I used to have a go at my friends spellings, I used to do those things and I know how upset it made them. Why was I going to do it again to people I didn’t even know? Maybe I could have said something about not liking it, but we go back to the thought of making people happy and upset. I couldn’t stand to make my best friend sad. I just couldn’t stand it, and I had to move myself.
Of course though, there are some things you can’t escape.
Smurf’s was fun, but soon enough it was always about blue bird, erasing myself from the narrative made me erase myself from a lot of fucking things. It was always typos, I could talk or listen to about nothing else. My spelling was going down, and even I felt self conscious over what I could type to everyone now. Laughing about them once was funny, but the same thing on repeat every day upset me. I felt like shit, because it was always fucking Binweevils. It was never truly real life, it was about 20 typos an hour and I was getting sick of it, I was getting sick of Handy just because I was sick of the fact my life was being involved around bullying children. I picked out small things “Dumb things??” It’s not dumb, it’s how a kid says something, let them learn for at least fucking once, the comments in there were things I say, and I know I’d get upset if someone called me dumb just because I said something they didn’t get. I'm not the good Samaritan, but for a period of time I just felt shit because I was sick of fucking typos and fucking bullying. It was always look at these fucking typos, and I didn't want none of it. I was feeling lonely and was so ready to quit binweevils, just because I felt it was a society that I was beginning to feel like such a bitch in. I wasn’t helping people or being nice like I should, I was patronising them for something they could not help with when I done the exact same. That’s why I stopped talking, or getting involved. Because I was physically sick at my own actions, and there were times I just couldn’t take it anymore; I wanted to do something else apart from judging little children, the one thing I had feared when I was their age.
Soon enough it was always Golden Bunny (Handy) and my bay. I never got a moment in really when she was there, I didn’t want to speak at all to her. I tried sometimes. But theres only so much “Um.” and “Haha.” you can put up with. She didn’t acknowledge me as much as I liked, but I knew it was my fault. I didn’t really care, I just was upset I never got time on Binweevils with the person who I had only joined it for. It wasn’t what I was thinking of a year ago, and it just made me lonely. It made me sad because I couldn’t stop hearing about typos and then always went silent. Always the one to make my friend have to go off to facebook just because I didn’t want to talk on binweevils; I was never a true friend. I was selfish and every time it happened, I just felt worse.
Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had to make my best friend hide in the game that she obviously didn’t really want to hide in. I’ve felt like shit because of it, and I know I shouldn’t. but I accept responsibility for my part in this situation; it just developed worse and now I just feel bad about it all the time. I’m not sorry about the way I treated Handy, I don’t know, I just have a small piece of anger at them for a lot. Not even trying with me again after I didn’t say hi once or twice. I’ve felt like quitting the internet all together because of this situation, and now it’s been unfolded in spying. I don’t feel safe. Still to this moment to I feel sad and angry and everything, because I’ve let the bullying of children happen when it shouldn’t, I still am the one making people do things they don’t want to do and I know. I still never shut up about my fandom to cover how I feel up sometimes, I make people feel sick of it.
Everything else i wanted to say has already been said, I just feel like sharing my story was something I needed to do and let off my chest. People know my petty points, but the outlined story was something I would rather just keep here. Maybe brood on my thoughts a bit.
