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To Hyphenate or Not

Should you hyphenate—or not?

 The hyphen—misunderstood and misused—is the single, short line that indicates a connection between words, a number and word, a prefix and word, and a suffix and word. (By the way, the prior sentence and this one contain em dashes—a topic for another time!)

 When treated correctly, hyphens enhance clarity. At times, even English professors might debate whether or not the punctuation mark is appropriate, but one or more of the following determines correct usage:

a)    placement in a sentence

b)    dictionary spelling

c)    style preference

 Consider the following guidelines to write hyphens correctly and place them where they belong:

 1.     The hyphen is a short, single line written without spaces in between.

-       One-fourth

-       Mid-November

 2.     To type a hyphen, find the key to the right of the zero and use the lowercase option. Strike the hyphen key only once. You may tap the space bar, but don’t hit the enter key, which creates a dash (another topic).

Hyphen -  

Dash—

 3.     Use a hyphen when two or more words in combination create a compound adjective that precede the noun they jointly describe.

-       The low-quality suits were not worth the money.

-       My daughter loves the girl-friendly shop.

-       I could have written the build-it-yourself instructions more clearly.

-       We were not tempted to swim in the reddish-brown water.

-       The well-written manuscript thrilled my editor.

 4.     If the compound adjective appears after the word modified, then do not not hyphenate.

-       The suits were low quality and not worth the money.

-       My daughter loves that the shop is girl friendly.

-       I could have written the instructions to build it yourself more clearly.

-       We were not tempted to swim in water that was reddish brown.

-       It was well written, so the manuscript thrilled my editor.

 5.     More often than not, hyphenate words with style and self, but use a dictionary to verify any uncertainty about the accepted spelling.

-       Her self-satisfaction was apparent to the team.

-       The team could not get over her selflessness.

-       We love Chicago-style pizza.

-       We love your writing style.

 6.     Do not hyphenate adverbs like very, more, less, most and least, or adverbs ending in ly—unless the hyphen is necessary for clarity.

-       A very meticulously designed mosaic graces the entryway.

-       The organization must be a highly rated charity for our board’s consideration.

-       The gluten-free pasta is a less frequently ordered entree.

-       The Smiths are among our most generous donors.

-       That school produced the most-talented speakers.

 7.     Use a hyphen to connect words for clarity.

-       I am happy to parrot-sit in your home while you’re away.

 8.     Hyphenate idioms (expressions) based upon their placement in a sentence and dictionary spelling.

-       Moving to New York has not altered Mary’s stick-in-the-mud attitude.

-       Moving to New York has not altered Mary’s being a stick-in-the-mud.

-       Do you recommend taking over-the-counter allergy medications?

-       I bought the decongestant over the counter.

 9.     Use a hyphen with a prefix to provide clarity.

-       Mom won’t re-press my dress if I keep trying it on and wrinkle the fabric.

 10.  Use a dictionary to verify whether or not the prefix is part of the word.

-       Mom won’t reconsider pressing my dress if I keep trying it on and end up wrinkling the fabric.

-       Her beloved agent inherited the multimillions she earned from acting.

 11.  Previously hyphenated terms (common vocabulary and proper names) often evolve into compound words, so consult a dictionary or style manual to confirm the correct or preferred form.

-       I am attending a fundraising event.

-       Walmart is running a big sale on gardening items.

-       Please send the group an email with all of the dates for next month’s meetings.

or

-       Please send the group an e-mail with all of the dates for next month’s meetings.

 11.  Hyphenate in-law relationships.

-       John loves his in-laws.

-       Mary’s mother and mother-in-law are hosting the baby shower.

 12.  When it comes to familial relationships, hyphenate greats but not grands.

-       His great-grandmother tells wonderful stories.

-       His great-great-aunt launched the restaurant.

 13.  Use a hyphen to express age as a noun or adjective.

-       They chose not to marry after a four-year-old engagement?

-       All ten-year-olds should plan to practice on Monday.

-       They agreed to accept the six-day-old puppy.

 14.  Do not use a hyphen for age when the timeframe is plural.

-       They chose not to marry after an engagement that’s four years old?

-       All who are ten years old should plan to practice on Monday.

-       They agreed to accept the six days old puppy.

 15.  Use a hyphen to show an age range.

-       Should we have a 21- to 29-year-old age group or a 21- to 39-year-old age group?

 16.  Hyphenate numbers from 21 to 99.

-       The eldest is twenty-one.

-       Three hundred and ninety-nine people attended the event.

 17.  Hyphenate simple fractions.

-       The teacher had used one-fourth of her supplies during the first three months.

-       Four-fifths is equal to eighty percent.

 18.  Do not hyphenate ethnicity unless such terms are used as modifiers.

-       The novel contained a rich account of Italian-American history.

-       Their family is Italian American.

 All in all, a hyphen should deliver clarity, not a distraction. When uncertain, check the dictionary spelling or style guide (as in Chicago or AP). 

More often than not, hyphen usage is not debatable!

My best to you,

Sallie Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

Thoughts or questions? Please contact Write Lady to exchange ideas about effective communications and gain from professional writing and editing services. Receive monthly tips and insights by subscribing at www.writelady.com.

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No More Punctuation Temper Tantrums

Are your punctuation marks sending the wrong message?

 Using end marks and various character treatments in unruly ways might grab attention, but probably not as desired. Whether plainly wrong or merely pointless, writers’ notations commonly sabotage their credibility in the same way kids lose favor when throwing tantrums or persistently whining, “Look at me!”

 Thankfully, the remedy is as easy as noting and correcting such problems.

 To stop those punctuation temper tantrums, consider the following examples of childish tactics along with sophisticated approaches that send clearer, more effective messages:

 1.     Excessive Exclamation Points – Use one exclamation point for impact. Instead of adding emphasis, multiple end marks look like scribble on the page and make the sentiment seem over the top.

Childish: I love the results!!!!! Great job!!!!!

Grown-up: I love the results. Great job!

 2.     Crazy Question Marks – Use a single question mark to prompt an answer. Multiple end marks not only demonstrate impatience, but also discourage engagement by making the writer seem unhinged.

Childish: Where is my order #A1162??????????????

Grown-up: Has my order #A1162 shipped? Please provide details.

 3.     Question-Exclamation Mark Confusion – Either ask a question or make an emphatic statement to convey clarity and maintain self-control. Another option is to pose the question and deliver the declaration in separate sentences.

Childish: Is the report ready?!?

Grown-up: Is the report ready?

Grown-up: Please, send the report!

Grown-up: Is the report ready? If so, please send it!

 4.    Problem: Passive-Aggressive Question Marks – Either pose a question or state the circumstance. The passive-aggressive tactic of declaring something within the framework of a question ineffectively masks an accusation, which alienates the contact rather than resolving any issues.

Childish: We didn’t see you at the open house?

Grown-up: Why didn’t you attend the open house?

Grown-up: We were disappointed that you missed the open house.

 5.     Problem: Never-Ending Ellipsis – Use three consecutive dots—an ellipsis—to inject a pause. If pausing in the middle of a sentence, add a space before and after the ellipsis. If at the end of a sentence, add the final punctuation mark after the ellipsis. Extra, meaningless dots create an unappealing distraction and reveal that the writer is uninformed. In addition to the error of dots galore, excessive ellipses, even if technically correct, are tiresome to readers and make the writer appear indecisive.

Childish: I’m happy to talk with you about this…………….…tough decision.

Grown-up: I’m happy to talk with you about this … tough decision.

Grown-up: I’m happy to talk with you. This is tough ….

Childish: What in the world … goodness! I’m happy to talk with you…. This is tough ….

Grown-up: What in the world! I’m happy to talk with you. This is tough ….

 6.     Problem: Gratuitous Caps – Capitalize according to the rules (such as the first letter in every sentence and in proper names) and to achieve a uniform effect in graphic designs and presentations. To avoid overusing caps, consider alternative ways to phrase and punctuate for impact. Recognize that sentences in all caps typically slow comprehension rates. Random caps further make writers appear tactless, uneducated, or amateurish, and sometimes enraged.

Childish: We were DISAPPOINTED in her BAD ATTITUDE.

Grown-up: We were deeply disappointed in her bad attitude.

Grown-up: Her attitude was disappointing and unacceptable to us.

Childish: We ARE MEETING On WEDNESDAY At 3:00 PM.

Grown-up: Meeting: Wednesday at 3:00 p.m.

Childish: I am HAPPY to send the Report to you.

Grown-up: I am happy to send the report to you.

 Like gratuitous caps, out-of-control uses of bold, italic, underscored, and odd fonts tend to overwhelm a message.

 Yes, crazy punctuation and wild character treatments are hard to miss, yet the tactics rarely offer any advantages to the writer and potentially tell the reader to beware.

 I encourage you to spread the word!

My best to you,

Sallie Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

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Sit, Stay, Speak, Shake & Fetch

Did you spot all of those errors?

No matter where we look, written messages (emails, posts, texts, tweets, presentations, publications, etc.) contain all kinds of mishaps:

-       misused, misspelled, misplaced, and missing words

-       multiple grammar and punctuation errors

-       factual mistakes

-       misleading statements

Why?

Well, let’s not blame the dog, the cat, or the child for that matter!

The problem lies in our ability to create and send communications so effortlessly that we speedily go about it without a second thought. Just as readily, however, with a little practice, we can pick up valuable proofreading skills that become second nature.

To eliminate mishaps that diminish the value of our words, we all need to practice Sit, Stay, Speak, Shake & Fetch—Write Lady’s Favorite Proofreading Tricks:

1.    Sit

Just as we teach a puppy to sit so he (or she) is settled, paying attention, and ready for the next cue, we also need to sit when reviewing content in order to focus. When our bodies are mobile, our eyes are roving around. Instead of registering mistakes, our brains autocorrect errors that exist on the screen, and we end up overlooking them. 

2.    Stay

Not unlike a busy puppy with so much to explore, we encounter a world of distractions that prevent us from staying on task. However, if we begin to review content and then stop because we’re pulled away, we should start again at the beginning. If we simply pick up where we left off, we’re not only less focused, but also unlikely to recognize issues like lack of continuity and clarity. 

3.    Speak

Speaking doesn’t mean to read so loudly that all within barking distance can hear. The point is to read our content aloud slowly to detect a variety of issues—e.g., statements that a reader would likely misconstrue, and words and phrases that don’t flow. Hearing the words spoken also highlights errors involving missing, misplaced, and misused words. 

4.    Shake

We teach puppies to “shake hands” as a friendly gesture. While a congenial tone engages audiences, the idea here is to shake things up by printing a hard copy to proof. Although running a paperless office preserves trees and cuts clutter, we save valuable time and effort by catching more mistakes when reviewing words on paper versus relying solely on a screen read. Printing is especially recommended when editing a larger document, such as an article, a proposal, or a brief with 1,000 words or more.

Most editors recommend printing content in a double-spaced (at least) manuscript format and using a cover sheet to keep upcoming lines hidden from view. Focusing only on one line at a time prevents our eyes from jumping ahead and allowing our brains to autocorrect mistakes that we overlook.

5.    Fetch

If a puppy can learn to fetch useful items, we humans have no excuse for not finding and seizing resources that improve the overall quality and validity of our content. In certain cases, we’re wise to enlist one or more proofreaders to make sure we’ve covered the topic effectively or stated the message clearly and appropriately. Having fresh eyes on the content is also a prudent practice for recognizing and correcting mistakes, including grammar and punctuation.

Additionally, we all need to take time to check facts and look up spellings.

 Yes, of course, factors like a message’s length, complexity, and significance determine the degree of proofreading warranted. Exercise discretion. Even my smart doggie would perform every trick he has mastered for a meaty steak bone, but he’d sit and give me a you-must-think-that-I-was-born-yesterday stare if I had only a tiny piece of his everyday kibble to reward him!

Bottom line: If we consistently practice only one proofreading trick, we’ll communicate more effectively with messages that contain fewer errors.

My best to you,

Sallie Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

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Encountering a Case of Rudeness

Do you believe that speaking rudely to others is acceptable in certain business situations? Does being rude ever benefit a professional relationship?

Of course, perceptions about what is or isn’t rude vary. In addition to our different cultural backgrounds and experiences, we humans are unique in our personalities.  We also possess varying degrees of social awareness. Even so, most of us either know or could and should be taught to understand why certain ways of speaking and behaving qualify as rude: bad-mannered, curt, derogatory, discourteous, disparaging, disrespectful, impolite, insolent, insulting, offensive, or tactless. 

I offer my personal encounter with a rude individual, who was conducting business on behalf of a professional group, as a case in point:

I was preparing to leave my office for a meeting when I received an unidentified incoming call. My inclination was to let it go to voicemail. Instead, I answered. What if the client was calling from an unfamiliar number to tell me something I needed to know before I left?

Caller: “Mrs. Boyles, I’m calling from [this is not the real name] Dr. King’s office and you have an appointment next week. Your insurance from last year is not valid, and I need to verify your coverage.” 

Her tone was demanding and slightly accusatory, as if I had intended to deceive the office. How ridiculous! If the office had asked me about insurance at the time I made the appointment, I would have happily provided it.

Me: “My insurance changed as of the first of the year, but I don’t have time to do this right now. I’m about to leave for a meeting. I’ll be back in my office at 3:00. You could call me then.”

Picking up on her attitude and feeling pressed for time, I responded accordingly—matter-of-factly without pausing.

Caller: “So sorry I interrupted you!” Click.

She was undeniably sarcastic (no hint of apology there!) before hanging up on me. 

I could have decided to ignore her rude tone and unacceptable behavior. She was an insurance coder from a doc’s office that I’d probably not need to visit again after the scheduled appointment. Besides, she didn’t exactly inflict bodily harm. No poison arrows came shooting through the phone. Quite frankly, if I’d so chosen, I could have conjured an excuse for her, making her the victim of poor upbringing or personal problems, and simply hoped she’d never upset someone who was already suffering with a serious medical condition. I could have prayed for her!

I considered another possibility: If she was seriously disturbed, my confronting her bad behavior—no matter how tactfully—might lead to unintended consequences. I imagined a crazy woman taking the plunge into the murky, muddy waters of negativity and dragging me along!

Did I really want to go there?

No … but life has taught me to stick up for myself.

Reinforcing that but was my attitude from growing up in a family business and now running my own company: I greatly appreciate customers and all others who allow me to earn income in a field I love. For those reasons, please let me know if you have any questions or concerns tops the list of my most common expressions. In other words:

Please tell everyone if you’re happy with my product and service; please tell me if you are not. Learning of the problem directly from you allows me to make things right.

Without hesitation, I called the number back. I was prepared to reach the insurance coder directly, but the receptionist answered. She apologized upon learning what had transpired and passed me to the office manager, who also listened to my account of the disrespectful dialogue. The office manager, too, apologized with her tone and her words. Although I appreciated the way both had listened and responded, I also took the first few minutes of my appointment to inform the physician of the incident. His reaction demonstrated his shock and disapproval over his office worker’s behavior, and he thanked me for letting him know and for suggesting an opening line his callers should use.

We not only reap the rewards and the consequences of our own words and behaviors, but also of those with whom we associate.

·      Each time employees, partners, and others speak and act on behalf of an organization, they make impressions that reflect upon the entity, its members, and leadership.

·      One rude representative is enough to send a customer—client, patient, patron, etc.—on his or her way to the competition.

·      Many who avoid a conflict with the direct offender or the offender’s associates have no qualms about sharing their unhappy experiences with an audience, whether that’s one key person or the masses.

·      Rude words and behaviors trigger responses that create greater problems, wasting time and energy on efforts to resolve the issue instead of fueling productive endeavors.

Granted, preventing all (intentional and perceived) rude actions and words is impossible. However, certain initiatives limit negative exchanges and mitigate damages: 

·      Instilling a system of respect and appreciation within the organization

·      Building a culture of customer service and appreciation from the top down

·      Developing, ingraining, practicing, reviewing, and refining policies for communicating and operating, such as incorporating accepted ways to greet, inquire, inform, respond, and thank

·      Rewarding those who exemplify desirable conduct and identifying them as role models

·      Taking responsibility and extending sincere apologies when matters get out of hand

·      Extending consideration to those who feel mistreated, even when good judgment deems the offense is minor or imagined

·      Addressing all offenses and problematic individuals, including those who otherwise perform well, so that no rude word or conduct gets a pass

Getting back to the case at hand, I don’t know what (if any) action the office manager and doctor took. I hope she’s receiving customer service training and being monitored to ensure no one else encounters rudeness. Thankfully, as it turns out, my health is fine, so I won’t be returning to that office to find out. 

All in all, the call could and should have transpired something like this:

Caller: “Good morning, Mrs. Boyles, this is Mary Smith from from Dr. King’s office. Am I reaching you at a convenient time? I’m calling to update your insurance on record before your appointment next week.”

She would have clearly stated her name and purpose in a friendly voice.

Me: “I’m sorry, but this is not a good time. I’m about to leave for a meeting. I’ll be back in my office at three. Would that be a convenient time for you to call me back?”

Picking up on her tone, I would have made an effort to sound gracious.

Caller: “Thank you, Mrs. Boyles. I’ll call you back from this same number at 3:00. Have a good meeting!” 

Me: “I appreciate that, Mary. You have a good day, too.” 

See? That wouldn’t have been painful. Politeness, in fact, is easier to administer than rudeness with rarely a negative side effect.

I have to add that most of my encounters are positive. Honestly, when I’m conducting business and the other party sounds stressed for whatever reason, I typically strive to lighten the mood with a pleasant voice and often a little humor. I get great results when other person doesn’t hang up on me!

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady, Freelance Ghostwriter, Copywriter, Journalist & Editor at Write Lady, Inc., www.writelady.com

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Stop Making Promises

When have you received a verbal or written promise that fell through the cracks? Were you annoyed, disappointed, angered, inconvenienced or harmed?

Words deliver expectations, which, in turn, influence how others think and act. While some unintentionally break promises, as when acts of nature intervene or when misunderstandings occur, others knowingly say what they don’t mean or know is true in order to escape sticky situations. Plenty also don’t care what they communicate—as long as the message serves a certain purpose. Despite any justification, unfulfilled promises produce casualties, including hard feelings, spoiled relationships, and tarnished reputations.

The following examples demonstrate how to stop misleading others by thoughtfully rephrasing casual comments made with underlying promises:

1)   Avoid using absolutes like always, never, all and none.

If you would have promised: “We’ll always hire you to cater our events.”

Instead say: “We’ll call you again about catering for us.”

If you would have promised: “Rest assured that our tour guides are all bilingual.”

Instead say: “We all speak English and Spanish to some degree, and every tour includes at least one guide who is proficient in both languages.”

2)   Qualify or quantify the possibilities.

If you would have promised: “I’ll have an answer for you within the week.”

Instead say: “After comparing all of the proposals and consulting with my team, I’ll either call you with a decision or email additional questions to you by Friday before noon. My goal is to make a final choice by May 1.”

If you would have promised: “If you place the stock order for summer, you’ll quickly sell the entire shipment.”

Instead say: “Boutiques of your size with similar demographics average selling their stock order for summer within nine weeks.”

3)   Don’t offer false hope in order to skirt or postpone disappointing news.

If you would have promised: “I’ll talk with the board about inviting you to speak for the event.”

Instead say: “Although your experience of living alone in the wilderness sounds fascinating, the board is seeking a celebrity speaker with ties to our cause.”

If you would have promised: “You are my choice.”

Instead say: “You would be my choice, but John prefers MBAs, and he’s the one making the final decision.”

4)   Don’t make an unlikely promise based upon your wishful thinking.

If you would have promised: “I’m so looking forward to the luncheon on Friday.”

Instead say: “Although I always look forward to the luncheon, the last day of our sale is on Friday, and the likelihood that I’ll be able to leave the store is slim.”

If you would have promised: “I’d love to take care of Fluffy while you’re away.”

Instead say: “I’d love to take care of Fluffy while you’re away, but since I’m allergic to cats, he can’t stay with me. I’m happy to go by your place each day to feed him and change his litterbox.”  

5)   Avoid guarantees that involve factors over which you have no control.

If you would have promised: “I promise you that my client will love your ideas.”

Instead say: “Based upon what my client told me, my sense is she will love your ideas.”

If you would have promised: “Yes, we’ll finish the landscaping tomorrow afternoon.”

Instead say: “We intend to finish the landscaping tomorrow if we don’t have too much rain or wind to slow us down.

Clearly, making promises is easy, and so is breaking them. Likewise, with only an ounce of integrity and a little thought, we possess the power to prevent making any promise that we can’t keep. In that effort, let’s especially be mindful of how we convey promises without the words I promise. 

My best to you,

Sallie Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

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Why Email Campaigns Lose

What do you think about email campaigns?

Oh, wow! What a great offer!

Oh, wow … another offer I don’t need.

Gee, no one clicked on the offer.

Some question how email marketers continue to reap success from their campaigns in an era of social media and text messaging. Nevertheless, year after year, stats from the Direct Marketing Association and other sources substantiate that email as a direct marketing tool produces healthy ROIs and remains vital to organizations of all types and sizes. 

When warm prospects—clients, constituents, followers and others with an interest in products, services, news and/or expertise—receive what they view is an enticing or useful offer or piece of information, they are highly likely to open an email message upon receipt or save it for later. They at least gain an impression that keeps the sender—such as an organization, professional resource, brand, or philosophy—in mind.

Simply sharing pertinent information with warm prospects, however, does not guarantee an email campaign will succeed. Consider the following three common—yet easily avoidable—content marketing blunders that sabotage email campaigns:

1.     Using personalization inappropriately

-       Automatically inserting names in the greeting field based solely upon email addresses risks an immediate turn off each time the generated name is meaningless or inaccurate. If I see Dear Lady Write, I immediately view the email as spam.

-       Getting too personal deters recipients, even when individuals desire access to particular products, services and/or news. People, for instance, don’t necessarily want sources that provide health-related insights or items to communicate with a personal greeting. Dear Mary, To the Parents of John Smith, etc. can feel highly intrusive.

2.     Talking down to people

-       Belittling contacts as a means to lure them into a sense of urgency, such as by shaming or making people feel incompetent, alienates many. A message can emphasize needs and concerns (like what happens when an issue is neglected) by taking a tactful approach.

3.     Beating people over the head

-       Repeating the exact message over and over, well beyond the saturation point, is one of the easiest ways to annoy people. While reminder emails are often acceptable and appreciated, senders need to know when contacts have had enough. Good indications include an increase in unsubscribe notices and a decline in opens and responses, but starting with a thoughtful plan that expands reach through social media, for instance, rather than excessive emailing avoids alienating fans and losing business.

-       Lazily recirculating the same facts or views without any attempt to add fresh insights is especially detrimental when distribution lists contain many loyal recipients. Taking time to research and think about how to approach an issue from different perspectives or with updates enables those who revisit familiar topics to keep them relevant and interesting.

What are your email marketing pet peeves or challenges?

Feel free to contact Write Lady ([email protected]) to vent and/or explore possibilities regarding effective email marketing for any budget.  

My best to you,

Sallie Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady

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My Best Love Note Tips

How often do you use the word love in some context? 

According to various data sources, love ranks among the top 300 of over one million words used in the English language. Those four letters speak volumes. They also drive people crazy.

Yes, love is an easy word to toss out when referring to certain people and things.

“I love that actor!”

“I love your puppy!”

“I love chocolate cake!”

“I love his new haircut!”

When relating to complex relationships and feelings, however, love is also one of the most difficult emotions to express. Some never quite find the words. 

If searching for how to articulate the love in your heart, consider the following tips for gathering your thoughts and transferring them into your sweetest sentiments:

1.    Produce a word/phrase list that describes the one you love. Begin by grabbing a tablet (electronic or paper) and finding a quiet place where you can concentrate on the person you love. (A fond photo might help you gather your thoughts.) Plan to spend three uninterrupted minutes of brainstorming, although you might want to allow more time. No matter how long it is, set an alarm initially so that you are not watching the clock.

The process entails typing or writing all words and phrases related to the individual that come to mind without pausing. Consider traits and actions, your emotional responses, visual memories, etc. 

The only rules are: 1) not to edit yourself—no deleting or correcting—as you write, and 2) not to prevent what enters your mind from becoming written words. The idea is to uncover truth and meaning.

Warning: This is a revealing exercise!

2.    Review your list and highlight only items that resonate with you. Which words punctuate what you value in the other and in your relationship? Pay attention to any outliers that might have materialized.

3.    Take note of the categories that have emerged—i.e., the individual’s personal attributes, the meaningful moments you’ve shared, and how he or she makes you feel. Without overthinking the task, place your key words and phrases into groups according to what they represent. The point is to find cohesive elements, so don’t agonize over whether a particular adjective points to an attribute you love or an interest you share.

4.    Use the categories to choose a theme, also the premise of your message. If, for instance, your memories are wrapped in laughter, you might highlight the other’s sense of humor and fun-loving attitude. If a particular moment or occasion stands out, you could relay that memory and its importance to you and your relationship. If your writing exercise produces a variety of traits that you love about the individual, you could place the spotlight on one or several of those qualities.

5.    Once you have the content for your message, the next step is to select a format for presenting it.

Option 1: Make a collage of the words and/or phrases from your brainstorm. All lettering could be the same or in a variety of fonts, sizes and colors. You could arrange the words in a particular shape, such as a heart or a perfect circle, or let them flow in a river pattern across the page. For the most personal and probably the easiest method, locate a pen or paintbrush and write by hand.

 Option 2: Use key words to write a plainly stated yet powerful note. A straightforward approach is relatively painless for the writer yet still impresses the recipient. Start by confessing that you took some time to contemplate all that the individual means to you, and continue by sharing the memory of a special time or by revealing the quality (or qualities) that you cherish.

For example:  I actually turned off my phone today in order to focus on you and the reasons why you mean so much to me. At the heart of everything is your kindness. You’re instinctively kind, especially when another needs a little tender loving care. You make the extra effort without any apparent motive—other than to experience the sweetness of creating a happy moment for someone else. I smile when I think of how you asked the older gentleman if you could have his shopping cart. You didn’t need it for the three lemons you were about to purchase, but you decided to rescue him from trudging across the sweltering asphalt parking lot to the cart corral. Jen, you have made me a kinder person as well, and for that I love you all the more.

Option 3: Build an acrostic—which uses the first letter of each line or the first word of each line to spell out a word or message—based on the person’s name or a chosen theme. The framework requires a bit more thought but presents endless possibilities. Take, for instance, this simple message for someone named Sammy:

Sends flowers to my grandmother

Appreciates my silly jokes

Makes room for dogs on the sofa

Misses me when we are apart

You’re the light and love of my life!

Option 4: Write some poetry. The ideal approach, whether lighthearted or serious, is one that comes naturally to you by reflecting your personality or frame of mind. The following stanza from “Tin Wedding Whistle,” a poem by Ogden Nash, demonstrates how wonderfully humor pairs with romance:

“Near and far, near and far,

I am happy where you are;

Likewise I have never larnt

How to be it where you aren't.”

Also keep in mind that some of the most beautiful, lyrical writings do not rhyme. The excerpt below is from a note that John Keats wrote to his beloved Fanny Brawne in 1819:

“I have been astonished that men could die martyrs

for their religion—

I have shuddered at it,

I shudder no more.

I could be martyred for my religion.

Love is my religion

and I could die for that.

I could die for you.

My Creed is Love and you are its only tenet.”

If you insist on composing a rhyming verse, consider structuring your sentences so the easiest words to rhyme appear at the end of your lines. For simplicity and uniformity, some like to carry the same ending throughout a verse. Upon choosing an ending sound, such as ing, gain options that spark ideas by looking up words ending in ing or, perhaps, searching for words that rhyme with thing.

No matter which tactic you choose, keep in mind that my love note tips apply to expressing many kinds of love and sweet sincerity. The fundamental lesson is to speak from your heart to the heart of the one you cherish.

Nevertheless, if you continue to struggle with the l-word, Write Lady would love to answer your call for assistance!

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady 

[writeladyblog]

Grammatically Correct Dating

Are your dating habits grammatically correct?

Yes, dating—as in writing out dates! Even though we learn about the calendar as early as preschool, many of us end up confused over the rules for presenting dates correctly.

Save and share the following guidelines to correct and prevent some of the most common dating errors: 

1.         Although a comma separates the day and date, place no punctuation between only the month and year.

October 1, 2020

October 2020

2.         Omit the comma when showing only the month and day.

October 1

3.         Use no comma with the European format of presenting the day, month and year.

1 October 2020

4.         If including the day of the week, state it first.

Thursday, October 1, 2020

5.         Do not use a superscript—st, nd, rd or th—when the day, expressed as a numeral, follows the month and precedes the year.

Incorrect but common

March 1st

Notably incorrect

October 1st, 2020

Correct

The event is on March 1. (1 pronounced first)

The event is on May 2. (2 pronounced second)

The event is on May 3. (3 pronounced third)

The event is on May 4. (4 pronounced fourth)

The event is on the first of March.

The event is on March first.

6.         If you are compelled to include the superscript—st, nd, rd or th—when issuing an informal invite or announcement, the day, expressed as a numeral, should precede the month.

Correct

25th of August

7.         When spelling out the month and day, use the ordinal (first, second, third, etc.) form for the day.

Correct

October 1 = October first

1 October = the first of October

Incorrect

October one

October One

8.         As a rule, use numerals—not words—to write the year. To avoid beginning a sentence with a number, simply rearrange your words.

We launched in 2015.

versus

2015 is the year we launched.

9.         If the circumstance—such as a formal wedding invitation—dictates spelling out the year, American form does not include the word and.

2020 American = two thousand twenty

2020 European = two thousand and twenty

10.   When writing out the month, day, and year in a sentence, set off the year with commas.

Will you visit me on October 1, 2020, to celebrate my special birthday? 

11.   Do not use a comma when indicating only the month and year or the month and day without the year.

Will you visit me on October 1 to celebrate my birthday? 

Will you visit me in October 2020 to celebrate my special birthday? 

12.   Do not use a comma with the European format.

Will you visit me on 1 October 2020 to celebrate my special birthday?

13.   For formal publications and presentations, abbreviate only the months with more than five letters—Jan., Feb., Aug., Sept, Oct., Nov. and Dec.—and do so only if the day and year accompany the abbreviation, as in Oct. 1, 2020.

Incorrect

Mar. 1, 2020 (Only five letters in March)

Oct. 1 (No year)

Oct. 2010 (No day)

14.   Add the s only when referring to multiple years in a decade or century without the apostrophe.

We lived in California during the 1980s.

The family emigrated to America in the 1900s.

15.   Use an apostrophe to truncate the year.

We lived in California during the ‘80s.

I launched my business in ’03.

16.   Use an apostrophe with the s only when using the year(s) as an adjective.

She has a 1980’s dress.  (The dress is from the year.)

She has 1980s’ clothing. (The clothing is from the decade.)

 Is that enough about dating for now? If you have additional questions, please feel free to contact me!

My best to you,

Sallie W. Boyles, a.k.a. Write Lady