Discrepancy #40
Gilyoung is portrayed differently. This is also a case of writers analysis.
I’ve said in Discrepancy #4 that Gilyoung is introduced differently in the novel and I was curious how that would change his character.
Welp I got my answer :D
Now here’s the thing, I’m a writer. I analyze things as a writer. So allow me to introduce the writing technique I’ll be talking about today: Show Don’t Tell.
It’s a basic technique that tends to get recommended to newer writers. Show your audience what you want them to know, don’t just tell them. This works best for explaining emotions or the emotional impact of something. For example:
OP was very disappointed when she looked at her phone and saw her bad grade.
This is an example of telling the reader exactly what happened. Versus this:
Once the grades dropped, OP immediately checked her grade book. She was proud of her work and was sure that the teacher saw that too. As soon as the page loaded, her smile dropped as she stared in confusion. She searched the page to be sure there was no mistake. Her hands trembled softly and everything around her felt suffocating. Her eyes stung and her chest clenched. She quietly turned off her phone and didn’t mention the grade.
See the difference? It’s more personal, more believable, more detailed. It’s just an easy method for newer writers to practice being descriptive.
But, like all writing ‘rules,’ they can be broken. Let’s examine the novel and webtoon.
Here is how Gilyoung is portrayed in the novel:
[ORV Novel, Chapter 7]
This is an example of ‘Tell.’ The author is plainly telling us what’s going on. Why does this work? We don’t know these characters yet. This is the first time Gilyoung is being introduced so we kinda have to be told how he’s feeling. The author wants us to perceive him in a certain way and the only way to do that this early into the story is to plainly tell us.
The beginning of the story is just that, the beginning. They’re laying the groundwork. Was there a way to do it more elegantly? Yeah, probably. But for these purposes, it works just fine. Honestly, as long as it works it works. Don’t fix it if it ain’t broke.
Also this novel is pretty good at show don’t tell, as shown in the 4th paragraph of the screenshot but I digress.
Now let’s look at the webtoon:
[ORV Webtoon, Episode 7]
This is an example of ‘Show.’ There are no words describing Gilyoung, just his expressions and body language. So why does this not work?
Well, we’re missing information. What is the significance of Gilyoung just standing there? What is the significance of him staring at a body? Why is he staring at a body? Who is the body he’s staring at?
All of these questions are answered in the novel because we have more information. We know that it’s probably his mom that he’s staring at. We can’t kinda pick it up that the person he’s staring at is important to home due to framing and composition, but who is she? Who is she to him? We don’t know. Hell, we never find out in the webtoon. That’s information given in the novel that is just left out.
So let’s return to the start of this post. How does this portray Gilyoung differently?
The novel portrays Gilyoung as a child that has just watched everything go down around him and watched his mother try to kill someone and then got herself killed. Hes reasonably scared and wants comfort. He’s around 11 I think? 10? My service isn’t good enough to look that up right now. Anyways, when Dokja offers him comfort, even though he has ulterior motives, Gilyoung is going to latch onto him.
Because we’re lacking a lot of the context surrounding Gilyoung (his mother, her actions, and his laughter that I referenced in Discrepancy #4), Gilyoung just seems like a traumatized kid that isn’t processing what’s happening. And yeah, he is on a base level, but there’s no depth to that.
Dokja’s decision to talk to Gilyoung is so impactful in the novel because we get the line about Gilyoung not grieving his mother but fearing death. There’s depth to that decision. Not only is he taking advantage of Gilyoung’s fears to gain the constellations’ favor, but also providing this kid another chance of survival. He’s saving Gilyoung again.
In the webtoon, it looks like Dokja saw this scared kid and is only using him for personal gain. It doesn’t look like he understands Gilyoung’s pain or fear.
But Dokja does. He does understand. We don’t know that yet, but later on when Dokja’s backstory with his dad comes to light, it shows that yeah, he does kinda understand what it’s like to be a kid in a shitty situation with no one to turn to.
Anyways, that’s my lecture on show don’t tell.
