Crying
Inspired by a recent reblog titled “words to use instead of crying,” I want to talk a little bit about physicality.
So often in my critiques and beta reads I see authors using fanciful words in an attempt to express emotion where a physical description would work better.
Crying is the perfect example of this.
Crying is a physical expression of emotion and it leaves traces all over the body. Sobs shake the body. Tears make the eyes sore. Extended crying gives the crier a headache. Loud crying/sobbing makes the voice ache. Crying thickens the throat and makes the breath come quick and shallow. Already you can probably think of several ways to describe each
Telling your reader that “grief washed over” a character, that they “cried hysterically” or “broke down in tears” is just that. Telling. By giving the reader an insight into the way the emotion makes a character feel inside their body you provide a link to the reader’s own experiences with the same emotion. You trigger memory of a time they felt the way the character is feeling, a memory they can use sympathetically to feel as the character feels. If the reader can relate, they can empathise, and if they can empathise you’ve got them right where you want them.
(And yes, I use the Queen’s English.)