A character staring at their own missing person's poster
After surviving a traumatic event, the first time that character looks into the mirror and sees the new version of themselves
When two characters' relationship suddenly blew up, and later one reaches for the others hands and finds their friend pulling away
A character revealed to be nonhuman/living weapon finds their friends now flinch from them
Surviving character of a team looking back on old photos
A character surviving a natural disaster/war attack, only to be left surveying the rubble of their home
Newly amputated character experiencing phantom limp syndrome for the first time
A character who survives a threat in the frigid cold experiencing their first winter after the trauma
Vice versa, a character who was forced to survive in the desert experiences their first summer since the incident
The moment the extreme stress starts to cause skill degradation in something matters to the character. i.e. a singing voices cracking unexpectedly, a violinist's fingers slow down and grow stiff, an artist who begins to despise their art (finding their art style degrading)
Finding something striking in the rubble of war. A singed family photo. A shredded pet collar. A crushed instrument. A hair bow.
Creating authentic emotions is vital for immersive storytelling, which is why I decided to make this series on how to write different emotions. After exploring rage, and sadness it's now time to delve into fear!
Fear is a powerful emotion that can manifest in various ways, from subtle apprehension to paralyzing terror. Here's a guide on how to write fear effectively, covering different aspects of your characters' behavior and reactions.
Facial Expressions
Fear often manifests first in facial expressions, conveying the initial shock or unease. Describe these expressions to immerse readers in your character's emotional state:
Widened Eyes and Dilated Pupils: Show the eyes widening in response to a sudden threat, with dilated pupils indicating heightened alertness.
Tense Jaw and Clenched Teeth: Mention the clenching of jaw muscles or teeth, signaling internalized stress or anxiety.
Furrowed Brow and Raised Eyebrows: Describe the furrowing of the forehead and raised eyebrows, revealing worry or confusion.
Quivering Lips or Lip Biting: Note subtle lip movements like quivering or biting, reflecting nervousness or fear.
Frozen or Stiff Facial Muscles: Highlight moments of fear-induced immobility, where facial muscles become tense and rigid.
Body Language and Gestures
Fear can also be expressed through body language and gestures, showcasing your character's instinctual responses to danger or threat:
Backing Away or Recoiling: Describe your character instinctively moving backward or recoiling from the source of fear, signaling a desire to retreat.
Raised Shoulders and Tensed Posture: Show how fear causes the shoulders to rise and the body to tense up, indicating readiness for fight or flight.
Trembling Hands or Shaking Limbs: Mention the trembling of hands or shaking of limbs, reflecting nervousness or anxiety.
Covering Vulnerable Areas: Describe your character instinctively covering vulnerable areas like their neck or torso, symbolizing a protective gesture.
Fidgeting or Restlessness: Note any fidgeting or restlessness, such as tapping feet or wringing hands, as signs of inner turmoil and fear.
Vocal Cues and Dialogue
Fear can alter vocal cues and dialogue, affecting how your character speaks and communicates their emotions:
Quavering Voice or Shaky Speech: Describe the voice quivering or becoming shaky, indicating nervousness or fear.
Rapid Breathing and Gasping: Mention rapid breathing or gasping for air, showcasing the physical impact of fear on the respiratory system.
Stammering or Hesitant Speech: Note any stammering or hesitant speech patterns, reflecting the character's struggle to articulate their thoughts coherently.
Sudden Silence or Lack of Verbal Response: Show moments of sudden silence or the inability to respond verbally, highlighting the overwhelming nature of fear.
Repetitive Phrases or Vocalizations: Describe repetitive phrases or vocalizations, such as muttering prayers or chanting reassurances, as coping mechanisms in fearful situations.
Reactions and Physical Responses
Fear triggers various physical responses in your characters, showcasing the body's instinctual reactions to perceived threats:
Increased Heart Rate and Sweating: Mention the character's heart rate increasing and sweating profusely, reflecting heightened physiological arousal.
Dilated Pupils and Heightened Senses: Describe dilated pupils and heightened sensory perception, as the character's senses become more attuned to potential dangers.
Muscle Tension and Rigidity: Note muscle tension and rigidity, as the body prepares for action or defense in response to fear.
Nausea or Stomach Churning: Show how fear can lead to feelings of nausea or stomach churning, as the body's stress response impacts digestive functions.
Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response: Highlight the character's instinctual response to fear, whether it's a readiness to fight, a desire to flee, or a state of frozen immobility.
Types of Fear and Emotional Depth
Different types of fear can evoke varying emotional responses in your characters, adding depth to their portrayal and the narrative:
Startle Fear: Describe the sudden, reflexive fear triggered by unexpected events or loud noises, leading to a quick, intense reaction.
Apprehensive Fear: Show the lingering sense of unease or dread that accompanies anticipated threats or impending danger, heightening tension over time.
Terror: Depict the overwhelming, paralyzing fear that arises from extreme danger or horrifying experiences, impacting the character's ability to think or act rationally.
Phobias: Explore specific phobias that trigger irrational and intense fear responses, shaping how your character navigates their environment and interactions.
Trauma-Induced Fear: Address fear resulting from past traumas or experiences, influencing the character's behavior and emotional resilience in present situations.
Verbs and Adjectives for Writing Fear
Here's a list of verbs and adjectives to help you convey fear effectively in your writing:
⤠ Wet: emotional, crying, trembling, screaming, being hurt & embarrassed for caring so much
⇨ Types Described by Therapists
⤠ Assertive Anger: a constructive form of anger in which someone expresses their emotion in a healthy, safe way
⤠ Behavioral Anger: impulsive physical reaction often expressed through violence
⤠ Chronic Anger: continuous, low-level feeling of anger/resentment/frustration often impacting health, relationships, and self-esteem
⤠ Destructive Anger: unhealthy response to anger commonly expressed through verbal/physical actions to hurt others
⤠ Judgmental Anger: response to a perceived injustice which can be expressed through criticizing others and can cause feelings of loneliness or low self-esteem
⤠ Overwhelmed Anger: sudden response due to stress reaching a boiling point
⤠ Passive-Aggressive Anger: avoidant response that includes emotional suppression, often expressed as sarcasm or pettiness
⤠ Retaliatory Anger: reaction to a direct attack, verbal or physical, in which anger is usually directed back at attacker
⤠ Self-Abusive Anger: anger directed inward, often caused by shame and low self-esteem
⤠ Silent Anger: non-verbal reaction to anger in which someone closes themselves off and does not communicate
⤠ Verbal Anger: aggressive anger in which one lashes out at another through verbal attacks; often feels guilt afterwards
⤠ Volatile Anger: explosive and destructive response that makes it hard for person to communicate or express themselves
✺
Writing Anger
➵ describe body language
➵ describe facial expressions
➵ describe physical side effects
➵ show character’s behavior
➵ show character’s inner dialogue
➵ show other characters’ reactions
➵ use short sentences and sharp words to build tension
➵ avoid using the word ‘anger’ or any synonyms; using the word is an obvious sign that you are telling the emotion instead of showing it
How do you write body language without it becoming repetitive. There's only so many times I can write "his eyes narrow" without it getting annoying
A. Find other ways of expressing an emotion through body language; there are bounteous resources specifically for writing body language let alone studying it from a psychological perspective. I've also found that noting irl body language is an incredible help, especially when you realize everyone has different habits/tells.
B. Express an emotion through the character's dialogue, tone, or vocables (e.g. grunt, grumble, sigh, gulp).
C. Use the reactions of other characters to describe/support the effect of the character's body language (e.g. Character B acts nervous because Character A is speaking in clipped sentences and advancing on them).
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Do you have any advice for writing feelings? When I write I find that my worst habit is "this happened. She said this. They reacted this way. They said that. Then that happened." (I think it's better written than that but that's the bare bones) and I can't find a way for me to organically convey what the characters are feeling without relying purely on physical descriptions (face and limbs moving, etc). I took "show don't tell" too literally and now I feel like the writing comes off as robotic.
I’m not sure how much I can help. I feel like this is something I struggle with myself.
I guess the first thing I think of is how the emotion feels inside the body. How we feel emotionally usually have some sort of physical effect; a twisting stomach, tightened throat, pounding heart, shaking hands, anything really.
It doesn’t have to be a physical action, but describing the body on a more internal level can help show what the character is feeling.
If you don’t want to go that route, there is nothing wrong telling the audience how a character feels just so long as you don’t name the emotion directly.
A character isn’t embarrassed, they want the floor to swallow them whole.
They aren’t sad, they just wished they could lay down, close their eyes and dream it all away.
Allow yourself to get creative with imagery. Using the phrase, “it felt like…” isn’t the end of the world.
Internal monologue is also great for this. The benefit of novel format is being inside the character’s head. While subtext is great, sometimes having the character think a quick comeback, but not voice it can show their sustain better than any physical description.
These are just some of the techniques I try to use. I’d also recommend looking more closely at writers you enjoy and really try to break down exactly what they’re doing with their sentences.
We often fall into the trap of having character’s cry during difficult times, crying because of a horrible series of events that’s taking place. And this is realistic and good. But let me offer up an alternative.
When everything is going wrong, and character A thinks they aren’t going to get out of this, or that nothing will ever be okay again. They think they will never see character B again (this can be a love interest, a friend, family). Yet they have to focus, they have to do everything in there power to avoid that.
And they do. They avoid it. They make it though, they get out, they get home. And as character B wraps them in their arms around them, relieved they’re even alive, that is when character A finally breaks down into tears.
When a character cries should depend on each character. I have characters who cry often, who are open about their emotions but can also keep going while they cry. I have character’s who hold back tears as long as possible because they know when they break down they won’t be getting back up for a while. I have character’s who don’t even need to put effort into holding back those tears because they don’t usually cry, but might cry days later as they finally begin to process.
All of these are valid. But there’s something just so good about seeing a character be honest about their emotions in a safe place after the fact.
It can be powerful to show different ways of showing emotion.
As usual, check out my socials and book here.
What’s a moment in a book where the character(s) cried and you felt it hit you hard?
Hello how do i know if my characters are acting melodramatic? Like what is considered to be melodramatic? There's this sense where my main characters are both surprised and they realized that their plan to take down the antagonist had now changed. I don't want their reaction to be cheesy and unrealistic. Thank you!
Hi there Anon!
I actually looked up the definition of melodrama (not because I didn't know it) so I could come up with a more concise answer for this question. So lets answer that part of the question first.
Melodrama is about intent. You (the writer/the character) is trying to force the reader to feel a certain way about what's happening. You are using purposeful words to incite the emotion you want instead of presenting the situation as it is and letting people connect to it themselves.
It's cheap and it's hollow and even if it works for a moment it won't leave a lasting impression.
Your characters are acting melodramatic if their dialogue/actions/narrative is heavy-handed in the specific effort to make the reader feel something.
To avoid this concentrate less on using emotive words to try to force your reader to feel shocked/betrayed/upset/sad and more on your character's honest reaction. If you've built up a sense of importance about their plan/taking down this antagonist, when you suddenly throw that into question by new information the shock your characters feel will be mirrored by the readers.
So less of this:
Carol threw the letter to the side, heaving a great wet sob as the devastating reality of the moment cut into her flesh. She was left raw, bleeding, overwhelmed by betrayal. Gertrude had done it! She'd had her way with Alfred despite the pact that they had made. A woman couldn't be expected to go on after she was confronted with such an outrage. To have a trusted confidante rip a long sought lover out from beneath her grasp?
It was too much! Carol felt the waves of nausea cresting in her bosom, a tingling faint darkness was creeping up her spine. She would never recover from such a thing! Never! \
(I'm just saying if you don't want to slap Carol, we don't understand each other.)
More of this:
It certainly shouldn't have been a surprise. Alfred was a perfect example of a man. It shouldn't have been a surprise if anyone would try to invite themselves into his bed. Carol wasn't upset at him, of course, because he couldn't have known how long she'd been dropping her handkerchief at him, hoping he'd pick it up as he walked past.
But Gertrude had known. They had sat here, by this very window, huddled together over lukewarm cups of tea, plotting about how to get Alfred to notice her.
It was good to know the plans worked, and upsetting to know that they only worked for Gertrude. No matter, Carol thought as she closed her fist around the letter. No matter at all.
(Um, so now I'm pretty sure Carol's gonna kill a woman.)
Example A is heavy-handed telling the reader that they should be upset for Carol because Carol is upset. All of the words in there are designed to make you feel a certain way (like mood music in a soap opera). Example B is using information about the situation to show the importance of the betrayal so you can be upset with Carol.
