#writteninpen

[i-wrotethisforme]

People aren’t always who you expect them to be, but that’s good because sometimes they’re better. And where would we be without pleasant surprises. I live for unexpected people coming through and changing my life. I always root for the underdog, I always have faith in people who are doubted, I always want to see people prove themselves, and I always count on the fact that people can surprise me. And it would make life a lot better if you did too.

[arionwritings]

They looked at my people And they deemed them "illegal." I spat in their faces And corrected them. No human can be illegal On stolen land.

Arion Boldon

[lexicaccetta]

You're not the sun. Everything doesn't revolve around you.

Lexi Caccetta // 3-20-16

[letheeos]

You touch me and I start to feel again, you tell me I am beautiful but I have heard it so often, thrown around like an identity by all these people that it doesn't even feel that way, you hold my hand to show you care but all I can think about is how I've held hands before and it never turned alright. You kiss me and I want to say it felt like a sigh of bliss, but I remember how the former kisses carry the memory of ache. I want to tell you that you make me feel like there are stars all over me and how much I appreciate your presence, but I think my words are not enough, and never will be.

It is the sighs - KZ

[i-wrotethisforme]

I know when things don’t work out it’s too easy for us to say we weren’t enough and that’s what makes it impossible to feel closure. But just because you don’t marry someone it doesn’t mean they didn’t feel something for you, like a lot, and it doesn’t mean they aren’t going to think about you ever again. Because they are. People who I’ve gone on one date with and decided I never want to see again still cross my mind when I pass a certain restaurant or someone mentions the town that person said they’re from. You’re not forgotten and you didn’t “mean nothing,” I promise you. So just because it’s over, it wasn’t pointless and you aren’t worthless to this person. This person is still going to think about you, probably a lot, even if they already replaced you, even if you really hurt them. That’s just human, you meant something at one point and you will always mean something.

[i-wrotethisforme]

We always try to control the course of our life and test fate and change the world and that’s truly great, especially if it leads to us bettering ourselves or understanding the universe more, but sometimes we need to just let things happen to us.

[i-wrotethisforme]

My first love was partly a fairytale and partly the most unhealthy relationship I’ve ever had- somehow at the same time. But I’d do it all again exactly the same. He was the best first I could’ve asked for, even though it was probably a big part of how flawed my view on love currently is. And my second boyfriend was very literally the guy I told my first boyfriend not to worry about, but we didn’t reconnect until years after I broke up with the first one. And if I stayed with him we would’ve been married by now and I’d have anything I ever wanted- materially. But there were too many tests that we couldn’t pass, too many mountains- literally- that our love couldn’t pass through. But he always treated me well and I left for no good reason but with no regrets. After him there were a lot of maybes and some almosts and an I love you that I didn’t return. And then another one. And then I met my last (real) boyfriend and I found out what an unhealthy relationship actually is. But I don’t regret that either, staying or leaving. And I did both. And I said real because its not real unless they meet my family and the next two didn’t but they were still boyfriends to me- one technically and only for a month, and the other in every other sense of the word and for a while. And I might still marry that one but it’s not time for us yet. There are still some people I haven’t met yet and some mistakes I need to make that I hope will teach me about the things I’m unsure of. But I’ve taken some very important things from every boy I’ve loved and I’ve given away some very important parts of myself, so even though they’re in the past, they’ll always still matter.

[i-wrotethisforme]

If getting caught in a rainstorm is what you need to clear your head and work through your crazy thoughts or problems, then that’s what you need to do. Or maybe it’s going for a run in the middle of the night or locking yourself in your bedroom with candles and a record. But whatever it is to you, it’s called self care and it’s necessary and it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself when you feel like your mind is taken over by clouds. And most importantly, it can be whatever you want it to be and it doesn’t involve anyone else.