FUCK, I STILL LOVE YOU. BLUE LOCK X FEM! READER
SYPNOSIS: Blue Lock men being losers while wanting and yearning for you after you broke up with them.
ᴀ/ɴ: changed up the layout a bit </3
•Also new kaiser info abt his family?? no way his middle name is love 😭
FT. Isagi Yoichi, Bachira Meguru, Michael Kaiser, Alexis Ness, Karasu Tabito, Nagi Seishiro, Mikage Reo, Itoshi Sae, Itoshi Rin
ɪɴsᴘᴏ: ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛɪᴋᴛᴏᴋ ᴀᴜᴅɪᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏᴘᴇʟᴇssʟʏ ᴅᴇᴠᴏᴛᴇᴅ sᴏɴɢ
..
ISAGI YOICHI
"Fuck—don’t walk away, please." He says, hands clenching at his sides. He wants to touch you, hold you, to reassure himself that you're still here—anything. But he already knows he's not worthy of even touching something as precious as you.
Even as you try to walk away, he's already trailing behind you. Even if his feet are hurting after all those running just to find you—he's not letting you go now. He won't make the same mistake twice.
"Please. Just talk to me—" He doesn't even care about the rain drenching his clothes already, all he cares is that you have an umbrella to cover you. All he's thinking of right now is still you.
The worst part now comes here—he does something completely desperate. He kneels right in front of you—his trousers getting muddy because of the wet, dirty street floor. He's almost trembling—and if it wasn't raining right now, you'd notice how tears are falling out of his eyes. "I can't—I can't let you go. Please, I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, I'm worthless—I just.. I just need you." He doesn't even care if his dignity is already falling in pieces, or if people are watching this scene right now from the comfort of their homes. He just needs you to lay your heart in his palms again.
BACHIRA MEGURU
It was just supposed to be a normal day at home. Your family was out, so it felt completely empty inside. It's usual fun was nowhere to be seen. As you sat on the couch, you heard repeated knocks on the door—as if whoever was knocking wanted to tear the door apart.
As you walked towards it, the knocks were sounding more rougher and louder. Your heart then dropped when a familiar face showed after you opened the door. Bachira looked hopeless—his eyes red and puffy probably from all the crying he's done all night.
His hands were trembling while holding flowers—his clothes messy and wrinkled with dusty and dirt on it. He looked like a mess—just like his heart. He immediately dropped to his knees, the flowers set aside on the doorstep. He tugged at your pajamas like a crying kid, his eyes looking like it was a second away from tearing up. "I miss you. Come back.. come back to me, please.." This didn't feel like Bachira at all. The boy full of fun and play, was now withering, shaking, and weak below you. Instead of jokes and humor, it was all sadness.. and devotion.
His hands keeps on tugging your clothes, trying to savor anything as if it's the last time he'd ever get to touch you. Tears finally fell, and he didn't dare to move from this position despite your words. He wouldn't, not until you give any signs of coming back. "It's so lonely.. I'm lonely without you.. Please.."
MICHAEL KAISER
His pride was too high to even admit that he wants you back. He tells people he doesn't care anymore, that he's perfectly fine without you—but it sounds like he's trying to convince himself instead of convincing others.
He still subconsciously lingers around things that remind him of you. That one T-shirt that you gave to him? It's still inside his closet—his excuse was that it still looked good on him regardless. That one restaurant you used to love? He doesn't enter, but he walks past it—as if looking at it will bring back memories of you.
He doesn't beg, he doesn't chase, he doesn't reach out—he simply lets himself suffer in this pool of emptiness that he doesn't even dare to acknowledge. He hates you, he resents you, it's all your fault—that's his daily affirmation to hide his loneliness.
But when the realization sinks in at midnight, he simply looks himself at the mirror—laughing, without any humor in it as he sees tears flow out of his eyes. You could love him—but he just wouldn't let you. Not because he didn't want to, but because he didn't know how.
ALEXIS NESS
If devotion was a person—its name would be Alexis Ness.
His soul, his heart, his mind—its all full of you. He's already degrading his entire existence for making the stupidest mistake of leaving you. He doesn't stop chasing you, he doesn't stop yearning, he doesn't stop begging. If you told him to jump off a train track, he would if it meant that he would be with you in the afterlife.
"C-come back to me. Don't leave me. Y-you must still love me in some way, please. I-i’ll do anything!" He says as he's on his knees—practically hugging your legs as he looks up at you with those teary eyes. His throat is already aching from the constant begging he's already done, but he doesn't care at all.
"I-I can fix us, I can make this work!" His voice slightly cracked while his hands were shaky trying to keep you in place—as if you would disappear if he ever let go. "It’s all my fault—but I-I can fix this! Just.. Just come back.."
KARASU TABITO
He was already mediocre enough—now that he lost you, he was feeling more hopeless than ever. In his life, the only extraordinary thing that ever existed was you.
He found you walking down the street—your eyes eventually locking with his before turning the other way as if he never was even there, that he was completely invisible. It hurts his heart more than he can admit—it's now being crushed to pieces by your own hands.
But he's not going to give up this easily again. He still followed you, even calling out your name—but to no avail, still no response from you. He feels like he's embarrassing himself right now, but he doesn't care.
You ran to your house, about to go in and lock the door before he had the opportunity to grab your arm and make you look at him. "Okay, I messed up. Alright?" He said, panting slightly as he looked straight into your eyes. "But don't just walk away, please. Just.. don't." His voice dropping to signify that sign of vulnerability. He couldn't say all the things that he wanted though, as you immediately pulled away and shut the door in front of his face.
NAGI SEISHIRO
Nagi thinks that he's perfectly fine with the silence, the emptiness, and the loneliness. In fact, he loves it.. So obviously he doesn't care that you just left abruptly, right?
These past few days—he feels relentless. The usual things bringing him comfort were unable to fill in the holes in his heart that you left. Even sitting and standing up inside his own apartment felt too heavy, since your love wasn't there to take the weight off of him.
He rightfully had enough of all of this. He tried to visit all of the usual places he know you could've visited as well despite him not being in the mood to do so—but nothing. He even tried to find one of your shirts that you forgot to take back from his apartment—hugging it in his sleep, as if it's the only thing that can keep him sane.
He then tried to message you—only to realized he's been blocked. He hears from one of your friends that you left the city in order to start a brand new life. Nagi feels.. he doesn't even know what he feels. The reason for his happiness, the reason for him to get out of bed early in the morning, the reason for his motivation—it's now gone. And for once, he can feel tears staining his cheeks as he sobbed silently into your shirt.
MIKAGE REO
He hides everything behind his usual confident and responsible self. He doesn't tell anybody of the break-up—people still think that you two are still together. He only lets himself cry when its finally the end of the day where he feels like he's.. empty.
He tries to swoon you again. He leaves luxurious gifts right at your door, he pays for your every single order in secret at your favorite restaurants, and he keeps sending extra money in your bank account that he still keeps tabs on. As they always say.. "Money always solves your problems."
But can money fix a broken heart? Can his money have your heart back again? He tries to act unbothered when you keep on ignoring his every tactic, as if it wasn't there in the first place—but he's absolutely hurling inside.
His last resort is to show up at your door uninvited. This time.. with no gifts with him. He wants to talk with genuine love right now instead of paper money. But you obviously don't pay attention to how he's empty handed, you're only focused on how his eyes are red from all the crying.
ITOSHI SAE
Sae wasn’t affectionate at all. He used to say that he doesn't care about this things about romance—until he made an exception, you.
But now he's doubting himself, he's beating himself up for letting his walls down for someone who'd just put them back up again. Although he's doing perfectly fine on the outside, it feels like knives are stabbing him on the inside.
He starts to focus more on his career, he's now sharper than ever at practice—but it always seems like he can still see you in the corner of his eye. He tries drown his hearing in music, as the silence can make him hear your voice again. The Itoshi Sae is often times tense nowadays, and that was completely unusual of the cold man.
He’s hiding your face in the back of his mind. He refuses to even acknowledge you, because you're now from the past. Sae doesn't chase, he doesn't beg, he doesn't cry—no, he lingers on the past memories silently as the silence kills him inside—and that hurts way more than anything.
ITOSHI RIN
He's absolutely raging inside—but to who? To you? To himself? Or.. to this emptiness that you left behind?
Unlike Sae who was even more sharper and motivated than before during practices—he used football to let out his rage, making some of his plays sloppy. He's hiding himself beneath sports to forget you out of spite. He says he doesn't care, he says he never did—but he's trying so hard to not let his facade slip and expose the heartbroken face underneath.
Even when you're away, he still keeps in mind about things you used to tell him subconsciously. He doesn't skip meals for soccer anymore, even if it's just a small plate of food since you told him not to. He now knows how to do the most basic household chores because you taught him how to. It's like he's keeping you alive inside him, despite him wanting the opposite. He scoffs after realizing what he's doing, but still does it anyway in secret.
Constantly has nightmares and dreams about you—it's mostly him trying to reach out to you—to hold you, before waking up, sweating and panting. He doesn't sleep after that, only staring at the bedroom wall. How could he sleep, when the person he needs so badly isn't sleeping beside him, and is perfectly awake with happiness?
..
Ts so ahh