#wtf steph

[a-dog-called-dusk]

I think it's important that we acknowledge that "it never occurred to her that the sheer force of her anger wouldn't just incinerate him" is the Stephiest sentence to have ever Stephed.

[rexrattorum]

Me and my girlfriend sitting on a picnic blanket together which keeps getting blown up by the wind.

Me: aw it’s trying to hug us.

My girlfriend: or smother us.

[bitterless-baby]

Rachel Amber ruined my love life

So when the second episode of BtS came out I decided to go on the friend route for Rachel because I was tryna get it on with Steph since u heard that she was into girls right...then comes the part when Chloe and Steph are on the bench talking and Steph brings up RACHEL AMBER and wants to get it on with HER and not ME (aka Chloe)

,,,I was so heart broken, FUCK RACHEL AMBER

[postergirlwithnoposter]

Me: *Listening to Tove Lo's "He's Gone". Tove Lo: *singing* "Did you let him leave a necklace" Me: I have listened to this song 3210830472 times and I just now noticed that's what she was saying

Considering the context of the song, the fact that it went over my head is hilarious. 😂

[torn-and-frayed]

How the hell am I even still awake? I got an hour and a half of sleep last night. Was out the door at 4:30am eastern time. 8 hours+ in planes/airports. Went back 3 hours in time. Preregistration. And I'm still freaking awake at 12:22am Vancouver time which would be 3am my normal time. And I'm sitting here about to write my hiatus challenge fic. Maybe.

[torn-and-frayed]

So I'm sitting in the parking lot of my doctor's office writing 2 or 3 different things in my head because I don't wanna go in. I think I might have a problem. And I'm gonna go home and be pissed off I don't remember anything I just thought.

[infireandblood]

I had two bizarre dreams; 1) about the last remaining ppl on earth who lived underground and worshipped... NAIL POLISH! They like flicked it at each other. I don't even know 2) I was married to some guy who was in a coma and apparently he was heavily into crime and suddenly I had to do what he was supposed to? Which included weird funny smelling PIZZA which had like... Test tube babies? On them? It was like a society where babies were dying out? And we smuggled them? AS PEPPERONI ON PIZZA WHAT IS MY BRAIN. However the second would be a hilarious plot with obvious tweaking 😂

[light-in-the-cave]

the last ridiculous thing I heard the signs say

Aries: (brother) Why would they replace Christian Bale? Fucking Ben Affleck.

Taurus: (coworker) *deadpan* I just dropped my coffee all over the kitchen floor. 

Gemini: (fiance) I have a standing desk, a light, and headphones. And a cube of isolation.

Cancer: (me) I don’t have the energy for this shit. 

Leo: (friend) If you touch me right now, it’s either to kill me or give me a back rub. One or the other.

Virgo: (childhood friend) What size lingerie do you wear? For research purposes, of course. 

Libra: (cousin) I’m such a horrible adult. I suck at adulting. 

Scorpio: (dad) Secret Santa means it’s secret. 

Sagittarius: (college roommate) *on her 22nd birthday, sending out a Snap of her listening to TSwift*

Capricorn: (coworker) I’m not normally this useless. But it is a Tuesday.

Aquarius: (uncle) The shit I’ve seen as a bus driver would change most men.

Pisces: (aunt) You just wait and see, sweetie. You’ll sleep with your dog one day.