pairing : xavier thorpe x anorexic reader
summary : xavier knew reader had mental health issues , but to what extent ?
warnings : mentions of anorexia , depression , anxiety
you woke up with a gasp , enid had shook you awake when you were in a particularly deep slumber , you squeezed your eyes shut , praying maybe if you pretended you were dead she would leave.
“Y/N!! did you forget an alarm? we have to leave for breakfast soon.”
you rolled ur eyes as you turned back over in bed “im not hungry, plus id rather be sleeping before class, i’ll wake up before class starts .” you said ignoring her other words , exhaustion taking over you.
“well what about xavier ? it’ll be awkward if he sits at the table with us and you’re not there.” she replied back , trying to coax her out of bed.
“well xavier can deal with it im trying to sleep enid “
sighing , enid grabbed her things and went out the door , and about twenty minutes later after silent peace , y/ns alarm went off to get ready for class.
sitting herself up, she rubbed her eyes as she looked at the bruises forming on her legs , her iron had become extremely low recently , causing her to bruise over pretty much everything .
she put mascara on , and spot concealer over her eyebags , but she didn’t really care to do the rest of her makeup , instead putting on her uniform and focusing on avoiding xavier before first period .
which was really the last thing she wanted to do, but she felt like she needed to avoid him for her own sake , lately he has started to do what all bfs to with their gfs , worry about them .
but it was for a specific reason , she has began to heavily decrease the food she was eating , which caused xavier to worry for a multitude of reasons, when you guys were intimate , he held you like glass, like you could break at any moment , any slight grip from his hands would end with a bruise forming on you , which made him worry even more.
but also because of your drop in weight , he even confirmed it himself when he checked the size of one of ur shirts u had left in his room when u first started dating , size M, to your uniform you even had to rebuy to get in a smaller size , a size XS.
you thought about it as you walked , bag over your shoulder as you walked through the halls , and into first period botany . You avoided xavier’s eyes as he obviously was wondering where you were that morning .
sitting down , he taps your thigh . “why didn’t you answer my texts ?” he asks . “i dont think i even brought it with me , i haven’t really been on it.” you reply absentmindedly , which makes him fiddle his fingers in concern .
“it’s just i was looking for you most of the morning .” he said , before mrs thornhill began speaking.
about 45 minutes later , everyone began to pack their things for next period, which unlucky for you was another class with xavier .
as the bell rang and you guys left for class , xavier noticed you turn to the opposite way of the hallway . “did you not wanna walk together ?” he asked catching up with you “plus where are you even going ?”
“im just going the long way , i don’t really wanna go to class” you responded , which made him frown “well you can’t ditch .” he said , matter of factly, to which you rolled you eyes . “obviously, i wouldve just been late or something .” you responded
“oh okay.. so i’ll see you later ? “ he says , heading to your guys’s next class . you didn’t respond as you walked away , you really didn’t mean to treat him this way, when you were at war in you head you tended to create war with everyone else, even if xavier was the one helping you fight .
you walked into the bathroom , sitting in a stall and resting your head against the wall ; you were exhausted, you didn’t even realize when the bell rang for class, or when five minutes turned to ten minutes , when ten turned into you being in the bathroom all period .
You would’ve probably stayed sitting there longer had xavier not texted you.
xav 💕 : did i do smth? why are you avoiding me
you shut your phone off as you walked out of the bathroom to the hallway near your third period , as you had technically already skipped a class, you couldn’t skip anymore . luckily this was a class without xavier in it.
You walked through the door and sat down in the back , the farthest from the teachers desk and you put your head down. you hadn’t realized you began to doze off, and woke up to your teacher shaking you awake .
“Y/N! if you cannot remain awake during class hours i will have to let principal weems know that.”
You rolled your eyes as you walked out , just wanting the day over.
when classes had concluded for the day , you trudged back into your dorm , wanting nothing more then to sleep or even just lay down . But sadly as you walked into your room you realized it was friday.
you walked in to see Xavier sitting on your bed with flowers , you mustered a smile and greeted him with a hug.
“hey lover” he spoke softly , wrapping his arms around you, to which you reciprocated. he kissed the top of your head , speaking softly “wanna still go out ? we dont have to if you aren’t up for it, i mean you seemed pretty off earlier .”
you took a breath in “yea we can, i just wasn’t feeling well earlier , sorry”
“that’s always your excuse , you never feel well .”
“well what do you want me to say xavier?”
“i just-“ he put his insecurities aside , as much as people told him your behavior meant you were being unfaithful, he knew that wasn’t it. “i just want you to talk to me , im worried about you .”
you blinked at him for a moment “why are you worried about me ?”
“why am i- why wouldn’t i be? im your boy friend and - and you’re dropping weight like crazy y/n, i don’t know if something’s wrong or not when you don’t talk to me.”
you were a little stunned , sure you knew you had a problem, but it was like u had put yourself in a bubble , thinking that you were the only one to notice anything about yourself . you didn’t realize how painfully obvious it was when u skipped breakfast and dinner , only opting for lunch .
“I mean- y/n you weren’t even overweight you - you were healthy and just i don’t understand why you’d do something like that to yourself.”
“well maybe i don’t either Xavier! but the last thing i need is you coming in here and fucking getting mad at me about it!”
“baby im not mad at you . im worried about you , and im sad whatever your dealing with you feel you have to hide from everyone , i just want you to talk to me.”
“nothing is wrong xavier , i just- can we do date night another night ? im tired.” you said , walking away from him.
“but - y/n “ he said standing up and walking towards you “why do you always walk away when i try to help?”
“because i- i don’t even know what’s wrong.” you said , looking away because you were embarrassed. but he gently grabbed ur chin and turned your face towards him . “then please let me help you, i just feel like you aren’t happy , no matter what you do , and it’s just - i’ve noticed things that make me really worried.”
you blinked at him , confused “such as?” you said , which prompted his heavy response . “remember how bad your periods used to get ? like it used to knock you off your schedule for days and made you miserable , you don’t think it was noticeable you stopped having your period ? “
you were irritated now as you thought of a rebuttal “well then why didn’t you check if i was pregnant?” you said spitefully . “i mean , fair. but you were only losing weight , so i didn’t think it was that , i googled it and malnutrition can make your period stop, im - im not trying to be nosy and in your business about it , bu-“
“well you are” you said harshly , standing up “and you shouldn’t be .” he looked at with hurt and concern, as you grabbed your phone and backpack and walked out of your room.
“i died a lot , to live a little with you.”
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