#xfactor53

[gaknar]

Proving once again that Jean Grey isn’t a complete airhead, of course turns down Cyclops wedding proposal. Of course she does!! What woman in her right mind would marry this guy!! His last wife, the one he abandoned after all of 2 seconds of consideration, has been dead all of a week and a half and now he’s proposing to someone else! YES she heard you Scott and no she’s not going to marry you because she’s not fucking stupid!! (X-Factor #53 – Apr 1990)

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Oh my god look at these two vapid yuppies. Look at that fur coat. This makes me so mad after the last issue where they couldn’t cart the Locust off fast enough so they could get back to their date. THIS is what was so important??? This is what couldn’t wait and was so urgent that you couldn’t offer 5 seconds of emotional support to another super powered person who was clearly having an episode?? Well I hope you two had a nice night and don’t have any psychotic episodes yourselves.

Maybe I’m projecting here, but it looks like Jean straight up vomits into Scott’s mouth the second he proposes to her, probably because she’s getting some residual psychic feedback from when that fake ass bitch proposed to Madelyne after like a week and a half of dating.

That’s right, Jean! This prick is a complete phony! Get the fuck out of there if you know what’s good for you! (X-Factor #53 – Apr 1990)

[gaknar]

So it looks like Sabertooth was able to crawl away after his fight with Archangel ended in the last issue with both mutants collapsing into a pile of their own entrails. I wish we could have seen that. Sabertooth crawling away. He had more or less been cut in half, and it would have been funny to see him crawling with one arm and using his other arm to drag his lower torso away with him. Archangel should be dead about 5 times at this point, but after a little nap he’s not only completely coherent, he’s actually able to go another round with Caliban.

Oooo right in the intestines that are hanging outside his body! That Archangel can even stand in this comic, much less carry on an intelligent conversation while doing fight acrobatics, after sustaining the injuries and blood loss and poisoning, is pretty amazing. Or bad writing. I’m not sure which. (X-Factor #53 – Apr 1990)

[gaknar]

Whew ok, so in a fit of jealousy, and despite the fact that Sabertooth is actively hunting him, Mole came out of hiding and attacked Iceman during his date with Opal (and quite frankly, almost beat the shit out of him), but fortunately it all got sorted out before anyone got hurt. Everybody shows that there’s no hard feelings, and Mole goes his own way. It’s a little sad seeing this guy have to swallow his pride and acknowledge that the girl he’s crushing on isn’t interested in him, but he’s mature about it. He respects her wishes and in the end, he respectfully gives them some space. And you know what? Good for him. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but he does it with dignity. There’s always more fish in the sea, buddy. That chick wasn’t into you? Her loss. That’s the thing about life. Each day is a new adventure, filled with brand new characters and brand new possibilities. All you have to do is be willing to wake up and be there for it. Survive the bad days and you will live to see better ones. I promise you. Tomorrow is going to be your day, buddy. And the most important thing to remember is this: every single day that has you in it is better for that reason alone.

Oooo shit yeah no that Mole guy is fucking dead isn’t he. Dang. Oh well. (X-Factor #53 – Apr 1990)

[gaknar]

In the last issue we got to see Sabertooth rip Archangels guts out, and Archangel cut Sabertooth’s face off. In this issue we get to see a bunch of really cringey dating. This date looks fucking horrible!!! Who would want to go out with Bobby while he’s dragging around somebody else’s baby and constantly dropping all those packages on the ground! Fucking tell that rich asshole to come back and pick you up after he’s done babysitting!! Jesus. I guess you make an exception for the rich celebrity.

Oh well this hasn’t aged well. Nintendo is out of date, huh. In 1990. Nice call there, Opal. Nevermind that it’s 30 years later and I still can’t find a fucking Switch at Walmart 3 years after it came out, this comic was written in 19 fucking 90!!! That’s the year Super Mario Bros. 3 came out!!! Yep! What a fucking fad Nintendo was! Nobody’s going to remember them! I’m glad they’re gone! (X-Factor #53 – Apr 1990)

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Mercifully, now that Archangel has spent the majority of this and the last comic bleeding thick black bile all over his own colorful superhero costume, he’s finally rescued by Officer Jones and her partner who are hopefully going to finally get him some medical attention. After Caliban throws him off a 10 story building for good measure.

That’s what I call takin a lickin and keepin on tickin. At this point I’m wondering if it’s even possible to kill Archangel. Not by dropping him off anything!!! Not by cutting his stomach out!! Not by poisoning the shit out of him!! (X-Factor #53 – Apr 1990)

[gaknar]

Oh barf look at this cover. This is a real love it / hate it cover. Hate it: Scott and Jean slobbering all over each other. Love it: Caliban gripping Archangel by his compound hernia. Hate it: Having to watch Iceman date. Love it: Sabertooth is perfectly fine and hunting again after getting cut in half in the last issue. Ahhh it’s all mixed together I don’t know what to feel!! (X-Factor #53 – Apr 1990)