So, it’s been a week since AT8. I’ve been wanting to write something about it but I’ve been wanting to find the words and reflect on the last couple of weeks as a whole. I think I have now done that.
I’m not sure many people realise how much it took for me to go to AT8. Amanda has talked about her belief on needing to scare oneself and AT8 was definitely one of those times for me. I was anxious and nervous and terrified on so many levels but I pushed myself to do it because I thought it would be worth it and I don’t think I’ve ever been more right about something. I guess, in order to understand, I should explain why it took a lot for me to do that weekend. I’m an introvert – I’ve never been one for massive social gatherings and I’ve always been very nervous about meeting new people. That feeling has been intensifying recently. My dad retired about 18 months ago and because of the situation at the time I moved with him. We moved from the city to the middle of the country. I have also been unemployed for the same 18 months and I don’t drive (I am trying to pass my driving test currently but that’s a whole other story although still linked with nerves). This has meant that I have spent a good 90%+ of the last 18 months with only my dad for company (sometimes spending days at a time without going outside). My moods have been iffy and my motivation low. I’ve been really lonely. There are some other things too, going on inside my head, but I won’t bore you with them currently. Although apparently I may be rather good at hiding all of these things.
I decided to go to AT8 because I’d heard so many good stories about AT7 and previous events. I’d never been to a con before but I thought this one would be a good first one to go to – it was a very good decision. I had realised the night before I was due to go down that it had been 2 years since I’d travelled anywhere on my own – in order to stay somewhere else. So, I was terrified about getting to the Ren. I was terrified about being able to socialise and talk to people because I always worry about that. I was worried about meeting Amanda but more because I’d never met her before than because of who she is, if that makes sense. I was worried about having to be responsible for things I haven’t had to think about in years. So suffice is to say I was a nervous wreck/adrenaline filled throughout most of the week and weekend (not all, but quite a lot).
This was exhausting but so very worth it. I had so much fun. Amanda’s fandom is truly the nicest and friendliest group of people I’ve ever met. I quite literally laughed more and was happier than I have been in years and made friends that would not have been possible if it weren’t for this fandom. I have so much to be grateful for, for that weekend and it really meant so much to me. We raised a lot of money and gave a lot but I know that, for me and I suspect a lot of people, I got just as much out of it – perhaps more. It was a truly special weekend. Quite possibly the best of my life and I won’t ever forget it. It’s also given me the confidence to go to other cons (including LFCC in July and whenever AT9 is – I’m going to be there) XD
Lastly, (I could probably say more but I’m rambling enough as it is XD) I just want to thank some people for talking to me, making friends with me and just for generally making my weekend that extra bit special than it was already going to be:
xgfan, samantha-carter-is-my-muse, jessy-a-wessy, amaradangeli, xfchemist and a few other people but either they don’t have tumblrs or I do not know their urls.
Just a big thank you to everyone that made that weekend possible and who were there. It was simply amazing :)
